♣ Sequoia ♣

I'd never seen Beau so absolutely enamored. He was so lost in fascination. I wanted to love what he loved, so when he started barraging me with facts about sequoia trees, I found myself rather intrigued. 

"It's probably not that surprising to you that they have basically the thickest bark ever," he said, jogging ahead. He pressed his palm to one of the trees. "I'm talking like, two feet thick. That's like--" He held out arm and measured roughly two feet. "That's like this thick." 

"Wow!" I said, amused. "That's almost as thick as you." 

He laughed loudly. "Shut up. God." The huge trees just stood tall in silence, totally disregarding us. 

"How long does it take for them to grow this big?" I asked, approaching him with my hands in my pockets. 

"I think they get to full height once they're between 500 and 700 years old," he said, craning his neck to look up the tree. I watched him closely, appreciating his peaceful expression. "That's pretty insane, when you think about it. 700 years ago, Europeans weren't even in the Americas. And the oldest of these trees is estimated to be around 3,200 years old." He looked at me, his eyes alight. "I mean, the city of Rome didn't even exist 3,000 years ago."

I stared at the tree, touching its rough bark. "Makes me feel insignificant, to be honest." 

Beau took my hand. He smiled at me. "You're not insignificant." 

I squeezed his hand and guided him back to the path. "Ok, come on. Tell me more." 

"Well," he started, swinging our hands, "because of their thick bark, they're really resilient. They actually need forest fires to grow. And the oldest ones are still growing. They don't stop." 

"You're a huge nerd," I said. 

He looked miffed. "You're the one who asked. And yes, I am." 

I shook my head, chuckling. "I'm glad you're enjoying this. It's what I wanted." 

He looked reassured. "I used to read all about sequoias. I don't know why. I always just found them cool when I was a kid. They were my obsession." 

"That's why your mom gave you the photograph?" 

"Yeah. She also gave me a book about them." He closed his eyes and squeezed his face up. 

"Why are you thinking so hard?" I asked. 

"I'm trying to remember the exact words...from the book. It was such an awesome quote." 

"Your freaky memory failing you for once?" 

He shook his head, his eyes still shut tight. "No. I'll remember it." I waited. "It's something like... I left for Sequoia and have been and am at his feet, praying for light, for is he not the greatest light in the woods, in the world? Where else are such columns of sunshine, tangible, accessible, terrestrialized?"

"I can't believe you remembered all that." 

"I can't believe I almost forgot it. I was in love with them," he said, pulling me along. "It makes sense to me that the writer humanized these trees. They almost feel like they've got a little personality of their own." He held my hand tightly. "Columns of sunshine... Kind of like a testament to the miracles of life."

They did seem to have a strange life force about them. Quiet, immutable goliaths that would last the ages, the sequoias didn't care about the world. Walking amongst them made reality seem a bit altered, like we'd stepped right into another dimension or time had slowed down. But the shift had been silent and unassuming.

"Do you wish it was your mom here with you?" I asked. 

"No, I--" Beau stopped walking, dropping my hand. He wore a fraught expression like he'd realized something. He was feeling something deeply. "I'm glad I'm with you."

"I..." I swallowed hard. "Me, too." 

"Besides," he said, "she is here with me." 

I watched him in silence until I couldn't anymore. "I love you," I said suddenly, quietly, with a little caution.

He smiled widely. "Me, too. Now, let's go see General Sherman." 

"Who?" 

"He's the biggest sequoia in the world, obviously." Beau held his hand out to me. "Come on." 

I later fell asleep in the passenger seat of our car--Beau insisted on driving in exchange for my letting him stay so long at the park--and had a dream about that moment. He stood in front of me, his hair burning in the sunlight and his hand outstretched, welcoming me. He smiled, and I remembered the quote he'd recited. 

I have been and am at his feet, praying for light, for is he not the greatest light in the woods, in the world?

"Wow, you really were tired. Ren. Ren, hey!" 

"Copper, what? Are we back?" I asked, stretching. 

"Not quite," he said. I opened my eyes at his roguish tone. He was trying to suppress a smile. 

"What are you doing?" I asked, nervous. 

"I want to give you something," he said, unbuckling my seatbelt. "Just trust me?"

I stepped out of the car and slammed the door behind me only to be immediately chilled by a strong breeze. I inhaled deeply. "Where are we?" The air smelled like...

"The ocean." 

I stared at him. "Are you serious? How long was I asleep?" I looked around the mostly empty parking lot. "This is the opposite direction of the cabin." 

"And I couldn't care less," Beau said, turning my own words against me. He started jogging away. "Keep up." 

I shook my head, delight quickly overcoming my frustration. "And you called me crazy for pushing you in a lake!" I shouted, sprinting after him. 

He noticed me catching up and ran harder. And how he ran, his thin legs carrying him on the wind and his shirt fluttering around his body. I swear he was flying. "I thought you'd be faster!" he yelled over his shoulder. 

The concrete below our feet quickly changed to sand. I could hear the sound of the waves rolling in now. Beachgrass bit at my shins as we ran through the narrow path leading to the sea. I laughed as I broke through to the open expanse of the beach. The ocean stretched out in front of us for miles. The waves crashed again and again. The sun was just setting, painting brilliant lines of soft violets and fiery oranges across the water and sky.

Beau slowed down only as our feet hit wet sand. I slammed into him, grabbing him around the shoulders and spinning him slightly. I hadn't felt so spontaneously free in ages. Maybe in my life. The laughter just kept pouring from us as though it would never run out. 

"Have you ever thought about joining the Olympics?" I asked, out of breath. 

"No," he said, shaking his head. He was breathing hard, too. "I might throw up. Why did I even do that?" 

I smiled and ruffled his hair, looking out at the water. A wave slammed into our legs, tickling my ankles as it retreated. "It's going to be late by the time we get back," I said. I thought for a moment about the surprise I'd set up for him. If we didn't go back tonight, he wouldn't see it for a while. 

"Don't worry about it," he said, stepping toward the Pacific. A seagull called from somewhere behind us. "Don't worry about anything." 

We listened to the ocean for a minute. 

"So what did you want to give me?" I asked. 

He buried his toes in the sand as another wave hit us. "I wanted to introduce you to someone." 

"What? Who?" 

"My mom," Beau said, looking at me shyly. "And my dad. Both of their ashes are here, so. I mean, it was the Atlantic, but...I always feel close to her when I'm near the ocean. To both of them." 

I watched the water wrap around Beau's legs, dragging at his skin and smoothing the sand out over his feet until it looked like he'd been standing there for ages. He was just a part of the beach. I took a deep breath and stood beside him, burying my feet, too. 

"You said you wanted to meet my mom, so..." He rubbed his neck awkwardly. "Maybe this is weird, after all. Let's-"

"It's not weird," I said immediately. 

He looked hopeful. "It's not?"

I shook my head and stared at the horizon. "Nice to meet you finally, Vanessa." 

Beau giggled a little. I glared at him. "Don't laugh at me. I'm introducing myself to your mom." I looked back at the water. "My name's Ren Amano, and I intend to spend the rest of my life with your son." 

Beau made a little sound, but I didn't look at him because I felt suddenly like I might get emotional if I did. "I wanted to tell you... Well, I promise I'll take care of him. I'll keep him safe and make him happy. I'll make sure he's never alone again." 

"I'll hold him close when he's sad. I'll support him when he needs it. I'll celebrate his victories and mourn his losses alongside him. And one day, I'll marry him. We'll have full lives together and go on lots of adventures until we grow old and gross. And even that we'll do together."

It was no good. I felt the ache of tears behind my eyes. "So...please always watch over us. Inspire him to keep being the strong, solid, amazing person he is and help me, even when he makes me angry, to remember how much I love him." 

I swallowed my tears as best I could around the lump in my throat. It made my voice shaky. "...Thank you for raising the love of my life. Both of you." 

I hoped my words found his parents, wherever they were. But even if my vows were lost on the wind, I felt such relief finally being able to say them.

"Hey," Beau said, taking my arm. "Hey." I barely heard him over the waves as he pulled me into an embrace. He didn't say a single word after that. He simply held me and I him. 

I knew that wherever life took us, we'd be alright. We'd be together. I was ok with being carried away on the current, with letting fate guide us by weathered hand. I trusted and I longed and I loved. And it was everything to me.