✾ Scarlet Fuchsia ✾

Beau was lying on the couch. He'd fallen asleep with his book on his chest. I'd considered taking it from him so that its pages wouldn't be creased but didn't want to risk waking him up. He looked so sweet lying there like that on the couch, a little bit of his stomach exposed and his hair tangled over his eyes. It had gotten long now. For some reason, that realization made my soul settle comfortably in my chest. I thought of the first time we'd met, how we'd sat on that same couch together and just talked. 

I wanted him to feel better. He seemed worried about something. I didn't know what it was, but he'd started shaking when I'd kissed him. It wasn't the usual good kind of shaking, either. Something was wrong. I wanted to ask, but I wasn't even sure he knew what was wrong himself.

A knock sounded at the door. I looked to him, but Beau didn't so much as flinch. I smiled to myself as I went to answer the door. Ever the heavy sleeper, I thought. 

"Hey," I said, holding a finger to my lips. "Beau's asleep." 

Sallie grinned, hopping a little and launching herself at me. She squealed as quietly as I'm sure she could manage, but I still glanced back at where Beau had passed out to make sure he was still asleep. 

"I'm so happy for you, you absolute doofus," she whispered, smacking my back. She held me tightly, shaking me a little. I winced. 

"Thanks?" I said. 

"Is he sleeping ok? Is he healthy and happy?" she asked, stepping inside. 

I was about to answer her when I realized that there were other people standing awkwardly in the doorway. 

"Heya," the girl said, oddly saluting. She had dark hair and eyes and a white daisy tucked behind her ear. I wondered if she'd known that daisies mean innocence when she chose to wear it, but even more so I wondered where the hell she'd gotten a daisy in the middle of winter. Had she gone out of her way to buy one? Maybe they just sprung out of the ground where she walked. 

"Hello," said her partner in crime. French accent. This must have been Amory. 

"Uh, Sallie," I said, looking back at her. "What's-"

"They wanted to come see Beau," she said. "I told them that I was coming to visit, so they tagged along." 

I forced a smile, staring probably a little too long at Amory. The guy looked pretty unfazed, though. He met my eye unabashedly, and I felt like he was sizing me up. "Uh, come in, I guess." 

"He looks so peaceful," Sallie said, leaning over Beau. She was wearing a long necklace that dangled perilously close to Beau's sleeping face. I was worried that her rainbow-striped pants were so bright that they alone would wake Beau up. "Last time I saw him sleeping here, he looked really worried, even while unconscious." 

"Yeah," I said. "He's been amazing lately." 

She straightened and looked at me, her green eyes softening. "So have you, you know?" 

"Sallie, let's go to the kitchen," said the tag-along girl. She draped her arm over Sallie's shoulders. "I don't want Beau to wake up." 

It seemed weird that this girl I'd never even met had used Beau's name so casually. Who even was she? I was kind of bothered that Sallie had brought these people without asking me. I felt this strange floating feeling immediately followed by the urge to kick them all out as quickly as possible, but the uneasiness passed just as suddenly as it came. 

"Come on," I said, nodding my head toward to other side of the apartment and hiding my hands in my pockets. 

"It smells good in here," Amory said, stalking toward the kitchen. 

"We baked some cookies earlier," I said. "Help yourself." 

I watched him closely. He smiled, just for a moment, as if he knew something. There was a little glint in his eyes. I didn't know what he thought he knew, but it made me frustrated. Beau was always saying that I smirked like I had secrets; I hoped to god it wasn't anything like how this guy had just smiled at me. "Thank you," he said, grabbing a cookie from the plate on the counter and taking a bite. 

"Sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but who are you?" I asked, looking at the new girl. 

"Ohmygosh. I'm so sorry! My name's Marley," she said, holding out her hand. I took it. "Nice to meet you." 

"Marley," I said, immediately looking to Sallie. She was already staring at me. "The Marley?"I asked. 

"Probably?" she said, also looking to Sallie. 

Sallie held her hands up defensively. "Look, you never seemed to care to meet her before, so I never bothered. But you seem to be in a better place these days, so I figured why the hell not?" 

I dropped Marley's hand. "Sorry. I've heard about you. I just had no idea what you looked like." 

She shook her head. "No, it's understandable. Sallie's a locked box sometimes, so it's really her fault." 

"Hey!" Sallie protested.

But Marley just ignored her little outburst like she was used to it. "Though I feel like we should have met ages ago considering all that we have in common." 

I raised an eyebrow. "In common?" I glanced at Amory, who was leaning against the counter in silence munching his cookie. He was still watching me. 

"Sallie!" Marley explained happily. 

I smiled. "Yeah, there's that. It's nice to finally meet you."

Sallie seemed content. "So, how've things been?" 

"Uh, that's a very broad question," I replied. 

"How is Beau?" Amory asked. "He disappeared, you know? A person worries." 

I hesitated to answer because it felt like I'd be acknowledging Amory's right to be concerned by doing so. Something had always bothered my about Amory. Maybe it was what I'd heard about his romantic escapades from Sallie. Maybe it was because he always seemed to be the person that spirited Beau away. Or maybe it was just something as unavoidable as dumb instinct. "He's ok. We've had a good little break together, but he's ready to go back to school." 

"Our professor told me that he wants to meet with Beau about something," Amory said, crossing his arms. 

"Something good?" I asked. 

"Seems so," Amory said. "But I didn't ask."

"It can't be bad," Sallie said. "Beau is a perfect little duckling who could never do wrong." 

"You really act like his overbearing mom," Marley joked, clearly delighted. "It's cute." 

"He is my son. I have adopted him," Sallie said, then looked at me. "Guess that makes you my son-in-law." 

I flushed unintentionally. Sallie's eyes widened. "Wow, I don't think I've ever seen you blush before. That's wild." 

"Shut up," I grumbled. 

"You love him, Roommate?" Amory asked suddenly. 

I stared at him, crossing my arms over my chest. What right did he have to ask me that? It wasn't his business in the slightest. 

Marley cleared her throat and wouldn't look at anyone. Sallie was the one who spoke first. I watched her laser eyes light up. She'd locked onto Amory and was going to wring the truth from him. "Why you asking, Amory?" 

"I am just curious," he said. 

"That so?" she said, clearly suspecting something. She looked at me. I wondered if she saw what I saw. Something was up with Amory. "Well, answer him, Ren."

I sighed and closed my eyes, screwing the imaginary lid on the jar which contained my bubbling frustration closed as tightly as possible. I looked Amory in the eyes so he understood how serious I was. "I love Beau more than I've ever loved anyone in my entire life and more than I will ever love anyone again. He is the singular most important person to me."

Amory's expression changed. He looked surprised. "I believe you." 

Marley was blushing. "Aw," she said, leaning her head against Sallie's shoulder. "You're unexpectedly very romantic, Ren." 

I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. "Just telling the truth." 

"That's what makes it romantic!" Marley said, smiling. 

"Never thought you'd get here, you know? I'm glad you did, even if it took a lot of my help," Sallie said. "You used to be so bottled up and depressed all the time. My mom even used to ask if you were ok." 

I scoffed. "Teresa? She worried about me?" 

Sallie nodded. "We're all glad that you finally figured yourself out." 

"Are you painting again?" Marley asked. 

I rolled my eyes. "How come everyone knows I took a break?" 

"I didn't," Amory said. 

I wasn't sure if he was trying to be helpful, but I really wished just he'd just disappear. "To answer your question, sort of. I've done a little. But I'm going to work on getting an exhibition of my old work together before I start any new projects." 

I hadn't realized that I'd made up my mind about the exhibition until I said it out loud. 

"That's great, Ren," Sallie said. "You know we'll be there." 

"Guys?" 

I froze and looked behind me. Beau was standing at the edge of the kitchen. He was wearing one of my sweatshirts, which hung loosely on him, and a pair of jeans rolled up past his ankles. His hair burst from his head in every direction like it was trying desperately to escape. His dreams still clung to his eyelids. He rubbed one eye sleepily. God, he was adorable. 

But then, all at once, he was wide awake. "Sallie!" he said, perking up. He shot across the kitchen in two steps and collided with my best friend. He hugged her tightly, picking her up just a little. 

"Don't break me, Duckling!" Sallie wheezed. 

Beau set her down and grinned wildly. "I missed you." 

Sallie shrugged. "Next time you disappear for a romantic getaway with this one," she said, gesturing to me, "at least give me a call." 

"Sorry, sorry," he said, hugging her again. 

She patted his back, smiling. I knew she'd forgiven him before he'd even apologized. "I'll let it slide just this once." 

"Hi, Marley," Beau said, still hugging Sallie. "Nice to see you." 

"Yeah, it's been a while," she said. 

Beau held out an arm to her and she eagerly joined the hug, apparently overjoyed to have Beau's attention. 

"Do I get a hug?" Amory asked. "I am feeling left out." 

Beau turned and looked at him, smiling a little. He stalked across the kitchen. "If you must," he said. 

I grimaced as they hugged. Maybe I imagined it, but I swear Amory looked at me while it happened. 

"How've you been?" Beau asked, withdrawing. I felt jealousy writhe in my stomach, creeping through my guts. 

"Same as ever," Amory said. "Happy to see that you are doing ok." 

Beau laughed lightly. "Better than ok," he said, starting across the kitchen again. Gone was my jealousy when I realized where his destination lay, such that I felt like it was never there to begin with. Beau absentmindedly reached for me as he got closer, snaking his arms around my stomach and resting his head on my chest. I kissed his head and smirked at Amory. 

"Professor Miller wants to talk to you when you are back on campus," Amory said. 

"About what?" Beau asked. He looked nervous. I gave him a little squeeze and his muscles relaxed just a little. "What does he want?"

"He didn't say, but I am sure that it isn't any of the terrible things you just imagined," Amory said, smiling warmly. I held Beau a little tighter in my arms.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked, ruffling Beau's hair. 

He smiled and nodded, looking back at me. "Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep. I'm glad you got the cookies out at the right time, though. They look good." 

"You taught me well," I said. 

Beau blushed. "Glad to help." 

"Jesus, get a room, you two," Sallie said, but she was smiling. "Come on. Now that sleepyhead isn't passed out, we should go sit down. I wanna catch up." 

And catch up we did. Apparently, Sallie and Marley had moved in together. I was happy for them but a little surprised. Sallie had contented herself for a long time with relative solitude. She loved to be involved in others' business but never wanted anyone else involved in hers. If they were living together now, I wondered just how much Marley knew about Sallie. Did she know Sallie even better than I did? That was likely a good thing, I felt. Everyone deserves to be understood. 

Amory spoke very little to anyone, even Beau. He seemed content to sit and listen. It was strange. From what I'd heard, he wasn't one to stay quiet. Beau had called him 'open' more times than I could count, but this guy seemed about as closed-off as they came. Wait, what exactly did 'open' even mean? 

I was completely drained by the time everyone decided to leave. Beau looked sad to see them go. I just hoped I wouldn't have to see Amory again. 

Before she shut the door, Sallie paused. The others had already started down the stairwell. She stuck her head out, sandwiched between the door and the frame. "Ren," she said, gesturing for me to come closer with one finger. 

"What?" I asked. For some reason, she was whispering. 

"I don't think you have anything to worry about at all, but you should know that Amory kissed Beau once. He's probably not over it, but Amory's not the sort to try to steal someone's boyfriend." 

For a second, I couldn't even find the words. I knew it. I fucking knew it! 'Open,' my ass! 

"He what?" I wanted to absolutely deck the smug bastard. I wanted to punch him so hard that he'd wake up with no memory of what Beau's soft, beautiful, rosy, perfect lips felt like. 

"Calm down," Sallie hissed, grabbing my wrist. She pulled me away from my murderous fantasies. "I'm only telling you this because you'll probably find out on your own and I know that you'll probably freak out and take it the wrong way without guidance. So--" 

She squeezed my wrist hard. "Ow," I complained, glaring at her. 

"Are you listening to me, idiot?" she asked. 

"I'm listening," I said, but my gaze drifted to Beau. He was in the kitchen happily eating a cookie like the absolute miracle that he was. She squeezed my wrist even harder. I winced and tore my eyes from Beau. "Fine, what?"

"Don't worry. I know you are, but don't. Beau loves you and you love him. This happened before you even knew about each other's feelings. And trust me, Amory isn't a threat." 

"Laser eyes?" I asked, pleading for her absolute honesty. 

She smiled. "It's me, right? Aren't I all-knowing?" 

I nodded. "Yeah," I agreed, trying to force myself to believe her and feel ok with this. "Ok, thanks. Now close the door quickly before I give in to the urge to go kick the French right out of him."

I could still hear Sallie's laugh as I slid the lock shut. I sighed, hesitating for a moment. I watched Beau as he pulled himself up onto the counter, still buried in my sweatshirt and still apparently content. 

I smiled, shaking off the revolting emotions I'd just endured. "You look good in that," I said, returning to the kitchen. 

"Oh," Beau said, looking down. "Sorry, I borrowed it. I was cold." 

"Don't apologize. I'm happy," I said. I stood between his legs and rested my hands on his thighs. His eyes narrowed just a tiny bit. 

"Are you ok?" he asked. 

"Yeah, why?" I said. I remembered how he'd acted that morning. "Are you?" 

"I don't know," he said. "I feel like this whole day was a test." 

"A test of what?" I asked, realizing that I had been unconsciously rubbing his leg to comfort him. I didn't stop even after noticing it. 

"Us," he said. He hung his hands on my shoulders. "It's been so nice just being on our own. I didn't know what it was going to be like with other people." 

I was glad he felt the same anxieties I did. It was reassuring. "Do you think we passed?" 

Beau stared at me, his eyes searching. He touched my face. "I don't know. I think so. It feels like we just started something, though. It feels like we switched paths and things are going to be a little different from now on." 

"Is that a bad thing?" I asked. 

"Not necessarily," he said, smiling gently. 

I thudded my head against his chest, groaning quietly. He laughed and patted my head. "I'm tired," I complained. 

"You should have taken a nap with me," he said. 

"But I had to take the cookies out."

"Touché," he whispered. It was so quiet. I was thankful for it. "What can I do?" 

I smiled and raised my head, looking at him. I'd still been feeling the violent ripples from learning about Amory's kiss right up until that moment. When I saw Beau's vulnerable expression, the surface went still. Let Amory remember that kiss as much as he wanted. Beau's lips were mine. 

"Kiss me, Copper," I said. My voice came out raw and rough. I let him come to me. Beau looked content to do so. He was much braver than he used to be. He gently tugged me closer, caging me with his legs, and pressed his chest snugly to mine. His movements were steady and intentional, but I knew he was excited because I could feel his heartbeat. 

Beau was amazing. Lately, I'd been wondering if some guardian angel had sent him to me. Maybe that was the real reason he'd been on the roof that day. He'd only just touched down from heaven. Fate and all that. 

I closed my eyes. His nose touched mine, and I tilted my head ever so slightly. I waited for his lips, could feel their heat on mine, but they never came. Yet I found myself unable to move. It was like Beau had cast a spell on me. Every millimeter he moved was slow as a mile. I felt his warm breath again and again, repeated barrages on my sanity; my submission was inevitable, and I didn't know how much longer I'd last. I felt a shiver coming but suppressed it, afraid to budge. 

God help me. Beau was not the innocent boy I had once believed him to be. Anyone who could control a person the way he was me had to know, even a little, what they were doing. He was my puppeteer; I could feel the strings he'd tied me up with tight around my body, both keeping me close to him and lifting me up higher than I'd imagined I would ever get. I was grateful for the safety they offered me. I knew he would catch me effortlessly if I stumbled. 

My lips stung with longing. He hadn't even really touched me, but my entire body ached for him. And when he finally did kiss me, I barely felt it. It was an echo of a touch, like a butterfly had landed on my lips. But despite the fragility of the gesture, I still felt the fallout in every part of my body, a disproportionately terrifying tsunami after a minute earthquake. 

I knew that it was because of love. My feelings for Beau amplified everything he did. His words, his touches, every little thing went in one end of my heart and, whatever complicated workings went on in there, they all came out louder than before, wildly uncontrollable. And despite this, I didn't mind. I wanted nothing more than to listen patiently. 

Such a feeling could never be reversed, I knew, frightening and comforting as that reality was.