17th of March, 128 Desmond Calendar

The young lady's health is getting considerably better by the day. I'm really glad she's recovering. After the incident that happened five years ago, things only went downhill. Although it was her fault for dabbling into the dark arts, I guess I'm also to blame. As her butler, I was supposed to stop her from setting foot in that territory, after all.

Based on my calculations, the young lady should be fully recovered by next winter.. and, i will also die by then. Ever since my lifeforce dropped below 45%, the regeneration ability started costing more with a longer cooldown. Many things happened throughout all this, but the biggest change was that the young lady's attitude has changed for the better, so I have no regrets.

I find it a bit odd, honestly. Is it because I had already died before? The looming sense of death isn't as heavy the second time around.. I just wish for her health. I wonder who will take care of the young lady when I'm gone? I should talk about it with the young lady's father. Well, that's enough for today, I'll write again someday.

19th of April, 128 Desmond Calendar

The new season is on full swing, and the young lady's health has made more improvements. She can now take short walks, although she still needs a cane and her wheelchair for long distances. Her birthday is coming up soon.. I don't know what I'll get her yet, but I'm sure I'll think of something. I'll be able to use my healing ability again a week after her birthday. It seems that Hannah decided to drop by the other day and asked for some sparring.. I still don't know why that girl comes over, she's already a swordmaster of the empire, and I'm just a servant of a count family.

Other than that, I heard that Rowen ended up getting booted from the Mage's tower after he disrespected the tower master. I know the tower master isn't a good person, but Rowen really went to far with it, especially since rhe tower master taught Rowen basically everything he knew..

I'll write again soon, I need to go prepare dinner for the young lady...

17th of May, 128 Desmond Calendar

Sorry it took a while to write again, a lot happened recently. The cult decided to launch an attack again, and I had to be the one dealing with administrations.. I used my ability on the young lady 2 weeks ago, and I had to spend the next 3 days bedridden. The young lady tried nursing me back to health with some cooking, but she ended up cooking some porridge that triggered my poison resistance.. actually, my poison resistance levelled up because of it.

My lifeforce is now at 23%.. I don't think I'll make it to the winter at this rate, but because of my ability usage, the young lady's recovery is going much more smoothly. She doesn't need a cane anymore from what I can tell..

I wonder how the others will fare with my death, I wonder? Mikhael, or i guess i should call her Misa, won't be very pleased.. she only found out last year that I was the person she was looking for.. Yuria will probably be fine.. although she's much friendlier now, I'm sure she still hates my guts, so she wouldn't care too much about my life.

I'm worried about Hannah, since I know she still values me quite highly since I was the one who taught her swordsmanship back then.. the princess, she'll probably faint from the shock.. as for the young lady, well, I just hope she doesn't do anything reckless..

26th of May, 128 Desmond Calendar

For some reason, the system has been awfully quite these days.. is it because it knows I'll die soon? Or is it because things have been peaceful so far? Either way, Malik dropped by yesterday, he gave me some more free food vouchers for his restaurant. I'm sure the young lady will love them.

3rd POV, 6th of June, 128 Desmond Calendar:

The young lady's attendant could be seen walking through the capital's marketplace, buying ingredients for the young lady's meals. "..let's see, potatoes, fish.." the butler muttered. Despite their frail looking body they kept working as diligently as ever, so as not to alert the people they know. After a while, the butler finished their shopping, and stopped near a miscellaneous goods store before heading back to the estate.

"My, my~ why were you gone for so long, William?" A voice pierced through the halls as soon as the butler entered. "Apologies, lady Tasha. I had gone out to buy the ingredients for the young lady's meals today, but the marketplace was more crowded than I had expected.." William replied, taking a knee and apologising for returning late. The owner of the voice dismissed William and told him to start preparing lunch, to which William obliged and started making his way to the kitchen.

After a while, food was served and William prepared the young lady's food. The young lady stared at the food, uttered a quiet "thank you" and began eating. William did some miscellaneous tasks while the one they served was eating, and when she finished, William asked a question.

"Pardon me, lady Tasha, but may I have the rest of be day off? As you know, today is Hannah's birthday.." William asked. Although he knew that the young lady was aware of Hannah's birthday, William still had to ask out of formality. In response, Tasha waved her hand, as if saying "do as you please". William grabbed the young lady's empty plates, bowed and said "Then, please excuse me."

....

After a while, William arrived at the Histania estate. He had already become quite friendly with the guards, so when William told them he was planning on surprising Hannah, the guards and servants were more than happy to comply with his request. As he made his way through the mansion, William began to hear the sounds of someone arguing. He quickly went to the source of the sound, concealing himself as best he could while he did so. The sounds came from the Lord, Hannah's father's study.

"Why won't you just believe in me, father!? I've already joined the front lines, and even the royal family themselves have acknowledged my skill as a swordmaster! So, what else do you want!?" An angry Hannah could be heard, arguing with her father.

Hannah's father crossed his arms and spoke in a cold tone "what I want, is you, Hannah, to stop the path of the sword. You are not fit for the sword, you have no talent, and you never will. It seems I let you live the dream of being a knight for too long. Face reality. Give up on the sword, Hannah Histania."

The words Hannah's father spoke held an immense pressure. Despite that, Hannah continued to argue her case.

William continued to eavesdrop, knowing that interfering here wouldn't solve any problems. Eventually, he heard Hannah yelling out "I HATE YOU" before storming off. William followed Hannah from behind, being careful so as to not get noticed by her or the other servants I nthe estate.

Hannah continued to walk all the way to the estate's garden. She sat down on the grass, and started mumbling to herself. "I'm already good enough.." "why does he never support what I do.." "he's the same as back then.." she continued to utter. Eventually, that frustration turned into sadness, her tears moistening the grass she was sitting on.

At that point, William felt it was probably the right time to approach her. William slowly walked up to her, and Hannah flinched when she noticed someone else's presence. "WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW, DA-" she screamed, but stopped mid way and started apologising. "Sorry, I'm sorry, William, sorry I, I thought-"

William waited for her to calm down, and took a seat beside her. "It's fine" is all he said, his signature smile plastered on his face. He took a seat next to Hannah, and for a while, Hannah kept complaining about her father. "What makes him think he can make choices for me!??" "He doesn't even care!" "He got better after the duel between Misa and I, but now he's back to where he was before!"

William simply smiled bitterly as he listened to the girl's complaints. He understood why the girl felt like this, but he also knew he couldn't magically make things better. The best he could do was something similar to what he did 4 years ago.

"Are you even listening?" Hannah asked, stopping her rant momentarily and eyeing him, suspicious of his silence. William replied with a simple "yes, I am." to which Hannah continued ranting. Eventually, Hannah tired herself out from the crying and frustration. She fell asleep, William turning into her pillow.

...

Hannah woke up, she saw a familiar ceiling. She was in her own bedroom. 'wasn't I in the estate's garden?' she thought to herself. "Miss Hannah, may I come in?" She could hear her attendant knocking on the door. Hannah told them to come in, and immediately the attendant rushed over to Hannah.

"Oh thank goodness. Miss, are you alright? William brought you here a few hours ago. He said you fell asleep dur to exhaustion, so everyone in the mansion has been worried!" the attendant said. Hannah made a hand gesture to dismiss any concerns. 'what I'm really concerned about is William's health.. he looked paler than usual' Hannah thought. She peered her view to a box on her nightstand "What is that?" Hannah asked.

"Oh, William left it here earlier. He said to let Miss Hannah open it" the attendant said, bowing her head. "I have confirmed your condition. I shall take my leave, Miss." The attendant straightened her back and left the room. As the attendant left, Hannah's gaze was fixed on the box. She shuffled around her bed and took the box, carefully inspecting its design.

"The design is immaculate.." she muttered as she opened the box. Inside revealed a pair of earrings, as well as a note. The handwriting was quite messy, so she could tell it was William's own handwriting and giggled.

The note read:

「To: Miss Hannah Histania

Happy birthday, Miss Hannah. I apologise if my penmanship is not as stable as it would be, as I had to make this note quite last minute. In truth, I did not know what to get you for your birthday, hence I opted to purchase something that I thought would suit you. Other than that, I hope that you will continue to strive towards your goals, and to not give up, no matter what anyone says. Even if there are those who do not believe in you, you may think of me, the one who taught you the sword, and know that I have complete confidence in your skills.

-William」

*drip* *drip*

Tears welled up in the girl's eyes again. 'Master.. you really..' Hannah thought. It was just an insignificant note, but to Hannah, those words had a bigger impact than most. She wiped her tears and grabbed the earrings inside the box. They were shaped like a diamond, and shone a breathtaking emerald green, matching Hannah's eyes. 'just how much did that idiot spend on these..' Hannah thought.

After a while, her tears stopped, and she put the box back on her nightstand. She was happy, even if her father didn't remember her birthday, at least someone would. She reminisced on the past, and renewed her vow to repay William for all the good he's done for her throughout the years. Hannah went back to bed, her memories lingering, and the worry for William's health slowly being buried under all the moments they've shared.

7th of August, 128 Desmond Calendar:

Looks like it's almost time.. I have oneore use left of my ability, and then I'll be gone from this world. The young lady will make a full recovery, and I'll be able to pass on without regrets.. I still feel bad that the people I know will probably mourn my death, but it is for the sake of the young lady. This will be my last entry. Thank you for serving as my journal for the past 19 years.

William POV, 16th of August, 128 Desmond Calendar:

"Just one more day left.." I sighed as I looked at my status screen.

______________________________

[Name: William]

[Age; 27]

[Race; Human]

[Agility; 987]

[Strength: 1838]

[Stamina: 2789]

[Vitality: Weak, 13% (A fading flame, such weak vitality may be lethal)]

[Abilities: {Lightning Attribute magic lvl8} {Cooking lvl17} {Baking lvl17} {Chore Handling lvl9} {Stone Faced (passive)} +17 others]

______________________________

'I never thought I'd die in my 20s again..' I thought to myself. Tomorrow, I'll be using the last of my lifeforce on Tasha's recovery. The system has been quiet since last year.. I guess things really will end well, even after I use up all my-

*Ding*

______________________________

[Urgent Quest]

[A foolish butler is soon doomed to eternal nothingness after sacrificing all they have to save the person they serve]

[Quest conditions: Do not use the regeneration ability anymore]

[Clear reward: Anything within the limits of the system]

[Failure: Death]

______________________________

"what the.." I said. The system has been quiet all this time, and now it's telling me to not use my ability?? 'then, system, can the reward be used to completely recover Tasha's health?' I asked in my mind. Although the system doesn't usually answer my questions, I had a hunch hey would be more lenient this time. The system window disappeared, and after a few minutes, it came back.

______________________________

[It is not possible. Interferes with causality.]

______________________________

'Then I'm afraid I will have to fail this quest, system.' I answered, and quickly asked for a leave of absense for today. It is my final day, so I would at least like to say my goodbyes. First, I headed over to various places, talking to them for a bit before thanking them all for the friendship we have built up thus far. Luckily, although they found it odd, nobody tried to question me further.. I didn't plan on visiting Hannah, I had done so the day before, and I hope I could delay the news of my death to her as much as possible because of her familial issues.

I returned back to the mansion, prepared dinner for Tasha, and went back to my living quarters after washing the plates. I took a seat on the chair and looked around the room. I saw my journal, which I hadn't used for about a week.. 'i wonder if I should burn that thing.. it would cause a ruckus if it was discovered post-death.' I thought to myself. After some contemplating, I decided to keep it, since I wanted to leave some trace of my existence.. 'I looked at the calendar, letting out a dry laugh as i saw the date. "To make it worse, tomorrow's the anniversary of when I met the young lady." I said to myself. I got up from the chair and made my way to the mirror.

My once vibrant red hair has lost some colour, and my once muscly body deflated, leaving on slender skin, the outlines of bones visible.. 'I tried to cover it up as best I could, hopefully nobody noticed it.' after that, I got on my bed, steeling my resolve once more for tomorrow..

3rd POV, 17th of August, 128 Desmond Calendar:

William woke up earlier than usual and started to prepare breakfast. William paid closer attention to the food he made today, making sure that everything was more precise that it already was, and making extra portion and dishes. By the time he finished, it was already time to wake the young lady up. He cast some presentation magic to keep the food from going cold, and went to Tasha's room.

-Miss, breakfast is ready.

No response.

-Miss?

No response.

-Miss, if you do not respond, then I will have to intrude.

No response.

William grabbed the door handle, wincing a little as he did so, and opened the door. As the door opened, William scanned the room, searching for the young lady. "Miss?" William asked once more, but all he could hear was deafening silence.

Unbeknownst to William, Tasha had already gotten up a few minutes before William went to wake her and had been hiding, trying to surprise him. She suddenly appeared behind William, throwing chocolates at him while yelling "CHOCOLATE!".

"Oh, thank Arteria. Miss, you shouldn't sneak out like that, you will worry everyone." William said, picking up the chocolates that Tasha had thrown at him. "Hehe" was all that Tasha said, and William responded with his usual smile.

And so, the day passed by in a flash, mostly with Tasha dragging William around for a stroll in the capital. They visited quite a few clothing stores, artifact shops, and even visited the local market as well as the theatre. Since Tasha's legs were recovering well, she didn't need to be sitting on a wheelchairs which meant that she had much more freedom than before. As the day was approaching its end, the two made their way back to the estate.

"Miss, are you certain you would not prefer to walk? It would be good practice for the Miss as well." William suggested. Currently, he was giving Tasha a piggyback ride. William didn't mind, he suggested it because he genuinely thought it would be good for her rehabilitation.

"What? Am I too heavy~?" Tasha asked, a playful tone evident in her voice. William, without skipping a beat, replied "The Miss seems to have gained weight. Is it perhaps due to the chocolate?"

Tasha then proceeded to smack him in the head, earning an "ouch" from the butler. Then she slumped, resting her head on William's left shoulder. "Today marks the day I hired you into the family.." Tasha trailed off. "Indeed it is, Miss. It has been 20 years since then." William answered.

The two reminisced about the past, laughing and smiling as each memory was dug up. Eventually, the laughter died down, and Tasha slumped again. In a small voice, she said "Th, Thank you, William." William, confused, asked what she meant.

"You know, for staying with me for so long.. I know that back then, I was a fool. I did.. a lot of things, and I forced you to do many thing as well.." William slowed down his pace slightly, as if to tell her to take her time. Tasha caught her breath, poring her next words.

"And, for that time when I decided to use black magic. I'm really.. sorry. You could've died, but you still took the risk for my sake. Despite that, Instead of thanking you, I resented you. I to,told you to disappear.." Tears streamed down Tasha's face as she continued. "Even af,after all that.. you still stayed by m,my si,side.. an,an,and..!" Tasha continued her words. As she continued to sob and speak, William stayed quiet, instead patting her head slowly.

William considered her words. Although it was true that her personality back then was arguably the worst, it was also true William didn't blame her for it, and that he had forgiven her. 'Even so, you are the apple of my eye, Miss.' William thought. Although the past Tasha, consumed by madness over her unrequited love, was quite a handful to deal with, he would never leave herm he owed a debt to Tasha, one where he would gladly die in her stead if given the opportunity.

Eventually, they reached the estate. The young lad yhad tired herself out from crying, and was asleep on William's back. Faint whispers of "I'm sorry.." escaped the young lady's mouth as William signaled for the gatekeeper. Inside the estate, William carefully made his way to the young lady's room, gently laying her on the bed so as not to wake her.

William cast some silencing magic around the young lady's room. "I'm sorry as well, Miss. I have forgiven everything you do, and although this is for the best, my heart still tinges with sorrow at the thought that my departure will make you upset.." William slowly made his way to the pen and quill that lay on Tasha's nightstand. He wrote something, and then made his way to the young lady who was still asleep.

______________________________

[Confirm usage of {Restoration}?]

[Yes] [No]

______________________________

'Yes'

______________________________

[WARNING: INSUFFICIENT LIFEFORCE]

[Usage of ability will lead to certain death]

[WARNING: QUEST REMINDER]

[You will fail the quest if you proceed]

[Do you still wish to use {Restoration}?]

[Yes] [No]

______________________________

'Yes'

______________________________

[...]

[Very well]

______________________________

Instantly, a surge of energy started pulsating through William's body. Multiple blue screens flashed before his eyes with each passing second.

______________________________

[Notice: Quest Failed]

[Commencing Penalty: Death]

______________________________

______________________________

[{Restoration} is being used]

[Target: Tasha Clarita]

[Lifeforce is being absorbed]

______________________________

______________________________

[Limit-breaking resists death]

[Limit-breaking resists death]

[Limit-breaking resists death]

[Limit-breaking resists death]

[Limit-breaking resists death]

[Limit-breaking slightly resists death]

[WARNING: YOU WILL DIE IN 4 MINUTES]

______________________________

As the messages kept flooding his vision, William could feel the last bits of his vitality leaving him. He felt the blood well up in his throat, causing him to cough it out uncontrollably. 'ah, this is it..' he thought. He knew he would die in a few minutes. Although limit breaking could resist it, it wasn't strong enough to ignore causality.

Soon, his senses deteriorated. First it was his sense of touch, then smell, even his vision was getting blurry. 'This must be the Goddess' last ploy against me. To make me watch the system until my last breath..' William thought. He couldn't even move his mouth anymore. No, maybe he was, but he couldn't feel the movement. As he closed his eyes, he heard a sound. It was faint, and sounded distant, but he could recognise the sound of the system, but he couldn't see anymore. His eyes has decayed out of their sockets, after all. 'At least everything will turn to ash, so there won't be any bloodstains either.'

______________________________

[Why?]

[Why did it have to be you?]

______________________________

With that, William's life ended. Just like the remaining embers of a fire during a storm, it was extinguished. Maybe if his body was still there, he would've had a satisfied expression , but all that remained was a pile of ash, soon to be swept away by the wind coming from outside Tasha's room, and a note on Tasha's bedside.

3rd POV, 18th of August, 128 Desmond Calendar:

Hannah made her way through the not-so-busy streets of the capital. She seemed to be in quite the rush. She planned on visiting William. "He's been acting strange lately.. and since last year, his physical condition's only worsened.." she said to herself. Hannah had her suspicions, but, naively, she swept it under the rug until a few days ago. How could she not be on guard when someone visits her a few days prior and suddenly talks about being grateful for the friendship they had? Above all, she had a bad feeling, so when she woke up, she quickly got ready and set out for the Clarita estate.

When she arrived, there was a carriage outside the gates. 'Weird..' she thought. The carriages would normally be inside of the estate not outside. Hannah also noted that the emblem on the carriage belonged to the 'Greyhounder' family as she made her way in. She made her way through the halls and stood in front of a door, a sign hanging above it.

(William's room, please knock before entering. If I do not respond, check the young lady's room)

"Master, it is Hannah..." She asked. After no response, she knocked a bit, and headed to Tasha's room. As she made her way there, she stopped when she saw Tasha in the dining hall.

"Tasha.." she called out. The girl is question snapped her head to the voice and responded with a nod.

"Have you seen Master? I'm looking for him." Hannah asked. "I'm not sure, but he left this note on my nightstand.. he said was going to go somewhere pretty far." Tasha responded, a sour expressing forming. "I see." Hannah said. She took a seat on the dining table as if it were natural, and slowly began opening her mouth.

"Say, Tasha.. have you noticed anything odd about Master?" She asked, a glint of worry in her eyes. Tasha tilted her head and made an expression as if she couldn't understand. Seeing the confusion on Tasha's face, Hannah sighed and continued. "These past few months, he hasn't visited much. Of course, I am sure, he is busy with his duties as your.. personal attendant, but something is off. Are you sure you don't know anything? Like..." Tasha listened intently as Hannah kept drawing out her concerns. From physical changes such as his skin being pale at times, to the slight loss of pigment in his hair, and other things that Hannah had noticed.

".. there's also this-" Hannah was cut off by Tasha's interruption. "Now that I think about it, William always tried to hide his eyes from me since a few months ago. And sometimes when he carries me, he felt.. cold."

As the two kept exchanging information, a figure donning the Greyhounder emblem could be seen making their way from the Patriarch's room to the dining hall where Tasha and Hannah were in. The air surrounding the figure was calm enough to put a barking chihuahua to sleep.

Hannah, with her heightened senses, first detected the approaching presence and directed her gaze towards the hallway. "I knew it.." she uttered.

"Tasha, where in the name of the Goddess is William?" The figure asked. "He said he would be going for a while. What are you doing here, Yuria? I thought we agreed not to interfere with each other." Tasha answered, her tone slightly condescending.

"Well, Lady Tasha, I came here because I had time, and I wanted to check up on William. I did see him a few days ago, but he left not even five minutes after he arrived. I have quite a few things to talk about with him." The Greyhounder, Yuria, said.

Yuria glared at Tasha, and Tasha merely stared back, a doll-like smile forming on her face. Feeling the tension, Hannah cut in between them and told them to focus on finding William first. The two reluctantly agreed, and started to brainstorm.

3rd POV, 27th of September, 128 Desmond Calendar:

About a month and a half had passed since William's leave, and people were getting anxious. Just last week, Hannah went on an expedition to try and find him, but came back empty handed. It wasn't uncommon for her to be separated from William for that long, so it didn't weigh heavily on her. That is, until she recently had quite the intrusive thought pop up.

'What if he's dead?' the voices asked. At first, she denied it, reasoning that William wouldn't die so easily, but the voices only came back, stronger and sharper.

'He was weak. You saw his physical condition.'

'With such a body, he could die to even a goblin.'

'What if he left to die in some quiet place?'

Such thoughts slowly dug away at her mentality, and that's what led her to start her expedition.

Things went the opposite direction for Yuria. William was her benefactor, and she still wanted to ensure that she would pay him back properly for all the times he had saved her. At first, the fire in her was fierce, and she mobilised what forces she could to track, scout, gather information, the whole nine yards. However, nothing came up despite all the efforts she put in. Eventually, the voices also started to knock on her mind.

'He abandoned you all.'

'It's about time he leaves, right? You've done nothing for him. He must've grown tired of seeing you.'

'is this all you can do? Really? Some saintess you are.'

And Tasha.. well, given her personality, she trusts that William will come back, and is deluding herself by telling herself that he will be back soon. 'I'm going to make William buy me tons of chocolate for making me wait this long hehe.'

______________________________

[Quest Created: Decisions]

[Many people tend to be blind. Of course, they have eyes, but they often miss what is right in front of them. Whether it be someone else's pain, love and even anger. You have failed to see "William" and the extent of what he had done.]

[Quest Conditions: You will soon be given a choice. Make the correct one.]

[Quest Reward: Access to a portion of <Side Story 5: In The End, Did It Matter?>]

[Failure Penalty: -

[Special Note: this is a "unique" quest. Only one person may clear this quest.]

[Participants: "Yuria Greyhounder", "Hannah Histania", "Tasha Clarita" ]

______________________________

3rd POV, 4th of March, 129 Desmond Calendar:

After months, the person who got the quest reward is Tasha. She waited until nightfall, and as she ly on her bed, she told the system 'do it.' and so her vision began to blur, her scenery changed as a panorama of memories were shot into her. By the time she had finished, the sun had risen, and Tasha had red eyes, moist with tears. She didn't want to accept it. What she saw in those few hours.. she didn't want to believe any of it, but she couldn't deny it. She knew, at a subconscious level, that this was real, and that William was gone.

"I see now.." she said. She grabbed one of the needles she had on her nightstand, and stabber her palm with it, grabbing the blooan writing grotesquely magical symbols on her wall.

'I'm sorry, William. You said you didn't want me to use this kind of magic again, but you're not here to scold me right now. I'll see you soon, William.' and with that, Tasha's lips curled up, a smile that had accepted everything in its path, followed by everything being covered in a black, viscous light, and eventually, Tasha had disappeared as well, the only evidence of her existence was a messy embroidery kit, and a piece of fabric with the words

「I hate you, Goddess.」

A/N: Hello guys, I'm the author. The purpose of this note is just for some loredumping in case you all are curious about a few things.

The title of the book "In The End, Did My Decision Matter?" Was based on the "original" plot, so to speak. Originally, Tasha would have died, succumbing to the urges of using black magic in an atrempt to save her unrequited love, but failing and dying in the progress. However, William has stopped that, and as a result, Tasha had only suffered from paralysis from the waist down because her nerves were burnt to a crisp as a result of the failed black magic.

William, in the process of saving Tasha from the black magic, had unlocked the ability to reconnect the nerves, albeit slowly, and each time he used it, it would drain away his "Vitality" or "Lifespan". William found a workaround so that he could've stayed alive despite using up all his Vitality, but I wante stop make an unofficial side story, with characters based on what i remember, where William doesn't find a way and, instead, perishes after using the last of his Vitality so that Tasha could make a full recovery.