"Jo, it's time for school."

Ignoring my twin, I study myself in the mirror. An oversized sweatshirt and leggings. The faint remains of the mark Beau left on my neck hidden by concealer. I look like I have nothing going for me. It matches how I feel.

New year. New semester of school. No new me. Just the same, disappointing Jovie.

Gentry knocks twice on my door before peaking his head in. "Mom made breakfast." Silently, I grab my bag and head for the door. He grabs my arm and I jump back. "Are you okay?"

"Fine." I force the word out, avoiding his eyes as I go downstairs.

The kitchen smells amazing. Bacon and pancakes cause my stomach to growl in hunger.

"Morning, Darling." Mom smiles, offering a plate.

"I'm not hungry." I mutter, kissing her cheek as I reach for an apple. I can stomach a couple bites of this.

My brothers share a look. Any other day, I would slap the back of their heads and tell them to knock it off. Any other day, I would have the energy to do so, but not today.

Stabbing my nails through the skin of my apple, I listen to the sound of forks scrapping against plates. The unsaid questions my family are dying to ask keep me occupied.

Gentry's phone gets a text and he stands up. "Aspen's here."

When I don't go to leave, Garner snaps his fingers in front of my face. "Earth to Jo."

"I'm getting a different ride to school." I move his hand away.

"With who?" Gentry snorts. "Beau?"

My heart rate picks up and juice leaks onto my hand as I suffocate my apple. "No, we broke up."

"What?" Garner demands, walking back into the house.

"When?" Gentry asks.

"Last week."

The genuine surprise that flashes across their faces makes me feel bad. I guess I could've mentioned it.

"Then who's picking you up?" Mom asks.

"Jay." I focus back on my apple.

The sound of fading footsteps and the closing door let me know my brothers have left. Beginning to relax, I tense when a hand rests on my shoulder. "Do you want to talk about Beau?"

"No." I gulp.

"What happened?" Mom pulls my hair out of my face.

"It-it was mutual." I stutter. "We both knew it wasn't working. No reason in beating a dead horse."

Risking a glance, I check to see if she buys my story. Pursing her lips together, she nods slowly. "If you're okay then I'm glad." I manage an awkward shoulder shrug. "You are?"

"Am what?"

"Okay." She states.

My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth and I panic. Even my own mind won't let me lie to her. Before I can give in to my crumbling will, a horn blasts from outside. Jumping up, I grab my bag. "Jay's here. Love you. Bye."

Grabbing the door, I think I'm home free. "Jovie." Oh, no. "Please eat an apple."

"Jay brought breakfast." I lie, slamming the door shut behind me.

Running to the car, the sound of an engine starting pulls my attention. Without thinking, I look over to find Beau glaring at me from his jeep. Revving his engine. One second, I'm panicking. The next, my vision goes green as I faceplate into the ground.

"Fuck." I grunt, scrambling back onto my feet and into Jay's car. His eyes follow me like a ghost.

The ride is silent while I pick the grass out of my hair. So much for the new year being better.

"I'd ask how you are but I have a feeling I already know." He offers as hello.

"Whatever you're imagining, multiply that by 5." I yawn, curling into a ball.

"Did you tell anyone about what happened?" He asks, carefully eyeing me as he makes a right turn.

"No." I squeeze my legs.

"Jovie, why?" He demands. "That scum bag tried to–"

"I know what he tried." I snap. "I don't want to talk about it. It's in the past and I want to leave it there."

I want nothing more than to forget that night ever happened. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't look at myself in the mirror. I feel... ruined.

"Still..." He starts, unsure on how to proceed. "The guys should know."

"No, they shouldn't." My stomach churns at the thought. "No one knows but you."

"Jo, then he's not going away." He says softly, grabbing my hand.

"I know." I nod. "I can handle trying to avoid him in the hall. I can handle everyone still tolerating his presence because they don't know any better. I can't handle–" My voice cracks. "I can't handle being passed around like some broken object. I know how everyone can be. I'm not putting myself through that."

If I'm treated with care, I might shatter into a million pieces.

Parking in the senior lot, arms wrap around me. Reminding myself it's just Jay, I hug him back. "It's okay, Jo. I promise."

Once I feel like I've gotten my shit together, we get out. Gentry and AJ are in the middle of a conversation but I don't focus on them. My attention goes to the boy watching me with careful eyes.

Aspen sees right through me.

"Hey, guys." Beau calls out. Shoving his hands into his pockets as he leans against Aspen's truck. This is it. He's going to out me right here. "Jo and I broke up. I hope that's not an issue."

"That depends." Gentry spits on the ground. "Why'd you break up?"

He smirks, hazel eyes scan my body before settling on my face. "It was a mutual decision, right?"

My knees feel weak. This is so much worse. "Right."

My twin cracks his knuckles, clearly upset he didn't get to use his fists to avenge my honor. Part of me wants to laugh. If only he knew he has every right to go apeshit, even though I have no honor to defend. He wouldn't care.

Turning around, I dart inside. Almost running in front of a car in the process. Hiding in the bathroom, I hold my head between my knees and try to breathe.

*****

It's easy to forget how unimportant I am. No one tries to talk to me in class. No one stops and asks if I'm okay. I practically scream basket case, but no one cares and neither do I.

Going to Stats, I grab the worksheet from our sub and head to my desk in the back. Putting in ear buds, my phone dies before I can even open my playlist. Holding back a well needed scream, I focus on my sheet.

"Happy New Year, Jojo." Aspen takes his seat beside me.

Ignoring him, I try to focus on the work.

He scoots closer. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I assure him.

"Can you tell me the truth?"

"I'm fine." I repeat, circling a random answer. If I act like I'm working, he'll leave me alone.

"Jojo, you are anything but fine." He starts.

My pencil led snaps and I slam it down. "I said I'm fine. Do you want to believe me or are you going to force an answer out of me just to decide I need to figure it out on my own?"

Hurt flashes across his face. "You know that's not what I meant."

"Clearly, you did." I rummage through my bag for a new pencil. "Now let me work in peace. Some of us actually need to get good grades."

Pursing his lips, he leans back and leaves me alone. The victory doesn't feel as sweet as I thought it would.

I spend study hall alone. Hiding out from my friends as they sit at our usual table in the library. I can hear everything they say, but I'm secluded by the stacks of books around the librarian's desk. Gentry texts, asking where I am and I fake a stomachache.

No need in worrying him. I prefer an oblivious twin to a worried twin.

The bell rings and I hide underneath the desk as they walk by. Once I'm in the clear, I sneak out to the bathroom. Holding my pee for an hour was a bad idea. I avoid my reflection in the mirror as I wash my hands. I don't even think Bloody Marry would pop out to scare me. I'd probably horrify her.

Peaking my head out, I think to coast is clear to return to my safety of the library. Opening the door, I'm cut off.

"Jo, lunch is the other way." Seth smiles, walking out of the library.

"Oh, I'm not eating today." I offer. The mere thought of food makes me queasy.

His lips pout into a frown. "But... you promised to help me with geometry."

"I did?" I did. Damn stupid Jovie for agreeing with the thought the new year would be better. He nods, trying to grab my hand and I jump back. "Look, Sethers, I have a last minute college application to finish."

"Where to?"

"You know, a college." My couch university.

"Okay, I'll sit with you."

"I want to do it alone." I snap before catching myself. "I just need some time alone, Sethers. I'll eat lunch with you tomorrow." A lie but it makes up for how I'm acting.

Reluctantly, he nods. "I'll see you later."

"Sounds good." Better later than never. Right?

*****

I've managed to go all day without running into the one person I'm avoiding more than Beau. Peyton. I was purposely late to first so I could grab my books and then during lunch, I changed them out for my last few classes.

Now it's time to leave.

Waiting for the usual rush to die down, I peak my head around the corner. There's a couple making out by the door and a teacher making a mad dash for her car. Other than that, it's clear.

Putting my books up, I'm distracted by a picture stuck to my locker. Aspen, Gentry and I at the beach last summer. Steve and Lena always take us on vacation with them. Gentry and I were sunburned like no other, but of course Aspen was fine. In the picture, we're hugging. I'm able to ignore my brother and just focus on us.

The picture has a line where it use to be folded down.

The rare warmth that filled me disappears as my focus shifts to the note I hung below it.

Cutie, sorry for being an ass. Hopefully this makes you smile.

Reaching into my locker, I shred the note into a million little pieces. Nothing about Beau Ellington makes me smile.

Slamming my locker door shut, I come face to face with Peyton.

"Oh." She squeaks, letting her hair cover half her face. "I-I-I was just..."

"Have at it." I snap, spinning on my heel to walk away.

"Jovie, wait!" Her voice echoes through the empty hall.

"What do you possibly have to say?" I demand. She made her feelings crystal clear at the cabin. Why rub salt in a wound?

"I just want to talk." She shoulders her bag. "Please.

"Nope, I'd hate for you to blame me if your locker doesn't open." I shrug, walking outside.

Heaven forbid, I do anything else to her.

*****

All week, I've managed to stay by myself.

It's similar to how life was when I avoided the group when Aspen was still dating Meredith. The only issue, back then I had someone to sit with. Now I have no one and it's becoming really difficult to avoid Seth in the hall.

I'm beginning to understand everyone's complaints.

"Jo!" He calls out just before I'm in the safety of my Stats class.

Contemplating the idea of ignoring him, I turn around. "Hey, Sethers."

He smiles down at me, holding out a paper bag. "Today is Maya's birthday so I stopped at that cafe you like to grab her a muffin and I picked you up one too."

"Oh." I peak inside to find a vegan double chocolate muffin and my stomach growls. I take it back, I love Seth. "Thanks."

"No problem." He hugs me as the bell rings before running off.

In a daze, I wander into class and sit down after grabbing the worksheet of the day. Opening the bag up, the smell of chocolate makes my mouth water. It's been a horrible week, maybe this is a sign today will be better.

"Morning." Aspen offers, sitting beside me.

Ignoring him, I focus on my food. Pinching off a piece, I drop it in my mouth and almost immediately spit it out. It tastes like ash on my tongue. "Oh, God."

Chugging water, I scrape me tongue. Gross.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"Taste it." I hand it over and he takes a bite.

"It's perfectly fine." He licks his fingers. "Eat it."

Eyeing the muffin, I shove it closer to him. "Have it. I don't want it."

"Jovie, you have to eat." He states.

"I had an apple for breakfast." I lie. I had a bite so mom could relax.

"Take one more bite and actually swallow it." He pushes.

Ignoring him, I focus on my worksheet. Halfway through question two, the muffin covers up the equation. Not in the mood for his nagging, I raise my hand. "Mr. Anderson, can I go to the restroom."

Not bothering to look up from his laptop, he lets out a grunt and waves me off. Assuming that's a yes, I try to calmly exit the room.

I make it about fifty feet before I'm pinned against a locker. My heart lurches into my throat. "Get off of me."

The pressure eases, "Easy, Jojo, it's me." Emerald eyes stare into mine. "Please talk to me."

"Why?"

"Because you look like you haven't eaten in a week or showered for that matter. You're avoiding everyone but Jay. Whenever anyone even mentions the name Beau you freakout." I clench my jaw shut. "See, like that."

Damn it. Schooling my face into a neutral expression, I shrug. "I ate chicken noodle soup for dinner last night."

"What have you eaten today?"

"An apple."

Sighing, he rubs his temples. "What happened with B– him? Did he react badly to the truth? Did he do something to you?"

"He did nothing." I offer, my heart pounding in my ears. He's too close to the truth. "We agreed to part on decent terms."

"Don't lie to me, Jojo." He whispers, leaning in. "Whatever happened, it's destroying you. Tell me or Gentry or anyone. Don't do this alone."

"I did." I look at him. "I told Jay and if he's not hovering over me then you shouldn't either. Now excuse me, I have to piss."

Shoving by him and the hurt on his face, I make it to the bathroom and lock the door. Why does he have to push me? I'm fine and I absolutely do not need his help. This is why we fight. He doesn't leave me alone when I need it the most.

Cold water runs over my wrists as I calm myself down. I look fine. A little rough but that's expected. I put effort into my look when I had a boyfriend. Now I'm just reverting to my natural state.

I'm fine.

*****

"Jo!" Echoes through the parkingklot at the end of the day. Stopping, I glare at the people who complain and wait for my younger brother to catch up.

Garner and Houston double over, panting in front of me. "Yes."

Stealing my water, my brother downs it. "Can we go to the mall?"

"Where did you two run from?" I demand. This is pathetic.

"Sophomore parking lot." Houston motions to the farthest parking lot.

"Why?"

"Because Seth is taking us."

"I thought you two couldn't stand Seth." I raise a brow.

"We can't." Garner shrugs. "But he has a car."

"And introduces us to Sophomore girls." Houston adds as my brother hits him.

"Okay then." I smile for the first time all week. "Have fun. Tell the guys. Give Seth my usual don't crash or I'll kill you speech."

"Awesome." They grin before running off.

"Please behave!" I call after them.

Watching them go, I shake my head. Freshman are pleased by the easiest things. A car honks and I move out of the way. Bumping into the last person I want to see.

"Easy there, Cutie." Beau steadies me.

"What do you want?" I demand, jumping away from him. My arm stings from where he touched me. The lingering bruises on my sides throb in anticipation.

"To talk." He says nonchalantly.

"I should get going." I try to go and he grabs me.

"Jay can wait. I'm sure you two did enough while we were still together to make up for the lost time." He sneers.

My fight dies out as he moves closer. Stay calm, we're in public. Nothing bad can happen.

"You're little disappearing act is making it really hard for me." He says. "Everyone is worried about you. Jay won't stop glaring at me. Now even Aspen is targeting me. I don't like it."

"Then find new friends."

I flinch as his grip tightens just a smidge. "I like my friends. That's why you need to stop your poor little act. I didn't do anything to you."

"I have bruises that suggest otherwise."

"Nothing happened." His eyes narrow into slits. "You, however, cheated on me. Maybe that's something they should know."

The crumbs from todays muffin threaten to come back up. "No."

"Then stop acting like you were the one who was cheated on. Get over it before I give everyone a reason to like me." He whispers in my ear. "Got it?"

It's too much. My skin burns. My lungs are empty. My heart feels like it's going to explode. Managing a nod of my head, I gulp. "Got it."

A horn honks and I turn to find Jay waiting for me. "Jo, everything all right?"

"Just talking." Beau lets go of me; shoving his hands in his pockets. "Cool your jets."

Jay glares at him and I force a smile. Getting into the car, I buckle up and close the window. "Let's go home."

*****

Ahh, this hurts my guys. She's hurting so deeply.

But, despite all the current pain, I'm excited for the chapters to come!

LiL is out! I'm still working on LiH. It might be late tonight or tomorrow before it's out! It's Father's Day, I got to spend some time with my dad!