It's a smut

*****

The light of day greeted Yeosang while he was still snuggled tight against San's chest. Their legs had found their way to each other during the night, and they had interwoven to the point of Yeosang not being sure anymore where one of them began and where the other one ended. Both of them were wrapped in a lovely bubble of cosy heat that their bodies had accumulated overnight. Now that Yeosang got aware of it, it even felt too hot for him.

With a slight groan and without taking his arm from San's waist that he must have hugged in his sleep, Yeosang kicked off one corner of their blanket. He was careful not to expose San to the colder room temperature. Since the man was still lost in the land of dreams and his face was relaxed, Yeosang didn't want to bother him.

Yeosang himself remained uncomfortable, however. He couldn't deny the strain a somewhat familiar hardness in his pants. His last sleep cycle had probably ended not too long ago, and his blood had yet to settle down. Yeosang blushed when he gained full awareness of just how tightly his crotch was pressed against San's. Sometime during the night, their bodies must have aligned instinctively with each other. With his face hot, Yeosang attempted to will his interested arousal down before San would wake.

Yeosang's thoughts drifted to social injustice, political ploys, and cruel mass murder to distract himself. While he eyed San's face up and down to appreciate the soft undertones in his usually so sharp and attractive features, the noises of Qam outside gradually started to filter through the window. The village awoke with high spirits and the usual carefree and fun-loving energy that Yeosang had learnt to appreciate so much about this place.

San roused a while after from the swell of voices outside. With the merchants in front of the window bellowing their prices left and right, there wasn't much possibility to sleep. After a first discontent whine, he buried his head in Yeosang's chest.

Cooing, Yeosang brushed his hair from his forehead. It was soft to the touch, if not as silky as Jongho's. The structure was also choppier.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty."

With a giggle, San turned his head to smile cutely at Yeosang. His eyes disappeared into little crescents.

"Me, a sleeping beauty? Oh, birdie, you are too adorable for me to handle." He surged up in a sweet kiss. Yeosang made exaggerated groaning noises when San covered his whole face in tiny kisses. The treatment was devastating in itself, but even then, Yeosang's mind strayed.

What would it be like to wake up in Jongho's arms? Would Jongho hold him tight even once they both awoke? Would he share kisses before he went off to look cool and confident? Jongho had soft sides to him, how much else would he treat a lover if he had one?

Yeosang wondered once more if Jongho had ever had a lover. What were they like? What type of people did Jongho like?

San shifted to pull back from him, and finally, Yeosang's attention snapped back to his boyfriend. With a smile, he pressed another kiss to San's pouty lips. The man had worn a sleeveless top to sleep, and his toned arms left, and right of Yeosang's head didn't fit the general tender image. Nonetheless, Yeosang revelled in the excitement in his stomach that filled him whenever he was near San. It always had him feel nauseous, too, but mostly happy.

"Don't ever think that you aren't beautiful. Always."

With a dreamy sigh, San blinked at him. They kissed again, their touches getting more lingering every time. Yeosang nearly fell asleep from how languid, and patient San's kisses were.

Then, San hesitated. He disconnected their lips to lean his forehead against Yeosang's. Both of them breathed deeply.

"Yeosang... Your weapon. Do you need help unloading it? Not wanting to pressure you, I just want to offer."

Yeosang had been foolish to hope he wouldn't notice. Of course, with the way their bodies were pressed together, there was no way that San could overlook something as obvious as that.

Unsure, he looked between San's eyes. He found loyalty and devotion there, nothing akin to ulterior motives or odd thoughts. It was the sweetest expression any lover could dream of. Yeosang found himself melting off even when his stomach churned with nervousness.

Coy, he wrapped his arms around San's neck. He hid from him behind his hair, but his voice was stable when he spoke.

"Please. I would appreciate some help."

San showed off his dimples in the calming grin Yeosang adored so much. He dropped another kiss on Yeosang's lips before he gradually kissed over his jaw and neck. His every touch was gentle as he mapped out Yeosang's body with his lips and hands. This time, Yeosang didn't flinch away. He let his eyes flutter shut and trusted in San's searching hands when they travelled down his shirt. They roamed his hips to apply mild pressure that had Yeosang feel tiny and protected in the man's powerful grip.

From time to time, San glanced at Yeosang to make sure he was still on board with this idea. Whenever their eyes met over San kissing down his chest though, Yeosang couldn't agree more around the tiny moans that tumbled from his mouth.

San's lips on his stomach were soft. They left tiny marks in their wake, but every nip at Yeosang's skin was careful. Were Jongho's lips just as soft? Was Jongho the type to leave marks? If Yeosang carded his fingers through his hair like he just did with San, would he like that?

For a long moment, Yeosang blanked. He imagined Jongho kissing over his chest, Jongho's scarred fingers hooking into the waistband of his sleeping pants. Jongho Jongho Jongho.

San was just about to put his mouth in places a mouth had never been before on Yeosang when Yeosang's hand shot out. A single warning push against San's shoulder was enough for him to retreat. At once, he sat back on his haunches and took Yeosang's hand in his to hold it gently.

Yeosang fought with himself for a second. The heat in his body told him to return right back where they were and to appreciate San's godlike body underneath his fingers. But he couldn't. It was just too cruel even if he ached to help when he glanced at the bulge in the other man's pants.

"San... I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise. There is nothing to be sorry about." With the hint of a smile curling around his lips, San lifted Yeosang's hand to his face and brushed a kiss over his knuckles. Shy, Yeosang rubbed his toes together.

"I need to verify a theory of mine but I might return with bad news. Will you await me? I might have to put our relationship into jeopardy because of Jongho."

San nodded earnestly. Nothing but care for Yeosang and patience in whatever he desired laid in his eyes. That, and a knowing glint that seemed far too calculated to be new.

"Do whatever needs to be done, we can talk afterwards."

And just like that, he let Yeosang go. He didn't stop the librarian when he marched right down the stairs and crossed the platform between the houses with long steps. Even when he threw open the door to the house the rest of his friends resided in, not an ounce of hesitation crossed Yeosang.

Mingi sat in the living room, looking alarmed.

"Jongho?"

Meek, the red-haired man, pointed his chin upstairs. A blush dusted his cheeks when he got fully aware of the status Yeosang was in. He had no time to comment, however, since Yeosang already moved on. Taking two steps at a time, he sprung up the stairs and brusquely ripped open the only door that was closed.

Jongho sat on his bed like a startled rabbit, his fingers frozen in movement. He had just reached for his gear, and now, his eyes widened at the sight of Yeosang.

"Yeosang? Do you need anything? Seonghwa isn't-"

With the rudest behaviour, Yeosang had ever seen on himself, Yeosang completely ignored his words. Instead, he came right over and never halted. Jongho squeaked confusedly when Yeosang threw a leg over his lap and planted himself there as if he belonged in this place only. No resistance came when Yeosang wrapped his hands around Jongho's neck. His fingers slid through silky and soft hair, just as he had imagined it.

Calm washed over him. Calm and a low simmering determination to reach his goal.

"Will you allow me to kiss you?"

Jongho gaped at Yeosang. His dumbstruck expression was adorable, and Yeosang yearned even more to close the gap between them.

"Yeosang- What about San? Are you alright? You look as if he-"

"Don't worry about San. Kiss?"

Completely overtasked, Jongho just nodded. And that single nod of affirmation was enough to have them crash into each other like two waves. Yeosang surged forward to catch Jongho's sweet and pouty lips with his own, and they tasted delicious. They tasted like the honeyed pastries they sold on the market, like his confident and resilient personality, and like the caring essence of his very soul. Yeosang kissed him as if he was a fallen star he had to treasure and worship.

And Jongho kissed him back.

Jongho didn't hesitate to wrap a pair of strong arms around Yeosang's middle and pull him closer on his lap as if he didn't weigh anything. His muscular thighs shifted underneath Yeosang when he adjusted to keep Yeosang where he was for a while longer. The gesture had happiness fill Yeosang's heart. Then, he completely fell into the gentle touches of Jongho's lips on his, of his gradual approach of deepening the kiss, and the way his long lashes brushed against Yeosang's cheeks when they fluttered shut.

Finally, everything felt right. Yeosang wasn't a nervous wreck anymore, he could enjoy his time and focus on the task at hand instead of letting his thoughts wander. Nothing but Jongho and how his shoulders felt underneath Yeosang's hands were important.

Yeosang didn't mind when Jongho's fingers slipped underneath his shirt by their own accord. He let himself be lifted and turned around until Jongho could place him under his body on the sheets.

Originally, Yeosang had planned to stop somewhere. Where, he wasn't sure, but he hadn't intended to let his fingers roam under Jongho's top and over his chest, prompting the man to pull off his shirt. Neither had he foreseen Jongho pushing up Yeosang's shirt to kiss over his ribs just as San had done earlier. He didn't comment on the marks, but it took no genius to know they were fresh. Jealousy wafted off him in waves, but he didn't try to compete. He left no marks upon marks to replace them or hurt Yeosang by making more or larger ones. He merely pulled them flush together until Yeosang's whole body tingled with the feeling of Jongho against him. Inside his chest, his heart nearly combusted from all the yearning and hoping that finally got resolved.

Yeosang couldn't believe how blind he had been. How, after all those months of knowing Jongho, just now everything fell into place. Desperately, he clawed and pulled at the man, needing him closer to leave not even space for a single sheet of paper between their bodies. Jongho's skin was warm and marred by occasional scars from his work, but Yeosang didn't mind. Just how fascinated Jongho's hands were on Yeosang's smooth and pale skin, Yeosang explored the other man's body with amazement.

Before Jongho pulled down Yeosang's pants with the full intention to only stop if explicitly asked to, he peered at Yeosang's face. With his eyes lidded and fire burning in his veins from the desire he had for the westsider, Yeosang nodded at him. This time, he didn't force it. He wanted anything Jongho was willing to give, and he wanted to give back ten times more.

Jongho's fingers wrapped around Yeosang careful at first as if he didn't want to startle the man. But when Yeosang just stifled a groan in his hand, Jongho got more confident. He lowered his head to sink his hot mouth down on Yeosang, too, and stars clouded the librarian's vision not only from the sensations that washed over him but also the knowledge that this was Jongho whom his heart sung for.

Yeosang's fingers tangled in Jongho's hair all over again, never urging him to anything, but needing to hold on to ground himself over the sweet pleasure that threatened to pull him away. Mindless, he stretched out one of his legs beneath Jongho as an offer. The man took it, and Yeosang nearly trembled from anticipation when Jongho's hips ground against him. The knowledge of this being Jongho instead of San Yeosang held had him far more confident and willing.

Before he could release in Jongho's mouth, Yeosang pulled the man off him. He had remembered something from a book he had read once - an adult one - and the idea popped into his head mid-moan.

"J-Jongho. Do you want to be inside me?" His voice was scratchy from misuse, but Jongho heard him. With an obscene bulging against his cheek and lips, Jongho released Yeosang's straining arousal from his lips. Immediately, Yeosang regretted the decision. In an attempt to make it better, Jongho still lazily stroked him up and down while he regarded Yeosang like a hawk. He was too much for the poor librarian to handle, all effortlessly attractive.

"Does that work?"

"Yeah... We just need uh- some oil?"

Jongho curiously tilted his head at Yeosang, but he seemed to get the idea. With a gesture for him to stay where he was, he strode out of the room.

In the distance, Yeosang could hear Mingi squeal and then a door fell shut. Amused, Yeosang kicked his pants off. It was weird for him, being aroused and on display while he waited for Jongho to return. Once the weight of the situation caught up with him, he hid behind his hands embarrassedly. He didn't want to stop, but he hadn't anticipated the awkwardness that came with this.

Jongho returned in record speed and kicked the door behind him shut. At Yeosang's hidden state, a little empathetic giggle escaped his lips. Thankfully, he didn't stall but sat down next to Yeosang to run a hand down the length of his body slowly. His appreciative fingers discovered the mounds and valleys of Yeosang with wonder. Shivering from the cold, Yeosang leaned into his warm touch.

"You're beautiful."

Albeit flattered, Yeosang blushed all the more.

"Did you bring cooking oil?"

"Yeah. Do I- just go in?"

Yeosang shook his head behind his arms. Blind, he reached out to pull Jongho closer and above him. Once his warmth was back, and Yeosang could smell his freshly washed hair again, he calmed considerably.

"No, we need to massage it with fingers first. Do you want to try it, or...?"

Neither of them had many ideas of what they were doing, so they settled for Jongho back above Yeosang and their lips meeting while Jongho cautiously felt for Yeosang.

Preparing him took them a while. Yeosang was tense and anxious about hurting himself, but Jongho took all the patience in the world to ease his fingers in slowly. In the beginning, Yeosang disliked the feeling and clung to Jongho with a frown. Soon, however, they discovered how to find pleasurable spots and what to do for him to enjoy it. After a while, Yeosang even dropped his hands to fall against the pillows behind him and whine sweetly.

"Like this? You like this, don't you?" A chuckle carried with Jongho's voice, and Yeosang wanted to kick him for it. Instead, he took his revenge by slipping his hand in Jongho's pants. That shut the man up instantly.

Both of them were distracted from the tasks at hand while constantly stilling to revel in the sensations of sweet pleasure they brought upon each other. Sometimes, Jongho snickered quietly when he noticed himself sitting without moving to lowly moan over Yeosang's ministrations in his pants. Other times, he had to thrust against Yeosang's limp hand impatiently when he got lost in pleasure.

It felt forever until Yeosang was ready to take Jongho. A sheen layer of sweat covered him by then, but his impatience and need for more fuelled him when he helped Jongho slide off his pants. As he parted Yeosang's legs to settle between them, Yeosang's embarrassment and excitement made for a melting mixture in his chest.

One more time, Jongho looked between them, checking on both of their wellbeings as Yeosang positioned them. His legs framed Jongho's hips to either side of the man so his thighs could kneel comfortably around Yeosang's bottom. When he found nothing to disagree about, he placed one hand on Yeosang's thigh to hold onto him as he guided their bodies together.

Yeosang threw his head back with a hiss when he was first entered. They had prepared him well, he wasn't in pain, but the act alone, the knowledge that he and Jongho were doing this had his mind stutter and reel like an old machine.

A few minutes later, Jongho was fully sheathed inside and lowered his body fully onto Yeosang to pepper gentle kisses all over his face. The touches lingered on his cheeks, lips, and forehead.

From then on, it was as if nature overtook both of them. Their bodies didn't need much to figure themselves out, and their instincts dictated them to move to a piece of music that countless people before them had known. Yet, it seemed as if this music, in particular, was entirely their own. It beat in tandem with their blooming hearts, and the love blossomed between them after a long time of hesitation and doubts. Yeosang knew he was lost when he gazed upon Jongho's eyes and found the world in them.

Jongho meant home; he meant family. He meant all the love that Yeosang could give.

They sealed their unspoken bond with their closeness. Neither needed to address it to read it in the other's eyes.

Yeosang had finally found closure, had found something to hold onto. His life had fallen apart but with Jongho, he had found his lighthouse that had directed him back from stormy seas.

Finally, he knew. That with Jongho by his side, Yeosang didn't have to fear.