This is an Archer crossover in season 6. I'm leaving out any bad words cause I have morals. The Ciphers are currently driving to Isis in New York in a van fitting 12 people.

"WWWAHH MOMMA MOMMA!!!" The youngest Cipher Bailey cried in her baby carrier.

"It's okay Bailey shh shh everything is alright." Brooke said to her sister then bursting into tears along with the rest of the kids.

"Be quiet or so help me I'll rip your soles from your bodies!" Bill snapped making them all fall silent in horror he sigh "Sorry I'm just stressed over the whole kidnapping of my my wife!" Bill stops the car in a ditch and goes out crying out many curses all in demon tongue then gets back in to drive.

"Woah dude." Blake said uneasy looking at his dad in fear.

"Uh Father can we have a bathroom break?" Braden asked carefully and Bill nods stopping at a gas station.

"Gross there is no way I'm peeing there!" Bonnie snipped causing Bill to snap his fingers and point at the restroom in anger "Yes father!" Bonnie said going with her siblings inside the gas station.

"Hold it together Bill!" Bill said to himself as he got gas in the van.

"Father?" Boston asked quietly "Can we have money were hungry." Bill nods giving him a $50 dollar Bill "Thank you!" He yelled going back to his siblings showing them the money.

30 minutes later

"Father we're ready to go." Brian said when the last Cipher kid strapped in.

"Good but before we go." Bill said looking around for any people watching "I'm going to need to take your powers away for awhile."

"WHAT/WHY/NO/ COME ON!" They all yelled till Bill he them a look signaling them not to argue.

"Look I don't need any of you showing off powers in front of agency workers okay! This has to be on the down low so we can find Mason." Bill said making them mutter okay so he chants some demon tongue words using them all to glow for a second as their power energy goes to Bill's hand.

"Wow call me a wheel cause I am tired! Get it?" Brett laughed tired but all the other were too drained to care.

"I feel deader than usual. I like it." Babs said as the van drove off to their destination.

In Malory's office in Isis.

"So mother what is it that you wanted us all to come in for?" Archer asked annoyed "Cause if it not seducing some hot chick to steal guns I'm not in the mood!"

"You've got one serious problem don't you Archer?" Lana said holding her baby AJ.

"Oh I have a problem at least I don't...dang it I had something!" Archer said frustrated.

"How about showing up everywhere she goes with a stupid baby!" Carol/Cheryl yelled.

"One I was called in early so I had no time to wait for a babysitter! And two shut up!" Lana yelled.

"Anyway about why are we here?" Ray asked Malory.

"Yes well this assignment is a secret to anyone besides us so before I tell you Pam has to promise not tell anyone on social media!" Malory said making everyone look at Pam who looks shocked.

"What? I don't do that anymore!"Pam defended looking around guilty.

"Well just for insurance reasons hang them all over." Malory demanded making everyone hang over there cellphones.

"Just don't look in my phone history just because not because of anything disturbing that might get me fired." Krieger said looking suspicious.

"Whatever the assignment please!" Cyril said wanting to get this or with.

"Well the assignment is.." Malory began but was cut off.

"To find my wife." Bill said walking in alone wearing his business suit making Malory, Lana, Pam, and Carol/Cheryl scream in joy.

"Oh my gosh your Bill Cipher the multi-billionaire owner of Cipher real estate and more!" Lana said looking at Bill all over seductively "You make the Loveliest homes and business models!"

"Not to mention made it on America's 100 hottest men alive magazine." Pam said touching Bill's arm feeling his muscles.

"I'm also father of 11 soon to be 12 children and married to the woman you people should be looking for." Bill said motioning the attention to his kids making a mess in the other room.

"Oh man you must really like this woman... who is?" Cyril trailed off.

"Mason Cipher-Pines married Mr.Cipher for 20yrs not much is known about her besides her love for the supernatural." Malory said showing an image on her big screen Dipper being tied up and about 5 months pregnant.

"So any info on how to get her?" Archer asked having a drink "By the way doesn't Goldy locks here looks like he can do better. Like a lot. That chick isn't even hot enough for me! And you know I go for at least average. And that body must be wrecked like who would want that!?"

"Mr.Archer with all due respect." Bill said taking his jacket then shirt exposing his tanned, well muscular and tattooed body "If you say anymore negative comments about my Pinetree I will personally kill you!" 

"Pinetree!" Archer laughed so Bill punched him in the gut making Archer double over. "Ow!"

"Well i think it's adorable Sterling." Malory said walking over to Bill putting a hand on his arm "And you may keep your shirt off I don't mind." Malory said flirting.

"The mission please!" Ray demanded "But sir please keep the shirt off I'm loving what I'm seeing." Ray winked.

"Me too." Krieger said eyeing Bill's body getting some looks for it.

"The mission is going to dock a private yacht party where apparently only those whom deem hot enough can enter. I need someone to sneak into the room Mason is in while i  distract." Bill said tapping into the big screen computer showing an image of a hot 36 year old woman with hot pink hair and lips, a pink dress and heels, and a white cape "Name: Veronica an orphan since birth also a good friend of mine."

"Wait your friend kidnapped your wife? In God's name why?" Cyril asked surprised.

"Is she like jealous that you choose Mason or her so she wants to gut her alive while her men choke the life out of her and sample her dead baby to send to you in the mail!?" Carol/Cheryl asked making the room go silent at the assumption.

"What is wrong with you seriously!?" Lana asked then looked at Bill "Sorry about her she's crazy."

"Am not Lana!" Carol/Cheryl yelled but stopped "Wait or maybe I am?"

"Well my inner demons think that's hot but right now no." Bill said typing more into the computer showing a criminal record "Veronica or what i like to call her Pyronica is infamous for burning just about anything. I've got some secrets too so I can't call authorities plus I don't want her in jail and don't kill her please." Bill finished.

"Then what are we supposed to do one of us seduce her while the other gets your wife cause I call seducing!" Pam said raising her hand.

"No! I'm going to do the distracting since she doesn't know that I know she has my wife." Bill said pulling out keys from his pocket "Were leaving in 30 minutes only the kids and Ms.Lana and Archer will come being the hottest in the room." That comment got him some hays!

"Father! Bailey needs a change!" Blaine said coming in the room with Bailey who has a Poopy diaper and the stench causes everyone to recoil at it.

"Holey dukes! What do you feed her? Damn!" Ray said as he and the others plug up their noses.

"Get her out of her!" Malory said holding her nose "God that's practically radioactive!" 

"See! This is another reason why babies are horrible monsters!" Carol/Cheryl shouted while holding her nose till Bill slapped her making her giggle "Do it again."

Later at California docks with Bill, Cipher kids, Lana, Archer, and AJ.

"Father when did Oregon get so hot in Spring?" Bell asked causing Archer and Lana to raise eyebrows while the others just sighed.

"Bell were in California not Oregon okay we were just on my private jet." Bill explained slowly handing Bailey to her and giving AJ to Brooke.

"Are you sure they can handle watching AJ?" Lana asked worried "What if something happens?"

"Don't worry I take karate!" Braden boasted doing some moves.

"And I'm great at watching over our pets at home! Especially frogs!" Boston said taking out his frog.

"And I'm literally the best babysitter well next to my mom and not to mention I'm 18 now!" Brooke said flipping her hair.

"Did you say 18?" Archer asked smirking making Lana knee him in the crotch then Brooke smacking him with her purse.

"Archer she's 18! Plus she's our client's daughter!" Lana lectured then paused "By the way how much are you paying us?"

"A Million dollars." Bill said taking a look at the yacht " It's much she stole from Mason's credit card and including how much she ticked me off! and my children can handle another baby since they spent their whole lives with babies in the house."

"Damn a million dollars no wonder mother wants this to go well." Archer said "And by the way watch out for mother you got what she wants more money and a body I mean as like a lover not her body just something she prefers to date with."

"I get it many women wanted to be with me but Pinetree is my one and only." Bill said and stopped at the deck of the boat "I'll see you kids later okay I love you guys."

"Awe we love you too!" Bonnie said as the kids have a group hug with their dad.

"Good luck father." Blake said as he and the kids went into the rental car and drove off.

"Awe that was so sweet!" Lana gushed over the scene she saw in awe " You did a great job at gathering your children."

"Actually I was never there for them I've only recently got away from work and staying in the same home as them since I was so busy." Bill said sadly "My Pinetree is the true caretaker she's so amazing at everything."

"Bill!" Veronica squealed running hip to Bill to hug him tight "Its a pleasure to see you again after so long! But where is your wife?" Veronica asked faking being sad.

"Oh somewhere." Bill said then looking back at his agent friends "Hey this is Randy and Abbie their feinds of mine."

"Nice to meet you two." Veronica said with fake sweetness shaking their hands "If you need me I'll be drinking over there!." She said walking over to a table in a rush.

"Okay I'll join you Pyronica!" Bill said cheerfully then turned to the agents "Ok if I know her she'll be hammered in 15 minutes that's how long you have till she comes in the bedroom to pass out."

With Archer and Lana

"Okay The room should be right over here and yes!" Lana said gesturing to the fancy master room door "Huh no security to be honest I'm a little disappointed."

"Okay how are we gonna do this the awesome way or the boring way?" Archer asked loading his gun.

"Hmm." Lana hummed thinking "Yeah let's do it." She agreed so she and Archer kicked opened the door to see a tied up Mason.

"Yes finally!" Dipper cheered " You have no idea how long a pregnant can go without eating some pickles and ice cream!" Then she glared "Well what are you waiting for? A parade? You can untie me now!"

"Sorry things usually don't go this smoothly for us." Archer said putting his gun away.

"Yup must be our lucky day." Lana said untying Mason.

 "Not quite." Veronica said stepping into the room with a gun "I'm not letting Bill win so your all going to die!" She paused for dramatic effect " WITH FIRE!" She laughed closing the door and locking it. Smoke began to fill the air.

"Oh no what are we gonna do what are we gonna do?!" Dipper panicked shaking Archer till he slapped her making her gasp.

"Calm down Woman! I have a plan see!" Archer pointed out the window showing a boat following the boat "All we need to do is jump okay."

"What is wrong with you! you idiot I'm pregnant!" Dipper shouting pointing at her belly.

"Well you do have 11 kids already so whats the big deal?" Archer said so Mason glared at him and crossed her arms.

"Well one I'll personally kill you and two if I don't succeed in killing you Bill will personally kill you!" Dipper screamed.

"Uh guys time is a bit of a factor here." Lana said pointing at the flaming door to get their attention "Wait where's Bill?"

"Out here you idiots!" Bill shouted from the boat outside with a ladder "And next time bring a ladder to a rescue mission when theirs a pregnant woman involved!"

Later at The Cipher House

"Bill I'm so glad to be back home with you." Dipper said smuggling up to Bill as the entire family watches TV the living room.

"Me too Pinetree me too." Bill said kissing her head "And by the way I keep getting phone calls, email and texts from Ms.Archer and her employees so make sure to not read any of my messages without me reading it first cause they are pretty well... dirty."