Seventeen: Get your act together.

He just had to get out of there, the anger at the reaction instantly dissipating as he hit the corridor and cold reality hit. They had all laughed at him, scorning him without any thought for how much he had endured in the past-and how much he had done for each and every one of them. They still thought of him as worthless, agent VA1019, the most pathetic excuse for an agent ever to disgrace a secret service. He accelerated, hearing the ping of the elevator and sliding in just before the doors closed. Miserably, he pressed the Lobby button and emerged into the brilliantly lit, bustling place.

And instantly felt more ridiculous and out of place than he had, Everyone was dressed in a sharp suit or a dress by Versace or Balenziaga or Chanel. Diamonds gleamed on a hundred hands and Archipelago dollars were being flashed everywhere. Buffeted by the tide of people as they swirled, Hiccup muttered a string of apologies until he reached the central fountain and slumped into a sagging seat on the wide rose marble rim. Behind him, the tinkle of water was an oasis of calm in the throng. He leaned forward and buried his face in his hands.

"Anything wrong?" a voice asked him. He stiffened.

"Um...no," he said swiftly. "Headache. Yes...severe headache..."

"Keep telling yourself that," the voice said. It was an amused, confident female voice. "No, don't look up," she said urgently as his head moved slightly. "All the syndicate leaders are coming to Bog-including...royalty. They will meet in the Asgard Suite-it's a room where you only get in by invitation-and a scrummy little redhead like you won't have any problems. Can you play Blackjack? Poker? Craps?"

"I can possibly spell them," he murmured. There was a sigh.

"Learn to play Poker by tonight and we'll see how well you do, cutie-pie," the voice said. He paused.

"Who are you?" he asked and chanced a look up-but he was alone.

"The Boss ain't 'appy that 'e's questioning 'im," a voice growled that had Hiccup stiffening. He peered through some ornamental ferns that were growing around the fountain and saw two shapes he recognised: Madguts and Halitosis Hal, two of Alvin's less intelligent and handsome specimens. Both recognised him immediately as he scrambled through the crowd, dodging the entourage of a visiting Sheikh and two oligarchs and dived into the incredible expensive 'Irmgard's', the most exclusive accessory chain in the Archipelago. There were two hefty guards on the door, for the wares ran into five figures so Hiccup knew he had a tiny window of thinking room...and then his eyes alighted on a perfect evening purse, encrusted with gold and clear stones that caught the lights and shimmered perfectly-and dazzlingly.

He lifted the purse with a smile as an idea began to form.

oOo

The sound reverberated and the laughter died down-well, most did, The twins and Snotlout were still laughing but as she regained control of herself, Astrid was swiftly on her feet, horrible guilt raking her chest. She knew how much Hiccup had endured in AI6, how many taunts and cruel words he had taken and for everyone here-who were starting to become his friends-to laugh at him had just completely undermined him. She snatched a card key and raced out into the corridor. But there was no sign of Hiccup. Horribly guilty, she raced down the corridor to the elevators and checked: all were down in the lobby except one which was descending rapidly-so she sped down the stairs and began to run down. She burst into the wide marble lobby and paused.

The huge space was busy with residents and guests who had come to use the 24-hour Casino. In the distance, she could already hear the sounds of slot machines chinging and beeping and to her left was the reception desk, the green-clad staff courteous and patient. A myriad of concession stores-all high end-shone at the other side of the lobby on the way to the larger 'Viking Raider' restaurant. Beyond the reception, there were seats and tables by the Vinland bar, with a few couples and single guests reading, drinking coffee or enjoying a light alcoholic beverage. Signage pointed down to the lower ground level where the gymnasium was sited. Sighing, she walked across the lobby-and then she saw a tall auburn-haired shape, buying a very sparkly clutch purse on the room tab. As she watched, he signed with a flourish and then accepted the bag with a small smile. But as he turned out of the shop, his eyes widened and Astrid saw two large men heading his way-men who recognised him from Berk.

Astrid didn't know what worried him so much but she could see two bulky shapes heading in his direction so she danced through the crowds and burst into the shop, her eyes lighting as she arrived at the anxious young agent. Her hand slipped though his arm and she grinned into his face.

"Babe! There you are!" she said obviously. "What have you been buying? Are you treating me again, baby boo?" She dropped her voice and looked meaningfully into his eyes. "I'm so sorry," she mouthed. "Please-work with me on this. I'll explain later!" He nodded and forced a nervous smile onto his lips.

"Um, it's a surprise, Milady!" he managed as she pulled him closer. She could feel he was stiff and embarrassed, the expression in his eyes very wary but she snuggled against him.

"You're such a great guy, Babe," she purred. "Shall we go get a drink. I'm really thirsty..." He looked at her in shock: her voice was slightly whining and she was pressed against him like a very attractive piece of tracksuit-clad arm candy. He nodded, unsure what to say so she led him determinedly out of the store, past the two huge men who retreated in light of the determined woman and an obvious audience and into a corner booth by the bar. Subtly checking they had retreated, she waved the waiter over, ordering sparkling mineral water for both and then she sat back. He took a wary sip.

"What was that?' she asked softly, seeing him slowly calm. He sighed.

"Alvin's men," he murmured. "I think they were the ones who caught me outside the warehouse..." She caught his hand but he very carefully pulled away. Her eyes widened in shock.

"Hiccup," she said gently, "I am so sorry. It was just...unkind...and I never ever meant to hurt you..." He looked into her blue eyes, wide with contrition and sighed.

"No, you're right," he said. "I mean, my Dad always says I look a mess and a disgrace to the service and he must be right." He gestured to his self conscious shape and she groaned.

"I never meant to hurt you," she repeated softly. "Hiccup-you have really been there for me since it all went horribly wrong and you have listened to my moans and sat with me at lunch and saved my life time and again and Thor-you even brought a coat for me when we escaped your apartment! You were amazing and..."

"No," Hiccup sighed, leaning back in his seat and staring at his drink. "Back there, you saw me and all you saw was...something worthless...someone to make fun of and laugh at..." She gripped his wrist, acutely aware how deep his scars went. He put up a good front but the rejections of the last few days had completely undermined what confidence he had-coupled with the horrible experience on Hunters' Isle. She leaned close.

"Hiccup," she said in a low voice, "you are NOT worthless. You're my partner and my friend and you've saved me so many times. And I don't want you to feel uncomfortable about the clothes Toothless got you because it doesn't matter because damn, you are cute and Thor, did I actually say that aloud and if you mention it I will have to shoot you..." His eyes widened comically and his mouth opened in a small 'o' before his lips tilted in a small, lopsided smile.

"Hallucinating again," he murmured. She swatted his shoulder and he smiled at her smirk.

"That must be it," she told him. "Friends?" A smile lit his face and he nodded.

"Thor...that's my greatest wish!" he confirmed. Well, that I can own up to. You would kill me for any of the others. Really. Completely. Stone dead. Oh Thor...keep your mouth shut, Hiccup... "By the way...I don't think you need to worry about lack of agent skills, thinking on your feet and dissembling. That was pretty awesome in the store." She gave a small smile.

"Really?" she asked him softly and for a second, the plea was there again, her own lack of confidence in her abilities rearing its head. He leaned closer, dropping his voice to a low purr.

"You know, I think you'll do fine-especially when you channel your inner bimbo!"

"You did NOT say that!" she threatened him with a grin on her face.

"Odin, protect me now!" he yelped, also grinning at her chagrin. And then he stiffened and inclined his head. "ERET!" he hissed and her head snapped round.

"Helheim!" she hissed. "Okay, Grandad-you aren't dressed for the gym..." she began but her smile softened the words so though he give a yip of protest, he was smirking.

"Hey!"

"You can come down and watch me," she told him, rising decisively and he sighed, levering himself up painfully.

"Officially making me a dirty old man," he sighed.

"Pretty sure I am actually older than you," she reminded him briskly, hauling him rapidly down the stairs to the gym. She deliberately took his hand and didn't let go all the way down.

"Um-which one of us is wearing Argyle and slacks?" he asked her as she led them into the gym, grabbing a towel and motioning him to snatch her a water bottle.

"You are, Hiccup," she confirmed, smirking.

"So the calendar may say one thing but in fashion terms, I'm antediluvian while you're hip," he admitted and she giggled at the dry observation, grabbing her water bottle and bouncing confidently onto a treadmill next to the familiar buff, dark-haired shape. Hiccup cringed back, because there were a lot of Alvin's men around-and at least one of them was from the warehouse...or more precisely, from behind the warehouse. But as Astrid began to run and they glared at him, another woman came into the gym, trailing every male eye as she took the treadmill next to Astrid. Hiccup noted she was a couple of inches shorter than his friend with wild blonde hair in a loose braid and fuchsia spandex leaving really nothing to the imagination. She also had a considerably more generous chest than Astrid that moved really interestingly as she jogged on the treadmill.

Hiccup blinked, his cheeks heating. Oh Thor-I really am a dirty old man now!

"You look fit," Astrid purred to the buff shape to her left. "Do you come here often?"

Eret glanced across at the attractive blonde and almost gaped as he recognised Astrid-who he had tried to get off with so many times. His dark eyes swept lasciviously over her lithe shape and he accelerated his treadmill. "Hiya gorgeous," he said lazily. "You look pretty fit yourself!" Astrid thumbed the treadmill faster as well.

"I aim to be the best," she told him confidently. "How about you?"

"I'm the top of my profession," he said smugly. "Numero uno." She cast him a sideways glance.

"Personally, I work on the 73rd floor," she said evenly, modulating her breathing as she picked up her pace. "I'd like to move up but hey-not many opportunities..."

"I know the feeling," he said cockily.

"Though I think the company has gone into liquidation," she added, watching his face. He didn't even flinch. He knows.

"Tough economic conditions," he said. "I've recently swapped employer-moved into a much better job. I'm sure they're looking for talent like you, sweet cheeks." Astrid felt a groan shudder through her. "Who's in charge of the administrators?"

"Miss December," she said. "Board was fired." Eret's jaw tightened slightly.

"Maybe you should consider a new career choice, honey," he said. "You and me would make a great team!" Astrid gritted her teeth, glancing at the shape of Hiccup in the mirror. He was gazing dreamily in her direction and she smiled.

"Already got a partner," she said tightly as Eret glanced as well and smirked.

"Maybe you should upgrade," he sneered. "I think he might want to!" Astrid's fists tightened as she followed Hiccup's astonished and somewhat dopey gaze-not at Astrid but at the very well-endowed fuchsia clad blonde who was bouncing along beside her, a wild grin on her face. Astrid clenched her fists tighter and accelerated to maximum speed.

Once they got out of the gym, Hiccup was in so much trouble...

oOo

The crowds in the lobby parted as the party swept through, two burly masked guards pushing people aside as the tall, red-haired man with the cool eyes and stern face walking to the desk. The receptionist looked up-and then she smiled. Her finger ghosted a button behind the counter and she bowed.

"The owner will be out presently," she said. And immediately, the huge door behind her opened to allow through a tall, heavily built woman with an enormous chest, her dark blonde hair scraped back into a tight bun. Her dark suit was immaculate, the heavy torc necklace around her throat gleaming in the abundant lights of the shiny golden marble reception. Her suspicious blue eyes widened and a false smile tilted her full mouth.

"Throk!" she said and nodded a greeting. "You're early."

"Queen Mala is waiting," the man said in a calm voice, his eyes flicking incessantly around the lobby, noting Alvin's men and the routine Casino security. "I trust her Penthouse will ready, Bertha?" The proprietor and ruler of Bog Isle grinned widely.

"Queen Mala's personal suite is always ready," she assured her enforcer. "Please, I shall escort her up personally..." Throk nodded and stood aside-as the tall, elegant shape of Queen Mala of the Defender Syndicate walked forward. Clad in her trademark black satin evening gown with a long black sable coat draped over her poised shape and trailing behind her, the Queen locked her cool green gaze on Bertha's canny blue one and a faint smile lifted her mouth. She took the proffered hand and gave a small shake.

"It's always a highly acceptable experience to visit your facility," Mala said, her strawberry blonde page-boy cut burnished by the lights. "Your Casino is acknowledged neutral territory. It is the only place that all players would willingly come to negotiate."

"And you are here to sell whoever wants the weapons they need?" Bertha smiled. Mala gave a curt nod, her eyes sweeping across the sumptuous surroundings, the gentle hubbub of voices and the ching and beep of the slots audible amid the gentle sounds of water running in the fountain and the soft classical music in the background.

"You profit from pleasure-I profit from destruction," she pointed out. "We are not so different in our motives, just our means."

"Acknowledged, Queen Mala," Bertha grinned. "Though I should warn you that most players are scheduled to attend. Alvin is already settled in his Penthouse, Madguts of the Murderous Consortium, Norbert of the Hysteric Conglomerate and Mogodon Meathead are already here and the Hunters are expected within the hour." The elegant woman grimaced.

"As long as Viggo and Ryker remember their place, I won't be forced to kill them," she commented. Bertha's smile widened.

"I would really like to wager on that outcome," she commented. "Please-this way, Queen Mala. And I have a small business proposition to make to you..."

oOo

"Eret is playing for the other team," Astrid snapped, storming into the suite, Hiccup trailing self-consciously behind her. She had blanked him on the way up from the gym, glaring at him and muttering under her breath about how I will kill him as she stalked away from the gym once Eret had gone back up with his escorts. Hiccup hung back as she stalked to the small chaise longue and threw herself down. "He says he's swapped employer and I told him AI6 was gone. He tried to get me to hook up with him and I was telling that I already had a great partner-but then he pointed out agent boy's wandering eye..." Hiccup's emerald gaze widened and he backed up, blushing beet red as the twins wolf-whistled.

"Oh Thor...I am dead," he muttered.

"And he can disregard anything I may have said to him earlier," she snapped, folding her arms and managing to look fierce and intimidating, even though she was severely sweaty and red. Hiccup cringed, paling. He felt as if the air had been knocked out of him.

No matter what I do, I manage to screw it up. I guess...I just I don't deserve her...Stupid, stupid...why did you ever allow yourself to dream just because she took pity on you when you were so pathetic...?

"Sorry," he mumbled, dipping his shamed emerald gaze, grabbing his carrier bag and turning, heading back to his room. The defeated slump of his shoulders was back and he stared at the floor as he went. The door slammed again. Ruff rolled her eyes from the bar, where she was trying to make the most alcoholic drink possible.

"Will you two get your act together?" she snapped, tipping a huge measure of vodka into the brown mixture. Astrid scowled.

"What?" she said in an icy voice.

"She does have a point," Toothless commented, observing them from a seat by a table with Fishlegs and his computer. "You and he are clearly attracted-he's clearly harbouring feelings for you-and one minute, you're being nice to him and the next, being insensitive or angry. He doesn't know here he stands but he is a decent guy who will do anything for you."

"Yeah! He was ogling that other girl and that was really helping!" Astrid huffed.

"And if you didn't like him, why would you care?" Fishlegs asked her pointedly.

"Look, he's a guy," Tuffnut commented easily. "I guess this girl was in skintight spandex and knew she was being watched?" Astrid glared at him.

"Hot pink," she admitted. "She looked kinda like me-but with a bouncier chest. And she was grinning as she looked in the mirror..." The twins shared a knowing look and Tuff walked forward, using a lecturing voice.

"You see, young lady," he began, "It is the classic territorial behaviour of the female of the species towards an apparently unattached male. She was trying to entice him and he..." He glanced at his sister.

"His brains were below the equator," Ruff explained, tipping in half a bottle of tequila.

"That's for sure," Astrid grumped.

"And you've gotten used to him looking at you with with those big green puppy eyes," Ruff told her with extremely annoying amusement. "And you're jealous!"

"Am NOT!" Astrid snapped. "I am a serious agent and I..."

"Astrid-get over it," Tuff sighed. "There is no AI6! We're all unemployed and when there was an AI6, we were all screw ups."

"Speak for yourself!" his sister snapped.

"Suspended? Astrid was rejected from selection. Hiccup was about to be kicked out and on his final final final warning...which we may or may not have some hand in..."

"Oh yeah...now you mention it..." Ruff murmured and delicately balanced a slice of lime on the rim of the glass.

"And who would employ us?" Tuff piped up. "Hiccup is the only one who has any qualifications outside AI6-and that's because the Commander has been trying to throw him out for some time."

"Look-you have to make your mind up what you want, with Hiccup," Fishlegs spoke up, his voice firmer. "He's my friend and he's a really decent guy. But he's crushed on you forever-and I know he was upset when we all laughed at his outfit-even though he didn't buy it..." He glared at Toothless who looked innocent. "And you ran off after him...but when you came back, you were so mad at him and clearly you apologised and said something nice to him-which you retracted. Because when you said to ignore what you said earlier, I think you may have broken his heart."

"Way to go," Ruff grumped, fishing out a small pink umbrella and carefully placing it on the drink as well..

"Nah-who should bother?" Snotlout asked, coming in and grinning, grabbing the drink and chugging a huge mouthful before coughing and putting it down on the table. "Just means you're free to pay attention to the only real agent here, babe..." He plopped down by Astrid and tried to wrap his arm around her-to find his wrist snapped painfully back before he was bodily thrown from the chaise longue completely. He hit the door with a slam and whined in dismay.

"UGH! I am NOT your babe!" she snapped.

"Well, you've decided you're not Useless's!" Snotlout sneered. "C'mon, babe-you can't do any better!" Astrid kicked him and stamped to the door.

"Yes, I can!" she growled. "And I just realised that! I..." Ruff and Tuff raced to grab her and they shared a look.

"Butt-Elf, can you...?" Tuff suggested but Ruff rolled her eyes.

"Idiot. Which one of us is more girly?" she asked.

"Good point. Young lady-with me," Tuff said. "You need to clean up and then we can prep you for your mission!"

"I..." Astrid growled.

"Go with him," Ruff suggested. "I can guarantee you'll look stunning!"

"But..."

"You can talk with Hiccup later," she sighed. "I guarantee he won't be looking at anyone else after we're done."

oOo

Fishlegs found Hiccup in their room, his bag, the evening purse and his tools and the wreckage of his desk from Q department spread out on the table. The auburn haired man didn't even look up when his friend walked in.

"I don't want to hear it," he said tonelessly as Fishlegs settled opposite him.

"What is this?" he asked curiously and Hiccup finally flicked up his emerald eyes, the depressed expression eloquently conveying how miserable he felt. He gestured to the wrecked components.

"Something the twins wrecked which got me kicked out of the only job I enjoyed," he said quietly. "I had a prototype at home and I've got some of the components here. I'm gonna modify this purse..." The hacker looked worriedly at it.

"Is that the thing that blew up?" he squeaked and Hiccup rolled his eyes.

"Once the twins messed with it yes-but I'm not putting an explosive device in," he said coolly. "But I want at least to put in a weapon, a knife and a reinforced edge to use the purse as a weapon." Fishlegs scooched backwards.

"Okay..." he said warily. "And on a similar but different note, Astrid is sorry...I think..." Hiccup sighed and rested his multitool down.

"No, she was right," he said. "I don't deserve her as a friend. I really am stupid. She...she's too good for me..." Fishlegs sighed. They had gone over this conversation hundreds of times but he was really hoping the pair were moving forward...they certainly had been when they came back from Hunter Isle. And the florist felt they were really kind of cute together. He rose, thoughtfully.

"Don't give up on her yet," he advised. "I know the twins are keen to get you two together as one of their debts and Snotlout's pass at Astrid certainly made her rethink." Hiccup turned back to his work.

"I need to get this done," he sighed and began to prise the hinge apart. Fishlegs stared at him.

"Hiccup-you are going into the Casino with her," she commented. "Are you going to be able to manage that?" Hiccup closed his eyes and sighed.

"I'm used to her not caring about me," he admitted. "It's just now...I know I've blown my chance with her. Stupid, stupid...I would have been happy with her as a friend...but now she isn't even talking to me..." Fishlegs rose and backed away to the door.

"She will," he said nervously. "Just try not to blow her up with your contraption, okay?" Hiccup rolled his eyes.

"Ha ha," he said. "Pass the wrench..."