*flashback*

"Why can't I play outside with the other kids?" Meare frowned.

"Meare, your blind. You can not see. They will most likely make fun of you. And Mr Orochimaru, your father, doesn't like you hanging around such distractions." A young Kabuto replied.

"But I'm their age. I should be around them. And Orochimaru Isn't my dad. Meare isn't my name!" Meare frowned.

"Orochimaru saved you from your family that didn't want you. He named you because he thinks of you as his own flesh and blood." Kabuto looked at her.

Meare frowned and her eyes went teal
"HE HURTS ME MR KABUTO! IM A MONSTER! I CAN'T SEE! I JUST WANT TO MAKE A FRIEND IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK!?" She yelled, throwing a tantrum.

"Now now Meare." Kabuto chuckled nervously.

"MY NAME IS NOT MEARE!" Meare teared up.

She collapsed to her knees and began to cry. "he made me go blind Mr Kabuto! Your the only one who is somewhat nice to me. He made me over use my eyes. I-i can't see!" She shook and hugged him. "But he put a monster in me that makes me see. But her power! It stings!" Meare cried into his chest.

"I know it does. And I'm sorry it hurts you. Everybody experiences pain every day in one shape or form. I'm in pain because your in pain." Kabuto weakly smiled.

"..." Meare looked up to what she thought was his head. "Y-you are in p-pain because o-of m-me? She seemed very distressed.

"No no! It's not your fault. It's because I care about you. So much so that I emotionally hurt when I see you cry. Because I don't understand what your going through." He hugged her.

*******

"Your next assignment is to find and to kill this man." Orochimaru smirked and handed her a photo.

Meare used Shima's powers to see. She looked at him and her face seemed to present the mood of being unhappy. Orochimaru chuckled weakly and walked over to the other room.

"Méãrë, érä øúy yãkø?" Shima spoke.

"I'm tired of killing." Meare mumbled. "It's pointless and cruel."

Shima's smirked and shrugged. " dñétérp táht tí ßí llâ émåg."

"But, if I pretend it's a game and I enjoy it...will that make me bad Mrs Shima?" Meare frowned.

"fó éßrúøç tøñ." Shima hummed.

Meare looked at the photo with her teal eyes and pretending the chakra she was using didn't sting, or rather she liked it. And to be honest...

It helped.

But she still hated that name. Meare Maru. It wasn't hers. That name was giving to her by her kidnapper. Her parents gave her another name. A prettier name. But she was band from speaking her own name in public or around Orochimaru and Kabuto. If she did Orochimaru will punish her by giving her another Curse mark.

She already had three in the first place....she doesn't need more.

Meare looked down at her fingerless gloves and she gripped her hands tightly together. She then turned to the exit tunnel and ran on all fours and turned into a seven foot wolf and howled loudly. She hit the forest and ran as fast as a regular alpha wolf would run, accompanying her was her animal friends...a pack of wolves. The wolves seemed to be her friends, they enjoyed her company and accepted her as the leader of their pack. One of the pups of the coupled wolves was on her back, resting. Her eyes moved to it and seemed filled with happiness, before she returned her gaze forwards and she barked and they howled.

Those wolves in her pack were other alphas, and they had packs of their own. She ran forwards and clones of Shima spread amoungst them and soon enough there was almost a mini army of wolves in the forest. They made their way over to a small village and the wolves Megan to eat and destroy everything. Meare ran into a house with two other alphas and a man yelled and fell back on his floor from his stool chair, drunk off his ass, him drinking after the fact he knew he fucked up by double crossing Orochimaru.

"You will pay for your betrayal against Orochimaru!" Meare hissed.

"Please forgive me!" He begged. "I was forced into joining him in the first place! I was justified by my actions! How can you stand working with a man like him! Please forgive me!" The man begged with tears flowing down his fast rapidly.

Meare faultered a bit. She frowned and looked at her wolves and then growled and her eyes burned.

"Amatarasu!"

The man suddenly went into a screaming fit of agony as black flames shot from her eyes and devoured his body. The wolves sat down and watched as he burned. She removed the flames with her other eyes and she went from a wolf back to her small 14 year old self. Her eyes bled and stung and she winced, wiping away the blood.

"You can have dinner now." She spoke.

The wolves jumped onto the cooked carcass and began to eat him. She watched the blood run out and onto the wooden planked flooring. His guts being exposed and eaten. Her pupils constricted as she walked up and began to eat, her eyes wide and her mouth lifted to a twisted smirk. Shima's face turned into a frown and she rested her head sadly, knowing Meare had these moments of weakness to her own chakra. She was already too far into the chakra use to be saved from it's final consiquence...

Insanity.

Meare ate the cooked person and laughed afterwards.

"Hehehehehehehehehehhe. Looks like the man became barbaque! How tragic." She felt tears burn her face as they fell. "Hehehehehehehe! How amusing!" She snickered.

SnAp!

Shima gasped and her head jolted upwards in pure shock.

Meare began to laugh uncontrollably. She stood and she began to forcefully use Shima's chakra and she set the whole village on fire around her...

Killing the wolves along with the rest of the unlucky people. She walked out of the house and through the flames, her feet burning harshly. Her hair catching fire, burning to a black color...ruining it's pretty white color perminantly.

"ÃLLÊ!" Shima gasped.

"Ella isn't my name...it's Meare Now." She cried and laughed loudly. "This is what daddy wants~! Maybe this is being perfect! Maybe I'm born to suffer~. Maybe I was mentioned to be a monster. Let's give everyone what they want! LETS SHOW HIM HOW BAD I AM!"

Flashes of Orochimaru beating her senseless Everytime she spoke her real name hit her hard and she laughed loudly. Images of Shima, before they became close, hurting her wouldn't stop. The time she went blind came up and she felt her tears, mixed with blood fall into her hands that covered her face.

Kabuto's and Orochimaru's hands, gently showing her how to write

How to read

How to use Justu

How to sing

How to dance

How to plant

How to throw a Kunai

How to use her powers

How to obey

How to hunt...

How to kill...

How to hurt

How to experience agony

How to love

How to crush others

How to terrify

How to be a child

How to feel alone

How to feel suicidal

How to feel dead inside...

And how to feel nothing at all.

Nothing...

Nothing...

Nothing...

Making her do whatever she could to feel anything at all...even if it meant her losing her sanity...just feel the tiniest sense of amusement. Just to feel like she wasn't alone.