[NOT EDITED]
Ashton's POV

No one irritates the shit out of me and get away with it except for Katherine.

She walked away , I was fûcking talking to her and she just walked away.

I ran my hand in my hair frustrated and tried to busy myself talking to other people to not let my eyes search for her.

David was talking non stop about some shit but I don't seem to understand what in hell he is talking about , i just nod whenever he mentions something new.

If i don't need you for this deal , i would've kicked your ass and left already..

Another two men came and started talking with him ,so i found it my cue to escape.

My eyes wandered around before landing on Katherine, a smile made its way to my lips as i saw the way she was looking at Rebecca.

Even though she is smiling to her , i can see the daggers she was sending toward her direction.

She looks so cute.

My mind took me back to today's morning , to the angry look in her eyes when i talked about Rebecca.

She was jealous, and I couldn't be more happy about it.

Because if she is jealous that means she cares.

And i want her to care.

But there is nothing for her to be jealous about , because i meant it when i said that my eyes sees only her.

Rebecca is somehow pretty but she is ordinary while Katherine , she is extraordinary and unique in her own way.

I turned my body to walk away but directly bumped into someone and my smile faded away when i noticed that Alex's drink is all over my shirt now.

I glared at him , my mouth pressed into a thin line, he just gave me a smile , "Oops !" He muttered giving me an apologetic look.

I shook my head looking at the yellowish stain forming on my shirt.

"You still love me , do you ?" Alex said making me glare at him.

"Where is the washroom ? " I asked, "I think upstairs." He said.

I walked out of the room toward the stairs. On my way , i turned my head to the right and what i saw made my whole body tense.

Caleb's arms were around her , she was so close to him.. She wasn't fighting against his hold. 

I felt my breath getting heavier and my heart ached as i stared at the both of them. I wanted to go and rip his hands from over her, but for unknown reason I couldn't.

I just couldn't move.

He leaned closer and I don't have to be an expert to know what's about to happen next.

I directly turned my head and walked away.

What i felt this time wasn't jealousy ; what i felt , was pain.

Pain of knowing that Even though she is with me , she'll never be mine.

Everything happening is just proving that.

Even in the morning , she accidentally said Chase's name instead of mine.

I didn't know about what i got angry the most, because she said another guys name or because she said his name.

It just showed me that somehow he will stay a part of her life, a big part.

My hand went and punched the wall in front me converting all the pain inside me into anger, as i registered the fact that she's inches away probably kissing another guy.

"Mr. Ryder are you okay ?" I felt a hand on my shoulder , i turned around and saw Rebecca looking at me with a concerned look.

Not wanting to let my anger on her , i tried to ignore her and walked away. I found an empty room so i stepped inside trying to calm myself, because if anger took the best of me I'll do things i will regret.

Rebecca didn't seem to understand that i am not in the mood for talking because she followed me inside.

"Are you okay ? " She asked stepping closer.

Do i look okay !

"What happened ? " she asked again.

Goddammit woman just shut up.

My mind was going wild with all the thoughts roaming it, i felt like breaking something ,I felt like punching someone.

A hand on my shoulder made my anger grow more. Without second thoughts i pulled her and pinned her toward the wall.

She looked scared at my action but i didn't care, anger took the best of me at the moment.

My body tensed as i saw Katherine from the corner of my eye.. She stood there not moving as if seeing what i am about to do next.

I wanted to hurt her , i wanted revenge , and in the same moment i had doubts with myself wether my action will hurt her or not.. Whether she'll care or not..

I wanted to know , i wanted to see if it's going to hurt her.

It was wrong, but i wanted to hurt her.

With that thought in my mind , i pressed my lips over Rebecca's, but the moment my lips met hers i felt sick.

She responded directly to the kiss but i felt disgusted.. Disgusted by myself..

I directly pulled away , "Get out of here !" I bellowed , my harsh tone made her ran away instantly.

"F*ck !" I cursed pressing my palm over my forehead feeling the pain inside me intensify.

What the f*ck i just did ?

What the f*ck i am doing to her and to me ?

Why i had to oblige her into this marriage.. To ruin her life and mine and in the process ruin our child's life.

Did i do it for the child's sake then ? No , it doesn't look like that , i did it because i wanted to hurt her.

Not because she made me lose the company. No , because i gave her my heart and I can't seem to be able to get it back.

Because I want her but she doesn't want me back.

I love her but all i did was hurting her, so i am not suppose to call this love.

If we're both not happy , then our child won't be happy either.

And if i took him away from his mom , I will be no good for him.

Because I won't be able to give him or her the childhood that he or she deserves.

I don't know how to.

Because i never had a one of my own.

I will just ruin his childhood.

Just like my father ruined mine.

The thought alone drove me crazy , I directly walked away searching for Katherine.

I will give her what she wants , if she wants a divorce, I'll give it to her. She is free , the choice will be in her hands now.

Because i love her , i will let her go.

Even though it hurts like hell , but i will do it.

At least for our baby's sake. And This time for real..

I walked toward the room again , my eyes frantically searching for Katherine but couldn't spot her anywhere.

I ran my hand in my hair frustrated trying to calm my nerves a bit.

"Are you looking for someone ?" David asked snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Yes." I answered, "Katherine, do you know where she is ? "

"I saw her getting out." He said , "Maybe she left."

"Okay , thank you." I said before storming out too.

She doesn't have a car , she should be here somewhere.

I walked around, my eyes searching for her but couldn't find her anywhere.

I turned my head , and this time i saw her, sitting beside the fountain, her back facing me while Alex was standing in front of her.

I walked toward her direction thinking of the possible ways to tell her what i have.

"I can't do this anymore." Her voice made me stop dead in my track "I though i can go on with this fake marriage, but no I can't."

Her words were the answer of whatever i was going to tell her.

She doesn't want this life, and even though i knew it , hearing it made it hurt ten times more.

"Why ? " Alex said looking at her , and i was just standing unable to move.

A part of me wanted to hear the answer to that question.

"Because.." She started and paused for a moment, "Because i am in love with him.. I am in love with my husband."

My eyes widened as i tried to register what she just said , her words were something i never expected her to say , they were the words i craved to hear for so long.

"Do you want to leave ? " Alex asked her as I stood frozen in my spot.

"Yes , please." She said , her voice muffled with tears.

Tears that i caused.

"Okay , I'll be back in a minute , wait me." Alex said before lifting his eyes up.

He saw me standing behind them , he looked at Katherine one more time before walking toward my direction.

"Good job." He said sarcastically with a low voice as he patted my shoulder giving me unsatisfied look.

"I'll take her home." I said with a low voice.

Home , how strange that word sounded..But somehow her presence made it our home..She made me remember how does it feel to be home again.

"I don't think it is a good idea." Alex said looking at Katherine.

"I'll take her Alex." I added , this time he just nodded , "Just be careful." He said before going back inside.

I took a deep breath and walked toward her trying to remove the effect her previous words had on me.

Once i stepped in front of her , she lifted her eyes up , she looked somehow surprised to see me.

She started to wipe her tears away as if hiding them from me.

I swallowed the lump in my throat before talking , "Let's go."

She parted her lips to say something but I directly interrupted her , "I told Alex." I said, her eyes widened a bit but then she stood up and started walking without protesting.

Well , this is weird.

The drive back was hardest than I thought, the tension in the air almost suffocating.

The whole ride, Katherine was looking out of the window , she seems deep in thoughts while i was trying to concentrate on the road having a debate with myself of what i should do next.

After thirty minutes we arrived , i parked the car but stayed in my seat not ready to get out yet, Katherine also stayed in her seat, as if we're both waiting for the other to speak first.

I closed my eyes for a brief second trying to compose myself before talking.

"If you want a divorce , i will give it to you." I said breaking the silence , keeping my eyes looking straight ahead of me not wanting to see her reaction.

"The choice is in your hand now." I said , "You're free to do whatever you want."

I didn't look toward her side yet , "Tomorrow, we will go back to LA , we'll arrive the day after in the morning, you have a doctor appointment in that day, and then Zoe wants us to have lunch with them."

I let out a breath , my knuckles holding the steering wheel so tightly, "And after that , you can do whatever you want."

With that i went out of the car without looking at her, not wanting to know her reaction yet, but still i forget to say one important phrase.

I love you too, Katherine..

****

Katherine's POV

He just threw the words in my face and went out of the car leaving me trying to digest everything.

He wants to give me what I want.

He will give me a divorce ?

Why? All of a sudden ?

But to be honest, is that what I actually want ?

My chest tightened as i recalled the image of him kissing her. Is that's why he doesn't want me anymore ?

Maybe.

It hurts. It really does.

I placed my hand over my chest hating the way it tightened at that thought.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before getting out of the car then inside the house.

I walked to my room, the weird ache in my chest still there.

I suddenly stopped walking, my eyes flicked to his room.

This is not the kind of marriage i dreamt about. This is not the love i wished to have.

We are not happy together, maybe divorce is actually the best idea.

Splitting apart, probably that's the only way so we would stop hurting each others.

I entered my room and sat on the bed's edge, I placed my head in my hands, my mind unable to shook the thoughts away.

Do i really love him ?

Or is it just an illusion in my head. I don't know what i am feeling, it's so confusing.

With Chase, things were easier, i was able to figure my feelings out easily but with Ashton, it's difficult.

I don't understand anything.

I shook my head as i stood up and started to strip out of my clothes. My hands went to my back and struggled to unzip the dress.

I couldn't do it on my own.

Damn.

I have to-

Oh f*ck.

Kill me someone.

I let out a sigh as i walked out of my room. Few steps and i was standing at the door next to it.

I curled my hand into a fist and brought it up, but I didn't knock.

Should i?

Damn you my life.

I bit my lip as i lowly knocked on the door before i opened it.

To my surprise, there was no one.

Okay just someone f*ck me already.

No wait, I didn't mean that.

Damn again.

Shuffling voices came from downstairs, I turned my head and looked down to see Ashton walking from the kitchen to the living room.

I made my way downstairs and walked toward him.

He was sitting on the couch, his gaze fixated on the window, a glass in his hand as he looked lost in his thoughts.

My heart pumped harder as i walked closer. His eyes flicked to me, so i stopped.

I swallowed hard as his eyes met mine.

I hate those eyes. I hate them.

They always steel my words away.

I hate them.

His eyebrows pulled together in a questioning look. I cleared my throat, "Can you- help me, uh-- unzip my dress ?" I said hesitantly, "Please." I added.

He nodded and stood up, i turned around as i removed my hair so he can easily unzip it.

I felt his body coming closer, i felt his heat as his hand went and started to unzip it.

His movement was slow and he was so close to me, my back almost touching his front.

I closed my eyes trying to get a grip over my heartbeat.

His hand slowly traveled to my shoulder, his hand lingered over my skin and he slowly slid down the strap of the dress.

I didn't move, he didn't move either.

I felt his head beside my hair, as if he is breathing me in.

"I am going to miss this smell." He said, his voice so low, as if talking to himself not to me.

I opened my eyes as i registered his words. I felt weird things in my stomach. Butterflies ?

No, it was more of a sick feeling.

He knows i am going to leave.

I slowly turned around and faced him.

I wanted an answer to my question, heck, i deserved an answer.

His hand stayed at my shoulder, his eyes directly held mine, the softness in them melted my heart.

What i did next, was something that surprised the both of us.

Placing my hand on his shoulder, I tiptoed and pressed my lips over his.

I kissed him, he kissed me back. The kiss was-- sad. Our movement slow, not harsh or passionate.

It was kind of-- heartbreaking.

My hands traveled from his shoulder to his neck then to his cheek. He placed his hand at the back of my neck pulling me closer, deepening the kiss more.

I broke the kiss when i felt tears forming in my eyes.

A tear slid down my cheek and i opened my eyes.

I got my answer.

The answer is yes.

I do love him.

This kiss told me that and more.

I love him. A lot.

I hate that.

He opened his eyes as well, his gaze traveled to the other tear that escaped my eye. His jaw tightened, his eyebrows pulled together and with his thumb directly wiped it away.

"I am sorry." I suddenly said.

His eyes met mine again giving me a questioning look.

"For hurting you." I added.

I needed to let it out.

"Today i tasted it, i felt how being betrayed by someone you care about feels like-" i said trying my best not let my voice shake.

"Kath-"

I shook my head, "I am sorry." I added again, my gaze dropped down trying to gather some courage to say the next words.

"When we come back from Zoe's, i want you to start working on the divorce papers."

His hand that's over my arm tightened a bit. I placed my hand over it and removed it. I turned around and started to walk away.

But his hand circled over my wrist from the back stopping me.

I didn't turn around as i waited for him to say whatever he wants to say.

"I knew you were standing there." He started, "I knew you were watching-"

I closed my eyes and swallowed past the lump in my throat.

Don't continue Ashton.

Please don't hurt me more.

"That's why i did it-" he said, "That's why i kissed her."

"I wanted to hurt you, I -"

"Well congrats then." I said as i removed his hand from over my hand, i gave him a weak smile, "Because you got what you wanted."

And with that i walked away toward my room.

***

I slept during the ten hours flight , because I didn't get much sleep yesterday.

Actually , I didn't sleep at all.

How i was supposed to sleep after what happened.

I kept thinking of what i am supposed to do next.

Where to go after the divorce ? What will happen ? Would he still want to be in the child's life, or not ?

I shook those thought away as i saw the car parking beside the tall building. We got down and then went inside.

Ashton led me to his penthouse as the receptionist placed our suitcases inside.

I looked around as a yawn escaped past my lips. It's six in the morning and i am still so tired.

Ashton directed me toward my room, "The doctor's appointment is at three , i will come to pick you up." He said with a normal tone.

I turned to face him, "You are leaving now ? " I asked.

"Yeah , i have a lot of work." He answered.

"Okay." I said and that was the first conversation between us since what happened last night.

I shook my head trying to empty my head from all these tiring thoughts, i will try not to think about it, at least for today.

I took a shower , then laid on the bed taking a short nap before i have to wake up again and get ready.

At two thirty Ashton came back , i was already dressed so we directly went toward the doctors clinic.

We immediately get in once arrived , the doctor greeted both Ashton and me with a smile.

I was glad that we came to the same doctor , because he knows my case and i've get used to him from the beginning.

The doctor asked me to lay down as he dragged the wand on my stomach so we can see the image of the baby on the small screen.

I held my breath and smiled widely when I heard the heartbeats of my child, a tear escaped my eye directly , a happy tear this time.

I turned my head to look at Ashton , who's eye were fixated on the screen with an unfamiliar emotion in them.

His eyes traveled to my stomach as if not believing that our child is there.

He surprised me when his hand went and held mine tightly. His eyes met mine, his lips curving a beautiful smile.

The doctor was telling us about that we wont be able to know the gender till i am six months pregnant, but we were too busy in our own silent moment to listen to him.

Ashton leaned closer and wiped the tear on my cheek away , "We're going to be parents." He whispered , the genuine smile never leaving his face. I nodded a genuine smile on my face too.

I felt my heart melt , and in the moment everything felt okay.

It felt like i am the perfect wife.

And he is the perfect husband.

If felt like we are the perfect family.

But as soon as that though crossed my mind, i felt how this all is just a lie.

A big lie.

A perfect one.

Whatever was between us is now long broken.

He wanted me just for the baby.

He just cares about the baby. Not me.

It will never be me.

I shook these thoughts along with the stung it brought to my heart as i sat down. The doctor wrote on a paper the vitamins i need to take then handed it to Ashton.

"You have to be more careful about your health." He said to me then looked at Ashton.

"Make sure she eats well , because if she is healthy then the baby is." He added and we both nodded.

The doctor's eyes flicked toward me, he gave me a look, i only was able to understand.

I swallowed past the lump in my throat, "Is there a bathroom here ? " I asked the doctor and he seemed to understand my excuse.

"Yeah , there is inside." He said.

"I will use the washroom , if you want wait me outside." I said to Ashton.

"Okay." He said before thanking the doctor and getting out.

I directly looked at the doctor once the door closed behind Ashton.

"He doesn't know ?" He asked and i nodded , "Not yet."

He gave me an unsatisfied look , "Did you think about what i told you ?" He asked.

"I don't have to think about it , i already told you my choice." I said feeling my throat burning , "I am going to keep the baby."

He looked at me with a sad expression but he didn't argue further, "You should sign some documents that shows you're willingly going to continue the pregnancy even though you know the consequences."

"But I don't have them right now , because I thought you may change your mind, but next time they'll be ready."

"Okay." I nodded feeling tears in my eyes but I didn't let them fall down.

"Katherine." He said , "Even if you signed the papers , you can still change your mind."

No I won't change it, never.

"You still have seven months to change it." He added and i shook my head , "Just think about it more."

"I already told you my answer, there is no need to think about it." I said with a determined voice, "I am not going to kill my baby." The words were too heavy to even pronounce.

"Okay , but at least you have to tell Ashton." He said , "He deserves to know."

"I will.. Later." I lied.

Because i am not planning on telling him , not now,

--And not even later.

**************************

New plot twist 😂 don't kill me now , save it for later.

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