Katherine's POV

"Cara, we need to talk." I said , she nodded. We directly went inside the house.

"I just have to go to the bathroom first." I said excusing myself , then went up. 

Dammit ! Pregnancy does make you use the bathroom a lot.

When i finished , i went back down , i stopped when i reached the living room when I saw Ashton sitting beside Cara.

She was crying , "I ruined everything, i ruined it all." She said placing her head in her hands , her voice came low and muffled with tears.

Ashton looked uncomfortable with the fact a girl is crying in front of him , he scratched his neck nervously ,"Um it's okay." He said then hesitantly placed his hand on her back ,"Don't cry."

It's weird he is being nice to her , they used to not handle each other.

I walked toward them to save him from the awkward situation.

And i should say he was relieved when he saw me , "I have some work to do." He said immediately standing up, "I'll be up if you needed me." I nodded giving him a smile.

He went up after that and i sat beside Cara , "What's wrong ?" I directly asked placing my hand on her shoulder so she could look at me.

"I ruined everything." She said sniffing , "He hates me now , doesn't he ?"

"Of course he doesn't." I said as i shook my head , "But you're the one who said you don't want him."

"But i want him." She said confusing me.

"Then why you said no ?"

This girl is going to drive me crazy.

"I don't know." She said , "I don't know what i want , i am scared Katherine."

"Scared of what ?" I asked , "Scared of commitment ?" I added when she didn't answer.

She shook her head , "Scared he may leave."

"But he won't leave." I said , "Heck , i never thought Alex would really think of getting married and settle down."

"He loves you Cara , you should've seen him , he really loves you."

"He loved me too Katherine." She said wiping the tears on her cheek away , "He said he loved me yet he left."

I closed my eyes for a while making sense of her words , i finally understood why she acted like that.

I didn't think that the past still affects her like this.

She was looking at her lap , so I placed my hand on her chin and lifted it up so she can look at me , "Cara , If your dad left you , that doesn't mean every man in your life will do the same."

A tear fell from her eye as i muttered that sentence ; it was true, her past still have a big effect over her life.

And I didn't want that to be her limit, i want her to fix things with Alex because i am sure he will stay by her side.

He will be there when I won't.

I wrapped my arms around her ,hating to see her like this , "Cara if you are not going to overcome this fear now , it will become your limit."

"If you're always going to think the same, then you will live the rest of your life regretting missing the chances you had before ." I said hoping she will kick that thought away.

"But I don't want to end up like mom." She said pulling away ,"I don't want to stay drunk half of the time then go and marry another man just for his money so i can make a life for my children when their real father just turned his back on them and never came back..I don't want to live like that."

"You won't." I said , "Alex is not your father."

"What if he is ?" She asked ,"What if he is just like him ?"

"Do you want to spend your life wondering about what if and what if ?" I said.

"Cara look , forget about your father now , forget about whatever happened in the past and answer my question, do you love Alex ?" I asked , but she kept silent.

"Do you love him to the extant that you're ready to spend the rest of your life with him ?" I asked again , "Because if you don't, then i am not going to oblige you into anything."

"But if you do , and your just saying no because you're afraid to risk it , then i will kick your aśs right now."

She bit her lip and after a short while ,she nodded , "Yeah." She said.

"Yeah what ?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"I love him." She said , and I don't know why i smiled.

"Then go and tell him , what are you waiting for !" I said.

"What if he hates me now ?" She asked , the look in her eyes showed how scared she is of that.

"He just proposed to you like few hours ago you stupid." I said glaring at her , "Just go for it and don't be scared."

"I mean look at me , you think i wasn't afraid to fall in love again , i was terrified, i am still terrified." I said ,"Whenever Ashton go out of the house, i always have this feeling, this fear that he may never come back for some reason."

It still scares me.

My past still terrifies me, and I don't think i will ever be able to move on from that.

"I always feel that somehow i'll end up hurt , but that didn't stop me." I said. These thoughts made my chest tighten for some reason.

"But sometimes , there is just no escape. You just can't hold yourself from falling, even if you want to."

Because really , I didn't want to love Ashton , it felt wrong to love him , it felt like a sin , but somehow I couldn't fight my feelings.

I just couldn't.

"Katherine , can I ask you a question ?" Cara said and I nodded, "But if you don't want to answer it , it's okay."

"Okay ask." I said feeling curious.

"Do you love him more than Chase ? " she asked.

And i would be lying if I said her question didn't take me off the guard.

"Just forget that i asked that." She said probably noticing the change in my expression ,"I am sorry , i am so stupid."

I shook my head , i want to answer that question.

But i really don't know the answer.

My mind clouded with many thoughts as i felt myself comparing the love i had with Chase to the love i have with Ashton.

"It's different." I said , I wasn't looking at Cara at the moment , i felt i was talking to answer my question rather than answer hers, "It's like , the love i had with Chase , it was perfect, you know it's the kind of love everyone search for, it's guaranteed, you know you can let your guard down and you won't get hurt , you know because it's full with light."

"It was flawless ,it didn't have anything wrong about it , like i don't remember a time where Chase and I really fought about something." I said turning my head toward Cara , she was looking at me giving me her full concentration.

"Maybe that why it had to end , because it was good , it was too good to be true." I paused for a while digesting the fact that for the first time , i am talking about Chase without breaking down.

Which is weird.

"But the love i have with Ashton , it is the exact opposite , it's not perfect, it's full with flaws , it's broken but yet I love every broken piece of it , it's full with darkness.. But for some reason this darkness makes me drown in it even more." I was trying to analyze my feeling hoping i will find the answer to that question by the end.

"It is like you know you're going to get hurt but you don't stop. You can't stop yourself." I let out a breath I don't know i was holding that long.

"And that whenever things become good , you know something bad will happen.

It's fragile , but that doesn't mean it's not unique and somehow meaningful in that form of fragility., it is not perfect yet it still feels perfect somehow."

I looked at Cara again , thinking maybe i found my answer ,"It's easy to be attracted to light , but when it comes to darkness , when you see the darkness yet still feel attracted to it , then it just means that whatever is going on is more powerful."

I didn't know if she understood the meaning behind my words so I continued further ,"Any girl would've loved Chase the way i did , but not anyone will love Ashton the way i do."

And when i said that sentence , i realized , that when I talked about Chase I said did , but when I talked about Ashton i said do.

In the moment , i realized ,

I realized that i moved on.

After all those years , now i am sure that i moved on.

And for the first time , I don't feel guilty about it.

Chase will always occupy a special big part in my heart , but he is in my past and it seems that I really did let that past go.

But Ashton , he is my present now , and hopefully my future.

Or whatever is left from my future.

*************

Alex's POV

Someone is playing with my hair.

It is so relaxing ,it makes it harder to open my eyes and see who is playing with it.

Could it be Katherine ?

Wait no , why would she play with my hair.

What if it's Ashton ?

He would definitely not play with my hair.

At the thought i snapped my eyes open and when I directly met with Cara's face i shot up from my sleeping position making my forehead hit hers as an impact.

"Ugh !" I groaned rubbing my forehead. Cara was doing the same.

And then it hit me,what in hell is she doing here ?

"How did you come in ?" I asked , "I have keys , remember ?" She answered.

She can't break my heart and just come back like this.

Act mean Alex , be mean with her.

"I want that back." I said pointing at the key in her hands , trying to sound cold and mean which is a thing i am not really good at.

She looked away , somehow i felt my words hurt her.

God dammit ! I can't be mean with her.

No you should.

She bit her lip and looked back at me.

That's so tempting , tell her not to do that when i am mad at her , because it will make me drop the mean act.

I shook those thoughts away,"What are you doing here ?" I asked , trying to hide the feelings that invaded me by just seeing her now.

"I .."

"If you came to break my heart more , then let me tell you there ain't no pieces left." I said interrupting her , "And if you came to take your house keys back , then take them ,I don't care."

"Alex no , i.."

"I can't believe that what we have meant nothing to you." I said feeling all the pain again.

"Alex , I came to.."

"Did you not ever thought about our future or anything, i mean i was never the one to think about these sh*ts but with you it felt right , but of course you didn't even consider it." I said my voice raising , interrupting her again.

"Was it easy on you to play with my feelings like that ?" I snapped.

"Alex listen , i wanted.."

"Oh my god , you make me sound like a girl whenever i talk." I said shaking my head .

This girl really get me whipped.

"No listen i have.."

"How could.." I was about to say but she placed her hand over my mouth shutting me, her eyes glaring at me.

"Oh my god , shut up ! I love you , you stupid human being." She said raising her voice taking me way off the guard.

"What ? " I asked feeling my eyes will pop out any second, my voice came muffled because of her hand that is still over my mouth.

I removed it , "You love me ?" I asked still holding her hand.

She nodded , a small beautiful smile crawled to her face , "And if your proposal is still valid , then my answer is yes."

My eyes widened more and i couldn't interpret what was happening at the moment.

"You .. Wait you said .. You want to .. You accept.. You want to marry me ?" I said , for unknown reason I couldn't form a normal complete sentence.

Her lips formed a smirk ,"I don't know what messed up children we gonna have, but yeah , i want to marry you." The smirk changed into a genuine smile as she muttered the last sentence.

I couldn't help but smile as well.

I thought i lost her.

I kept staring at her eyes trying to let it sink in , let the happiness that rushed in my veins settle for a while.

"You should probably kiss me now." She said raising an eyebrow.

I chuckled, my mind was totally blocked out that I forgot that.

I inched closer , i cupped her face with my hands before crashing my lips over hers.

She smiled against my lips , then wrapped her hands around my neck.

Everything happened hours ago faded as the only thing i can concentrate on now is my lips over hers.

Is this a dream ? Because if it is , I don't want to wake up.

She placed one of her knees on the couch trying to level herself with me as i deepened the kiss.

She inched closer , her knee bumped exactly where Katherine kicked me hours ago.

Sh*t ! This is definitely not a dream.

"Sh*t !" I said pulling away.

"Oh my god ! I am so sorry." Cara said placing her hand over her mouth , her eyes widened as she noticed what happened.

"Look, about the children thing , I don't think i will be able to make children anymore." I said closing my eyes wincing in pain.

Damn you Katherine !

"Sorry about that too." Cara said biting her lip looking guilty.

"You have a pretty strong friend." I said trying to sit but failing.

Which reminds me , how did Cara suddenly change her mind about us.

"Wait wait , did Katherine kick your aśs , so that's why you accepted marrying me ? " I said, my eyes widened , Katherine would definitely do that.

"No." She said and shook her head , "She just kicked some sense into my mind."

"I was afraid of taking this step." She said , i felt her facial expression changing and I didn't like it.

"You're still afraid ?" I asked.

She shook her head , the smile back to her face. "No , because if you break my heart ,Katherine will break your balls."

"They're already broken." I said looking down , "My babies."

Cara chuckled , her laughter voice is a thing i want to always hear for the rest of my life.

And I will.

"Say that you love me again." I said winking. I want to hear it again.

She shook her head , "Come on , i am leaving tonight." I said frowning.

"You're going with Ashton ?" She asked frowning.

"Yeah ,but I will come in two days." I said ,"Come cuddle with me before I go."

"What are you ? Five ? " she said raising an eyebrow.

"Maybe you didn't hear me well." I said clearing my throat , "Come cuddle with me .. Naked ? "

I wiggled my eyebrows liking the idea ,"Yes or yes ? What'd you say cupcakes ?"

"We're almost getting married , when you will stop calling me cupcakes?" She asked irritated.

"Well let's see ," I said rubbing my chin as if i am thinking about it , "Today is Friday, tomorrow is Saturday.. Um never."

She shot me a glare while i smiled innocently , "You're so funny you know that !" She said meaning the exact opposite of her words.

"I've been told that few times." I said while she kept glaring at me.

"Come sleep beside me ." I said moving a bit , "But there is no space." She said pointing at the small space left for her.

"That's the point baby." I said winking.

She shook her head annoyed by my stupid comment , then tried to lay down beside me.

I wrapped my arms around her pressing her back against my front.

I buried my face in her neck enjoying the fact that this woman,that i freaking love so much , is going to be my wife.

"You smell so good." I mumbled pulling her even closer toward me.

"Alex , sleep." She said then turned her head to face me.

Her face was so close , our noses touching, one small move and our lips would touch again.

"Sleep is such a waste for my sexual abilities." I said shaking  my head , "Not that i can do anything now."

She smiled at my comment.

Oh God ! I love this smile.

She turned her head and snuggled deeper toward me , her hands went and held mine.

"Oh my god ! " she gasped ,"What happened to your hand ?"

Sh*t ! I totally forget about that.

She looked at me with her eyes wide , her finger gently caressing the bruises on my hand.

"I don't get angry very often , but when i do , it's not so pretty." I said , she looked pained just by seeing my hand like this.

She traced her fingers above it gently , then she brought it to her lips and kissed where the bruises is.

I smiled feeling my heart warm up. She definitely knows how to heal my pain.

A moment of silence settled between us. It was comfortable though , since i am holding her in my arms , I don't think i would ask for anything more.

"Why you always wear this hand band over your wrist ?" Her question came out of the blue , and when I felt her removing the band from my wrist , I flinched, "No , don't !"

My voice was louder and harsher than it should be.

"I am sorry." I said apologizing for snapping at her like that , i turned her in my arms , that I would be face to face with her.

My eyes traveled to the band over my wrist and i got relieved when i saw that she didn't remove it , i looked back at her, she looked shocked at my sudden change in behavior.

"It's just.." I started to explain but didn't know what to tell.

Find a lie Alex.

Come on , find something.

"It's just..it's special to me." I lied and I didn't know if she bought it or not , but she nodded her head anyway.

I leaned closer and took her lips in mine trying to change the subject and shake those thoughts away.

"Tell me you love me again." I said closing my eyes , "I want it to be the last thing i hear before i sleep."

I heard her let a sigh , I involuntary smiled , i love teasing her a lot.

"If you dreamt about me , just remember that I like it rough." I said then opened one of my eyes and peeked on her , a small smile on her face as she was looking back at me.

Feeling sleep taking over me , i closed my eyes again , "I love you." I mumbled.

After a short while, i felt her snuggling deeper toward me , she placed her head over my chest , her hand went toward my waist.

"I love you too." She said.

I smiled.

She did it.

It was the last thing i heard before drifting to sleep.

*********************************

Sorry for not updating earlier , but i was moving out and I didn't have internet.

Anyway , I'll try to update more often from now on so i can finish the story before my university. Hopefully.

And i was thinking about the last few chapters ,like last three to four chapters and they are pretty sad i felt like crying *sigh* , can't wait to write them 😂😂

Hope u liked this chapter ,comment and vote😊

Love ya❤️