Six

It was a whole hour before Cameron and I stopped reading biology and I let him out. The sky had darkened so that it was pitch-black outside, and a few stars were twinkling. I couldn't tell which of them were airplanes and which formed the constellations.

I spent a long time cleaning up my things after he'd left, thinking about what he'd taught me today and trying to figure out how I'd juggle my homework after Clare and Maddie went to bed. I really had to work on bills, which would likely keep me up until at least midnight, but I couldn't not do my homework.

I thought of Cameron's disappointed expression if I went to school without my assignments completed, receiving more zeroes on my grade card, and became resigned. I'd stay up all night if I had to, so long as I finished what I had to do.

Quietly, I climbed the steps and opened the door to Maddie and Clare's room, careful not to disturb them in case they were sleeping. But both of them were sitting up in bed--the lamp on their nightstand was even still on.

"You know it's way past your bedtime, especially you, Maddie," I said, walking in and sitting down on the bed. Maddie was yawning tiredly, but Clare was glaring at me resolutely.

"Why did you have to lie?" she asked, crossing her arms. Her stare deepened. "Cameron's so nice, and you had to lie to him."

I looked her over: her innocent eyes and her youthful face affected by what had happened to both of her parents, exposed to things nobody her age should have been. I pulled her into a hug and said, "We can't let anyone know, Clare, you know that."

"Why'd you have to pretend like Mommy was still alive?" she whimpered. I could feel tears staining my shirt, and when I looked down, I saw that she was crying.

This set Maddie off, too, even though she was too young to remember Mom very well, and before I knew it, both of them were sobbing uncontrollably.

"It's okay!" I exclaimed, even though is wasn't. I gathered Maddie into my arms too and held them both close as they cried. Right then, I too wanted to break down and let out all of my stress and worries and problems. But I knew I couldn't. Not in front of my little sisters. I was the only parent figure they had left, and I had to stay strong.

"Do you want me to read you a story?" I asked them, smoothing down their hair. Maddie sniffed loudly and nodded, her head grazing my arm, but Clare stayed silent. "Go pick one out," I said, nudging her.

Clare was still crying, but she obediently went over to the bookshelf and selected a book. I had filled the shelf with all the books I had read as a little girl, and just looking at them made me think of Mom and Dad and the story time we used to have when I was little and Clare was a baby. Why would Maddie never get that?

Moments later, Clare returned with a book I'd read countless times with Mom. I settled myself on the bed, leaning against the headboard, read the title. "I'll Love You Forever," I said, opening the book and flipping past the title page.

By the time I got to the end, there was a lump in my throat and my heart was heavy, but my sisters had stopped crying and Maddie was sound asleep. Clare was still awake, her eyes wide as I shut the book and set it on the pink bedspread beside me.

"Why aren't you tired yet?" I asked her, stretching and yawning. Even I was starting to get drowsy, and I still had the bills to work on and my homework to do. I wondered how much I could get done on the bus ride tomorrow. "You need to get to sleep."

Clare rubbed her eyes and said, "I like Cameron. He's like my older brother. Can he come over more often?"

"Of course he can." I kissed the top of her head and picked her up, laying her on her back beside Maddie. "Go to sleep. You have to get lots of rest for tomorrow."

I kissed her and Maddie good night, then switched off the lamp and crept out of the room. The quiet breathing of my two little sisters reached me even from the doorway--I smiled to myself and shut the door softly.

~*~*~

I fell asleep at my desk again that night while doing homework and woke up at five o'clock the next morning frantic. I'd gotten through the bills, which had managed to worry me as always, but I was only halfway finished with my homework.

Scrambling, I finished my math worksheet and then read my chapter in history, keeping an eye on the clock. The bus arrived at seven twenty-five, which meant I still had time to get everything done as long as I planned right...

An hour later, I'd finished my homework. I hurried to get dressed and then started in on breakfast before waking Maddie and Clare up.

"Are we going to ride in the convertible to school?" was the first thing Clare said as she woke up. She was already wide awake and full of energy, swinging her legs off the bed and hurrying to the closet to pick out her outfit.

"It depends on if we run into Cameron on the way to the bus stop. Hurry up and get ready, I've already started breakfast."

I helped Maddie out of bed and got her dressed before running downstairs to make sure the toast hadn't burned. Even though I'd barely gotten any sleep, I felt strangely awake and refreshed, like I had a block removed from on top of my shoulders.

We ate quickly and then I took each of my sisters by the hand, ushering them out of the house and into the sunny morning. I found myself watching for a silver convertible as we started down the street and crossed the road to the bus stop.

Sure enough, Cameron's car was parked at the end of the road we were on, almost as if he were waiting for us. I smiled and helped Maddie and Clare into the backseat, then climbed in beside him. He had the radio turned up and the top down.

"Good morning, lovely ladies," he said as I closed the car door. He steered away from the curb and said, "To school?"

Maddie and Clare began chattering excitedly with Cameron, but my phone rang, so I answered it and pressed it up to my ear.

"Miss Evelyn Caverly?" asked a crisp voice on one end of the line.

I wrinkled my nose. "Yes, that's me."

"We just wanted to let you know that your car is ready."

My car! I tucked my hair behind my ear and absentmindedly began twisting my shirt around my finger. "Can I pick it up today around five?" I asked. Katie would understand that I needed to leave work early.

The voice conceded, so I hung up and then turned back around to my sisters, relieved. I still hadn't gotten used to the idea of riding with Cameorn. "I'm going to pick up our car after work today," I told them--their faces fell instantly. "Now we don't have to bother Cameron anymore with driving us places."

"But I like it when he takes us places," whined Maddie, leaning forward in her seat to look at Cameron. I noticed he had a satisfied smirk on his face. "Can't he keep driving us around?"

Cameron opened his mouth, probably to agree, but I hastened to interrupt before he could say anything. "Sit back in your seat, Maddie," I said tersely. "And it would be rude to keep asking him to take us everywhere. He has a life, too. Don't you miss your carseat and our car?"

"I like being a big girl and riding without one," she said stubbornly.

Rolling my eyes, I crossed my arms and faced forward again. We'd already reached the elementary school carpool line. "Hurry up," I told them when they lingered in Cameron's car, clearly reluctant to leave. "Cameron and I have to get to class, too."

Clare muttered something about me being cranky, but she obeyed and climbed out of the car before I had to tell her again.

"I really don't mind driving you places," said Cameron when the car door shut and he started off towards the high school parking lot. "It's sort of fun."

I thought about how expensive fixing our car would be, and how much easier it would be if I could just sell it and rely on Cameron--but I knew I couldn't. That would be overstepping. After all, he was just my tutor, and it had been really nice to help me while I'd been in this tight spot, but I couldn't let him help me anymore. "Thanks," I said, focusing on staring out the window so I didn't have to meet his eyes, "but it'll be fine. Mom and Dad will be home anyway, and I won't need to worry about being three places at once."

When I glanced over, I saw that Cameron had taken his pool-blue eyes off the road and was studying me with an expression of either curiousity or fondness. I couldn't decide which, but I guessed he was just fascinated by my situation. I was probably like a science experiment to him: what would happen first? Would Evelyn break down or would her parents come back?

Since my parents weren't coming back, I knew it was the first option.

It was only after I realized that the car was stopped and Cameron was still staring at me that I blushed, and he cleared his throat. "You can go on and get out now," he said. "And I'll park the car."

I was surprised when I looked around and saw that he had pulled up in front of the high school. Avoiding looking at him, I grabbed my backpack from where it was sitting at my feet and slid out of the car. "Thanks again for the ride," I mumbled.

He raised his hand in half a wave and headed for the parking lot. Hitching my backpack higher on my shoulder, I headed inside the school building and tried not to keep replaying the way his eyes had looked when they had stared into my own.

I figured the reason I walked into math in half a daze was that I was exhausted. I hadn't had any coffee this morning, and staying up all night fretting over the bills and my grades was sure to get to me. I'd found myself trying to calculate how many A's I'd need to bring each of my failing grades up to a pass, and the answer had not been good. I wondered if it was too late in the year to change anything.

What if I actually didn't pass eleventh grade? Not only would that be terrible for my college transcripts (which I would probably never need, because I had no time for college), but it would delay me being able to get a full-time job to support Maddie and Clare. My college funds were slowly emptying, and I knew my job at the ice cream store wasn't enough.

What was it like for Cameron to have that plush silver convertible and to be able to hand off a twenty-dollar bill, casual as anything?

Once I handed in my math homework and took a seat, Mr. Roberts told the class to take out a pencil and paper and prepare to take notes. After rifling through my backpack for a few moments, I found the blue mechanical pencil Cameron had used during our first tutoring session. Rolling it back and forth between my fingers, I imagined a spot on it warmer than the rest.

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