Hey! Yep, it's me. Celosia. I guess I should warn all readers beforehand that I have a slow slow update rate. Just warning.

Well, now it's on to the second chapter.

Oh, and the pic above is of Jonathan Black

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Thunder rumbled above, crackles of lightning distinct. Flashes of bright light flooded his vision- Blue, Black, Red. Fear was palpable in the air. Suffocating. He took deep breaths, heart racing. A deafening gunshot and a pain filled scream that came after echoed. He choked in horror, emotions running wild inside him. Another shot, and another scream rang soon after. He brought his knees closer, tears streaming freely. The silence was deafening, but he dared not to break it.

It was dark when he finally woke up with a hollow felling in his chest. Antonio blinked blearily and sat up, looking up to face the clock on the wall in front of him. He squinted against the dark in an attempt to read the time. 3:15... in the morning...

He groaned in annoyance, dropping back down to the bed. It's too early to be awake... Antonio whined mentally. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to count sheep behind his closed eyelids.

1 black sheep, 2 black sheep jumping, He shifted restlessly in hopes to find a comfortable position. 3 black sheep, 4 black sheep falling, He scowled at the odd feeling on his left cheek, which had been pressed against the rough pillow since he fell asleep. Antonio immediately blamed it for his lack of sleep.

He snuggled back into the pillow in hopes to mimic the position he fell asleep in, but it never felt right. He was ready to give up, when he suddenly felt a gnawing feeling in his stomach. He frowned in confusion- it was not the same as the 'strange' feeling- before his eyes widened in realization.

Just as he understood, his stomach decided to let out a cry for its demands, blaming the kid for not feeding it. Antonio moaned in embarrassment, covering his face with his hands momentarily.

He decided to go and fetch food for himself, since it's too early for the meager staff to be awake.

Trepidation crawled to his chest as he crept through the silent hallway and stairs. The walls looked bigger, scarier, than what it was supposed to be. He flinched at every sound made and he almost sighed in relief when he reached the ground floor.

From therein, he resolutely walked across the playroom and past the office, towards the kitchen. He opened the door slightly and slid through the crack. He went past the sitting area and started rummaging through the cabinets in search for some edible treats.

Nope... Nah... Nothing here... Ugh, vegetables, Yuck...No ways...

Antonio sighed in annoyance when he found nothing good to eat for an early morning snack. His stomach expressed its own annoyance by letting out another loud growl. It's like the orphanage caretakers wanted them to starve or something!

He suddenly heard light chuckling from behind him and he whipped his head toward the direction of the sound.

"Easy there squirt. Don't want to get a whiplash, do you?" The person said grinning.

Oh, it's annoying 'John' guy again. Antonio growled in frustration. He huffed angrily before turning back around and rummaging the cabinets again.

"Hey, I know where some of the pastries are kept, if you want some?" John called out, smiling pleasantly.

Antonio pretended to ignore him as Jonathan made his way to one of the upper cabinets and took out a set of keys. Antonio peaked a glance from the corner of his eyes and saw John opening the sealed fridge. He tried to hide the overwhelming grin that threatened to overtake his face at the sight of all the delicious treats presented to him.

"So, Tony, which one would you like to have?"

Antonio snapped out of his revere at the sound of his 'nickname' coming out from the man's mouth.

What's wrong with his name anyways? 'Antonio' with an accent on the 'A' when speaking. He liked it like that. 'Tony' is just a horrible English nickname people thought he liked being called by. Antonio grumbled inwardly as he shook his head. "No, I want nothin from you," he declared.

John skeptically raised an eyebrow at that. He sighed and turned back, rummaging through the cabinet.

"Where is it....? Urg, I know it's in there somewhere... Yes!"

Antonio fumbled to catch a packet thrown at his way suddenly.

"Here, don't wanna see you starving now, do we?" John smiled brightly.

Antonio stared blankly for a while, before nodding hastily. Shooting a brief glare of suspicion, he tuned and rushed out of the room.
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Antonio hated Saturdays out of all the days. Honestly, who'd like it when strangers come and look down upon them like they're some worthless piece of trash? Oh, he has heard of all the 'pity' and 'niceness' they shown for the orphanage. Such caring souls, he sneered in disgust.

He looked around to the multitude of orphans around him, gathering around this one woman. Dully, he observed the enraptured children eagerly hanging on every word she spoke. It was truly sickening to see all of them trust a stranger's words.

At least it meant no one would try to talk with him today, he mentally cheered in faux optimism. He sighed, leaning his head back on the wall.

He closed his eyes, subconsciously bringing his knees closer to his chest. He nearly fell asleep in that position, and did not notice when the playroom emptied and he was one of the few left in the room.

"Hey, little guy, wake up." A soft soothing voice called out, shaking his shoulders.

Antonio stirred a small whine escaping as he tried to bat away the disturbance. He blearily opened his eyes and stared at the effeminate figure in front of him, not registering who she was. To him, presence was similar to his own mother. An uncontrollable flood of warmth bloomed inside him.

"Ma," he mumbled, reaching out a hand and grabbing the lady's shirt. 

This is odd; he frowned when he felt the synthetic cloth. His Ma only wore cotton because her skin was very sensitive- it was a trait passed onto him.

Reality caught up and he released the cloth as if burned. Looking at the unfamiliar face wearing the synthetic cloth, he came face to face with the woman who was entertaining the younger orphans earlier.

He couldn't help the hateful scowl that took over his face. Disgusting... He felt anger engulf his whole being, lighting up his eyes in rage. The woman stood in shock at the expression he directed at her, no doubt confused and ignorant of her actions. Antonio did not care, to wrapped up in feeling wronged to notice anything else.

He pushed himself up to his feet, blatantly glaring at the woman once more before walking away. Seriously, he hated this shit- To think he had to handle six to eight more years of this before he is finally free. 

"Tony?" Somebody called out- Jonathan, his mind helpfully filled in- but it did little to appease the growing monster inside him. He just ignored the voice and rushed towards his room.

Everything seemed muddled in his head- thoughts inside him yelling different hateful thoughts at once: Cursing the woman for being in the wrong place at the right time; cursing John for ruining his birth name; cursing the murderers who had killed his beloved family; cursing every single goddamn thing that reminded him of his parents; and cursing all those who were still fine with the world. Because he was not fine.

He slammed open the door to his dorm, glowering at the boy in the other bed. Thankfully, not a word was exchanged before the boy rushed out of the room in fear. As soon as the door closed behind Antonio, he screamed.

He screamed and screamed, because it was just not fucking fair. He screamed till he could no longer do so- till his voice got sore and throat parched, until he was sure everyone in the orphanage could hear him through the flimsy walls. And even then, he ran around the room- pulling the sheets, the toys, and the clothes- anything that made the room resemble a home. Because he just did not care anymore- he never did.

Only after he was done, he collapsed on the floor beside the bed. He gasped in deep breaths, clenching his fists in contained anger. Ignoring the slight trembles wracking through his whole frame, he brought his knees up to his chest. His gaze was adamantly refusing to acknowledge the sight of his mirrored reflection- because he knew what he looked like right now. He knew and he hated it.

He hated the fact that he looked pathetic. His eyes would be red and full of hate, but his body will look frail. Hair mussed and frame small. He would look young- young and useless. He would just see a ten year old boy in agony gazing back at him through the mirror. He would see himself.

So he refused to see what he already has countless of times. He just closed his eyes and ignored everything around him- trying to loose himself into the world of dreams and memories again.

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Whew, it was hard deciding how to end this chapter. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. The picture above is of Jonathan Black. XD

Thanks for reading. Comments and upvotes appreciated.

-Celosia <3 <3
Signing out