sorry i couldn't stay, honey. make sure you eat & love you lots!
-mom

taehyung's eyes ran over the yellow post it on the kitchen table, next to a plate of pancakes. he read the note again, and felt the bitterness wash over him for the millionth time. his mother was always busy; it was as if she wasn't even with him. she'd leave for work early in the morning and come back home by the time taehyung was already asleep, and he knew she didn't want to do it that way, but it didn't stop the sour taste from filling up his lungs whenever he walked into an empty apartment after school.

he always heard her on the phone, calling relatives to ask them to loan them money because she couldn't pay the bills and she didn't have enough cash to buy all of the groceries. taehyung put the note back on the kitchen table and drank the glass of milk that was next to the pancakes.

tae, baby, i'm sorry we don't have anything to eat for tonight.

no mom, it's okay.

go eat at a friend's house, alright?

mom, i'm fine. i promise.

he wrapped up the plate of food in saran wrap and pushed it into their fridge. his mother could eat it later when she needed to.

his doorbell rang merely seconds later, and taehyung closed the fridge and made his way to the door.

"hey jimin."

he shut the door and they went down the stairs, jimin sliding down the metal railing.

"how was work last night?" jimin asked with a hand running through his hair. he had a habit of doing that.

"terrible," taehyung grumbled. "some psycho customer went and broke a bottle of soda on the floor, and i had to clean it up." he pulled a ten dollar bill from his pocket. "this is all i have saved up. months and months of hard work with crazy customers and a dickwad boss, and we're about to lose our shitty little apartment now."

"are you really?"

"my uncle's paying half of this month's rent."

"shit."

"yeah."

they separated to go to their classes once they got inside the school, and taehyung made his way to the back of the chemistry classroom, holding his books in one arm and carrying a binder in the other.

"ayo, tae." hoseok's voice was especially bright; a chirp hitting the ceiling and bouncing off in the room.

"i didn't do the homework. graveyard shift last night." and then taehyung gave him the look he always gave him when he needed homework answers, where he'd raise one eyebrow and do a little half smile where only one eye crinkled at the outer corners. it always worked.

hoseok reached into his backpack.

"sure," he said, and then he waited a beat before sitting back up and zipping up his bag again. "except i didn't do it either."

"hoe, really?"

"at least we fail together."

"hoe."

"sorry."

ہ ہ ہ

the apartment was dark.

cold and dark.

and empty.

and the emptiness only made it feel colder and darker, as if there wasn't enough in the place to block out the darkness.

taehyung dropped his bag onto the kitchen counter and went to his room right away, not bothering to turn on any lights. he slumped into his mattress, fingers brushing over old scars on his left wrist and eyes sliding halfway shut before there were three loud slams on his door.

whoever was at the door hadn't even bothered to ring the doorbell.

"ms. kim!"

the voice was deep. gruff.

angry.

"we need the money you owe!"

taehyung's heart dropped to his feet.

"fucking loan sharks."

he stood up and walked slowly through the kitchen to the front door, unsure of whether or not he was going to go out.

he'd have to reason with them. possibly get on his knees and beg them to give his mother more time if it came to that, because they were in no state to be paying back whatever amount they owed.

he opened the door.

"oh, look at who this is?"

taehyung swallowed hard; his saliva felt like molasses, heavy and sticky going down his throat.

"can we talk about this outside?" taehyung slowly pushed himself from the doorframe into the hall.

"kim tae, we don't need to talk. we need the money. now." his voice was deep and threatening, slowly cutting through taehyung's bones.

"we... we can't."

"can't?" he raised an eyebrow.

taehyung hesitated.

"i... is there any other way to pay you back?"

ہ ہ ہ

taehyung couldn't feel his feet.

the men had beaten him senseless, with their giant, muscular arms and large builds. he was now laying in an alleyway with one eye swollen shut and one rib most definitely fractured.

he tried to sit up and groaned, pain shooting up from his ankle to his neck, literally hitting every single crevice in his body.

"fuck."

a hand grabbed at taehyung's wrist, and he instinctively flinched.

"hey, are you hurt?"

the voice was light but deep and hoarse, all at once.

"can't feel my feet. mind helping me up?"

the boy brought taehyung's arm around his shoulders, which were incredibly tiny even in comparison to taehyung's shoulders, and stood up slowly, stopping when taehyung yelled out.

"son of a bitch!"

"back down?"

"no, up. just do it, i'll live."

the boy stood up a bit more, his back still hunched over.

"oh my fucking god-"

"down?"

"no, no, just stand up- shit!"

the boy seemed confused. he stood up a bit further so that his back was nearly straight.

"do you need to go to the hospital?"

he took a step forward, pulling taehyung with him.

"i don't know," he replied. "does a fractured rib require a doctor?"

"holy shit, a fractured rib? how do you know?"

"been here, done this."

"hospital. let's go."

"shit, no!"

"what the fuck, why?"

"who's gonna pay for it, huh?"

"oh my god, are you trying to die?"

"yeah, lowkey," taehyung laughed bitterly. "just take me to the old apartment building at the way end of this street."

the boy looked skeptical. "if you die, it's not my fault."

"if i die, it doesn't fucking matter," taehyung said. "just shut up and walk."

the boy smirked, scoffing a bit as they approached taehyung's apartment building.

"you need help up the stairs?"

"no, all good. thanks for the help."

the boy smiled then, his first real smile directed to taehyung. it would be all taehyung thought of that night, because his smile was blinding, and so incredibly bright. it held light and dark, and suffering and happiness, and stars and plain black space all in one little gesture.

god, it was so fucking beautiful .

"i'm yoongi, by the way."

"taehyung. see you around."

taehyung closed the door and started up the stairs thinking that that would be the first and last time he saw that blinding, contradictory smile.

but isn't life an unpredictable thing?