Title: Zoe, the Witch of Innocence by High_Priestess_Elena
Series: The Five Cursed Witches (book one)
Source (1): Blossom Awards 2024 by TheBlossomCommunity_
Category: Fantasy
Mature: Y (death, magical torture/violence/abuse, smut, suicidal thoughts)
LGBTQIAP+: N
Status: Complete
Round 1: 35/40, did not progress to round 2

Source (2): Zelicaon Awards by -Chrysalis_Realm
Category: Fantasy
Special note (judging): I had 3 books from this category, and the other judges (nkvenus7878 and dead_poet_7) had 6 and 5 books, respectively.
Result: 96/100 (2nd place)

Clicking the "External Link" button below the "Continue to next part" button will take you straight to the book, or click the link in the inline comments here. →

*****

Round 1 total (Blossom Awards 2024): 35/40

Title: 10/10
I like the title, but I wish there was a way to have a subtitle on Wattpad, so you could separate "Zoe, the Witch of Innocence" from the rest of the title. The title is too long to fit on the screen this way. That's not your fault, so I'm still giving this a 10. It catches my attention, and the part I can't read is visible on the cover, so it's fine.

Blurb/synopsis: 8/10
So, the first thing I notice about the blurb is the repetitive sentence structure in the first paragraph. The first three sentences are all "part 1, part 2," and it gets a little boring. Don't be afraid to play around with sentence structure. Switching it up a little will help you catch and hold the reader's attention. The last two sentences need a little work, anyway, so working on them may lead you to fix the entire paragraph. For literal fixes, the third and fourth sentences have phrasing issues and a missing comma: "It's a curse she would do anything to get rid of, but her coven considers it to be their best weapon. They have asked her, from time to time, to kill potential threats to the coven, and it is time for her to do it again." But, as I said, it would be really helpful for you to play around with varying sentence structure.

Comma placement is your main issue in the second paragraph. Using an editing tool that supports your English usage would help you fix that pretty easily, and it may help you when you're playing around with sentence structure, too. But, this is interesting, and it gets me curious, and I 100% support the content warning, so, good start. I want to read on.

Cover: 9/10
I'm giving this a 9 because "The Five Cursed Witches: Volume 1" isn't on the cover. It would take some rearranging to fit it all on there, but it's important, so I think it should be included somehow. But, otherwise, the colors, image, font, everything goes together really nicely.

First chapter (and everything that came before it): 8/10
The author's note gets me curious about this story, and all the following ones, so that's good. It does have a few misspellings ("tiredlessly" should be "tirelessly," "intrugied" should be "intrigued"), and some phrasing/wording issues. For example, the first sentence of the third paragraph could be a smoother read: "Each of the different volumes will focus on a new set of characters (the last one being an exception)." There are also a few verb/noun disagreements, like in the third sentence of that paragraph, it should be "there is information" instead of "there are information." Just little things that having someone proofread behind you or using an editing tool would catch.

I skipped the "Accolades" because I don't want my judging to be influenced by the opinions of others, but kudos!

I've come across another story recently that does this sort of one-line intro to different sections of the story, and I kind of like it. My only thing, and maybe I'll find out differently in the story, is that this line feels like a verse from a song or a poem? If that's the case, splitting it up into three lines might look better. But I'm not a poet, and it's up to you:

"The witch surrounded by death

that shuns all the rest

shall be awoken by innocence"

Moving on, I like the prologue. The light-hearted, almost childlike glee of the faerie, who is absolutely more powerful than the witch and in total control of the situation, comes across loud and clear. I do think you could play around with sentence structure here again, although in this specific section, I think you should combine sentences instead of splitting them up. Some of the shorter sentences almost feel like incomplete sentences, although they aren't. For example, the first paragraph could be something like this: "Rheseis giggled at the expression of the woman in front of her: wide eyed with a slightly open mouth, her hands trembling where they rested on the notebook on her desk." I also removed extra "slights" and "slightlys" because there were three instances in this paragraph, which gets repetitive and boring, so you want to be careful about that with your adverbs and adjectives. There are also little phrasing/tense issues again, as I've noted before, but this definitely catches my interest, which is exactly what you want it to do.

(Also, a little aside, I'm picturing Rheseis as Tinker Bell right now.)

Something I haven't noted before now, but really gets on my OCD nerves, is capitalization in chapter titles. I am a person who thinks each word of the chapter title should be capitalized, with the exception of words that aren't usually (a, an, the, prepositions). But you're not the only person I've seen who doesn't do that, so I'll chalk it up to personal preference, but I will say that whichever way you choose should remain consistent. So, if you're only capitalizing the first letter of the first word, then this should be "The faerie's curse." I only mention that because I noticed that you vary how you capitalize other chapters, and I wasn't sure you realized you'd done it. Just doing the same thing throughout would remove that distraction from someone like me. Also, I think a colon should go after "Chapter 1" and before "The Faerie's Curse" (or "The faerie's curse," whichever you decide to go with).

But, getting into the actual chapter, this is amazing. I can see you've definitely taken more time with it than you did anything previous, and it just flows. There are a few little word/phrasing things here or there, but not as many as before, and your dialogue is excellent. A lot of people really struggle with dialogue, but you don't. Your descriptions are fantastic, and you immediately bring the reader into Zoe's mind and heart so we feel her sadness before we even really know her. Everything just draws us in further, until we know what the last sentence of the chapter will be, what the outcome for that happy family in the picture will be, but it's still heartbreaking when we actually read that last sentence. Great job. I love this, and it makes me want to read on.

*****

Note to host and participant in judging document:
First up, I should say that I've judged this book before (in Blossom Awards 2024 by @TheBlossomCommunity_), but I only read through the first chapter at that time because this book didn't progress to the second round (which was sad, because this was one of my favorites). I am rereading everything and reevaluating my previous feedback for these awards, and I'll be reading through chapter five as well. If feedback is the same, I'll note that here.

Rubric (Zelicaon Awards):
- Basic introduction (cover, title, and description): 20
- First impression (first few chapters): 10
- Story mechanics (plot and characters): 30
- Grammar and vocabulary: 20
- Writing style (including pacing): 20
Total: 100

*****

Total (Zelicaon Awards): 96/100 (2nd place)

Basic introduction (cover, title, and description): 18/20
I provided feedback for this in the Blossom Awards 2024 and it appears there have been no major changes made since that time, so I'll copy/paste that feedback here with some edits.

Title: I like the title, but I wish there was a way to have a subtitle on Wattpad, so you could separate "Zoe, the Witch of Innocence" from the rest of the title. The title is too long to fit on the screen this way. That's not your fault, and I definitely prefer the series name and book number in that series being included in the title, so I'm not docking any points for length. The title catches my attention, and the part I can't read is visible on the cover, so it's fine.

Blurb: Overall, this is an interesting blurb that gets a potential reader curious, which is what you want, of course. Having the content warnings right up front is also a very nice touch. It's always frustrating to me when I get several chapters into a book and then hit something that I really can't read for one reason or another, and I'm sure others run into that problem, too, so the content warning is much appreciated.

Anyway, there are a few things you could tweak here or there in the blurb, but nothing major. I noted previously the repetitive sentence structure in the first three sentences of the first paragraph (part 1, part 2), which can get a little boring, but it's less of an issue this go round. I'm not sure if you made any edits there, or if my opinions have shifted. Who knows. As far as some specific recommendations, in the third sentence, you don't need "that," and in the fourth sentence, I'd simplify "has become" to "is" and change "it" to "that." Then, in the first sentence of the second paragraph, I'd change "that" to "who," since we're talking about a person here. For the last sentence, I think merging with the previous sentence using an em dash would really notch up the punch value: "...to Zoe—that is, until she looks into the eyes..."

Cover: I'd like to see the series title on the cover, but it's long, and the title of this book is long, so it would be really tricky to work that in here without making this feel too cluttered. Other than that, I think the leaves on the corners should be a little brighter to add more definition to this. But, otherwise, the colors, image, font, everything goes together really nicely.

First impression (first few chapters): 10/10
I let it slip up above that this was one of my favorite books in the Blossom Awards 2024, and that was just from me reading the prologue and first chapter. It still holds true. I really like this. The contrast in the prologue between the faerie and the witch is immediately intriguing. I said before that the faerie has a light-hearted, almost childlike glee, and she does, but she's also cunning and immensely powerful. She takes charge of the situation, and there is no questioning her or denying her demands. The witch can't compete. And there's so much mystery going on here that just begs the reader to continue the story and find the answers to explain the strange dynamic here.

Then we move into the first chapter, and there's an immediate implied tie-in with the prologue in the form of Zoe's inexplicable faerie curse. I could continue, except the rest of my detailed feedback probably works better in the categories below. But suffice it to say that it was really easy for me to keep clicking to the next chapter, and I finished the first five chapters far too quickly.

Story mechanics (plot and characters): 30/30
Obviously, the prologue sets the stage for the first chapter and our introduction to Zoe's curse, and you set the conflict up immediately. Zoe is a kind, caring person who longs to touch something, anything, without killing it, and it hurts her that she can't do that. She's lonely. And her coven views her as nothing more than a tool to eliminate their enemies. She's trapped in a life she hates because she won't risk her father's life by refusing the coven's orders.

So, there's plenty going on with Zoe's character, of course. Her backstory, her mother's death, past hits, emotional despair—she's already a very well-rounded, fleshed-out character. But you also do a great job with every other character. The faerie and the witch in the prologue. Zoe's father. The Priestess and Scarlet. The Librarian. None of them are flat, 2D, indistinct extras. They're all 3D people with distinct personalities, and they're all memorable to the reader as soon as you introduce them.

Then there's the worldbuilding you have going on here. I love how you're integrating your complex magical world into real places in a real time. This is not some vague world unrelated to ours. This is in South Carolina, USA. But your lore is deep, and every chapter adds more detail, more color to the painting. Faeries, witches, covens, hundred- and thousand-year-old people, the Librarian, magic, witchhunters—and it's all related in such a calm, matter-of-fact way. None of it seems fantastical at first glance. This is just the way it is. To Zoe, there's nothing abnormal about it, and it's easy for the reader to accept that, while this is a world entirely different to ours, it's still somehow real and relatable.

Grammar and vocabulary: 18/20
For the most part, this is very clean writing. There were some specific suggestions I noted the last time I read this, and it looks like you've cleaned all of that up. The only misspelling I found was in chapter 5 where you use "spin" when you mean "spine," and there were only two word swaps I found (chapter 2, "laying" should be "lying," and chapter 3, "conscious" should be "conscience"). You could potentially add more commas here or there, and sometimes the phrasing is a little awkward, but nothing really major is going on. I did notice you use "that" and "had" maybe a little more than necessary, so that would be something to keep an eye on. And I only noticed that because I just found out that I use those words a little too often in my writing, so I'm really looking out for them now.

Writing style (including pacing): 20/20
I feel like I've pretty much covered this in the previous sections. You have a very clean, clear, engaging writing style that makes this story very easy to read and binge. The way you divulge info in little crumbs here or there instead of massive info dumps is great, your dialogue is natural, and your descriptions are wonderful as well. I can picture the story, and I can relate to Zoe, even though I obviously don't bear the power to kill with a single touch.

Just a random thought I had, when she's in the cafe and that guy hits on her, she mentions that her covering up so much might be part of her unintended allure. That was actually a trick employed by geishas in the past. When someone consistently covers most of their body, even the slightest flash of skin can be really sensual, like seeing a geisha's wrist when she's pouring tea. It's an interesting concept, because normally, we think showing a lot of skin is more sensual than dressing modestly. So. Anyway. Fun fact for the day.