YUKHEI

mark scoots closer to him on his bed. yukhei's leg, which hangs pensile in the air, is now pressed against his brother's back.

"tell me what happened."

"i found out something i shouldn't have."

mark turns to glare at yukhei. "i'm serious. tell me everything. i want to help."

he sighs and closes his eyes. "...i found out who my soulmate is today."

"you did?!" a grin slowly spreads onto mark's face. "who is she? is she that one girl who--"

"it's jungwoo."

mark freezes. it takes him a few seconds to process it, but once he does, his grin of elatement falls, and a gentle, comforting smile takes its place. "that's okay."

burying his head in his hands, yukhei lets out a small noise of frustration. "i know!"

even though he can't see his brother's face, yukhei knows that mark is furrowing his eyebrows. "then what's bothering you?"

"i don't know!" yukhei knots his hair with his fingers and tugs on it--a habit he had formed as a kid. "it's just... something's off."

"elaborate."

"something is missing, something feels wrong. god, mark, i don't know what's happening today."

"are you okay?"

yukhei shakes his head. mark rests a hand on his shoulder and swipes the pad of his thumb across the blade in some sort of comforting gesture.

they sit there in silence, mark waiting for yukhei to finally speak. and when he does, mark listens.

"i don't know why i ran away," yukhei begins weakly, voice catching in his throat. he swallows the bad taste in his mouth and continues. "i think i was scared. and confused. and... i feel awful. i told him i wasn't gay. i basically told him to get out of my life."

"jungwoo looked more upset than i've ever seen him," mark says, prompting a long sigh from yukhei. "but i'm sure he'll understand."

"that's the thing. i know he will, and i feel even worse about that because he's so easily forgiving."

mark says nothing. yukhei falls backward once more, his back hitting the mattress with a soft thump.

"you never told me why you left hong kong," mark says suddenly.

"didn't i?"

mark shakes his head and stares at his brother expectantly. yukhei closes his eyes.

"what have i told you about my father?"

"bits and pieces."

"my father was one of the most hateful men on the earth. he did nothing but break me down since i was young. he told me how to think and act, and i went along with it." yukhei pauses and takes a deep breath. "i had an older brother. he dated a boy when he was really young as some joke or something, but when my dad found out, he kicked him out. i haven't seen him or heard from him since i was three, and once i realized how bad the situation was, i knew that i would never cross my father."

"wow."

"have i ever mentioned someone named sicheng?"

"yeah, a few times."

"he's basically a brother to me. we became friends in school, and once he realized what my dad was doing, he told me how bad it was and got me out. i stayed with him for a bit, and my life started to improve. when i turned fourteen, he sent me to school in korea because he knew i'd have a better chance of avoiding my dad there."

mark just stares.

"your family fostered me and eventually adopted me. i made friends with everyone at school. ...you know the rest," yukhei finishes. he shuts his eyes once more and doesn't open them again..

"xuxi, i..."

"my dad told me that being gay was an abomination. he told me that my soulmark was too hideous for anyone to ever love me. he told me that i would... that i would never find love." yukhei blabbers. "and i guess, on some subconscious level, i'm still afraid he'll hurt me again if he finds out everything now."

mark lies down next to yukhei and wraps his arms around the boy. the position is awkward, and mark's hands probably hurt from bending at such an odd angle, but yukhei finds it incredibly sweet.

"i found my soulmate."

"yeah?" a lazy grin spreads onto yukhei's face. "who is it?"

"donghyuck," mark says. yukhei looks over at his brother in surprise and is met with the sight of a dark blush on mark's face. "he doesn't know. i saw his soulmark, and it matched mine, so..."

"you should tell him," yukhei says. mark parrots his brother's earlier expression, eyes widening.

"i thought you didn't like gay people."

"i'm fine with people being gay. i'm fine with... with me being gay. but there's something in my brain that won't stop telling me otherwise," mark's face falls, and yukhei continues. "but i'm not going to listen to it. you need to tell donghyuck that he's your soulmate."

"what if he rejects me? oh, god, what if i'm wrong? what if--"

"mark," yukhei laughs. "even i can tell that donghyuck has been pining over you for a long, long time."

mark pauses. he looks over at yukhei for a few long seconds, eyes fearfully wide. "...really?"

yukhei laughs and nods.

mark lets out a breathy laugh. "i've liked donghyuck since he first sat next to me in the eighth grade," he mumbles, shutting his eyes. he doesn't talk after that, just lies there, and yukhei smiles a bit when the sleeping boy clings to his left arm.

with his free arm, yukhei pulls out his phone and opens his texts one by one. then, he begins to type.

(1s) can i see you tomorrow?

(1s) jungwoo: sure. | slide to reply

yukhei sighs and puts down his phone. he drapes a blanket over mark and burrows under it, laughing quietly when mark unconsciously snuggles even closer to him to conserve warmth.

maybe now he can be the older brother that he never had, he thinks to himself as he drifts off to sleep. maybe things will get better with jungwoo after they meet tomorrow. maybe he'll finally forget about his father.

maybe.

―

xodaniel