I knocked gently on the door trying not to react to the laboured breaths within. When I received no answer I nudged open the door. Steve was sitting on the edge of the bed, back facing the door and head in hands. Laying next to him were two rectangular objects, one of which I instantly recognised as the picture frame from my apartment. The only picture me and Belle have together. The other I couldn't for the life of me figure out.

"Steve are you okay?"

"Hmm. Oh I'm fine." His voice was distant, as if his mind was worlds away from current reality.

"That wasn't believable in the slightest." I approached the bed and Steve's hand shifted to cover the second object. Strange.

"It's nothing, I'm fine."

"Did you go to my apartment?" Steve nodded, still refusing to make eye contact with me. What is wrong with him? "Thank you. I probably wouldn't have been able to get any of that stuff back otherwise."

"Don't worry about it." He tried to smile at me and failed miserably.

"You're hiding something from me." Steve shrugged, dragging his hand across the bed, pulling whatever he was hiding with it. Just as he was about to put it in his pocket I saw a corner of crumpled paper, stained yellow with time.

"What's that?"

"Nothing." He's lying to me.

"Steve what is it?"

"I said it's nothing."

"I would have thought you of all people would know not to hide something from me." Before he knew what I was doing I had his hand pinned against the sheets. A notebook bounced out of his grip, falling to the ground with an almost silent thud. My heart stopped as I saw the familiar, manic writing scrawled across the pages.

He read my journal.

"Where did you find that?"

"Bucky I-"

"Did you read it."

"I didn't know what it was-"

"Yes or no answer Steve did you read it?"

"Yes. Yes I read the damn book." Steve ripped his hand out of my grip and went to pick up the book. I got there first. Taking care not to crush it, I slid it into my pocket.

"You had no right to do that."

"Do you still have the dream?" One glance of those blue eyes told of a lifetime of struggle that had never been put into words. His hand was shaking so much he had to grip the bed. He took my silence as an answer and continued, his voice barely audible.

"Because I do. I see you fall from that damn train night after night, knowing it will never end differently. I thought that was bad enough, being forced to see it over and over again. But knowing you see it too and chose to remember it. I just- I don't-"

Against my better judgement I pulled Steve up and wrapped my arms around him. He seemed to melt into me, his breaths evening out almost instantly. Despite being about an inch taller his head tucked into the crook of my neck. The feeling of his breath against my skin sent shivers down my spine. For lack of better description it felt right.

"I thought I lost you that day."

"I'm sorry. For everything."

"It wasn't your fault Buck. It was mine, if I was actually paying attention instead of- I could have stopped it from happening." I pulled back making sure to catch his gaze, which was hard since he was doing his damn best to avoid me.

"Stop." My tone startled him enough to look at me, his eyes wide with confusion. "What happened that day was not your fault. We can't go back in time and change it, it's just something we will have to live with. I consider myself lucky because I wouldn't be here with you if it wasn't for that fall. In some twisted way Hydra did me a favour. We get to take back the years we lost."

Steve said nothing more, simply pulled me into another hug. Usually I would pull away or make a joke, but I just couldn't bring myself to do so.

Now I know what Belle means when she says hugs feel safe.

---

I was beginning to wonder when I was getting my own pov. Starting to think the author didn't care about poor old Wade Wilson.

Oh shut it Wilson it's not that deep

How about you shut it line!

That's bold and that little ray of sunshine over there is line. I have Francis to thank for their presence...still not sure whether to be grateful or not. Guess it was better than the alternative. Same old story really; Highschool dropout blah blah blah, got diagnosed with cancer aged 17 and turned to a shady guy with some miracle cure for help. You know the rest.

Anyway, I'm not here to give you my whole sob story. No, I am just a plot point in the author's evil schemes.

And oh how evil they are.

Should we be worried?

Nah, I'm sure everything will turn out just fine.

"Wade, are you listening?" Belle tugged on my sleeve, snapping back into reality. The cards were already set out on the table and Belle was holding out a small stack for me too take.

Belle is just too precious.

I agree with you there. I took the stack and the game began. The room was dead silent as cards were thrown onto the table. What game are we playing, I hear you ask. Well after coming to the shocking realisation that Belle had missed out on the joy of family game nights, Peter and I settled to introduce her to the best game ever invented.

"Peter I'm so sorry I have to do this."

"Wade I swear to god don't do it."

"I have to."

"No..."

"Uno."

"Fuck you man." Peter groaned picking up four from the deck. I smiled sweetly at him earning a slap to the arm to which Belle flinched.

Poor kid. Maybe refrain from doing that again Wilson.

Yeah, we don't want to make her uncomfy.

Makes me wonder what she went through at that facility. Bucky can't have always been there looking after her.

Let's not think about that thank you. The readers have already suffered enough angst this chapter. We don't need to give them anymore.

Fair enough.

"Hey you zoned out again." Peter said carefully as he nudged my side.

"Sorry, they were being loud."

"Who were?" Belle asked, cocking her head in confusion. Oh yeah, I forgot she doesn't know about my fucked up powers.

"Bold and line. They're-"

Friends!

The poor souls who had the misfortune of being stuck with you.

"Rude." Belle snorts with laughter and I didn't even bother trying to reclaim my statement.

"Well tell them to stop distracting you. I want to finish the game."

Well now we have to be quiet.

I like belle. She doesn't judge us.

Did you really think she would? She grew up in a hydra base surrounded by test subjects and criminals. Of course she wouldn't judge us.

Don't lie to the readers Wade. They're not stupid.

Look it's my turn can you just be quiet for five minutes.

Fine.

Whatever.

"Sorry Peter, pick up four."

"Aha! I knew you weren't paying attention. I reversed it. Peter doesn't have to pick up four I do. Wait! Wait that's not fair!" Belle's face fell as she began counting out her cards. I couldn't hold in my giggles and neither it would seem could Peter.

Belle folded her arms across and glared at me. "Bitch." Who knew you could sound so innocent whilst swearing.

"Hey watch your language!" Belle near enough jumped out of her skin as Bucky appeared behind her. At this point Peter was crying of laughter, practically on the floor with tears in his eyes.

"Bucky I know you did not just say that. You swear like a sailor."

"You know what! Fuck you Rogers."

"Case and point." Steve winked at us then excused himself to get food. Bucky stared at the floor for a second before running after him. Looks like whatever was on Steve's mind had been forgotten.

"Who knew you had such a bad mouth." Peter teased reshuffling the deck.

"Oh shush and deal out the cards Stark."