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Waking up with a headache was the last thing Taehyung wanted. It felt like someone was breaking plates on his head repeatedly. His head was pounding like crazy. He sat up in the bed to see the water and some pills on the side table. He smiled at the nice gesture from his boyfriend.

He grabbed the glass and put the pills inside his mouth, immediately taking a big sip afterwards. Hopefully this will work soon or Taehyung is literally going to pass out from pain. He got up from the bed and walked towards the bathroom to get freshened up.

Spending a good twenty minutes just doing his business, the skincare routine and all of the other hygienic stuff that he does everyday to maintain this handsome face of his. He has noticed how it has been eerily quiet in the house. Today is an off day for his boyfriend, Jin, so why is no one making any noise?

The question was in his brain so he went outside to see where his boyfriend was. Taehyung looked around the living room to see no one, his eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. He was going to just call Jin when he heard a loud sound of something falling from the kitchen. Running to check what happened.

He entered the kitchen to see Jin on the floor, trying to pick up the glass pieces with his bare hands. Taehyung was looking at him in shock.

"What are you doing?? don't touch those with your bare hands, you would bleed-" Before Taehyung could even finish, his claim became true immediately.

Jin winced when his hand accidentally grazed the glass, slitting his finger a bit and now you could see red blood coming out. Taehyung just sighed at him being so careless all of the sudden. He grabbed Jin's arm and made him stand up. Dragging him back to the living room as he made him sit down on the couch while he ran to get the first aid kit.

He came down immediately with the box,sitting next to his boyfriend. He took out the cotton piece and pressed it on his finger which was bleeding out. "You are a doctor, hyung. You should know not to touch broken glass with your bare hands."

"Why do you care, Taehyung?" Jin replied with such a rude tone. Taehyung was puzzled by his reaction. He took the bandit out and put it around his finger before replying.

"Why would I not? you are my boyfriend-"

"Oh so now you remember that I am your boyfriend." Jin scoffed at him, pulling his hand away from Taehyung's lap.

"Did I say something weird when I was drunk yesterday? What is this about? I am so confused right now." Taehyung asked him and Jin looked at him with a strange expression.

"You said fucking a lot and drunk thoughts are always true sober thoughts. What were you doing with your boss yesterday alone on the rooftop?"

"With who? Jeongguk? I..." Taehyung paused, trying to remember what happened as his memory came back in only bits and pieces. He remembers going to the rooftop with Jeongguk, he remembers them talking about something.

"I don't remember much because I was blackout drunk but I am pretty sure we just talked about random stuff,nothing else."

"So you did not cheat on me?" Jin accused him and Taehyung was shocked, he didn't expect such heavy words thrown at him.

"What!?"

"Yes, Taehyung. You thought I was dumb? That I wouldn't know. That boss of yours who has been your friend too, he looks at you like he wants you all to himself and he looks at me as if I'm a rock in your guys's path. Last night he had you in his arms and if it wasn't for me, who knows where he would have taken you and took advantage of your situation!" Jin was yelling at him, saying whatever comes to his mind.

"Stop!! you are already spouting so much bullshit, don't make Jeongguk out to be this weird predator!! he isn't like that. Jeongguk is an angel and I don't like this accusations you are throwing at him,Hyung so please stop none of that is true." Taehyung defended his friend but his boyfriend wasn't too convinced.

"See? even now you are defending him and you want me to believe there is nothing between you guys? oh please. You think I forgot about when you moaned his fucking name in your sleep? oh how I wish that was the first fucking time but it wasn't Taehyung, that was the third time I heard you say it in your sleep but I ignored it again and again. You are having an affair with him behind my back, did you feel no shame? Do you not love me anymore?" Jin ranted to him, throwing his hands in the air in anger.

Taehyung was frozen from what he just heard. He was feeling so much embarrassment and shame that his boyfriend had to hear that. He could feel tears coming into his eyes. He really didn't want this to happen, they were okay before so why did his dreams have to mess it all up.

"Baby,wait listen no you have got it all wrong. I am not cheating on you...at least not physically. I swear it's just.."

"What,Taehyung? What excuse do you have?"

"I have been hiding this from you. For starters I really haven't been involved with Jeongguk, I swear to you I have not even touched him or anything. We are only friends and nothing more, you can even ask him, nothing of that sorts happened last night, I promise you that. The only problems are these dreams I keep having. I have been having...wet dreams about Jeongguk." Taehyung said to him.

"What? But why?? Am I not satisfying you anymore??"

"You are!! I don't know, okay! I don't know why I'm having these dreams about him, it's not like I can control them. I really did not cheat on you,Jinnie please believe me." Taehyung tried to hold his hands but Jin moved away.

"I-i...don't know what to say. this is all fucking weird Taehyung. You shouldn't be having wet dreams about another man when you are with me!! "

"I know!! But what can I even do about it? it's not in my control!" Taehyung yelled back at him, so tired of everything.

"You dont have wet dreams about someone you dont desire,Taehyung. Fuck...I need some space,Taehyung let's take a break. This is all too much, I gotta go." Jin got up from the couch and walked out of the room. He didn't stop despite Taehyung yelling at him to not go but he went and last thing Taehyung heard was the front door being shut.

He drowns in his tears. He doesn't have much of an idea what he is crying for. His and Jin's relationship hasn't been stable for a good while now, with both of them not being able to make time for each other, their sex life barely being there and they haven't been on a date since forever. It was falling apart slowly, it was soon coming.

Taehyung hasn't been alone in a really long time. The reality of it all is hitting him right now. He's sitting here with no one by his side anymore. He looked at the time to see he had to go to work. He can't, he looks like a mess and he doesn't want to give Jeongguk any explanations too now that everything is fucking out. So he took his phone and dialed his number.

Within a few rings, the latter picked up the phone.

"Hello,Taehyung? Where are you? you know you are late right?" Jeongguk said to him.

"I'm calling in s-sick,I'm not f-feeling well to come t-today!!" Taehyung said to him and sniffed,wiping his tears. His voice was shaky too.

"hyung...are you crying? Are you okay? Did something happen??" Jeongguk bombarded him with questions.

"I am alright,sir please mind your own business, I'm hanging up." Taehyung took the anger out on him. He cut off whatever Jeongguk was saying next by hanging up on him.

Taehyung had enough of arguing that one day he just cannot deal with Jeongguk too. So he shut off his phone because he knew he would get calls from his boss after that conversation. He laid down on the couch and stared at the ceiling. His mind spiraled into so many directions.

With multiple 'what ifs' bombarding in his brain and the fear of what his future holds. A break, he called it a break. That's just one last step before you break up. A break is literally a break up if you ask him and he cannot believe Jin just left him like that? over something he has no control over? He understands some parts of his anger but he cannot understand how it is his fault. Does he not trust him?

That's all it comes down to. Trust, there's not enough trust between them, Jin most probably is thinks that these dreams would escalate to change his real desires and Taehyung would cheat on him because of that, he doesn't trust Taehyung self control, he doesn't trust Taehyung around Jeongguk. Now that he thinks about it, Jeongguk has been the only one out of his friends that Jin acts cold with.

There has always been unresolved tension between his best friend and boyfriend that he didn't give a second thought until now. It makes him wonder if Jin always felt this insecure towards Jeongguk. Taehyung has been loyal, he would never cheat. His dreams aren't something he counts as cheating because they are not real. It is crazy that he even has to explain.

He zoned out for a good while. The time went by so fast that he just spent laying on his couch and saying nothing. Exactly 25 minutes later he heard the doorbell ring. Snapping him out of his trance, Taehyung was shocked at how much time he spent here, his cheek was wet from tears so he quickly wiped it all off. He quickly got up and the doorbell rang again.

Jin, it must be Jin, he's back for him. Taehyung's fallen expression was replaced by a much brighter one, a wide smile on his face as he grinned. He came back, he came back for him, Taehyung knew Jin wouldn't give up on them just like that. He ran over to the main door and hurriedly unlocked it.

Opening up the door with a wide smile only for it to fall. The disappointment washed over him like heavy rain. "Jeongguk,it's you..." Taehyung said in a low voice. Disappointment so clear.

"Well I didn't expect you to be cheerful to see me too but damn this is harsh." Jeongguk said to him and Taehyung looked away from him.

"Why are you here,Jeongguk?" Taehyung questioned him on the doorstep. "Can I come inside before we talk? or do you really want to do this here?"

The boy was adamant too so Taehyung just sighed. Stepping away and letting him inside his house. Closing the door behind him as they walked towards the living room. Jeongguk sat down on the couch while Taehyung sat on the separate one aside from him.

Jeongguk stared at him and Taehyung was looking strange,he looked clean. Fresh hair, new clothes not the ones he was wearing from last night, hungover not even in sight but his eyes were puffy and a little red. He was worried. "Are you okay? you didn't sound good so I came running over."

Taehyung could see that. Jeongguk was in a full suit, the black suit looking dashing on him as always. His hair styled back and the handsome face looking as new as it could after a day of partying. His tie was loosened and the few buttons of his dress shirt were unbuttoned, making him look more human.

"You didn't have to, I'm perfectly fine."

"Don't lie to me,hyung. You know it has never worked because I know you more than you know yourself." Jeongguk called him out, making Taehyung look up at him, their eyes meeting and a conflicted feeling forming in his stomach.

"You don't know anything about me!!" Taehyung replied back in anger, he doesn't know why he is being angry at him. If he wasn't the person in his dreams it would have been so much easier to- oh my god. He's doing exactly what Jin did. Blaming Jeongguk for something he isn't at fault for.

"Yes I do. I know something happened, I know by your red eyes, you have been crying. I can even tell by your voice because it's hoarse. You showered and you changed so it can't be about something old, something happened this morning. Did you and Jin Hyung fight?" Jeongguk was able to read him so easily. He understood everything about him by just looking at him. He wishes...Jin cared about him this much too.

"Your silence answers all my questions. Come on, talk to me. What did he say? Where is he now? Did he go to work? Whatever it is, he will come back to you...he always does." Jeongguk told him so with a nice smile. He got up and sat next to Taehyung, putting his arms on Taehyung's shoulder.

"Not this time. It won't happen this time. He told me to take a break, he wants us to pause and take a break from this relationship. How can he do this!? we live together for god sake, we can't take breaks." Taehyung said to him, looking down in his lap and Jeongguk was glad because he's afraid he might not have been able to hide his smile. He feels bad for Taehyung but this is...a chance, an opening.

"If the problem is about that, you can stay over at mine during this break of yours-"

"That's not it, Jeongguk!! I don't want to go on a break. I love him, he's my boyfriend and he has been all I had for so long I can't...just break up." Taehyung mentioned, he could feel his heart go faster.

"Taehyung, I think you are not afraid of letting him go but you are afraid of letting the idea of him. He became a habit to you so now that he's gone, you are spiraling. If anything this is the best time to go on a break because you can't let this habit continue or it would be dangerous for you, Taehyung. You live with your partner, not live for them." Jeongguk tried to make him understand and Taehyung knew he was right, that made so much sense but he didn't want to admit it.

"Besides, what did you guys even fight about?" Jeongguk asked him and Taehyung stayed silent for a second and then he responded.

"You." Taehyung replied and Jeongguk was frozen. He cannot believe his ears. They fought...because of him? That is just insane to him.

"What?? Me? Please elaborate."

"He thinks I'm cheating on him with you. He thinks we are having an affair!!"

"That's...ridiculous,why would he even think that? Is this about last night? Does he know?"

"Does he know what,Jeongguk? what the fuck did I say last night that both of you are acting like this towards me." Taehyung asked him again.

"The dreams,Taehyung. You said you have um...dreams about me, the sexual kind." Jeongguk told him so, feeling a bit overwhelmed all of a sudden as blood rushed up to his face. Shit, what has Taehyung done?

"...how much did I tell you?"

"Not much, I connected the dots myself. You told me to not touch you and stay back because you always give in to my touch and you kept asking if this is a dream again. I figured that you have been having dreams about me and you don't like them." Jeongguk told him it all and Taehyung never wanted to die faster.

"Ofcourse I don't like them, Jeongguk. They don't mean anything to me and now it's ruining my relationship because he knows." Taehyung threw his hands in the air, when he glanced at Jeongguk he saw such a vulnerable expression on his face.

"Did I ever mean anything to you,Taehyung?" Jeongguk asked him, a hint of desperation in his voice.

Taehyung was having a great time trying to find words to answer because his brain was scrambling more than it ever was because of the pitiful expression on Jeongguk's face, his soft voice pleading him to answer if he meant anything to him. Taehyung has never been in this situation before.

"I-i..what? What are you saying, Jeongguk? ofcourse you mean a lot to me, you are my best friend-"

"I don't fucking want to be your best friend anymore, Taehyung why don't you ever see that!?" Jeongguk felt rage, his body heating up, he tried to control himself but he was so damn tired.

"Is it because of the dreams? fuck I can't believe I'm going to lose you too because of them. Trust me,Gukkie, I really don't want to have these dreams-" Taehyung was cut off by Jeongguk's loud voice.

"Stop talking before I do something I regret,Hyung. Please stop, it's not the dreams, actually they are all I have. They are the only hope for me, for us to happen at this point. I wish those dreams could become a reality, Taehyung. So you would know what being cherished feels like!!" Jeongguk stated in a louder voice, all his frustrations coming out and seeing Taehyung's shocked expression was painful.

"You...like me?"

"I wish I only liked you,hyung. I wish it was that simple. My feelings for you run deeper than that, these feelings are too old for only to be labeled as liking you. I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember,hyung. The day I saw you when i entered the college as a freshman, I've loved you. These feelings just got stronger and stronger throughout the years that now I don't feel sane when you are not near me. You have been so oblivious that I can't take it anymore." Jeongguk confessed his feelings to him, pouring his heart out.

"You have liked me since college? Jeongguk...Why did you not tell me before?" Taehyung asked him, he couldn't believe this. This cannot be real. Life has to be playing a joke on him

"It was either keep loving you and hurting myself or confessing and ruining our friendship. I could not lose you, you have always been so special to me, you have seen me through my best and worst. I can't live a life without you but I'm tired now,hyung. Now it hurts so much, it hurts like hell here." Jeongguk poked Taehyung's chest where his heart was.

"Seeing you talking about these dreams with me, talking about how they ruined your life it makes me feel like shit, Taehyung because I'm the reason of your life falling apart, I'm the reason for your breakdown, it hurts me to know, being close to me pains you this much, so I think it's better that I leave before you do this time." Jeongguk got up from the couch and was held back by Taehyung who grabbed his wrist.

"You can't leave after dropping almost that on me! Jeongguk, fuck this is so messed up."

"Well you ran away when you kissed me at that college party, you left and ghosted me for good years. I don't want you to ghost me again, I don't want you to leave me because I don't think I will survive this time. I know I disgust you as much as I did before so I'm doing you a favor." Jeongguk kissed Taehyung's forehead and walked out of the room. The deja vu of the door closing hit him.

He is too late again. He is once again too late to deserve Jeongguk's love. He is too late to tell him this is a big misunderstanding. Now he really has no one.

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don't you just love angst? Hehe I love writing angst.
  Flashback to their College days in next chapter so stay tuned for that!!

-K