For the first time in a long time, you looked like a Solo. Dressed in baggy olive green pants, a long sleeved black shirt, and brown boots that matched the brown scarf hanging around your neck, you honestly looked more Resistance than First Order. It was strange.

Your hair was in a simple braid that went down the middle of your back. Looking at your reflection, you tried to match it with the same girl you remembered looking at the perfectly clean mirror in your quarters back on base; the mirror that showed a girl with long, flowing hair, wild eyes, and ebony robes. A girl that matched the brother she did not know.

That girl was gone. She was destroyed by betrayal after betrayal. Your hatred for Kylo Ren seemed to grow with every passing second. He had killed your father, lied to you about where you came from, and kept an entire lifetime secret from you. Last you saw him, he threatened to kill Poe and your mother. Whether that was a way to bring you back to him or punish you, you weren't sure.

The door opened and you glanced up at the reflection of your mother as she stepped in with a smile.

"Good morning," she said. As the door shut behind C-3PO, who walked in after her, she gestured to the tray in his hands. "I thought you might like to eat breakfast with me."

"Thank you, Mama," you said.

C-3PO brought the tray to the tiny dining table in the corner of the room. It was a tight squeeze for two people to live in. Luckily for your mother, you hadn't exactly brought luggage with you to Yavin 4. You shared the same bed and bathroom for now, but the two of you did not mind. You'd spent what felt like a lifetime apart.

"Thank you for bringing that in for me, Threepio," Leia said.

"You are most welcome, General," he said. "Now if you will excuse me---"

"Meet me back in my office in an hour, Threepio," she said. "I'll need your help preparing the next mission."

"Of course, General. In one hour exactly!" He left the room and as the door shut, your mother started to empty out the tray. She poured the milk in the cups and in the bowls of oatmeal, stirring it with sugar until it became a greyish mush. "I was hoping you'd be up earlier so you could come to the briefing with me. Or maybe just follow me around, see what your mother's been up to all of this time."

You were staring at your reflection again.

"Well, come on," she said, pulling out your chair for you. "Your food's getting cold --- oh. What's that look for? I know that look well."

She crossed the few feet of space between you and her. Her hands touched your upper arms. She leaned in and rested her head on the dip of your shoulder. "You're worried. I can tell. I've seen that look on myself far too many times not to know what it means. What are you so worried about, pretty girl?"

"Mom," you scoffed, smiling.

"What? You are beautiful," she said. "If what you're worried about is what the others may think, hear my advice to you. There are things much stronger than blood. Being the sister of Kylo Ren is no different than me being the daughter of Darth Vader. I didn't let that define me. He couldn't define me. Don't let your brother define you."

"Everything that he has done... everything that I have done... Mother, I wear it on my face. Everyone can see it. They know. They remember."

She shook her head. "No, you listen to me. There will be people that only see what you've done. But there will be others that see you. Those are the ones that you should listen to. This is your fresh start. Your new life. Perk up, starlight."

Slowly, you were starting to understand who you were. Beyond what Kylo Ren forced into your mind, beyond what you'd lost. You were your mother's daughter. You were a Solo and an Organa. And every time Poe looked at you across the room, you were reminded of who you really were. You were your own person. He saw the good in you.

So why shouldn't you see it, too?

"Yes, Mama." You smiled.

"And eat up! I have a lot to show you today."

After breakfast, you shadowed Leia all day. You stood there quietly for most of the time, watching her work and letting her introduce you proudly to everyone who hadn't seen you yet. It was a gradual thing, but you were slowly fitting in. Minute by minute, strangers smiled at you, people greeted you, friends of your mother respected you because of who your parents were. You were getting further and further away from your brother.

You wished Kylo Ren was a distant memory to you by now. You wished you could move on and recover quickly. But every time you closed your eyes, you saw him impale your father with his lightsaber, you heard him threaten the lives of Poe and your mother, and you saw the hate in his eyes when he faced off with you. The last time you had seen him, you left him on Starkiller Base. You knew he survived. You would've felt it if he hadn't.

It would've been so much easier if he died there, so you can mourn both Ben Solo and Kylo Ren in their own ways.

When Leia had to go on her own to a debriefing with high-ranking officers, she grasped both of your hands for a brief moment and apologized. You assured her you'd be alright. As she walked away, you turned and surveyed the grassy plains of Yavin-4, searching for your favorite pilot in the galaxy.

"Lookin' for me?"

You turned, a grin on your face. "Always."

He winked and threw his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close to him. Your best friend in the entire galaxy, Poe Dameron. Flirty, cocky, and the funniest guy you'd ever known, he meant everything to you. He was your best friend in the life you'd forgotten from years ago, and he was the reason you remembered what your brother wanted you to forget. He saved you and you saved him, and now you were able to spend every day with him.

"I was looking for you, too." He glanced over his shoulder as a pilot from his squadron shouted his name. He waved, tightening his grip on your shoulders and turning you away. "Let's walk faster before one of 'em try to follow me."

You laughed, reaching up to hold the hand hanging off your shoulder. You turned your head to beam at him. "Not in the mood for company, Dameron?"

"None but yours," he said.

It was as easy as breathing to be with Poe. It was like no time had passed since you'd last seen him. He was the same mischievous, flying-obsessed-boy, you were the same sarcastic girl, chasing dreams with him.

"I've been trying to find you all day. I feel like I haven't talked to you much these last couple of days---"

"We had dinner together last night," you reminded him.

"Okay, we haven't talked as much as I'd like to," he said. You rolled your eyes and pulled away, turning to look at him as you crossed your arms. He smiled sweetly. "How have you been holding up?"

He asked you this every day. You inhaled and nodded. "I'm... I'm doing fine. Yeah, I'm doing fine."

"Any word from Rey?" he asked.

"None." You bit your lip. It had been days since Rey first set out with Chewie to go find your uncle, Luke Skywalker. "I can see worry in her eyes... wondering if she was able to find Uncle Luke. I'm sure she will. When she finds him, he'll come. He'll come quickly."

"I hope so. We could really use him."

"Yeah."

"Will you be okay? Seeing him again?"

"Yeah," you whispered. "I just... I just hope that he is happy to see me alive. And I hope he doesn't know... " You swallowed. "I just hope he doesn't know about me before all of this. It'd be better if he thought --- if he thought I was dead."

Poe tilted his head. "I don't believe that."

"I do. My brother and I were his legacies, and then we betrayed him. The guilt eats me alive every time I think back to my training. I know that I wasn't myself when I was a part of the First Order..."

"Great," he interrupted, "so you do know. So stop tormenting yourself, princess. Got it? You're not a bad person. You're wonderful and kind and brave and... and you've got more of your mother in you than you do your brother." His hands touched your shoulders.

You smiled, although you weren't so sure you could be less like your brother. "Thank you, Poe."

"You're doing great. Every day, you look more and more like you belong here."

You knew that he meant it. He had that look in his eyes that made your heart take anchor right here, right in this spot. You never wanted to look away when his eyes were on you like that. No words could describe what it did to you.

But his eyes tore away as yours did, because someone was running full speed ahead at Poe.

"They're coming! Commander Dameron, the First Order is---"

"Whoa," Poe said. His hands gripped the shoulders of the exasperated soldier. He was a young kid, probably younger than even Rey. He looked horrified. "Are we under attack?"

"A warning was dispatched only two minutes ago," he explained. "The First Order fleet is attacking. They've located the exact location of our base and they're coming at us. Full force."

You looked up at Poe. Although you could see the shock in his eyes, he was composed as he stared ahead, figuring it up in his mind. "How much time have we got?"

"Only moments," the soldier whispered.

Fear seized you. Was Kylo Ren leading the attack? When he said that Poe and Leia would die, did he mean he would attack in a matter of days? Foolishly, you thought you would have more time.

"Alright." Poe patted his soldier. "Send out an alert to everyone on base. We're evacuating."

"Yes, sir---" the soldier turned and sprinted back to the main section of the base.

"And you," Poe said, pointing at you, "you are going back to your mom and boarding whatever ship she's getting on. Now."

He turned to jog off in the direction of his X-WING. You followed him and snatched his hand. "Wait, Poe. What about you? Aren't you coming with me?"

"No."

"You're not fighting the entire First Order fleet with a single X-WING," you said. This was it; he was going to kill your best friend this quickly. "Poe Dameron, you cannot be serious. You cannot be that stupid---"

He shook his head and looked up at the sky as he pulled his hand from yours and hurried off. "I'm just gonna buy us some time. As much time as necessary to get you out of here. Go. Now!"

"Please!" you shouted. "Promise me you'll be on that ship evacuating soon!"

"Soon," he said. And he paused before he added, "I promise!"

Every part of you told you not to let him to follow through with this plan that he had quickly put together. Knowing Poe, he wasn't only planning on distracting the First Order long enough for everyone to escape. Knowing Poe, there were far worse things in mind that he thought would be a good idea for the time being.

But the base was being evacuated and there was no longer any time to stand there and stare after him, wishing he would change his mind and just follow you.