After Edward left that night I started rethinking all of what had happened today...I couldn't believe I'd shown him my secret place! Not even my sister knew about it! To be fair you are in love with the guy!
Am not!! Not yet anyway
Please.....
Wait why am I even talking to myself??

Ugh ! Despite every bit of logical thought in my head a stupid smile still stayed plastered on my face, Edward and I had a good time..well at least I did,but falling in love with him all over again just after I'd managed to push away the feelings I'd realised during the concert ,was not an option! He was a universal playboy,he was on a different planet ,he'd finally settled down with Kate and let's face it how would I possibly have a chance against her? The answer? I wouldn't and precise that I didn't want to break them up over my selfish feelings,which were probably that of  just a passing crush anyways! I was tired that night..tired of being insanely happy because of a guilty reason,besides that I was physically tired after three days of work, I prepared myself some easy soup..nutritious and tasty. It was one of my mother's recipes and it was one that I used often because of its affect of re energizing me. After that I grabbed a book and went to bed,I fell asleep easily but my last memory was of watching the sunset with Edward...

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     I kept waking up in the middle of the night and thinking that it was eight in the morning then I'd look at my digital clock and groan, then pillow myself and try to go back to sleep after this cycle repeated itself five times I finally gave up and got out of bed, three am great! Just what exactly did I do to deserve to wake up at three in the morning?! I walked around the house a few times,turned on the television and turned it off again barely restraining ,myself from flinging the remotes at the stupid glowing screen! I looked outside and realised that the sun had finally come out,well nothing to do at home maybe I can get somewhere by going outside..?

       I put on my sweat suit and set my headphones and I left my home ,grabbing my empty backpack and ran out of the front door. I'm not usually a morning person but on the rare occasion that I am,like today, I'm never sorry that I can't wake up easily..because when you see something many times it starts to lose its sparkle but because I only see the world in the morning rarely I never fail to admire how serene it all is. The world in the morning is different to everything throughout the day, everything seems to have been washed clean,you can actually smell the grass ,the air isn't polluted ,its beautifully clean and fresh and nothing can beat that ,to me the world in the morning sparkles... The first few morning lights are coming on,assuring me that I was in no danger and as I casually jog to the beat of my song admiring the crispy freshness of the morning I fail to notice a large grey cloud covering up the sun.

      I'd been jogging for barely fifteen minutes when a sudden sound caused me to jerk my headphones off of my head, thunder clashed above me suddenly it began to pour, I grabbed my back pack and quickly dumped my headphones and iPod into it and closed it tightly, after that I pulled my hoodie over my head. Rain?! You have got to be kidding me! But hey I haven't been in a downpour in ages! This is kinda fun! I twirled in a complete ballet circle and laughed,I was getting soaked and I didn't even care! In fact I loved it,the sound of the rain completely blocked out all other sounds and I laughed in delight of the delicious cold feeling it brought. I spread my hands out and ran around the spot whooping! Since when have you been so carefree? Oh who cares! I love this! I tilted my head towards the sky and looked at the dark grey clouds,suddenly I wasn't looking at grey anymore I was looking at black...black? I turned around to see Edward holding an umbrella over my head, I blinked at him and he smiled at me, then a rather mischievous thought came into my head.."now why on earth ...would you do that?!" I yelled "do wha-?" He yelled back but too late I yanked the umbrella out of his hands and threw it behind me, for a few seconds he stared at me blankly and then he realised...he was getting wet too...

Edward's P.O.V

    I didn't expect to meet Jen out here if anything I'd expect her to be back home sleeping...not dancing in the rain like a maniac! Jen grabbed my umbrella and tossed it behind her,it took a few seconds for me to realise exactly what happened...I was getting soaked ! And I had a photoshoot in a few hours! "Jen!!" I yelled "what?! You need to have fun when it rains!" She yelled back suppressing laughter,then she grabbed my hand and pulled me in a half walk-half jog pace in circles. This was actually pretty fun...I am already wet so there's no harm in enjoying this right ? I looked at Jen doing ballerina twirls in front of me,her wet,drooping pigtails flying all over....she really did make a picture..no way! Don't go there Edward!  I grabbed her hand and we ram around in circles struggling to keep our balance and laughing like hell, Jen lost her balance and fell first then she dragged me down with her,great! Now we're sleeping on someone's driveway! Jen looked at me and I could tell she knew what I was thinking we both grinned at each other and started laughing.

         After that hideous phone call I'd been in no mood to stay home,for even a minute more..I'd derived around randomly and in circles. Going to Jen's secret place had come to mind but I knew that getting through those thorns and brambles was impossible for me right now, at five am I'd seen a figure jogging leisurely and followed her, I realised it was Jen but did nothing for awhile and then it started to rain. Jen looks at me thoughtfully and I can't help but wonder if she knew what I was thinking..? I raise an eyebrow at her and she quickly grins, the rain has stopped now and Jen gets up and offers me her hand. "Come on! My house is a few blocks away let's get ourselves dry." She says "let's take my car" I say,now its her turn to try to raise an eyebrow at me ,I role my eyes and she sticks her tongue put at me, I laugh "why were you making a absolutely pathetic attempt to do the eyebrow thing?" I ask her "first of all that was a pretty good attempt! (I role my eyes ) OK OK I admit it! But genius we are soaking wet do you really want to ruin your mega expensive car?" She says sarcastically fine I didn't think of that.. we make our way to her house talking .

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Why does he look so troubled??? I think to myself as I look at Edward,his expression seemed to have cleared as we played in the rain and now he was laughing as usual but it was pretty obvious that something was bothering him.. we reached my front door a few minutes later and I started going through a quick mental checklist just to make sure everything was in place and none of my underwear was lying about the house,when I thought everything was good I miraculously found the key and opened the door.

     Ed was looking at me, I could sense it..most of the time when guys like Ed or any guys at all looked at me I hated it. I'd think the worst of them ,I'd hate the way their eyes played on me I'd feel disgusted not only with them but with myself ...not all guys..though,not my close friends or the guy who held my heart for the majority of the time before I met Edward. Even though Ed was watching me he didn't bring forth old feelings in my heart ..no the way he looked at me I liked, because it felt like he was curious about me, like he wanted to get to know me,so yes I admit it Ed made me feel really good about...me,even though that was a selfish thing to think. I am bored of you the words echoed in my head suddenly and I scrunched up my nose remembering the unpleasantness of that day, I grow bored of every person I know who isn't family,sooner or later and simultaneously they grow bored of me ,I know that's only fair but it still hurts when they word it out...Ed..I'll grow bored of you too sooner or later,I've never been anyone's first priority and therefore I'd never let anyone be my first priority. My sudden meeting with Ed was not anything different to what my life had been from the beginning...it couldnt be..so get out of my heart you annoying hope!

        I toss Ed a towel he catches it,his green grey eyes reflecting the surprise he felt, then he smiles and his dimples showing, his brown hair is lying around his head in a wet mess,his usual curls have straightened, whenever he smiles..I smile. Again his expression clouds and his dimple disappears even though he continues smiling "is something wrong? Are you OK?"I think out loud "uhhh..no" I know I shouldn't but I just have to ask more..I hated the way he kept shutting people out,I don't know if its just me but I still hate how he insists on going alone you do the something you know! Precise why does it matter to you? I ignore my inner voice and raise (yes I do it successfully this time) an eyebrow at him,he sighs "how'd you l had something bothering me? What gave it away?" Was it really not obvious? "You smile but your dimple doesn't show...you laugh but the moment you stop you frown...you keep yourself at a distance and you seem worried," I said ,he gaped at me "OK ....hey Jen can I ask you something?" I nod "if ...you were being forced to do something and you knew that you wanted to...I mean if it was your responsibility and it was something you should want to do ,then...does it matter if your being forced..?" I looked at him "well depends on the 'something ' and I don't know what I'm advising you about but if you refer to doing this 'something'as being 'forced' then I don't think it is something that you want to do...but if its your responsibility then that complicates things" Ed looked at me "your right" he said at last "but my head is just a mess right now," he said placing his hands on his head ,I frowned ..he looked troubled before but now he looked ...worse . Edward what on earth is bothering you...stress from work? Kate? It has to be one of the two...

        I got up abruptly,Edward looked up "let's go" I said "there are two places I think may help" Ed looked at me and nodded,"I only have a few hours though," I nodded.Twenty minutes later I was driving towards the most deserted beach I knew. Ed got out of the car and stretched his arms then looked at me "how's this going to help?" I walk towards him and smile "scream..and shout and yell ,you can do it all here...sometimes you just need to let go" he looked hesitant and I knew why "you know I saw this really pretty looking shop a little way up, I'll come back in half an hour OK? Till then your stuck here ," he looked at me and I knew he knew what I was thinking..for a few seconds he looked arrogant but then he smiled and nodded and I got into my car, rolling the shutters down I drove away and parked a little way up and waited to see if he would do it..for a few minutes I heard nothing, I got out of the car and was about to get to him and yell at him, and then I heard it..clear and distinct he was yelling, I smiled and drove away.

           Half an hour later I  returned ,Ed was not to be seen but his foot prints were distinct on the soft same ,I walked up following the marks in the sand ,my shoes in my hand. I spotted Ed a few metres away, I came closet stealthily hoping to scare him. Ed turned his head towards the sky,his jeans were rolled up and he was standing in the water , the sun was reflecting of his brown hair making its deep brown glimmer and the lighter parts shine,his shirt was blowing back outlining his athelethic build  and his green eyes were breathtakingly beautiful in the noon day sun. Greek godlike I thought to myself..he was so handsome just then snap out of it Jenny he's not for you! An inner voice nagged me oh shut up! For this moment at least let me enjoy myself ! Let me pretend he's mine without guilt or doubt ..I promise ...the moment we leave this beach the spell will have broken...
              "Boo!" I yelled as I jumped on Edward he looked at me shocked,I'd expected him to move immediately but he didn't and I crashed onto his body and he caught me by the waist quickly, I swear it felt like electricity ran through me in that moment . I looked up at him and he did the same..oh no! Way too close! I quickly grinned acting like his closeness didn't affect me one bit "you were supposed to move idiot!" I said as I straightened myself ,he stared at me for a second then said "well who asked you to jump at me? Dummy!" I laughed "we should go, your photo shoot starts in about half an hour you know?" He nodded, and we walked back. He held the door for me as if I was some sort of royalty and I did my best princess walk,holding up my dress ,half closing my eyes,pouting my lips and said in my best royalty voice "thank you peasant " he laughed "anything for your majesty ,princess" I laughed and closed the door, poof! The spells broken.. Ed got into the car and I drove fast and dropped him off at work...he smiled at me,a real smile this time..

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Edward's P.O.V

        I couldn't believe I was smiling again...thanks to Jen I was feeling so much better now,all the yelling I'd done had somehow relieved me of all the worries I had. "What's with you? All of a sudden," Luke asked "Yeah you seem relieved about something" Roger added,I laughed "mmm..." I said and then I explained everything to them "good for you,"  Chris said ,while stupid Hal slapped my back ...hard..I nodded. My phone beeped,the called ID lit up and in big bold letters 'Dad' came up..I frowned and picked it up "Hi dad.." I said "son you need to give me an answer now!" He exclaimed "mmm ..meet me for coffee at two?" I asked him, he grunted an 'yes' and cut the line. I need to see Kate...

       Kate had a video shoot a few blocks away, I walked up and entered the building..do you really love Kate? Do you really want to get engaged to her? Can you spend the rest of your life with her? I saw Kate posing for the after credits..she was beautiful, I do love her ....maybe not romantically ..after all she climbed onto me the moment she saw me and even though I am technically dating her I couldn't feel love, like in the movies. But all of the emotions shown in the movies probably doesn't exist anywhere at all ...what I have with Kate is better than all the overely Dramatic relationships I've so far experienced, I've known her for a longer time and as far as I can see she isn't a bad person , in a rushed engagement I have only her to pick..

Kate came over to me ,"hi " she rushed "what's the occasion? You never come to visit me at work!" She said smiling ,I gave her a quick kiss..no explosion! See that only exists in the movies and books. "Wanna grab a coffee?" I asked .she nodded and grabbed my hand.

             "Kate....uh ..this is kind of sudden but..uh would you be willing to get engaged to me?" I asked her .she glupped her coffee. 'What?." She asked uncertainly. I took her hand "Katy I love you...I'd like you to get engaged to me..I wouldn't have done this so fast but my father wants me to marry someone  and if anyone I want it to be you.." well I do love her...like a good friend..but still I consider it to be love ...and yes my father didn't just want anyone he wanted Kate..the heiress to millions , the top celeb..the girl who has never been told 'no' ...no, anyone wouldn't be able to give his company more popularity than it already had but Kate didn't have to know my father yet..she'd be safer . Kate was saying something and I quickly brought my attention back to her "Well..as I was saying....I expected you to do this sooner or later ....Yes!" She said and Hugged me.

     Three hours later I'm seated in the same coffee shop in the same spot the only difference is that the individual seated in front of me is not a pretty girl but a severe ,old looking man...my father. "Good good, now that Kate and you are engaged don't do anything to mess it up! You realise what a position this will put me in ...a good position. You owe me this much! You owe it to her" I nod, defeated. I leave the coffee shop, my father ...loved me in his own way but he loved his company more...his favorite excuse to use to force me to do things was my mother...she'd dissappeared from our lives two years, a secret letter had reached me telling me that she and I may not meet again..she didn't give me an explanation as to why, my father took me over and no matter how much I missed her and no matter how much like a trapped animal I felt with my father she didn't return , my father said I was the reason...maybe I was the reason...maybe she hated being tied down by me....I know she loved me but I know she wanted freedom....maybe I wasn't worth the freedom I cost her..

          I left the coffee shop after my dad and start walking , my car is still near Jen's house. My head is full of memories of my mother..what had gone wrong? I'm getting engaged to Kate..I'm being forced to it...it starts to rain.

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I was just thinking of Edward, his car was still around my lane. I'm glad he was feeling much better when he left...he looks better when he smiles. It starts to rain. A figure walks through the rain,I spot the figure as I turn onto my lane. The rain has caused everyone to leave the streets ..all except to the figure. That's Edward ! I realise suddenly, I jolted my car stationary and ran over to him, what had happened to him? So suddenly? He looks at me "Jen..." he says and suddenly hugs me, I feel his warmth even through the rain his arms go around me and he sighs. I pull away letting his hands rest on my shoulders, I place my own on his face enjoying the static in me "what's wrong?" I ask "nothing nothing , it's OK "  he assures me. Why are you hiding? Again? He didn't look like he wanted to talk about it " Ed ," I say smiling "wanna dance?" I ask and grab his hand, I drag him in uneven circles in the silliest dance ever, after a little while he takes control..he holds me strongly and looks straight at me ,challenging me to resist , his palm goes to my waist and I sling my arm to his shoulder ,he waltzes me, not once looking away from my eyes, he spins me in circles and I don't even know how to stop dancing in the rain, my hair is sticking to my neckline ,his is too and even though it is cold the comfy warmth of his arms around me ...protecting me is not something I have the willpower to resist. The intensity in his eyes holds mine captive..so many emotions are reflected in his eyes...there's pain, there's laughter ,there's experience and there's also strength..more strength than I've ever seen in anyone's eyes. Edward holds me close and waltzes me and I dance with him... I see his eyes try to pull away from mine,but they don't move ,after a while of dancing in the rain with only each other's warmth. I realise ...I have the same affect on him as he has on me...

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-J