Jenny

What was I to do? It wasn't like I could control my actions when I was drunk! Still...a kiss? What the hell is wrong with me? And after I made him promise not to kiss me! To make it worse I pretended not to remember a thing!

Well, what's done is done. Another sealed memory again. Anyway, why did he kiss me back? Could he...by any chance...nah! How could that even be possible? Well I had to just pretend not to remember anything right? Then that would be that. At least I get one proper kiss from him. I'll just have to suck it up and be content with just that.

Meg got out of the car, still looking a little teary, I hugged and gave her a peck on the cheek.
"Cheer up, " I told her "my dad said he might come by in a few weeks....you'll look forward to that right?"

She nodded miserably. I left her in front of her apartment, the girls she shared it with would probably cheer her up more. Meg's apartment complex was quite a simple place, but from the dark green decorative trees to the hand painted elevator doors, it was beautiful. It wasn't shabby but it didn't look like a awkward high classed place. A brightly lit hall and a large bouquet of flowers at the receptionists table. Neat, tidy and simple.

The people who lived here were mostly youngsters, fresh out of college, like my sister. They were all doing their own part time jobs until they got proper settlements. Meg was studying her heart out to be an economist and I payed all her fees, I'm not complaining, I loved doing it and with my salary it was never a big deal.

An elderly lady got out of the elevator and smiled at me, I smiled back. Mrs.Brown was one of the only old folks living here, a small lady with curly grey hair and crocodile glasses. She was quite rich and you could always count on her to take care of the younger kids.

"Hello Mrs. Brown. Going anywhere?"

"Hello dear Jen! Dropping off Meg I guess?" She chuckled good naturedly "I'm just going down to the grocery,"

I frowned when I thought of the weather outside, it had been clear awhile ago but as the evening approached the chill crept in. I didn't like the idea of Mrs. Brown out there alone in case the weather took a turn for the worse and a storm blew up.

"Oh? I'm heading that way too! I'll drive you" I offered. She nodded gratefully and I helped her to the car.

★★★★

I checked my phone again. There was no message from Edward. Perhaps he hadn't seen it yet? My heart sank, just a little and I shook the feeling off. The car was beginning to feel very stuffy as I sat patiently, waiting for Mrs. Brown to return. I rolled down the shutter and tucked my hands into my coat pocket. The air was cold but it was quite refreshing so I didn't mind.

Blonde hair caught my eye. At first I ignored it. Then I heard a shrill voice wail for chocolate cocoa. Much like a spoiled child crying. My head shot up and I screwed my eyes until I caught site of the source of the racket. Penny stood next to Edward, who seemed slightly ruffled. So this is why he didn't text me! I thought furiously.

I walked over to Edward, winding my way through the mass of cars taking refuge in the car park. When he saw me at last anger flashed through his eyes. It made me stop in my tracks and rack my brains for what I'd done to make him mad.

Nothing came to mind, we'd being teasingly texting a few hours ago so what had happened in between? My eyes fell on the wailing Penny and suddenly I had my answer...Penny had happened...hadn't she?

" Hey Ed, Penny" I said, purposely avoiding his eyes and ignoring the anger sizzling in the air.

"Weeeeell! Jenny! How have you been?" Penny asked me.

"Fine, " I answered shortly. Ed placed a protective arm around Penny, it made me wince in pain.

"Listen Jen! Could you go with Edward and get me a cocoa? I'd go myself but I've sprained my ankle"

"No wonder, in those shoes a ballerina would sprain her feet!" I retorted

"Yes yes. Your wit amazes us. Now pleaseeee?"

Something was wrong. Why would Penny want me to be alone with Edward? And why now of all times does she choose to be generous?! When Ed was so obviously pissed off at me? I was about to decline and leave but Penny looked at Ed meaningfully and Ed nodded. What was going on? I knew then that I would have to go with Ed. Because after all...curiosity killed the cat...let's hope I have all nine lives

★★★★

The air conditioning hit me like a blast of ice, my already cold toes froze over. It was brightly lit in here, unlike the darkening car park. Ed and I didn't say a word to each other and walked on in silence.

Most likely because of the weather, the large grocery was almost deserted. I made my way to the sweets section where I knew they would have Penny's hot cocoa. I picked out the worst brand in the shelf, just to show a little of my sweet feelings towards Penny, and tossed it at Edward, he caught it deftly and examined it.

I rolled my eyes and strutted out of the corridor made of shelves when his voice stopped me.
"This is the worst brand, " he stated.

I frowned angrily, and then turned my frown into a glare.

" I know."

He sighed angrily and put it back on the shelf and picked up an expensive brand...the most expensive brand. I grabbed it from him and picked up my brand again.

"Look! You have no right to buy stuff for my girlfriend!" He exclaimed

"Oh really?" I said, squaring my shoulders and folding my arms "because last time I checked, she asked me to buy the cocoa, so if I choose to use a poisonous brand, I can damn well do so!"

His eyebrows joined together and his green eyes became like storm clouds.

"You have no right to hate her this much....she's moved on, why can't you?!"

I felt my temper rising. What? Haven't moved on? He makes it sound like I'm the villain. She's moved on because she never had anything to move on from in the first place!

"Look Ed I have no idea what your so mad at me about but I will tell you this, I have every right to hate Penny!" If Penny could do something like making Ed hate me, if his eyes were any indication to his feeling,then my mouth will slip on the truth. His anger seemed to be contagious..because my temper was rising at the speed of light.

"Look Jen! What she says tallys perfectly and why would she lie?! You tricked her and stole her boyfriend! And the worst part? You lied to me! Penny said that you tricked just like your doing me!"

"And why do you believe her!? Well Ed?! You said you'd find out the facts! I told you about my history! I trusted you! And I thought you trusted me but apparently I was wrong!" I yelled at him.

The few people that were there were starting to stare at us. I shot them a death glare and they scuttled away. I felt angry tears prickling in my eyes. That manipulative....ugh! And Ed? How could he just believe her like that?! What had she done to sound so convincing?

" I don't want to believe her!" He yelled. I stopped in my tracks of an angry reply." I want to believe you! That frustrates me a lot! She's my girlfriend but I can't stop thinking that maybe I'm making a horrible mistake by doubting you! But you don't tell me anything! Penny does! So? Who should I believe?"

My energy left me, so was that what it was? I didn't blab as much as she did so I was the villain?

"Edward Salerd, I have never once lied to you. Penny...Penny, is someone who took away a lot from me. That boyfriend that I supposedly took from Penny was Cameron. If you want to trust her over me....then fine, I do understand." Lies! I didn't understand.
But I wasn't Penny, this wasn't pride, I wasn't being timid. I was me. I deal with these problems my way. I refuse to lower myself to her level. To put on an act and buy trust. No matter what he chose I wouldn't blame him. Because he meant too much to me. Because I loved him. Because no matter what....I refuse to let anyone break my bond with him.

"I have never once lied to you." I repeated "But. Never. Assume. To. Know. Me, well enough to judge me," I finished, coldly.

Edward looked at me differently, hurt shone in his eyes. I knew what I'd done. But I couldn't regret it now. If he wasn't able to put his foot down and make a choice, no matter what it was....well, then it was a waste for me to ever love him. Because he wouldn't be worth it.
The grocery store had seemed to become darker, even though I was sure the lightning hadn't changed. I felt a lump gather in my throat and I knew tears were very close.

"Ed...I...am sorry...for not telling you as much as I can...but...if I do that....I will lose one of the last things I have left....self respect." I choked but hid it.

"Oh sweetheart! There you are! I just met Ida. So Jenny darling you don't have to drop me off!" Mrs. Brown's voice cut through the atmosphere and I quickly turned to her and smiled, my eyes were beginning to get cloudy now but I could still smile.

"Oh! You have company!"

"Yes, this is an....acquaintance ...of mine, Edward." I answered her.

Mrs. Brown, politely shook hands with Ed, completely unaware of what was going on. I clenched my fists, the lump in my throat had started to hurt and my breath had begun to feel short, my mouth opened, trying to suck in oxygen...to save myself. I will not cry. I swore to myself. Mrs. Brown politely excused herself and I silently thanked god.

I turned my back to Edward and tried in vain to control the shaking of my shoulders. "T-the expensive brand....is bad for your health...try the next price.." I said, determined to make a dramatic exit.

I strode out of the grocery store, my head held high, I reached my car and opened the door and jumped in. I saw Penny on my way, she smiled sickeningly at me and I knew... she'd manipulated the entire situation..but at least...I had spoken my thoughts to Edward...I'll bet you anything...she hadn't planned on that.

I rolled up my window and placed my head in between my legs. Think of happy times! I told my self furiously, but that only served to make me feel pathetic, I told myself that it wasn't worth tears. I turned my rear view mirror to face me and tried to laugh, I watched my face contort and I looked away.

I took in deep breaths but the lump in my throat seemed to grow and it hurt so much. I felt my eyes fill up and I knew a tear was about to escape. Thinking happy thoughts wasn't working, deep breaths wasn't working, because whenever I tried either some memory would pop into my heart and my heart would break all over again.

Tears don't suit me. I just need to calm down. I blinked furiously and let a single tear escape, crying has no scientific explanation to it but tears and the lump in my throat must be connected because as that single tear spilled a little of that lump broke. What was happening with me? I never had to cry before. Edward did this didn't he? Wasn't love supposed to be like a fairy story? Why did it hurt?

I felt a little bit calmer and raised my head to look through the windscreen. Edward walked out of the grocery, I felt grateful that he couldn't see me through the darkness, he went over to Penny and gave her her hot cocoa packet. Why did I go over to them when I saw him? I should've known better. I just saw him with her and ran over without thinking.

I rolled down the shutter, and I heard her ask him where I was, like she didn't know! He said that I had to leave fast. I closed my eyes. "Did you tell her...that you would never leave me for her like my first boyfriend?" My eyes shot open. What did she just say? Had she really manipulated the situation that far?

"I never want that situation to repeat itself...oh Ed! Please OK?" She continued.

Oh? You don't want that situation to repeat huh? Then why are you setting the scenario so well? So you got to Ed? You let up some of my story and made him pity you?! God...I'm...speechless, really!

"I didn't say it exactly in those words, " Ed says doubtfully.

I geared up my car and placed my hand on the wheel and furiously drove away.

★★★★

"Hey" I said to Cameron. He looked startled to see me there, I smiled. He was standing at the doorway to his hotel room. He'd been staying there for over a week so it didn't look neat.Clothes lay outside a half-unpacked and the brightly lit room had a certain ruffled look.

I mused as I thought of the poor housekeepers that to clean this up. After driving off in a huff I'd stopped the car in a quiet corner and walked over to my secret place. There I had a good cry and reminscened in Edward's and my memories there. The stars were really clear tonight and the water was still, it , like a mirror reflected everything I'd gone through and looking at myself through a mirror made me see how stupid I'd been.

And laughing at myself made me feel much better. I thought and thought about it and I realised that...I loved Edward too much to be selfless. I thought that you could be selfless only when you truly loved someone but I realised now that love makes you selfish.

It wasn't nessecarily a bad thing, it made me feel stronger than I pretended to be. I thought of Cameron then, when I'd lost him I'd given up, I hadn't fought back. To be perfectly honest, when it came to my love life I'd never really fought.

In truth I felt thankful towards Penny, because if she hadn't barged in and taken Ed I might have never realised what I could do, what I could have. If Penny wanted to play games with me, with Ed...then fine. I'd entertain her, and if I won something...so be it.

"Hey Jen"

"You were trying to tell me something important before..?"

"You came all this way for that?"

"Hey, no big deal, it wasn't out of the way"

"Come on in"

I took my place on the couch and looked questioningly at Cameron. He refused to meet my eyes and focused on the ceiling, floor, and bed.

"Will you try going out with me again?!" He blurted out suddenly.
I was shocked, and left speechless. Then I smiled to myself. He was simply shocked by my appearance without my glasses and such. I grinned then. Well...at least I know he doesn't really love me.

I brought my eyes to meet his, Cameron looked at me nervously and I made my decision right there.

★★★★★

I leant on the lamp post, the chilly morning air caught my hair as it loosely swung out of it's knot. I knew what I had to do. I had to protect the people I cared for. My sleek black car was parked in a corner. Due to the time, the street was pretty deserted.

A bright red car pulled up in front of me and I waited until it's owner got out slowly. "I can't imagine why you would want to see me.." Penny said, ignoring the death glare I was giving her. Where to start? I wondered dismally.

" Just to tell you...I don't like what your doing with Ed" I said, focusing my eyes on hers. She tut tutted it and I smiled half angrily.

"Well, that is none of your buisness. And if that's it...then I'm leaving." She said confidently turning on her heel and starting back to her car. I put my hands into my pockets and straighthned up from the lamppost. "When you took Cameron from me..do you remember still?" At that she froze.

She looked at me as if she was looking at a different person. She eyed my pockets as if she were afraid I'd hidden a gun in there. Then she straighthned and I followed suit, carefully balancing myself on my sports heels.

If someone looked at us right now, Penny would seem like the angel, with her thick flowing white dress and red lipstick, me on the other hand? I looked like a demon, my dark blue denim and black coat along with my dark loose hair.

Who would've guessed that the demon was the angel and the angel was a demon?

"If that's all you have to say I'll be leaving. Precise, if you wanted Cameron that badly why didn't you fight back?" She spat at me. I shrugged.

"I don't like how you play games with people...specially Edward" I stated, ignoring the truth in her earlier statement.

"Well that's none of you're buisness is it?" She said repeated testily, I let her continue "he's mine now, I'll play all I want and what's sweet, kind, calm and composed little Jen going to do?" She mocked.

"She's going to lose her temper" I said threateningly. A half smile taking my lips.
"Like you ever will! Please!"

I took a step towards her. "Last time you took what was mine, you played a game and I didn't even take part." I took another step towards Penny. "You don't know how much I've agonised over you taking Edward" I confided in her. "If you were serious, I might have been more accepting" another step.

"I will make Edward mine! I am serious!" She exclaimed at me. I summed her up and she half quivered, I knew she was not used to seeing this side of me... and she was afraid.

"Fine! If that's how you're going to play it then Game on! But just so you know....this time round...I will be playing."