My eyes.

Why can't I close my eyes?

Oh, now I remember...

Because that idiot kissed me! I couldn't help but keep replaying that moment over and over and over again in my head. I couldn't help but feel my lips repeatedly making sure his lips weren't still touching mine.

Oh my god his lips.

They were just so soft, it was almost inhuman. They even tasted like freaking cinnamon! I love cinnamon!

Ok Lucy, let's calm down for a second. It was just one kiss. It probably didn't mean anything.

But don't kisses mean you like someone or even love? Well he did say he liked me....

Oh my god he said he liked me! That unbearable heat is coming back to my face again.

Natsu! Why can't I get you out of my mind?!

"Lucy?" I heard a whisper at my door, "are you still awake?"

I sat up straight, regaining my composure, "Yeah, Is something wrong mom?"

"Actually it's quite the opposite." She closed the door behind her, "you remember that man I was talking about a while ago?"

"That man named Jude? What about him?"

"Things kind of got a little serious between us. We'll I wouldn't say serious."

"Don't worry mom," I patted the seat next to me, "Dr. Lucy Heartfilia is hear to listen to all your problems."

She giggled, "thanks doc," She laid next to me, "I needed someone to talk to before I go insane."

"Well tell me about your concerns."

"Well, tonight when I was at the bar, I noticed that he wasn't there at his usual time and I was getting worried."

I placed an invisible pen on my chin, "interesting, carry on."

She couldn't help but laugh at my childish antics, "he came in a few hours after usual and he looked nervous, like something was eating at him." She took a deep breath and stared at the ceiling for a minute before continuing, "we had our usual conversation until he asked me what I've been dying to hear ever since we met."

I turned my body toward her, intrigued, "Well, what was it?"

"He asked me out," She laughed, "he asked me out to dinner this weekend."

"Really? What did you say?"

"I-I..."

"Well come on, what did you say?!"

"I didn't say anything."

"You what?!" I yelled, now standing over her, "if you like him why didn't you say yes!? You said you've been dying for him to ask you!"

"I know but, there's still something holding me back."

I sighed, "Oh my god, is this about that douche bag?"

"Hey, that's still your father y'know."

"A father doesn't do this." I lifted my arm showing her the cut from when my dad pushed me into that vase.

She gently grabbed my arm, "he did this to you?"

"It was the night after you had another one of your episodes." I clenched my fist, "the night I needed you the most. Where were you?"

She sighed, staring in another direction, trying to keep her eyes off mine, "I'd be lying if I said I remembered."

"He came home that night looking for you."

"What? Why would he be looking for me?"

"I don't know, and then he tried to lecture me about being home on time," I chuckled, "Since when has he ever been home on time?"

She covered her face with the blanket, "I never meant for this to go so far. I thought maybe if I did everything he said then he would love me again. Now I realize how I was such a fool to believe that. Because of me he hurt you."

"Well we don't have to do this anymore." I uncovered her face with the blanket, revealing her tears that soaked my pillow, "It's not to late to do the right thing."

"You think so?" She whispered.

"Yes and you can start by calling this Jude guy and give him an answer."

She smiled that same smile I adored from years ago, the same smile I now adore today, "thank you Lucy. I know I haven't been a good mother to you and you probably don't want to hear this but, I'm trying my best again. I want to be there for you from now on. I love you Lucy."

I couldn't help but shed a few tears myself. It's nice hearing my mother say those words to me and actually mean it, "you don't know how long it's been since I've waited to hear those words from you again and really mean it. Every time you say it to me I feel loved. I feel like your daughter again."

She grabbed my hand, gently squeezing it, "and I'm so sorry I had to make you wait for so long."

I laughed wiping the tears that managed to leave my eyes, "look at us crying like huge babies."

She laughed, wiping away her tears, "you're right."

I scooted over to the other side of my bed, "you can sleep in here if you want. I kinda have something I want to share too."

"I'll gladly stay in here with you." She covered us both in my insanely large blanket, "and what is it that you want to tell me?"

I smiled, "I kissed a boy today."

She gasped. All I could feel was her eyes shooting lasers into my scalp, "well don't just stop there! Give me the details! Is he cute? Is he smart? Dumb?"

"Do you Remember that boy that came to our house who lives across the street?"

"Oh my god!" She squealed, "him?"

"Yep, we went to his old house today and one thing led to another and he kissed me."

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! My baby girl has a boyfriend! And he's cute!"

"Oh stop it mom." I laughed, "we're not dating. Well not yet at least."

"But why? Don't you like him?"

"I do, but I want to take things slow, like really slow. This is my first real friend and I don't want to mess that up."

"I understand Lu. Well does he like you back?"

"I think so."

"What makes you think that?"

"Well he did say I kissed you because I like you. So I kind of assumed."

"Oh."

I smiled, "I just can't believe he likes me."

"You're an amazing Lucy. Your smart, funny, beautiful, and most of all you have an amazing personality."

"I guess you're right."

"I know so." She took a deep breath, "so how did he deal with you telling him about your condition?"

My eyes widened. The only thing I could think of is oh Shit.

"Oh," I twirled my hair around my finger, "about that-"

"Please don't tell me you didn't tell him Lucy."

"Well I... no."

"Lucy you have to tell him."

"I can't! That's a big thing to tell somebody. Especially to someone like him."

"Well if you're going to be in a relationship with someone that you really care about you shouldn't keep secrets."

"I'm not trying to keep it a secret from him, I'm just not ready to tell him yet."

She yawned, "well you're going to have to tell him sooner or later or he will find out by someone else." She turned to the other side of the bed, "I'm getting tired, I'll talk to you in the morning. Good night Lucy."

I stared at the ceiling. What if he does find out about it from someone other than me? How will he take it? Will he hate me? Will he understand? So many freaking questions!

I turned to the other side of the bed, my back turned towards mom, "good night, mom."

"Hey lucy..." I heard a faint whisper, "you need to wake up now..."

I groaned, "no. I'm tired."

"It's time for school and we're going to be late."

Wait we?

My head shot up hitting something extremely hard. I fell off my bed grabbing my head, landing on something rather soft, "What the hell?" I whispered.

"Sheesh! How hard headed are you?" I looked down to see Natsu on my floor...

With me sitting on him.

That's it! This time I really am going to kill him!

"What the hell are you doing in my room?!" I screamed.

He rubbed his forehead, "Your mom let me in."

"Why would she-" I sighed grabbing the bridge of my nose. Why do I have this feeling that I shouldn't have told my mom about that kiss. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves, "Ok but I still don't understand why you're here?"

"Well I was thinking we could walk to the bus stop together." He smiled.

"Why can't you just take your truck?"

"It's in the shop. It kinda wouldn't start this morning so earlier I took it in."

I sighed, "Alright just... Wait for me downstairs."

"Alright princess." He kissed my cheek before heading downstairs smiling like a goofball. I stood there completely flustered still trying to take in that moment.

"That is something I'm going to have to get used to," I whispered.

I glanced at the time on my phone and noticed we were a few minutes late heading down to my stop, "crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!" I yelled, stumbling down the stairs with my hair still a mess and my toothbrush still in my mouth.

Natsu turned to see the chaos unravel, "Woah!" He said, running towards me before I fell flat on my face on my steps. He smiled that goofy grin I couldn't resist, "how many more times am I going to have to save you from falling on your face?"

"The day I stop being such a clumsy person." I grabbed my bag, stuffing my papers and my toothbrush inside.

Hey... don't judge me. When you're late to school you don't have time to do certain things like in this case, go back upstairs and put your toothbrush away.

"You ready Luce?" He asked, turning the knob to the front door.

"I think so," I said, still out of breath from running down the stairs so fast.

"Then let's go!" He ran as fast as he could out the door, heading toward the bus stop.

"Wait a minute!" I yelled, closing and locking the door behind me. I ran after him, making my hair look even more insane than it already was, "why are you running?!" I yelled.

"Because we're late!" He yelled back, still running full speed leaving me in the dust, "we were supposed to be at the stop five minutes ago!"

"What?!" I glanced down at my watch and saw he was right.

We were five minutes late.

"At least slow down please! I'm dying!"

Natsu scoffed, "you've only been running for a couple seconds!"

"I know but it feels like hours!"

"Look the bus!" Natsu said, pointing at the bus, which was about to leave without us, "Wait!" He yelled, running faster than before.

Where did he suddenly get this increase in speed? Was there a power up I missed or something back there?

Before the bus driver drove full speed out of the neighborhood, Natsu caught up with her, panting and begging for her to open the doors. I could already hear her mumbling under her breath about how we're such horrible kids and how she wishes she had a better job than driving a bunch of stupid teenagers.

I saw Natsu standing in the doorway, waiting for me to catch up so I can get on, "thanks Natsu," I said, panting.

"No problem princess."

I sighed, "you're going to have to stop with the princess."

"Ok, what about honey?"

"No."

"How about darling?"

"Absolutely not. I'm not fifty."

"Sweetheart?"

I giggled, "still no."

"Alright, how about just Luce?"

"Hmm..." I put my hand on my chin, "I can live with that."

"Ok deal." We both laughed, staring at each other just like the other night, his eyes still filled with love.

I couldn't get enough of him.

"Are you two going to sit down or are you going to hold us up even longer?" The bus driver said.

Attitude much?

"Sorry." We both said, heading to one of the empty seats in the back.

Hey guys! I keep forgetting to add this note but I wanted to thank all of you for writing those encouraging messages to me about the bullying and everything. It means so much to me that you would take time out of your day to send me a private message, write on my board, and even comment on my story. Because of you guys, you have inspired me to write a self love and caring book that can benefit all of us. I don't know what it will include yet but I want everyone who reads this book to be involved so if you think that's a good idea please comment and tell me what you think. I was also thinking about making a rant book but I don't know just comment.

Thank you all again. Much love.