Finally made the Stew out of 3 year old plot bunny
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I cannot fathom to tell you how it feels. How it feels to be so close to something you want and it's still out of your reach. So close that you can touch it if you just straighten out your hand, but still so far away that you can not reach it even if you run hundreds of miles towards it. And trust me, it's absolutely soul-shredding. This yearning is so aching that it rattles my bones, literally. But how will you know this. It's not you who has to go through this gut wrenching feeling every-time you see her….

Right. The object of my fascination is not an object by the way. Its not an 'it'. 'It's' a She. She, the one who has been haunting my dreams for quite some time now. Where she languidly enters the periphery of my vision with that sultry smile. Can you imagine what it does to me? No' you can not. You have not been in my position.

What upsets me more is how long it took me to notice her. She has been working under me for around 7 years now. And in the beginning she was another junior colleague I had to work with. You see, I have worked with lots of people. Lots of different kinds of people. Good-bad, straight forward-sly, honest-dishonest, open-shy, hard working-lazy…. Lots of different kind. And at first I passed her up as one of these various kinds and forgot her out of workplace for next four years. And then came the time I first noticed her, pro-per-ly.

She had been hurt, badly. She was on the verge of passing out out of pain and ambulance was on the way. Everybody was frantic and helping ease her pain. And she had been leaning against me. I had taken out my tie to use it as a makeshift bandage to staunch her blood flow. She had been gasping for breathe and was going into shock. And that's when I first felt her. Out of panic she grabbed my hand and I held her. And then I noticed. That hard working, calloused, some what scarred but still smooth, lovely, peach white but some what tanned due outdoor work, hand. It was so tiny compared to mine. But it did feel right in my hand. That moment shot a spark up my spine and stirred up desire deep inside me. In those nether regions I had thought had died alongside my wife. And I could only gaze her creamy neck. I just wanted to taste that skin, or maybe devour. I don't know. But the sight of her exposed skin put me in some kind of trance. And only thing I could see were her luscious feature. The shape of her jaw, or her cheekbones, or it would be the scar on her shoulder, I could see peeking out of her shirt collar, or that small nose dragging ragged breath. I don't know how long I was staring at her like that but the arrival of ambulance staff broke me out of my revere.

And to tell you the truth, I couldn't face her for next few weeks. I barely visited her in hospital during her entire stay. And when inquired by rest of my team, I came up with some lame-ass excuses and kept myself away from her intoxicating presence. But you wouldn't know my plight. You weren't there as I descended into madness, pining after someone I couldn't get.

Since that day, I have been plagued by these indecent thoughts. At first they were no less than nightmares. Having wet dreams about someone so much younger than yourself and waking up to morning wood it no joke. Most days I would take cold showers but as time passed on, something happened to me. Maybe seeing her back in office after 3 weeks broke something in me. I pleased myself for the first time, that night, thinking of her smiling face. And my wild mind took an unexpected turn in that shower. In my thoughts she has that alluring smile instead of easy one she had sported in the day. And to my guilty pleasure…

Daybreak used to bring back guilt and shame that nightfall and darkness never did. Although I knew it was wrong, I couldn't help but long for that taste. The taste I never had fortune to taste.

But with time and tide I over came my guilt. I don't even know how, but I did. I left behind the feeling of overwhelming guilt of getting infatuated with a younger female. Younger than my own son, had he lived. That could never be love. I know the feeling of love and feeling of being in love. That will always be the one that got away. Went away for ever. I can barely describe my desire to have that body beneath me, writhing in pleasure possibly or at least to end this maddening wonder of how she feels.

You see, I have not gone mad. Its just a curiosity. And even though they say that "Curiosity killed the Cat", I do not think that it would apply to me. After all I believe I am not a cat. At least I wasn't the last time checked.

And if you think I did nothing else than pine after unattainable, you're utterly wrong. I got my first chance almost 17 months back. I had deliberately stayed late and made sure she had too. Giving her challenging piece of work was not challenge itself. She thrived in challenge and hard work. Proving herself and making difference around her was all that she wanted. Holding her back in the office and keeping constant watch on her from my cabin as she chews on the pencil was agonizing. Her sensual lips around that pencil's end was an erotic scene I had never even thought about. For a second there I almost blacked out of blood rush to my groins. I had to grip the table so tight that my knuckles must have turned white.

Try to imagine my painfully slow steps towards the woman I was fantasizing about. So naïve and unsuspecting as she started to turn off her computer to leave for home. I was so close to her I could almost smell her apple perfume. That was the first time I got to know how she smelt like. So alluring and sexy. With my hands inches away from her waist I was almost upon the victory when her cell phone started ringing. For heaven's sake, what will it take to get to that bitch.

Turns out it was another of my junior colleague calling to ask if she was ready to go, which she was, and was waiting in the parking. I immediately had to back away to a respectable distance, since quick as lightening she turned back, wished me good night and sauntered out of office. Bloody good night? She was going to torture me in my dreams and that harlot had the audacity to wish me good night? I'm gonna get to her someday.

But one failure is hardly sufficient to deter me. And unsuspecting her was not going anywhere either. I was ready to wait like a predator…

My another chance presented itself to me wrapped up in glitters 5 months ago. Turns out madam had punctured her tires and working late, co-incidentally. And I also happen to have stayed back for last minute emergency. And the clock struck 1 AM even before we registered. I was just pulling out of office parking when I saw her standing on the road side trying to hail a cab. I could hardly believe my luck. Maybe fate had finally smiled down upon me. Little me inside my head had started to "Gangnam dance" out of sheer pleasure. I pulled down my car windows and offered her a lift. Wasn't hard to convince her, which I was a little disappointed upon. Seeing our profession, she should have been wary and cautious at all times. But no. That idiotic woman just smiled and climbed in. To be honest I had cultivated a little fantasy of taking her kicking and screaming and thrashing like a hellcat to my bed, for all her worth. And her compliance was a little turn off. But beggars can hardly be choosers, so I took what was offered. I drove towards her home.

All the way, little miss perfect kept chattering about everything and anything under the sun. Started to give me a headache. I would rather use her petite little mouth for something entirely else. But I was heading towards that goal ultimately. I knew of little back road which would take us right back to the way back to MY home. And my fantasy would come true. Adult sites had given me some raunchy ideas. In last 10 month I had collected various sensual adult novelty product discreetly. And since I lived alone no one was none the wiser. And I had almost made the turn when I saw her gun in her reach and I knew she was not afraid to use it. If need ever arose, she'd shoot me with just a single second thought. You never under estimate a woman like her.

So to save myself and keep her oblivious of my intention, I was forced to take the right path and drop her safely. Another chance missed. The wench slipped off again.

Since then I have been abiding my time and waiting for another opportunity. I have been patient this whole time, I can be patient for few more hours. Few more hours because if everything goes as I planned, I will be the victor and no one will know either. My enemies of last two failures won't be able to stop me today. I had asked for her phone today in midmorning and send her on a wild goose chase while I sat back and drained her phone's battery. I'm sure it will be dead by late night. And there also had been the luck that I was able to sabotage her gun. Now she won't be able to whip up her weapon and foil my carefully thought about plan. Without her weapon to defend herself with and any way to ask of help, that tramp is not going anywhere. It was really difficult to bend down and puncture a tire inside the parking space of heavily secured government building. But I'm nothing if not persistent. Tire by another tire, I gave her 2 flat tires. And myself an opportunity to screw her finally.

I was barely able to recognize my own reflection in the mirror. That sinister grin really suits me.

And now you may think that she is excellent in hand to hand combat and how our age difference put me in disadvantage in front of such strong young woman. But when would chloroform bottle be of use…..

Another topic that puts me in good mood is that I'll never be caught. I might sound boastful but it's true. I'll never be caught. And do you know why? Its all because I know all about how criminals' minds work. And moreover I know how an investigator thinks. ACP Damodar hasn't grayed his hair for nothing. I know everything I need to know about law. And I know I'll be the ultimate Victor. That cock-tease swaying hips will be in my grip tonight. By hook or by crook.

I sit back smiling like a Cheshire cat and wave off rest of my team home. Today I have given her extra workload just to make sure that she and I are last one in the bureau. I haven't given her a moment's peace today to keep her distracted. She hasn't seen her battery die down, nor had the time to pick up her service gun from our *ammunition department. And she definitely could not go down to check her car. And I do have a dose of chloroform just in case. As I said I want a hell cat, I intend to use it as last resort only.

Its almost 12:30 AM and I can hardly contain my libido. She can not escape me this night. Tonight she will be mine. Just mine. Just like I had fantasized. I might have to refrain from slapping or binding or rough-housing her. I definitely don't have the stamina the guys in blue-film possess. But I hope for few rounds. I can see her wrapping up her things to leave for the day. I have to move quick and precise if I want to catch her in the place where our security camera doesn't cover.

And lo and behold, she herself gives me the opportunity as she moves to far left corner of the room to turn off the power supply to the unnecessary part to bureau. I move as light footed as a cheetah in Savannah and stand behind her.

An my erotica starts as soft gasp leaves Tara's lips when the barrel of my gun touches the small of her back.
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Nowhere is safe. No one is trustworthy. And you need to be on guard 24*7. What has our world come to? You can barely trust your own family.

And then there is the mask. Different faces people wear everyday. And the sly demon is so expert in hiding that you can barely identify it.

Remember... Nowhere is safe if you let your guard down

PS: I'm not studing criminal psychology or creeps researching just trying to think what goes through that horrible mind of theirs.