When they got to the bottom of the stairs Sofia spotted Bella and ran to her.
"Hi soso" Bella said picking Sofia up.

Callie could also see Isabella's face was a bit swollen from crying. She looked over at Emily and gave her a sad smiled.
"How's everyone?" She asked.

"Okay" Penelope said.

"Mommy I'm hungry" Sofia said still on Bella's arms.

"Do you want some cereal?" Bella asked.

"Yeah" Sofia said. Callie didn't give Sofia breakfast because she knew Bella wasn't eating well and she thought her daughter having breakfast with Bella could help.
But she was wrong.

Everyone was sitting at the kitchen island while Emily and Callie grabbed the things.

"Which one do you want?" Emily asked Bella, holding up Lucky Charms and Frosted Flakes.

"I'm not hungry. I just want some juice" Bella said. Emily gave her an understanding smile.

"Just a little bit?" Emily asked and Bella shook her head no.

"Keep Sofia company, honey" Callie said.

"I'm pretty sure she doesn't mind" Isabella said. "I'm not hungry." She said serious.

"Alright. But you are eating lunch later today. Okay?" Emily said.

"Sure" Isabella said grabbing her glass of orange juice.

There was not much talking at breakfast. They just talked a little about Sofia's funny way of eating cereal and that was it. When Bella was done with her juice she said she was going to take a shower and went upstairs. That gave the older women some time to talk.

"What happened last night?" Callie asked.

"Why are you asking that?" Penelope asked surprised at how she just knew something was up.

"Bella is wearing long sleeves and pants, she looks like there was a tsunami on her face and Emily didn't even push it harder for her to eat. So what happened?" Callie said.

"She woke up and just broke down" Emily said.

"Oh no" Callie said.

"She kept saying she wanted to sleep and that she was tired and she wanted John and she was so scared I was going to leave her too" Emily said.
She didn't really like talking about it but Callie was like a second mom to Bella. She was always there when the kid needed and she deserved to know.
"She just sobbed you know" Emily said.

Callie was feeling so bad for Bella. She knew that kid was tough and to learn that she sobbed broke her heart.

"Did she sleep after that?" Callie asked.

"Impressively she did" Emily said. "Almost all night. She just woke up once but was asleep again really quick"

"That's good" Callie said with a sad smile.

"She was just so tired." Penelope said.

"I just hope she has a better night tonight" JJ said.

"Yeah" Emily gave JJ a sad smile with hopeful eyes.

"She'll be okay." Callie said.

They were interrupted by the buzzer. It was Shepherd, Isabella's godfather. He went up and the women welcomed him in.

"Where's Bella?" That was the first thing Shepherd asked.

"She went to take a shower" Callie said.

"And how is she?" He asked giving Emily a hug.

"She broke down yesterday night" Emily said.

"Really?" He asked looking upset and gave Emily another hug.

"She'll be okay." He said smiling.

They went to sit down in the living room. Callie placed Sofia on the floor with a couple of toys.

"You brought her to cheer Bella up?" Shepherd asked.

"Yeah. But it's not going that great though" Callie said.

"So what exactly happened last night?" He asked and Emily told the entire story.

"At least you know she's talking a bit" he said. "Is she eating much?" He asked.

"No. Barely anything" Emily said.

"Try to give her things she likes and I'm sure little by little she'll get there" he said and suddenly Bella showed up.
"Hi" he said going up to her and picking her up. She had black leggings on and was wearing one of her brothers Harvard's hoodie that was, of course, super lose on her.

Shepherd put her down and she went to sit next to Emily.
He sat on the couch and said "hey come here" with a smile. Isabella went and sat on his lap. She was facing her mother and Shepherd rested his head on her shoulder.

"Well, I came by to check on you and also to ask if you would like to go bowling with me tonight" he said. Bowling was their thing. They went just the two of them all the time.

"Tonight?" Bella asked not sounding very excited.

"Yeah. You and I" he said.

"I don't know" Bella said looking down at Sofia playing.

"I already looked up online for bowling places in DC for us. Do you want to see?" Shepherd said.

"You did?" She asked surprised.

"Of course I did. We need one for when I visit you. Just like when you were in New York" he said. When Isabella was younger she lived in NYC and Shepherd lived there too but when she was about 4 he moved to Seattle and she only moved there a year later.

"It's close to your mom's apartment. We can walk there" he said sounding excited.

"Really?" She asked.

"Yeah" he said. "Do you wanna go with me tonight?" He asked but she didn't say anything. "Just for a little while." He said.

"He can bring you home whenever you want to" Emily said smiling at Bella. She knew Isabella needed to get out of the house and try to focus on other things too.

"Okay" Bella said.

"Yeah?" Shepherd asked surprised she actually said yes.

"Yeah" she said. He hugged her from behind.

"Alright so I pick you up at 7, okay?" He said.

"Okay" Bella agreed.

"Well I gotta go. I gotta watch the kids today" he said. Isabella got up and sat next to her mom.
"Bye." He told everyone. "I'll see you later" he said.

JJ walked him out.
While she did that Isabella got up and headed upstairs. She didn't say anything she just went. Emily could see Isabella was upset with something so she decided to give her some time.
Bella went up and climbed on her bed and used all the strength she had not to cry. She covered herself up. She didn't feel like doing anything. She didn't want to go bowling. She didn't even know why she said yes. She just felt like she wanted to lay down all day and be with her mother.

Downstairs, after a while Callie asked "do you want me to talk to her?"

"No, I'll go" Emily said getting up.

"Hey. Anything. We are here" JJ said and Emily smiled.

She went up and found Bella in bed buried beneath all the blankets that were on her bed. She lifted the blankets and crawled into the bed, lying on her side. She reached up and peeled the blankets down, revealing her daughter's eyes that looked up at her through a sheet of tears. Emily squirmed further down so she was eye leveled with Bella. She rested her palm on Isabella's pale cheek, using her thumb to brush away a tear. Wordlessly they looked at each other, and Emily, for the thousandth time, tried to imagine herself in Bella's position.

How would she feel? What would she do?

She put the conversation on hold and instead just pulled Bella into her arms, she wrapped her up in them and wished she still had the power to make everything in Bella's world okay like when she was little.

After about 20 minutes of just lying there Bella sat on the bed. She had stopped crying a long time ago.

"I'm gonna go play with Sofia, okay?" She told Emily.

"Alright" Emily smiled sitting on the bed. Isabella started getting off the bed and Emily grabbed her hand.

"You're gonna be okay there" she said firmly with a smile. Isabella nodded and breathed in deep.
"If you want to come back just tell him" Emily said. Bella gave her a smile and headed off. Emily got up and went after Bella.

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The rest of the morning went okay.
Isabella played around with Sofia and even giggled a little bit when Sofia started making funny faces at her. Emily felt like she could hear that sound all day. Isabella was distracted by Sofia so the women kind of just relaxed and watched tv.
Around 1 Penelope said "guys I'm hungry" she said with such a knocked out voice that made everyone laugh but Bella. She got nervous because she didn't feel like eating but she knew they would make her do it.

"I can make spaghetti if you guys want" Callie said. "Or we can order"

"Unmm home made spaghetti would go great right now" Penelope said. "You like spaghetti, right Bella?" She asked.

"Sure" Bella said with a little smile.

Everyone could see she was uncomfortable but they just went with it, scared that if they said something she wouldn't eat at all.

Callie got off the couch and headed to the kitchen. Everyone followed her besides Bella and Sofia who stayed playing together on the floor. After a while lunch was ready.

"We should set up the table" JJ said.

"Yeah maybe she'll eat with everyone together" Penelope said.

"Yeah that's a good idea and I don't think they ever used the table anyways" Callie said knowing they could maybe think sitting down for lunch at the table could bring up memories.

Emily and Penelope went on setting up the table. When it was done Callie took the food there and JJ went to get Bella and Sofia.

Isabella was really nervous. She felt like she was about to throw up. She didn't feel like eating at all but she went and sat down next to her mother. Callie was next to her and JJ and Penelope on the other side. Emily picked Bella's plate up and poured some spaghetti in there. It was a decent amount but Isabella said "mom that's too much"

"There's barely anything in there, munchkin" Callie said. She didn't mind being seen as the bad guy in Bella's eyes as long as she ate.

Isabella started rolling around her fork and was barely putting any food in her mouth. No one said anything.
They talked about Callie's work in the hospital and how the BAU was, completely ignoring the fact that Bella was just playing around with her food.

When everyone was almost done Callie asked Bella "Do you want some more?"

Isabella had more than half of the pasta still on her plate. She answered without taking her eyes of the plate "No I'm fine"

Callie grabbed Bella's fork. "Stop this" she said firmly but not harsh. Isabella didn't look at her.
"Why don't you wanna eat?" She asked. Isabella didn't answer. She felt like she was about to explode.
"Hey look at me" she said putting her hand on Bella's cheek. Isabella looked up.
"Why don't you wanna eat?" She asked again.

"I'm just not hungry" Bella said as her eyes filled with tears.

"How about if you tried to eat anyways so you can get strong, huh? You don't need to be hungry to eat something, munchkin" Callie said softly. Everyone had finished eating and was just watching them.

"I don't want too" Bella said embarrassed.

"How about some ice cream?" Callie said. She would try every kind of food if she had to.

"I'm not hungry" Bella said and tried to stand up and leave but Callie stopped her.

"Let me go" she said as tears started to fall. Callie was holding her arm and she realized Callie wouldn't let go so she sat back down and shoved her head on her mother's lap. Emily just soothed her hair and Callie let go of her arm.

Bella was laying her head on Emily's lap and she started sobbing. "I'm not hungry, okay?! I'm not" she cried.

Emily started to pull Bella up and pulled her into her arms. She just hugged her and said "honey, I'm sorry but we are not gonna let you get sick. You need to eat" she said holding back her tears.

"I ate mom" Bella cried.

"barely anything, baby" she said looking straight at Bella's eyes.

"I can't eat more. I don't feel good" Bella said. And that was when they all thought she was having an anxiety attack.

"What exactly are you feeling?" JJ asked.

"Like I'm gonna throw up" Bella said.

Emily placed her hand on Bella's chest to feel her heart and it was beating really fast.

"Honey, you are just anxious. That's what's happening" Emily said. "You won't throw up."

Isabella didn't say anything she just cried.

"How about we wait till it gets better and you can try to eat a little bit more?" Callie asked.
"Hunm how about that?"

"Okay" Bella said. She could feel her face was red and she felt like she was going to throw up at any time now.

"Honey, you're shaking" Emily said.

"I don't feel good" Bella said.

"It will go away soon" JJ said.

"I can't breathe... Mommy" Isabella cried.

Callie looked at her and saw her face. She realized Bella was having a panic attack. The anxiety attack meant she was probably on the verge of one and she didn't have one before because she got away with what was triggering it but this time they didn't let her get away so she ended up having one.

"She's having a panic attack" Callie said standing up to go get a paper bag. Emily sat Bella up on the chair beside her.

"Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth" she said calmly. Isabella did that as tears streamed down her face. She was shaking and sweating and her face was burning up and red.

JJ went to get some water and Penelope ran up to Bella's bedroom to get her blanket, she thought that might help.

"You're gonna be okay. Shuuuu Shuu" Emily kept telling Bella and running her hand on her back.

Callie went over with the paper bag.
"Breathe into this" she said holding the bag in front of Isabella's mouth and nose. Bella started breathing there and she could feel it heavy so she pushed it away because it didn't feel like helping.
"Hey no no no. it's gonna make it better, honey" Callie said putting it back in place.

It took a about 2 minutes for her breathing to get better. She was still crying and feeling sick but her heart wasn't beating that crazy anymore. When she felt a bit better she pushed the paper bag away and got up to sit on Emily's lap.

"Let's go to the couch" Emily said.

"Okay" Bella said. She was so embarrassed.

"Come here" Emily said picking her up and heading to the living room.
She sat on the couch with Bella still crying in her arms. Penelope got there and handed the blanket to Bella.

"You don't ever need to hide it from us" she said.

Isabella laid her head on her mother's chest and snuggled the blanket while her mom was hugging her tight.

"It's okay. I'm right here" Emily said giving Bella a kiss on the cheek.

Bella cried herself to sleep after a few minutes.

"So... that went well" JJ said sarcastically.

"At least we found out what's really going on" Emily said.

"She must have felt this on the first time she ate after it all happened and now every time she has to eat it comes back" Callie said.

"Everything she needed now. Fucking panic attacks." Penelope said looking upset.

"Hey. You don't cuss. Ever" JJ said.

"I'm just upset. I'm sorry sugarplum" Penelope said.

"She'll be fine" Emily said. "We just need to deal with it"

"Yeah. She needs to see she won't throw up if she eats because I know that's what is scaring her" Callie said.

"Yeah" Emily agreed.

"What do you mean?" Penelope asked.

"Throwing up means she's sick and if she is that means hospital and believe me that's the last place she wants to go to" Callie said and Penelope nodded understanding.

"We just need to explain that to her. And it won't be easy" Emily said.

"I think you should call it off the bowling tonight" JJ said. "I don't think she'll get out the door"

"Yeah I agree" Emily said.

"I can call Shep if you like. So you can just stay here with her" Callie said.

"Alright" Emily agreed.

Callie walked to the kitchen to get her phone.

Isabella woke up with the sound of JJ's phone ringing.

"Hey go back to sleep. It's just JJ's phone" Emily whispered and placed her hand on Bella's cheek and she closed her eyes again.

JJ got up and answered. It was Hotch and he told her they had an urgent case in Jackson, Mississippi, and they had to leave. She and Penelope said goodbye to Callie and Sofia and went to say bye to Emily.

"You're going back on Sunday, right?" Penelope asked.

"That's the plan. But if something shows up I'll let you guys know" Emily answered. JJ went down, soothed Bella's hair and kissed her on the forehead. "See you soon" she said.

Isabella opened her eyes.

"Hi" JJ said. "We are going back"

"Right now?" Bella asked whispering.

"Yeah. We have a case" JJ said.

"But we see you in a couple of day, alright!?" Penelope said excited.

"Alright" Bella said sitting up to hug them. They said their goodbyes and left.

Callie went back from the kitchen.
"He said he'll stop by later tonight for a movie" she said.

"He who?" Bella asked still a bit sleepy.

"Shepherd. We called off bowling" Emily said.

"Really?" Bella asked sounding grateful.

"Yeah" Emily said. Bella gave her a little smile. She was feeling a bit better.

"Do you wanna watch a movie?" She asked her mom.

"Sure" Emily said. Callie picked Sofia up and sat on the couch with her.

"This one needs a nap" she said smiling.

They just watched the movie and Sofia slept through the the whole thing.