"I wish so badly to love you like how the sun loves the moon. But I am welled up with complete fear of losing myself in you. And for that, I am sorry."

In Heaven || Six

-

It was Friday. Uneventful as Jeongguk walked out of school with Taehyung by his side. They had agreed to go to Jeongguks apartment once again to finish their school project. It almost was nearly completed.

The last two days were, let's just say, not the same. Not that there was ever a routine the two had together but Taehyung's absence in calling him petnames and holding him close had come to a halt. And Jeongguk had taken notice of course.

That day at lunch where they held hands and sat closer than ever, that was the end of a beginning that never got a chance to get past the prologue.

But they had made an agreement, right? To stay just friends. Friends. That word again. What a weird word, honestly.

"You've been quiet. Penny for your thoughts?" Taehyung asked handing a Jeongguk a penny with a cheeky smile as they sat down in the car.

Jeongguk smiled deeply, taking the penny from the boy who started the car, "I'm stuck at a crossroads." He let out, looking over at Taehyung who had his eyes on the road as he drove down the main street.

Taehyung glanced over at him,
"And why may that be?" He asked turning his attention back towards the road.

It was a cold day. Cloudier than usual. It made Jeongguk feel quieter than usual, the whether matching his mood for the day.

"It's nothing all that interesting really." He mumbled playing with his seatbelt as he looked outside the window. Seeing all the passing buildings flashing by a in a hurry.

Jeongguk wanted to tell Taehyung he liked him. He didn't really know if he did though. Like him that is. A part of him told him to blurt out "I like you" but something in him kept shouting no. That someone like Taehyung deserved better. Better than Jeongguk.

So that was his crossroads. Two choices. Stay quiet or say your feelings. He chose the first one.

Taehyung already believed he liked Namjoon. So he decided to keep going with that.

"If it's worrying you, I think it does matter." Taehyung responded stopping at a red light, turning towards Jeongguk who looked at him meekly.

He continued with his words,
"It's alright if you don't want to tell me. But don't act like your problems aren't problems. Don't sweep it under the rug and get surprised when the dust piles up. Not solving problems lead to more problems." Taehyung said stepping on the gas pedal as the light turned green.

Jeongguk nodded staying silent, letting Taehyung's words sink in.
He looked over at him, taking in a deep breath, "A-are you going to be b-busy tomorrow?" He asked nervously.

Taehyung looked over at him,
"No, I don't think so. Not unless my aunt wants me to go do something with her." He replied, "Why?"

Jeongguk looked away feeling his face heat up, "I was w-wondering if we could do s-something together." He said meekly waiting for Taehyung's response.

Taehyung's eyes widened in surprise as he stopped at another red light,
"You want to do something with me tomorrow?" He asked again just to make sure. Jeongguk nodded his head quickly.

"Ok then, I'll pick you up at twelve tomorrow then we can go do something." Taehyung said smiling at him before pressing down on the gas pedal.

They arrived at Jeongguk's apartment. Reaching his floor in the elevator. Jeongguk unlocked the door letting Taehyung in first.

"All we need to finish is the last slide then we're done." Taehyung said sitting on the couch, getting his laptop out from his backpack.

Jeongguk set his backpack on the ground next to the couch, walking back over to the kitchen,
"Do you want anything to eat? Drink?" He asked opening the fridge and getting his daily dose of Banana Milk.

Taehyung shook his, smiling gently at Jeongguk who sat down next to him,
"You know, I've always noticed your love for Banana Milk." He laughed looking at Jeongguk with the sweetest look ever that had Jeongguk melting.

Jeongguk blushed, "You seem to notice everything about me." He replied setting his drink down and getting comfortable on the couch, scooting just a tiny bit closer to Taehyung.

"I guess when you like someone all you do is notice the small things about them." Taehyung said as he opened his laptop. Jeongguk froze in his spot. He swore he could feel his heart leaping around in his chest.

Taehyung stopped typing as he realized what he had just said,
"Oh- I didn't mean that- just ignore w-what I said." He rushed out, his face getting warm from embarresment.

Jeongguk stuttered over his words,
"I thought y-you said that you didn't l-like me anymore." He whispered out feeling clueless.

Taehyung looked over at him with a worried look, "I don't. I don't like you a-anymore. It was just a mistake." He said running his hnd through his hair,
"I mean, you like Namjoon so what I say doesn't matter, right?" He continued whispering the last part. As if he wasn't so sure of what he was saying either.

Jeongguk wasn't so sure why he felt his heart drop and why his chest stung at Taehyung's words. He nodded looking away, "Y-yeah. Yeah, you're right. Sorry." He muttered feeling sad.

An awkward silence filled the air as they sat there not really knowing what to do. Taehyung typed as he glanced over at the quiet boy next to him from time to time.

Jeongguk stared at his banana milk. Not having the desire to finish it anymore. His fingers traced the threading on the couch, as his mind traced over Taehyungs words again and again.

He wished he could talk to Jimin about it. But the boy had gotten his phone taken away.

"You're awfully quiet." Taehyung stated pointing out the obvious as he glanced over at the boy from the corner of his eye. He sighed when he didn't get a response.

Putting the laptop on the coffe table and turning towards the mute boy,
"Something wrong?" He asked gently leaning into Jeongguks view and brushing the fluffy hair out of his eyes.

Jeongguk gave a tight small smile and shook his head, "No. I'm ok. I'm just tired." He lied. With every word he felt his chest pang with pain. He leaned away from Taehyung, sitting back into the couch.

Taehyung wanted to ask more but seeing as the boy was unresponsive be didn't budge any further. Instead nodding and going back to typing.

An hour passed as Taehyung submitted their assignment. Looking over at Jeongguk who had fallen asleep on the couch. He smiled gently, setting the laptop on the coffee table.

And hooking his arms under Jeongguk, carrying him bridal style. Jeongguk snuggled into his chest, the familiar scent of mint and leather coming to mind.

Taehyung pushed open the bedroom door and placing Jeongguk in bed under the blanket. He chuckled as he watched Jeongguk hide away beneath the covers, brushing his hand through the boys hair.

Taehyung leaned down and kissed him on the forehead, pulling away quickly. He smiled one last time before getting up and leaving the boys room. Grabbing his laptop and things before heading home.

-

Jeongguk put on his yellow Apoc jacket and tied up his black Vans. Walking over to the bathroom and checking his hair. He wanted to make sure he looked nice. For a second the thought of wanting to look nice for Taehgung slipped into his mind. But only for a second.

He heard a knock on his door, smiling and running over to it. Unlocking the door and opening it seeing Taehyung standing there with a small smile.

"You look extra dolled up today." Taehyung complimented, pointing to the boys outfit and tiny bit of makeup.
Jeongguk blushed, trying his best to hide his big smile.

"You look nice too." He said feeling shy. Taehyung was wearing black jeans with a white cotton shirt, covered with a leather jacket. His brown hair ruffled nicely looking fluffy.

Taehyung laughed, "Ready to go?" He asked. Jeongguk nodded while smiling.

-

"So what's the plan for today?" Jeongguk asked curiously while Taehyung drove him somewhere.

Taehyung smirked at him,
"It's a secret." He winked before turning back towards the road. Jeongguk blushed trying his best to hide his pink face.

"Such a flirt." He mumbled while smiling, playing with the hem of his jacket. Taehyung chuckled, "You don't like me being a flirt?" He teased.

Jeongguk giggled and shook his head, his pretty pink lips in a pout. Looking outside the car window and seeing the buildings fly past them in a flurry,
"Are you sure you're not kidnapping me?" Jeongguk teased as he laughed again.

Taehyung chuckled, "Oh, I'm sure if I wanted to kidnap someone you'd be the last person on the list." He said proudly.

Jeongguk rolled his eyes with a small smile, "And why may that be?" He asked with his eyebrows raised.

Taehyung smirked, giving him a smug look, "Don't you save the best for last?" He responded, eyes sharp as a grin painted his face. Knowing he made the boy flustered.

Said boy went red as he smacked Taehyung's arm, "Don't say stupid things!" Jeongguk exclaimed still smacking his arm.

Taehyung broke out into a laugh his smirk and smug look leaving his face.
"Come on, it was a joke." He laughed out as Jeongguk playfully hit his shoulder, "And stop it with the hitting, don't want to get into an accident." He teased as he pinched Jeongguk's red cheek.

Jeongguk swatted his hand away,
"Just drive." He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. He was trying so hard to suppress his smile. But he couldn't. No matter how hard he tried to.

Taehyung always seemed to make him smile. It scared him how much happiness he was being given. To the point where he was scared to become dependant on it. Because what if Taehyung stopped supplying it? Then what?

He would break down and there would be no more smiles. To become vulnerable to someone. To become dependant on someone making you happy. Everything you pin down onto that person it can all vanish with one loose thread.

So yes, Jeongguk was scared to like Taehyung. One person he loved had already left his life. That left him cracked. If another left he would break. Jeongguk's mind was not as simple as it seems.

Everyone has reasons for the way they are. Even if it seems so simple to pick an option, one who has been through losses may not trust either options given.

Jeongguk was so scared Taehyung would leave him somehow. So that's why he chose to stay friends. He thought he helped himself hurt less. But instead he made it worse for himself. And he knew it too.

Pain hurts most when you inflict it upon yourself and you know it is no one else's fault but your own.

But sometimes it's easier to paint on a smile and say "I'm just tired". Tired of what exactly? Lying to yourself? Hurting yourself? Life? Really, what are you tired of?

"Jeongguk? Earth to Jeongguk?" Taehyung asked while waving his hand in front of Jeongguk's face,
"You spaced out for a second." He continued.

Jeongguk awkwardly laughed,
"Oh- I'm s-sorry." He smiled. The one where your lips feel tight because you're trying so hard to make it look real, "I'm just tired." He lied.

Taehyung parked the car, giving him a worried glance as he turned off the engine, "Are you eating well? How about sleep?" He asked worridly.

Jeongguk just smiled, "Just bad sleep. It's nothing serious, you can calm down."

It was then Jeongguk noticed where they were, looking outside the window, a smile grew onto his pretty face, "How'd you know?" He asked Taehyung as the gentlemen opened the car door for him.

Taehyung smiled gently, "I remembered once back in middle school when we went to that art museum. You looked really happy just looking at all the art, so I thought maybe I'd bring you to one." He said sheepishly.

Jeongguk laughed with a smile,
"How do you always manage to remember such small things?" He asked as he and Taehyung walked to the entrance of the museum.

Taehyung shrugged, "I like to remember the things that make you happy. A smile looks really beautiful on you." He explained with a warm hearted smile that made Jeongguk melt.

Jeongguk ducked his head down in embarresment as he tried his best to hide the blush forming on his face as well as the smile. "You're really nice." Jeongguk said suddenly feeling hot from all the attention on him.

Taehyung opened the door to the entrance for them, letting Jeongguk walk in first, "All for you." He winked at the boy who giggled back at him cutely.

They walked to the front, Taehyung purchasing two tickets for them. Jeongguk wanted to pay but got shut down immidelity once Taehyung payed for them first.

They began to walk around, looking at all the pieces of artwork that were hung up on the wall.

"What do you like art?" Jeongguk asked quietly to not disturb the other people who were there also.

Taehyung smiled down at him,
"I like how it tells a story. The artist behind it drew a story they wanted to tell others through the colors they used to the very brushstrokes onto the canvas. Each and every single painting holds a story that can be interpreted in a million different ways." Taehyung responded taking in a deep breath, looking at all the colors surrounding them, "Everything can be interpreted in different ways. Everything has color to it. Everything is art." He finished off, giving Jeongguk a warm hearted smile.

Jeongguk looked at him with his big doe eyes that always seemed to glisten with stars. Being entranced by the others pretty words.

Taehyung looked at him with fondness in his eyes with a hint of something else Jeongguk couldn't pick up on, he smiled gently, "You're art, Jeongguk."

Jeongguk looked away and patted his face, feeling the warmness on his fingertips. His chest fluttering at the words. He tried his best not to smile. But it began painting itself onto his pretty lips anyways.

Jeongguk fumbled with his jacket,
"I d-don't really think I'm all that special." He mumbled out as they walked along the halls of artwork. He glanced up at Taehyung who frowned at him.

"Everyone's special, they just choose not to notice it. You're so special, Jeongguk. I'm gonna make you see it one day. How special you are." Taehyung said feeling determined to make sure Jeongguk would feel special one day.

Jeongguk smiled at the others words,
"You don't n-need to. I'm ok." He replied shortly as they rounded a corner.

"And why not?"

Jeongguk let out a breath, nervously rubbing his hands on his jeans. He didn't know if he should say it or not.
"You'll be wasting your time trying to make me feel special." He said looking down at the ground.

He could already feel Taehyung getting ready to answer back but cut him off, looking up at him with his face that was painted with shades of pink, "Y-You'll be wasting your time because y-you already make me feel s-special."

The other looked at him with a hint of surprise and shock on his face at the boys confession. Jeongguk looked away in embarresment and began walking, muttering his regrets to himself.

Taehyung jogged up to him and grabbed his hand, "I'm glad." He said making Jeongguk confused. "I'm glad I make you feel special. Because you are, Jeongguk. You're so goddamned special." He let out, holding onto both of Jeongguk's tiny hands.

Jeongguk looked down at him and Taehyung's hands, smiling to himself, getting that tight feeling in his chest.
"You're special too." Jeongguk smiled.

Taehyung smiled back at and continued to walk through the gallery. Jeongguk looked down at their intertwined hands, "A-aren't you going to let go?" He asked while looking up at the boy.

Taehyung shook his head, gently squeezing his hand, "What if you get lost?"

Jeongguk shot him a glare, "I'm not that tiny, I can't get lost that easily." He pouted breaking his hand off, and crossing his arms across his chest.

Taehyung laughed at his cuteness unwrapping his arms and taking hold of his hand again. He leaned down to the boys ear cupping it, "Between me and you, that was my excuse to hold your hand." He whispered.

He pulled away and continued walking with the boys small hand in his. Jeongguk pouted, "You always try to make me flustered on purpose! It's not fair."

"If you can make me flustered one day, I'll give you present. Deal?" Taehyung said pinching the boys puffy pink cheek only to get his hand swatted away.

"Ok fine. But you remember this promise ok?" Jeongguk said sticking out his pinky. Taehyung rolled his eyes but locked their pinkys together forming another promise.

They seemed to be making those a lot lately.

Taehyung let go and continued to walk through the gallery until he felt a hand slip into his. Looking at the boy beside him with a confused look.

"Just in case you get lost." Jeongguk mumbled swaying their hands back and forth.

Taehyung chuckled, "I'm afraid I've already gotten lost."

"Lost in what?"

"You."

-

Jeongguk smiled as he and Taehyung walked towards the book store. Having just came from the art museum. He ran towards all the books like a little kid making Taehyung laugh at the sight.

"Ahh, I love the smell of books." Jeongguk sighed as he walked through the aisle of books. Looking for one that peaked his interest.

Taehyung hummed, picking up a book from the shelf, "If you were a book, I would want to spend my days ever so re-reading your vast canvas of color. So that maybe your bright light could ever taint my own plain canvas." He said looking at Jeongguk.

Jeongguk blushed, looking over at Taehyung not knowing if the words were meant for him or not. Taehyung set the book down back into it's original spot on the shelf.

"Poetry book. It's nice." Taehyung waved off. He was lying. The book he had held was on politics. But the words were his. His to Jeongguk. But he couldn't let the boy know that.

Jeongguk meekly nodded in return. They continued walking through the small bookstore, Jeongguk talking about his love for books. And Taehyung looking at him with love.

"Why do you like books so much?" Taehyung asked as they sat down at a table in the book store.

Jeongguk smiled, "An artist can paint you a scenery and make you envision it. But a writer can create the world for a painting through their words. An artist, a writer, a lot of people think that they're completely different. But they're the same. Because they both make art just in different ways." He explained, his eyes full of star clusters as he began to get excited about it.

He never did get the chance to just talk abour his love for books. Or his love for anything. Having Taehyung sit with him and listen to him, actually listen to him, he loved it.

He felt Taehyung's soft eyes on him as he continued to talk. Growing rather shy and beginning to shy off from talking. Looking up at Taehyung who had this sweet smile painted on his lips, his chocolate eyes that looked so warm and sparkly. Jeongguk went back to talking, not knowing he was the cause of Taehyung's smile.

Taehyung loved seeing the shy boy talk on and on, it was a change from the meek quiet boy facade. He truly loved both Jeongguk's. But he loved the version of the boy who loved himself. That was his favorite Jeongguk.

He loved how Jeongguk could talk about his love for something and never stop. Or how he smiled with pure joy. Or how his eyes lit up with star clusters. Or maybe how his smile always reached his eyes before his lips.

"What're you smiling about?" Jeongguk asked with a light giggle, tilting his head to the side a little. Wondering what Taehyung looked so love stricken about.

Taehyung smiled warmly at him,
"I'm thinking about all the good things in the world." He responded.

"And what're all the good things in the world?" Jeongguk asked leaning in more across the table.

Taehyung leaned into him, his lips ghosting over the boys ear,
"Maybe you'll find out one day." He whispered and pulled back, a sense of pride filling up his chest once he saw the pink flush on Jeongguks face.

He chuckled, "Ready for the next part of our day?" Jeongguk nodded excitedly.

-

They walked through the park with their hot chocolate in one of their hands, the other hand interlaced with the warmth of each other.

Jeongguk smiled at all the little kids running around at the playground. Taehyung taking notice, "How many kids do you want?" He asked.

Jeongguk replied, "Maybe one or two. I don't care for gender." He turned to Taehyung, "What about you?"

"One or two is fine with me. Just as long as I have little ones running around."

Jeongguk was about to respond when he felt a tug on his jacket. Looking down and seeing a little boy looking back up at him.

The little boy looked at him then Taehyung, his eyes going to their interlaced hands, "Are you two boyfriend and boyfriend?" He asked still holding onto Jeongguks jacket.

Jeongguk stammered over his words not knowing what to respond with. Taehyung bent down getting on eye level with the little boy, "Mhm, this is my soon to be boyfriend."

Jeongguk felt his heart rate go up and the familiar heat touch his face as Taehyung said his words.

The little boy looked at him in confusion, "So you're not kissing yet?" He asked tilting his head in confusion.

Taehyung smirked at Jeongguk from the corner of his eye, "No, not yet. But soon." He replied smiling at the tiny boy sweetly.

The boy turned to Jeongguk,
"What about you mister? Is handsome guy going to be your boyfriend soon too?" He asked with his big eyes.

Jeongguk looked at Taehyung who gave him a knowing look, even though Taehyung wasn't showing it Jeongguk knew he was smirking on the inside.

Jeongguk turned back to the little boy,
"W-well, it depends if h-handsome man asks me o-out first. But he h-hasn't so no, we're not k-kissing yet." He stuttered out feeling uneasy.

"Why haven't you asked him out on a date yet?!" The boy asked turning back to Taehyung, "If you don't kiss him I will!" He exclaimed hugging Jeongguk's leg.

Jeongguk bent down and hugged him back. The little boy snuggling into Jeongguks embrace.

"It takes time, kid. Believe me, it took me five years just to walk through this park with him today." Taehyung said justifying himself. Jeongguk blushed at his words, smiling to himself.
"And where's your Mom? You shouldn't be alone in a park all by yourself." Taehyung asked.

The little boy clung onto Jeongguk even more, "I came with my uncle. But he brought some boy with him and isn't paying attention to me. So I ran away!" He said happily giggling, hugging Jeongguk even more.

Jeongguk gave a sarcastic gasp,
"You ran away? Well we have to find your uncle because I can't take you home with me and handsome man." Jeongguk pouted, brushing the hair out of the small boys eyes.

Taehyung laughed, "Yeah, let's go find your uncle, kid." Getting up from kneeling on the ground.

"Haebom! There you are! Do you know how worried I was?! You're in big trouble when I tell your Mother about this." A voice called out rushing over to the child.

Jeongguk and Taehyung looked at the man recognizing the familiar voice,
"Jin?" Jeongguk asked standing up next to Taehyung.

Jin looked up at them, "Oh thank God, Haebom found you two and not some child predator." He said in relief, breathing hard from running around the park searching for Haebom.

Another man ran up to him,
"You found him? Oh thank god." Another familiar voice said.

"Namjoon? What're you doing here with Jin?" Taehyung asked skeptically eyeing them both.

Namjoon eyed him and Jeongguk,
"Taehyung? What're you doing here with Jeongguk?" He mocked back at them, getting a eye roll from Taehyung.

Jeongguk intervened, "Oh, we're just hanging out for the day." He said quietly as Taehyung held his hand once again, not liking the feeling of emptiness.

"Uncle Jin! The bunny mister is my new boyfriend! Isn't he cute! Look at him!" Haebom yelled getting excited running back over to Jeongguk and hugging his leg again.

Jin scoffed, "You're too young to have a boyfriend." He said placing his hands on his hips,"And plus Jeongguk is out of your league."

Haebom shook his head, holding onto Jeongguk tightly, "But handsome man said he was going to kiss bunny soon, s-so I have to kiss him first." He explained as Jeongguk giggled placing his hot chocolate on the ground.

Jeongguk kissed him on the cheek lightly, ruffling his hair. Haebom giggled in delight and kissed him on the cheek back then hugged him.

All while Taehyung was watching in a glare. Taehyung pulled Jeongguk away, "Woah woah, little man, get your own boyfriend before you want to steal mine, ok."

Jeongguk laughed, "It's ok, Haebom. I'm sure you can find another person." He said patting his head. Haebom glared at Taehyung eyeing him down with a pout.

He walked back over to Jin and Namjoon, grabbing both of their hands, "Come on you guys, let's go. Handsome man is jealous because I kissed bunny first." He said glaring at Taehyung one more time before dragging Jin and Namjoon along.

Jin looked back at them waving goodbye, "Bye you guys! Thanks for keeping this brat company, I'll see you on Monday!" He yelled as they made their way through the park.

Jeongguk picked up his hot chocolate, throwing it in the trashbin and Taehyung doing the same. They laced their hands together again as they continued walking through the park.

Taehyung leaned into him,
"Don't say anything but I think that kid really likes you." He joked as Jeongguk giggled at him.

"He's a cute kid. He just wanted some kisses." Jeongguk replied happily. Taehyung smiled at him.

"Sorry about saying that you were my soon to be boyfriend and all that. It must have made you uncomfortable." Taehyung apologized, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

Jeongguk felt himself go hot, softly shaking his head, "No, it was fine. I mean, I didn't really mind it." He said, voice going quiet at the end. He felt Taehyung's gaze on him making him hotter and nervous.

"Oh. Oh, um. Ok then." Taehyung replied. Silence filling them the awkward space between them.

A ring ripped through the silent air. Taehyung reaching into his pocket to answer his phone. Swiping the screen,
"Hello? Oh, I'm still out." He said.

Jeongguk couldn't hear what the person on the other end but stood there waiting for the call to be over.

"You want me to do what? No. Absolutely not." Taehyung said glancing over at Jeongguk, he sighed into the phone, "Alright, jeez. Let me ask him first." Taehyung said turning to Jeongguk.

"My aunt wants you to come over for dinner. You don't have to of course, but she's kind of really wanting you to." Taehyung said with a grimace on his face not really wanting the quiet boy to meet his chaotic family.

Jeongguk looked back at him with his big doe eyes, "Oh. Um, sure. I'm n-not really doing anything later." He said taking the inventation. Taehyung looked at him with worry.

"Are you sure?"

Jeongguk nodded his head, "I mean, well, it's just your family, right? I don't think it can be that bad." He said quietly.

Taehyung turned back to his phone,
"Sadly, he has accepted."

-

Jungkook let out a nervous sigh as Taehyung pulled into the driveway of the large house. Taehyung patted his thigh, "You'll be fine. They'll see you as a new puppy. Cute and fun to hang out with." He said opening the car door then rushing over to Jeongguk's door.

"Maybe I s-should have brought something." Jeongguk said as they were walking up to the front door. Taehyung waved it off.

"It's not like we're dating, it's fine, you don't need a present. Your presence is far more than enough." Taehyung said reassuring him as he unlocked the door to the house. Letting Jeongguk walk in first.

Jeongguk nodded and walked in first. Seeing the living room and staircase in front of him. Taehyung took off his shoes and looked up the staircase,
"Taesung! I brought my friend over, come say hi he's staying for dinner!"

Jeongguk slipped off his shoes as well. Standing stiffly next to Taehyung. They heard tiny footsteps rush down the hall and onto the staircase. A little boy coming into view.

The boy was wearing pajamas with dinosaurs on them, looking at Jeongguk then at Taehyung. He couldn't be more than five years of age.

"Oh. Is this the pwetty boy you talk about all the time?" He asked looking up at Jeongguk in awe, "He's really beautiful. Big brother did a g-good job!" Taesung said embarrassing Taehyung.

Taehyung looked over at Jeongguk with a pained look. Jeongguk once again red with embarrassment, wondering if what Taesung said was true. Jeongguk leaned down to Taesung.

"I'm Jeongguk, but you can call me Gguk or Ggukie." He said sweetly patting Taesungs hair. Taesung smiled back at him, his tiny hands touching Jeongguk's fluffy black locks as well.

"Wow, big brother picked a really n-nice boy! You're really pwetty, Ggukie! My Mommy says she's r-really excited to meet you!" Taesung said excitedly, grabbing hole of Jeongguks hand. Dragging him through the living room and kitchen to the backyard. Taehyung following them in dread.

Taesung held onto Jeongguks hand tightly, "Mommy! Look! Pwetty boy is here!" He yelled at the women who was next to the bond fire. She turned around and squealed in delight. Rushing over and giving Jeongguk a bone crushing hug.

"Oh my, you're even more beautiful than what Taehyung has described!" She said as her hands took hold of Jeongguks face. He looked over at Taehyung who had his face in his hands.

"O-oh. Thank y-you, Mrs. Kim." Jeongguk said bowing a little.
"Thank you for inviting me over to dinner, I truly appreciate it." He thanked.

"Oh, you're welcome! Call me Jia, no need to be so formal. I wish my husband was here but he's out of town for the month for work." Jia said walking back over to the bond fire,
"Come sit! Let's get to talking."

Jeongguk nodded sitting down on the couch, Taehyung sitting next to him. With Taesung and Jia across from them. Jeongguk sat there quietly with his hands nicely folded in his lap. Feeling nervous and hot, the fire not making it any better.

Taehyung spoke up first, "Just don't make him uncomfortable, Aunty." He said. Jia rolled her eyes, "Oh stop over reacting, child."

"I think Ggukie is really b-beautiful!" Taesung said for the nth time.

Jeongguk smiled, "Thank you, Taesung." Taesung smiled back at him with his big eyes.

"So, I heard you live alone Jeongguk. How's it feel to be away from home? It must be nice, huh?" Jia teased lightly. Taehyung looked over at Jeongguk who wore a strained face.

Taehyung gently grabbed Jeongguk's hand, holding it with care, grazing his thumb across the smooth silk of skin that was Jeongguk. The boy spared him a grateful smile.

"It's um- I mean, well, it does get a little l-lonely at times." Jeongguk admitted, "But it's ok, I guess. Better than being stuck at home back in Busan." He played it off with a laugh and a smile.

But it didn't reach his star cluster eyes. Taehyung gave his hand a gentle squeeze. Jeongguk held onto his hand tighter feeling more hot and nervous. His jacket beginning to suffocate him more than protect him.

Jia buying everything laughed back,
"Oh, I get it. Family even they might drive you crazy, still gotta love them at the end of the day." She said warmly, "The food should be ready, Taesung come with Mommy to wash your hands." She said holding her hand out to the boy who took it.

"I'll come get you two once it's ready." She said before walking inside and sliding the glass door closed.

Jeongguk turned to Taehyung,
"I'm s-sorry for being so stiff. I'm just n-nervous." He apologized immediately feeling bad for being so introverted. "I should have just gone home." He mumbled to himself regretting his desicion.

Taehyung gently cupped his face, bringing his eyes up to his,
"Jeongguk, you don't need to apologize. You're doing fine." He said voice above a whisper, "It's ok to be nervous. Just hold my hand and you'll be ok every time."

Jeongguk looked away, "But I w-want to be nice in front of Jia. I don't want to give off the wrong impression." He let out quietly feeling bad.

Taehyung lifted his face back up, looking into his big brown starry eyes,
"You won't Jeongguk. You're perfectly fine. My aunt understands you're just nervous. Every time you're feeling scared or nervous, just hold my hand." Taehyung said softly holding Jeongguk's face ever so carefully.

Jeongguk nodded his head. Feeling better after hearing Taehyung's comforting words. He felt Taehyung's fingers tracing his silk smooth skin.
Going from his big starry warm eyes to the apple of his pink cheeks to his soft painted pink lips. With every touch of warmth Jeongguk melted into his hands.

Taehyung was appalled at Jeon Jeongguk's beauty. Truly astonished that someone walked this planet holding such divine and exquisite beauty with such a soft heart. He couldn't help but get lost in the boys eyes. God, his eyes were extravagant. Beautiful with the shades of golden brown that glistened beneath the moonlight of the starry night sky.

His puffy apple cheeks that were always painted with pink, that were so soft and smooth Taehyung just wanted to kiss them, to hold them. His painted pink lips. Taehyung traced his thumb under the curve of his bottom lip.

Those soft pink lips that he could kiss for all eternity. Oh how badly he wished he could lean down and hold his silk pink lips against his. To kiss Jeongguk with love and affection, to call him his. To just reach out and hold him within his arms.

Because Jeon Jeongguk was truly art. A blank canvas he so badly wanted to fill with his own colors and finish it off with his signature. To kiss his soft white snow skin and leave it filled with purple. To make his soft apple cheeks go red with shyness. To leave his pink lips red with kisses of love.

To hold his soft tiny shaped hands and look into his big star cluster eyes full of hope and innocence and confidently say with all of his heart-

"I love you."

Taehyung leaned in closer to Jeongguk, "You're so beautiful Jeongguk, I hope you know that." He whispered gently, looking into his big perfect eyes.

The boy looked down at his hands, face going red, "T-Thank you." He whispered out, not having enough in him to go louder then that.

Seeing another pair of hands embrace his small ones and holding them gently with care and graced. Almost as if they were to hold on too tightly he would break. He looked up to see Taehyung fixated on his hands.

"Your hands are tiny, almost like Taesung's." Taehyung chuckled out, grazing his thumb over the nice smooth skin.

"I'm a tiny person, what do you expect from me?" Jeongguk said back, holding onto his hands tightly. Liking how his tiny ones fit perfectly into Taehyung's hand.

The door slid open, "Come on you two, dinners ready! I hope you like pasta because it's the only easy dish I can cook." Jia said waving them over to come eat.

Taehyung stood up not letting to of Jeongguks hand, and walking back into the warm house. Jia looked down at their interlocked hands then to Jeongguk who put his head down in embarresment. She smiled with contentment.

Jeongguk sat down next to Taehyung, with Taesung and Jia across from them. A nice spread of food in front of them.

"Aunty, don't you think this is a bit too much food?" Taehyung asked as twisted the pasta into his fork.

"I just wanted to make sure our guest was well fed. Jeongguk please, eat as much as you wish!" She said sending Jeongguk a smile as she put more pasta onto his plate.

Jeongguk laughed a little, "I can only eat so much. I never really have big appetites." He said as set his plate back down and twisted the pasta into his fork.

"My Mommy makes the best pasta!" Taesung exclaimed as he ate his dish rather fast making a mess on the table and on his face. Jia wiped away the sauce on his face with a napkin making him whine, pushing her hand away.

"Sorry if it's not the food that you like, I was on short notice so I just stirred up what I could make." Jia apologized as she took a bite of the pasta.

Jeongguk shook his head, "Oh no, it's ok! You didn't have to cook all this for me, I'll greatly appreciate this meal. Thank you, for inviting me over tonight." He thanked.

The four of them ate dinner happily making jokes here and there. The room lively and full of happiness. Jeongguk felt thankful. Yet something envied it. These dinners were the ones he never got as a child and even now.

No jokes at the table, no talking, no laughing. Only being able to eat in silence. He was glad that he was able to be apart of a dinner like this.

And even more glad when he felt a hand take hold of his half way through. Eating the rest of his dinner with a smile on his face.

-

"Taehyung, go give Taesung a bath and put him to bed. Me and Jeongguk can cleanup." Jia said as she took the plates from the table and into the sink.

Taehyung picked Taesung up,
"Come on, time to go take a bath." He said carrying him as he took him upstairs to bathe.

Jeongguk stood at the sink helping Jia wash the dishes. She was an inch or two short than Jeongguk. Both their frames short and tiny. He was rinsing a plate as Jia spoke out.

"He really likes you. I can tell."

Jeongguk almost dropped the plate in his hands, "W-what? Taehyung?" He asked stuttering at the sudden topic of interest. Jia chuckled lightly at his reaction.

She handed Jeongguk another plate,
"He looks at you with so much love. As if you're the person that only exists to him." She said as she scrubbed a plate, "I would know because that's how I used to look at Jungseok, I still do even today."

Jeongguk didn't respond not knowing how to really reply.

"You like him too. A lot." Jia continued, "You know, people can say what they want about two people of the same sex dating. But I don't care, you two look happy when you're together. That's all that should matter right?"

Jeongguk looked at her a little, nodding his head, "Taehyung's really sweet." He said quietly as he rinsed a plate, "I feel like when I'm with him, I don't know, I just feel like nothing else matters."

Jia smiled warmly at him, "Have you told him?" She asked hinting at the topic. Jeongguk shook his head, taking a dish from her hand.

"No. I don't know if I should." He replied rinsing the plate. Feeling the hot steaming water rush down on his white skin, making it red.

"And why not?"

He sighed, "I just feel like, he deserves someone better than me." He let out putting the dish into the dish rack,
"He deserves someone perfect. Not some broken person who can't sort out their own problems in life."

Jia handed him another plate,
"No one's perfect in this world, Jeongguk. Even Taehyung. If everything were to be perfect we wouldn't be living life to the fullest." She stated scrubbing a pot, "Life isn't about being perfect. It's about being real."

She turned to Jeongguk, "I see the way you both look at each other. You can't give up on that, Jeongguk." She said her eyes warm of motherly love,
"Even though Taehyung isn't my own child, I act as if he is. He talks about you a lot. I can tell he really likes you. I'm not pressuring you into loving him. But I'm saying, when you're ready to start loving yourself Jeongguk, love those around you as well."

Jeongguk felt tears welling up in his eyes, the back of his throat beginning to grow tight as he swallowed down the tears. "Thank you, Jia. I d-don't really talk to my Mom. It means a lot for you to t-talk to me like this." He said blinking the tears away.

Jia hugged Jeongguk tightly saying a you're welcome and a I care for you before pulling away, "Sorry, I got soap on your jacket." She said wiping it away. Jeongguk sniffled wiping the soap away as they finished washing the rest of the dishes.

"Aunty, I just put Taesung to bed. He's sleeping already." Taehyung said as he walked down the stairs seeing Jeongguk and his aunt finishing the tidying up the kitchen.

Jia dried her hands on a cloth,
"Thanks, dear." She said walking towards him and giving him a hug,
"Oh, also me and Jeongguk had a very nice conversation." She winked at Jeongguk making him grow nervous.

Taehyung raised his eyebrow,
"What was about it?" He asked looking over at Jeongguk.

"Nothing important. Just school stuff." Jeongguk lied standing there with his hands in his pockets.

Taehyung squinted his eyes in suspension, choosing to ignore it,
"It's getting late, I should drive you back home now. Do you wanna leave now?" Taehyung asked looking at the time on his phone then back up at Jeongguk.

"Sure that sounds-"

"Just stay!" Jia intervened interrupting them, "It's already getting late, you can just stay the night. I'm sure Taehyung has some clothes for you to wear, right?" She asked poking Taehyung in the ribcage.

"You don't have to stay, Jeongguk." Taehyung said even though a part of him was hoping he'd say yes and stay the the night with him.

Jeongguk stood in silence for a couple seconds, thinking about the pros and cons. Pros: stay the night with Taehyung, sleep with Taehyung, talk all night with Taehyung, hold Taehyung. Cons: embarrass yourself.

The list was weighed out pretty well.

Jeongguk scratched the back of his neck awkwardly before dropping his hands to his side's, "I g-guess I'll stay." He accepted.

Jia clapped her hands in excitement,
"Perfect! I have to go wash up and go to bed for Taesung soccer game tomorrow, but make yourself at home! Have a goodnight you two." She said with a smile then walked up the staircase.

She looked back at Jeongguk and mouthed a "you're welcome" making him blush in embarresment at what she was hinting at.

"Um, I guess just follow me then." Taehyung said breaking the silence, and leading the way to his room. Jeongguk following him like a lost puppy.

They walked down the hallway to the very last door on the right, far away from Jia and Taesung's rooms. Taehyung opened his bedroom door, letting Jeongguk walk in first.

The room was painted white, with a full sized bed in up against the wall to the right. A couple bookshelves and a desk that had papers on it. It was a little messy but not too messy where things were unorganized.

Taehyung walked in after him,
"So this is my room. Nothing special really." He said as he walked over to the dresser, digging through it to find a pair of his old sweatpants that he had grown out of to fit the younger.

The room smelled like leather and mint, just like Taehyung. The room was warm and welcoming, unlike Jeongguk's. Everything in this house seemed to mirror and reflect all the opposites of his life.

Taehyung handed him the clothes,
"You can shower first, toothbrushes are in the cabinet, towels should be hung up." He said pointing to the bathroom his room was conected to. Jeongguk nodded, walking over to the bathroom shutting the door and locking it.

Taehyung sighed as he sat on his bed. Was he nervous? Of course he was. He sat up in frustration, tugging at his sandy locks. Suddenly getting and idea, grabbing a couple pillows and blankets as well of a pair of sweatpants and a shirt.

-

Jeongguk walked out of the bathroom, running his hands through his damp hair. Taehyung's shirt was way too big for him, bearly staying on his small frame, collarbones on show. The sweatpants a little baggy and sliding off his hips every time he moved.

Getting confused when he didn't see Taehyung, he set the towel down on the bed walking out to the hallway seeing Taehyung get out of the bathroom.

"I took a shower in this bathroom so I wouldn't have to wait for you to get out." He said running his hands through his hair trying to get rid of the knots. He stuck out his hand making Jeongguk confused.

"I want to show you something, is that ok?" He asked grinning at the small boy who took his hand. He lead Jeongguk down the stairs trying not to make so much noise.

Leading out to the backyard and onto the grass where he had set up blankets and pillows. Jeongguk looked at him with his big eyes, "Oh, what's all of this about?" He asked as he sat down next to Taehyung on the blankets.

Taehyung wrapped a fuzzy blanket around him to rid him of the cold January air, "I thought we could sleep under the stars tonight." He replied laying down and getting comfortable.

Jeongguk let himself smile a little, laying down next to him and looking up at the stars. He felt himself completely relax, all the tension leaving his stiff body as soon as his starry eyes met the night sky.

He turned his head to look over at Taehyung. He felt his breath hitch at the sight of him. A deep blush taking over his face as he was met with the ethereal beauty that was Kim Taehyung.

The way his honey tan skin reflected the light white rays of the moonlight, his strong facial structure pointing out how much he had matured over the years, his sharp jawline that stuck out without even having to be noticed.

The curves of his pink lips and sharp wonderful chocolate eyes. Jeongguk stared in awe. That such a man was on earth with such beauty and a kind heart.

He wanted so badly to be held by Taehyung's strong arms and be cuddled to sleep at night. To be kissed so much that his lips would be stained red forever. To just be loved and to love someone back.

His eyes went over every mark and curve on Taehyung's god like face. Wanting to kiss his cheeks and lips with love. To spend forever looking into his warm chocolate eyed that glistened golden hues. He wanted to kiss Taehyung whenever he wished to do so.

Kim Taehyung was perfect in every way that Jeongguk could ever imagine. He closed his eyes and opened them to still seeing Taehyung there. So it wasn't a dream. He wasn't dreaming, this was real. They were real.

He loved the way Taehyung could always make him smile without even trying, or how he always looked at him with so much care, or how he held his hand ever so softly and gently not wanting to hurt him.

Jeongguk for some reason felt tears welling up in his eyes the longer he looked at the masterpiece he knew as Kim Taehyung. Feeling the tears spill out onto his glass like skin and falling onto the soft warm clouds below him.

He sat up wiping them away not wanting to cry in front of Taehyung. With every sniffle and heartbreaking sob his shoulders shook and his chest broke. He was under the stars with Taehyung so why was he crying so much? Why was he hurting do bad?

He wanted to hold his big smooth shaped hands and look into his warm chocolate eyes that had hints of gold specks full of love and affection and confidently say with all of his heart-

"I love you."

He felt Taehyung sit up and wrap his arms around him, pulling him close and rest his chin on top of his damp hair, "What's wrong?" He asked softly as his big hand went up and down Jeongguk's small framed back, rocking them back and forth to sooth the crying boy.

Taehyung felt his heart clench with every heartbreaking sob from Jeongguk, feeling the way his shoulders shook as he cried his eyes out. He pulled him closer tightly wrapping his arms around him in a hug. Jeongguk's wet tears hitting his neck and running down his chest.

"I'm s-sorry. I don't w-wanna cry but I am." The boy said, voice cracking and breaking with each letter. The hot warm tears running down his flushed face contrasting with the braile cold air around him.

Taehyung held him close, "It's ok, it's not your fault you're crying. You don't have to apologize." He said as Jeongguk pulled away to wipe his tears. He felt his heart crack at the sight of him crying. His big star cluster eyes dull.

He wiped away the remaining tears, Jeongguk melting into his embrace as he wrapping his arm around his waist. The both of them laying down onto the blanket.

"What's hurting you, sweetheart?" Taehyung asked the old but missed name feeling foreign to him as Jeongguk looked up at him.

"I don't wish to say it out loud for you to hear." Jeongguk replied, "You called me sweetheart. I missed it."

Taehyung frowned a bit, "You don't have to tell me everything, Jeongguk. But you hurting and seeing you in pain hurts me as well." He confessed running his hands through the boys hair, "You don't have to tell me but please just please let me know when you're hurting so I can kiss it away."

Jeongguk blushed nodding his head,
"I don't t-tell you because I'm scared. But I promise one d-day I will. I promise." He whispered into Taehyung's chest feeling small with the olders arms around him.

Taehyung sighed and nodded his head in agreement, "So you missed me calling you sweetheart?" He teased trying to lighten the mood between them.

Jeongguk smiled nodding his head,
"I don't really know why I miss you calling me pet names so much." He admitted, "I guess it's just because no ones ever called me things like that before."

Taehyung scooted away from him a bit wanting to see his face, "I guess I'm your first to everything." He whispered cupping Jeongguk's delicate cheek, staring into his innocent doe eyes.

Jeongguk blushed nodding his head in agreement, "I guess that's correct so far." He mumbled, his fingers playing with the hem of the blanket. The feeling of the warmth from Taehyung's hand, melting into the touch.

Taehyung removed his hand, lying on his back to see the sky, "I used to lay out here all night trying to count all the stars. Trying to see how many there was out there in space." He said smiling back at the old memories.

Jeongguk giggled at his cuteness, scooting closer to him, "How far did you get?" He asked resting his head on Taehyung's shoulder.

"Maybe six hundred close to a thousand stars, I lost count every time though." Taehyung responded warmly with a laugh. He turned to Jeongguk looking into his starry starry eyes.

He smiled warmly, "If your eyes are the galaxy I'm afraid I would get lost in them trying to count all the stars." He said sweetly, looking at Jeongguk with love and affection. Feeling his heart swell in his chest.

Jeongguk began to smile, feeling his face heat up and his stomach swirl with butterflies, "Poetry book? It's nice." He teased mocking Taehyung from earlier.

Taehyung laughed, "No, not this time. It's my words to you. Only for you, star." He said leaning into Jeongguk more.

The smaller star leaned into him, feeling his heartbeat fasten with each and every second ticking by. Feeling unsure of what was going to happen next.

"Can I kiss you?" Taehyung asked suddenly. Jeongguk's eyes widened in surprise, feeling his breath hitch and his heart skip a beat. He nodded his head slowly feeling happy but nervous.

He closed his eyes as Taehyung leaned in closer to him. He began to feel hot even though it was cold outside, anticipating the feeling of Taehyung's lips on his. He missed it.

He opened his eyes in surprise feeling a pair of lips peck his cheek instead of his lips. Looking back at Taehyung in confusion and embarresment.

Taehyung smirked at him, "I asked to kiss you. I never said where though. Why? Were you expecting some place else?" He teased Jeongguk knowing exactly what he was doing. Raising his eyebrow in suspension.

Jeongguk opened his mouth to defend himself but nothing came of it. Instead turning to lay on his back to look at the night sky, huffing in embarresment.

Taehyung wrapped his arms around him, "Aw, I'm sorry if you're upset, doll. Forgive me? Please?" He pouted giving a kiss to Jeongguk's neck.

Jeongguk blushed sitting up,
"You're so unfair." He pouted, crossing his arms across his chest, pulling his legs up to his chest, looking up at the stars. Taehyung sat up next to him looking up at the sky then to him.

"No matter how many stars I counted, how many seconds passed, no matter how hard I tried to count them all, you're the only star I truly want." Taehyung said looking up at the stars and the moon. Jeongguk felt himself smile at his words, resting his head on Taehyung's shoulder.

Taehyung was scared. Scared of himself. That if he held onto Jeongguk too tight he might break. That if he loved him too much it might suffocate him. He was afraid of himself.

The fear of him dying didn't scare him as much as Jeongguk dying. He tries to act strong for Jeongguk, he tried really hard to be strong for him, to make him smile and be happy. He was scared that if he couldn't do so anymore Jeongguk would die.

He wanted to love him so badly he didn't care if he was the one dying and bleeding out. He wanted to see Jeongguk happy even if he wasn't. He wanted to see him breath the air of tomorrow even if he was stuck in yesterday. He just wanted Jeongguk to live. Not for him but for himself.

He was so scared.

"If you could be the sun or moon which one would you be?" Jeongguk asked Taehyung with a giggle following his smile. Taehyung smiled back at him.

"I would be the star."

"Why not the sun or moon?"

"If I were the sun or moon I wouldn't be the same as you. You and I are the same, and I don't think I want to change. I don't wish to be something or someone bigger than you. I just wish to be a star just like you. So that we can be the same and live in each others light."

Jeongguk listened to Taehyung speak, his eyes entranced by his beauty and his ears tied to his sultry honey soaked words that drew him in. He smiled to himself feeling himself breath in the cold brisk air.

"Ok. Let's be the stars then."

"I'll be the big star and you can be the little star."

"Can I kiss you?"

"I don't think you have to ask anymore, sweetheart."

"I won't."

That was the first night Jeongguk didn't sleep alone.

That was the first night Taehyung didn't have to feel strong.

This was their first night under the blanket of stars, the moon being their savior.

They kissed each other.

And they didn't regret it.

The big star and tiny star lied beneath the mirror and reflection of their opposites.

They were scared of themselves.

Scared to say I love you.

Scared to love one another.

Scared to love themselves.

-

I cried while writing the last bit of the chapter. It just hit me really hard. I'm not sure why but it did. This is one of the longest chapters or thing I've ever written. Being a little over 9,000 words. I hope it was worth the wait.

This chapter was dedicated to bbyyeonjun and her art named,
"Space"

I like to use the metaphors of space for a lot of things. Space is truly beautiful. So much darkness yet somehow light manages to find it's way through. The living point to where there is light there are shadows.

Space has so much beauty it entices us and draws us in. Yet it's so dangerous and risky. From the very beginning of this book I have made and based Taehyung's and Jeongguk's love for one another off space.

And to clarify, I mean space like the galaxy not bbyyeonjun book space 😂

Falling in love with someone, you can't help but be blinded by their beauty, their voice, their everything. You fall so deep you don't take note of the dangers and risks. As Taehyung and Jeongguk fall deeper into space they take note of the dangers and risks.

That in them develops fear. I wanted to make both of them weak and have their flaws. In most books I've read, Jeongguk is always if not most of the time the only one who struggles and goes through hardships. I wanted to make Taehyung have his own self desires that lead him to doubt himself as the right lover for Jeongguk.

For the both of them to know what the dangers were of falling in love were and to take note of it to become stronger and bear it together.

I was orginally going to make the end a cute and nice kissing scene, but got lost in dialogue. I didn't put in who was saying what because it should be rather obvious, correct? I felt no need to add in anything more than dialogue so you as the reader could just focous on the moment and envision it yourself without my help.

I hope this little note cleared up a couple things and explained this chapter more in depth than what you have read.

Once again this chapter is dedicated to bbyyeonjun if you see this and somehow read this crappy book, I don't love your writing. I love you for writing and choosing to share your talent. Thank you.

I apologize for any spelling errors, I try my best to check and see if there are any. If you stumbled across some please let me know.

Stay safe and healthy, stars~