Ever since the kiss, he has just been staying around a lot. We go to school together and there were already rumors that Christian and I were together because we didn't go to school. Before class started he announced to everyone that ' We are taking it slow' just from those words I was embarrassed. From then everything has just been the same like every day.

I go downstairs to check on Christian and he wasn't in the house but his stuff was still here. I go towards the door and there he was opening the door coming back in. I gave him a hug and he came back kind of hug. I wasn't lost without him or anything I don't know why I acted like that.

"What's wrong, did something happen?" Christian asked and looked at me worried or confused.

"I don't know... Wait' I said then took a swift of his shirt, "Were you smoking Christian?" I shouted.

"No.." He replied.

"Christian, you smoke, you know that's bad for you, Why?" I said wondering why.

"I said I don't smoke." He started to shout.

"Then Why The Hell Do You Smell Like Smoke," I yelled as I swung my hand up towards his shoulder.

"Because I Do, Why The Hell Are You Giving An Issue About This!" He Yelled back. Back and forth of yelling about the fact that he smelt like smoke.

" If you're not going to give me an answer, fine," I say in a calm voice. I make sure I have my phone on me and I open the door.

"Can't we talk about this?" He said after I took one step out of the door.

" We just did." I close the door behind me as I said those words, I wonder to myself why does he smell like smoke. He comes opening the door behind me yelling "Don't forget to take your medication..."

I did not know exactly where I was going with him, but I started walking around the mall store, as I walked out of the store I thought "Park" I hate the park but children should love the park. I was walking to the park and I noticed that people were looking at me weirdly. When I got to Central Park, the closest park, I saw some people from school. Not My friends I can admit that I hated them but the thought I was their friend so what could I really do. I ignored them and sat on the swing looking at the view, a few of the people came over to me and asked me if I wanted a beer, I denied the offer and they went back to their 'group' and they were talking about me claiming how I was hoe and a slut and how Christian and I were together was him and that's why I didn't go to school.

I just can't believe people, claiming that I was a slut seriously they have no idea who I was I am a virgin I can admit that to anyone and I'm sort of happy about it too. So, I get up from the swing and went back home. When I got back home I went to the kitchen to get some tea then up to my room. After that I was hungry and there was nothing good in the fridge so I just ordered pizza, that how lazy I was. I went looking for Christian wasn't at the house and I looked out the window in my room across the street I saw him with a guy, they were facing each other who holding his hand.

My life felt crushed after a few minutes they kissed and departed and Christian came back to my house. I quickly ran downstairs and locked the door before he got to my driveway. My heart racing, taking deep breaths and sitting in front of the door. I didn't know exactly what to do, he said we're taking it slow, which for me meant that we were together, right? I just took a slice of pizza and went to bed, I think he got a clue to go away because after ringing the doorbell and slamming on the door he went away.

Every time I felt like I get close to someone they always push me back 100 miles, everyone would push me away. It's not like I need friends, I don't mind being by myself it's just the feeling like I'm being shamed for something I didn't so Is hurtful not just to me as a person but it hurts my soul.