Chapter 32: (Aaira's pov)

I knew that it was almost time for Jungkook to wake up. The house was still quiet, save for the occasional creak of the floorboards and my anklets, as I moved through the kitchen. I had decided to make breakfast for him, hoping that perhaps this small gesture might bridge the gap that had grown between us.

I chose to make dolsot bibimbap, a Korean rice dish. It was a dish I thought Jungkook might appreciate, something hearty and satisfying that might help ease the tension between us. I began by preparing the ingredients.

I started with the rice, which would form the base of the dish. I rinsed a cup of short-grain rice several times under cold water until the water ran clear. Then, I cooked it in a pot, letting it steam to perfection.

While the rice was cooking, I turned my attention to the vegetables. I prepared a variety of colorful ingredients to top the rice: julienned carrots, sliced zucchini, and sautéed spinach. I also prepared some mushrooms, which I sliced thinly and cooked until they were tender and lightly browned.

Next, I worked on the protein. I decided to add some chicken, thinly sliced and marinated in a mixture of soy sauce, sesame oil, garlic, and a touch of sugar. I quickly stir-fried the meat in a hot pan until it was cooked through and slightly caramelized.

The final component was the gochujang, a Korean red chili paste that would add a spicy kick to the dish. I mixed a small amount of gochujang with a bit of honey to balance the heat and create a sauce that could be drizzled over the bibimbap.

I heated the dolsot, a traditional Korean stone pot, on the stove until it was piping hot. I added a generous amount of sesame oil to the bottom of the pot, letting it heat until it was shimmering. Then, I carefully spooned in the cooked rice, pressing it down to create a crispy layer on the bottom.

I arranged the vegetables and chicken on top of the rice in a beautiful, colorful pattern. The carrots, zucchini, mushrooms, and spinach created a visually appealing contrast against the white rice. I made a small well in the center and cracked an egg into it, which would cook as the dish was served hot.

Finally, I drizzled the gochujang sauce over the top and garnished the bibimbap with a sprinkle of sesame seeds and a few sliced green onions. The dish looked and smelled incredible, and I hoped that Jungkook would appreciate the effort I had put into it.

With the dolsot bibimbap ready, I carefully transferred it to a serving tray and made my way towards our room. I knocked gently on the door before entering, hoping that the food might soften his mood.

Jungkook was still in bed, his face turned away from me as I approached. I set the dolsot bibimbap down on a nearby table and waited.

Aaira: I've made breakfast for you. I hope you'll try it.

Jungkook's movements were abrupt and harsh. Without a second thought, he sat down on the bed, he was frustrated. He grabbed the dolsot bibimbap with a sudden, violent motion and hurled the pot aside, sending some of its contents splattering onto me.

The unexpected force of it startled me. I flinched as bits of rice and vegetables hit my dress, skin and the floor around me. The sizzling sound of the hot dish hitting the floor was almost deafening, and I stood there in shock, my eyes wide as the food cooled and began to congeal. Jungkook's voice rose in a shout.

Jungkook: Don't you get it? I don't want you in my life. Neither do I want this filthy dish you made with your filthy hands!

I could feel the heat from the spilled food seeping into my skin, but it was nothing compared to the burn of his rejection.

Aaira: But...

I tried to speak, but couldn't eventually. I wanted to explain, to apologize, to make him understand, but the intensity of his angered gaze left me speechless. I could only stand there, my heart pounding in my chest as tears pricked at the corners of my eyes.

Jungkook stood up abruptly. He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself, but the rage in his eyes was still unmistakable.

Jungkook: Just get out. I don't want to see you or your pathetic attempts to make things right. Leave me alone!

The command was clear, and there was no room for argument. I could see the pain and frustration in his eyes, and it was clear that nothing I said or did would change his mind right now. I nodded, turning away slowly.

As I moved to leave the room, He crossed the space between us, and before I could react, he pinned me down onto the bed. His grip was unrelenting, his nails digging into my skin with a sharp, painful pressure. I gasped as the sting of his touch sent shivers through me, my heart already aching still.

Tears welled up in my eyes, spilling down my cheeks uncontrollably. The pain of his rejection was compounded by the physical hurt of his grip. I could barely breathe, my chest tightening with the effort of holding back my sobs. I had tried so hard to make him happy with the food I had prepared, only to face this cruelty in return.

His other hand moved to my stomach, his fingers resting there. The contact felt cold and alien, and I shivered under his touch. He pointed to my abdomen.

Jungkook: You and this child, both are not mine anymore. Only Aimin belongs to me.

I felt a deep, wrenching pain in my heart as he continued to hold me down. The love and hope I had tried to offer seemed to have been rejected entirely, leaving me feeling hollow and devastated. I cried out, but he only tightened his grip.

Finally, he released his grip, standing up and stepping away. I lay there, trembling, the tears still streaming down my face as I tried to process the depth of his anger and the finality of his words.

Jungkook: Get the hell out of my sight and don't you dare show this fucking face again!

He jerked his hand away, and I felt the sting of his nails as they pulled out, the sharp pain accompanied by the warmth of blood trickling down from the marks he had made. The sensation was jarring.

I sat there, my body wracked with sobs, The room felt like a prison, the walls closing in with the weight of his anger. His words echoed in my mind, Jungkook's expression hardened, and he turned his back on me.

Jungkook: Fine. You don't want to leave? I'll leave then!

With that, he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him with a force that reverberated through the room. I remained on the bed, my sobs only sound breaking the silence.

I slowly walked toward the broken dolsot, as I picked up the shards of the shattered dish, the jagged edges cut into my fingers, mingling with the blood already seeping from my wrists. I didn't care about the pain; the mess needed to be cleaned, and I had to keep moving.

The food that had spilled on the floor was a mix of colors and textures. I carefully gathered the fragments of the bowl and the remnants of the meal, trying to piece together the fragments as if by cleaning up the mess, I could somehow mend the rift between us.

Once I had cleared the broken pieces and the food, I felt the sharp sting of the cuts on my fingers and the blood that had begun to dry on my skin. My movements were slow and careful this time as I made my way to the bathroom.

As soon as I undressed, my gaze fell upon the purple mark above my heart, I gave it a light smile. The discoloration stood out against my pale skin, and I traced its edges with trembling fingers.

I sank into the bath, I tried to focus on the soothing heat of the water, hoping it would offer some comfort. The bathroom, with its steam and gentle splashing, felt like a fragile bubble in which I could briefly escape from the harsh reality outside.

As I sat there, the warm water enveloping me, I allowed myself to cry fully, the tears serving as a release for the agony that had taken over my heart. The mark above my heart seemed to pulse with each sob.

Eventually, I emerged from the bath, The steam had dissipated, leaving only the cold reality of the aftermath. I wrapped myself in a towel, my tears finally subsiding, but the ache in my chest remained.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror, my face flushed and tear-streaked. The mark on my chest was still visible. As I stared at my reflection, I realized that no amount of cleaning or bathing could erase the pain or fix what was broken.

After dressing, I walked slowly downstairs. I caught sight of Jungkook and Aimin in the living room. Jungkook was crouched down, his eyes full of warmth as he played with Aimin. As I reached the bottom, I saw Jungkook sitting on the floor, playing with Aimin. They both were giggling, laughing with each other as Jungkook tickled him.

But, When Jungkook noticed me, his expression hardened. Without a word, he quickly pulled Aimin into his embrace, lifting him up as if to shield him from me. The suddenness of the action made Aimin's eyes light up with excitement.

Jungkook: Let's go and play outside, Aimin.

Aimin: Yay! Outside!

I could see the excitement in his eyes. It was a painful reminder of how quickly things could change, how easily he could be swayed away from me. I watched as Jungkook stood up, holding Aimin securely in his arms.

Jungkook: Come on, Aimin. Let's go have some fun.

I stood there, feeling the sting of his actions. How much had changed. Jungkook's actions spoke volumes about his intentions; It was clear he was intent on distancing Aimin from me, creating a barrier that would further isolate me from the child I cared so deeply about. My heart ached at the thought of losing another connection, another part of my life.

Aimin looked back at me briefly, his smile was wide and innocent, unaware of the undercurrent of tension. I forced a weak smile in return, trying to mask the pain I felt. Jungkook's gaze was cold as he walked past me with Aimin in his arms.

I stood there, watching them go. As they exited the house, I was left alone in the hallway. I leaned against the wall, trying to gather my thoughts.

***

The days that followed were a haze of silence and sorrow. Jungkook's behavior remained cold and distant, treating me as if I were nothing more than a pariah in our own home. I opened that cursed journal which was causing all of this and started writing again.

"
Dear journal,

One week passed, and my attempts to communicate with him grew more desperate. I would wait for him in the kitchen as he prepared his meals, hoping that the act of making his favorite dishes might spark some conversation.

Each time, I approached him with a hopeful smile, only to be met with a curt nod or a dismissive grunt. The warmth I tried to offer was met with a chill that seemed to freeze any chance of reconciliation.

I tried speaking to him directly, confronting him with the pain of the distance that had grown between us. One morning, as he sipped his coffee at the kitchen table, I gathered the courage to sit across from him, my voice trembling.

Aaira: "Please, can we talk? I know things have been difficult..."

His eyes flicked up from his cup, meeting mine with a look of disdain. He set the cup down slowly, his voice dripping with contempt.

Jungkook: "What is there to talk about? You've made your intentions clear enough. I have nothing to say to you."

The sharpness of his words cut through me, and I struggled to maintain my composure. I wanted to argue, to plead with him to understand, but each time I tried, he dismissed me with increasing rudeness.

Another evening, as he came in from a long day, I attempted to engage him in conversation while he was unwinding in the living room. I approached him cautiously, sitting down beside him on the sofa.

Aaira: "Can we at least discuss what's been happening?"

He shifted away from me, his body language making it clear that he didn't want to be near me. His voice was low and mocking.

Jungkook: "What's left to fix? You've already shown me exactly who you are. There's nothing more to discuss."

The harshness in his tone made my heart sink, but I refused to give up. I continued to try different approaches, hoping that perhaps if I made some gesture of understanding or offered a heartfelt apology, he might relent.

I decided to leave a note for him, hoping that written words might convey my feelings without the immediate pressure of a face-to-face conversation. I slipped the note under his door before heading to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

The note read: "Jungkook, I understand if you need space. I'm here whenever you're ready to talk. Please, let me know if there's anything I can do to make things better."

Later that evening, I saw the note crumpled and tossed aside. Jungkook's response was more cutting than I'd anticipated. He was more harsh all the days he told me that my words mean nothing to him, i should stop trying.

Jungkook: "Your words mean nothing to me. Just stop trying."

I even went so far as to write him a letter, pouring my heart into every word, trying to convey the depth of my regret and my desire to mend what was broken.

──────────────────
Dear Jungkook,

I hope this letter finds you well, though I understand if it might bring up feelings you'd rather avoid. I want to apologize for my actions and the pain they've caused you.

I made the dolsot bibimbap with the hope that it would bring us closer, a small gesture to show how much I care. I realize now that my actions didn't come across as intended and only added to the existing hurt. I am deeply sorry for that.

The confrontation we had was painful for both of us, and I understand why you're upset. I know that my presence has been a source of tension and frustration, and for that, I sincerely apologize. The last thing I wanted was to push you further away or to cause you any more distress.

I see now that I've made mistakes and that there's a need for space and understanding. I want nothing more than for you and Aimin to be happy. I will respect your wishes and the boundaries you've set, even though it's incredibly hard for me.

Please know that my apologies are sincere, and I hope we can find a way to heal from this.

Sincerely,
Jeon Aaira.

──────────────────

When I handed him the letter, his expression was one of cold amusement. He glanced at the envelope before tossing it aside with a dismissive wave.

Jungkook: "Save your letters. They don't change anything. I'm not interested in your excuses."

The rejection stung deeply, but I persisted. I would often find myself standing outside his office door, waiting for him to come out, only to be met with a cold shoulder or a curt dismissal. I tried to help with his work, offering assistance wherever I could, but each time, he would brush me off with increasing impatience.

Jungkook: "I don't need your help. Just stay out of my way."

His tone was so filled with irritation that it left me feeling utterly helpless. I had never seen him like this before, so consumed by anger and bitterness. Every attempt I made to reconnect, every gesture of goodwill, was met with hostility. The man I had once known, the man I had loved and cherished, seemed to be lost beneath layers of hurt and resentment.

The finality of his behavior was a heavy weight around my heart. It seemed as if he had completely severed the ties between us, treating me as if I were invisible or, worse, a source of contamination. Each day was a struggle, as I grappled with the reality of his rejection and the distance that had grown between us.

The house itself seemed to echo the silence between us. The laughter and warmth that had once filled it were replaced by a cold emptiness. I moved through the rooms, doing my best to maintain some semblance of normalcy, but the absence of his presence and the chill of his demeanor made it difficult to feel at home.

The weeks dragged on, each day blending into the next, marked only by my futile attempts to reach out to him. The pain of being treated like a leper, of being shut out from the life I had once been a part of, was a constant ache.

Sadly,
Jeon Aaira.

"

By the time I had stopped writing my journal, it was already evening, I was staring at my reflection in the closet mirror. But, A sudden wave of nausea overwhelmed me. I stumbled toward the sink, my heart racing as I braced myself against the cool porcelain. My body convulsed violently, and as I began to vomit, my eyes widened in horror.

The crimson liquid that spilled from my mouth wasn't just bile or stomach acid-it was blood. The sight of it sent a jolt of panic through me, and my mind raced with questions and fears. What was happening to me? Was my child safe? The thought of what could be wrong made me cry uncontrollably.

I tried to steady myself, gripping the edge of the sink as I continued to retch. Each heave brought more blood, and the sight of it, combined with the stabbing pain in my stomach, only deepened my despair. My breathing came in ragged gasps, and I struggled to keep my composure, but the panic and fear overwhelmed me.

Tears streamed down my face, mingling with the sweat and blood. I sobbed, my shoulders shaking as I thought of the baby growing inside me. The fear of losing my child, of something going terribly wrong, was unbearable. I reached out for anything to hold on to, desperate for support and answers. I tried to call out to Jungkook.

Aaira: My lord!!

When I screamed, I realized my nose was bleeding profusely, The crimson streaks smeared across my lips and dripped onto the floor, intensifying my panic and desperation. The sight of my own blood was a chilling reminder of the gravity of the situation, and I could hardly comprehend the fear and dread gripping me.

Aaira: Jungkook!

I screamed, as I continued to cry and vomit, my voice growing hoarse as I shouted for Jungkook, desperation echoing in each cry.

Aaira: Jungkook! Please, come here!

I screamed, but there was no response. My throat felt raw from the effort, and my fears only intensified with the silence that followed.

Aaira: Jungkook it's important!

The door opened with a sudden burst. Suah noona entered, her face was in horror, as she rushed in. Her eyes widened as she took in the scene-my pale face, the bloodied sink, and the puddle of red on the floor.

Suah: What happened? Aaira, are you okay?

Her voice was filled with urgency as she hurried to my side. The sight of her here was a relief, someone who could offer professional help. I struggled to catch my breath, tears streaming down my face as I clung to the sink.

Aaira: Suah noona... I'm... I'm vomiting blood... I don't know what to do... Is the baby...?

Her hands moved quickly and efficiently, checking my pulse and assessing my condition with a practiced eye.

Suah: You're in shock. Stay calm; we'll get you the help you need.

She quickly assessed my condition. Seeing that I was in shock and unable to travel in this condition, she decided to take immediate action to stabilize me at home.

Suah: You're in shock, but we need to address this quickly. I'm going to give you something to help calm you and stabilize your condition.

She moved around the room, gathering items from her medical kit. With a steady hand, she administered a tincture-an herbal mixture designed to calm the stomach and help with internal bleeding.

Suah Noona: This will help with the nausea and any internal distress. Try to relax. I'll stay with you until you're better.

She helped me to lie down on the bed, placing a cool, damp cloth on my forehead to ease my feverish state. The medicine began to take effect, soothing my agitation and easing the pain. Despite the discomfort, I found some relief as my body started to calm.

Suah Noona: You need to rest. The medicine should help with the bleeding, but it's important for you to stay calm and relaxed. I'll check on you periodically.

She arranged pillows around me to ensure I was comfortable and checked my pulse once more. She caress my head lightly, as she sits beside me on the bed.

Suah Noona: You're going to be fine. The bleeding should stop soon. Try to sleep, and we'll see how you're doing in the morning.

As I lay there, the exhaustion of the past days and the emotional turmoil took over, and I slowly drifted into a troubled sleep, hoping that the medicine and Suah noona's care would be enough to protect my child and restore my drained health.

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"No matter how much I apologized for my deeds, the growing distance and the wounds in our hearts seemed destined to remain, maybe even contributing to my untimely end."

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