Chapter 15: (Aaira's pov)

I hesitated, unsure if I should ask the question that was burning in my mind. My eyes darted around the room, looking for some distraction. They landed on Soobin, still silent and expressionless, as always. Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to look back at her.

Aaira: Has Jungkook ever touched you?

The words spilled out all at once. Her eyes widened in shock, her body tensing visibly. She looked away, clearly uncomfortable, but I needed to know. It was important.

Y/b: What... what do you mean?

Her voice was barely audible to me, maybe I was just too much lost in my own thoughts.

Aaira: You know what I mean. Has he ever... done anything to you?

Her eyes darted back to mine.

Y/n: Why would you ask me that?

Aaira: Because I need to know.

The tension in the room was thickening with each passing second. I looked down, my vision blurring as tears filled my eyes. I couldn't hold them back any longer. A sob escaped my lips, and soon I was crying uncontrollably. My shoulders shook with the force of my emotions, my breath coming in ragged gasps.

I kept crying, my face turned away from her. I didn't want her to see me like this, broken and helpless. The dim light of the candle cast my shadow on the wall, broken and miserable. It felt like it was suffocating me. The sound of my sobs filled the wrong entirely.

She didn't say anything, but I could feel her eyes on me, watching, judging, maybe even pitying. I didn't care. I couldn't stop the flood of emotions that poured out of me. The guilt, the fear, the helplessness- I felt like I was drowning, I don't know why I needed answers to such vulgar questions.

After what felt like an eternity, I managed to take a shaky breath, trying to calm myself. I wiped at my face, my fingers trembling, but I still couldn't bring myself to look at her.

Aaira: I'm sorry.

I didn't know what else to say. I didn't even know why I had asked her that question. All I knew was that I needed to find some kind of clarity in this chaos, some way to make sense of the mess my life had become.

She cleared her throat, earning a glance from me. As I looked up at her slowly, my vision was still blurred by tears. She sighed, her face was full of pity and frustration.

Y/n: What do you want to know?

I just keep looking at her with my eyes pleading her to tell me the truth.

Y/n: Why would you cry like that, Aaira?

Her voice was calmer now, almost gentle. I swallowed hard, trying to find my voice again.

Aaira: If he... perhaps...

Before I could finish my question, she interrupted, her eyes narrowing.

Y/N: You sure you want me to say the truth?

I hesitated, her question settled over me like a shroud. Did I really want to hear the answer? Could I handle the truth, whatever it might be? She asked again.

Y/N: Are you sure, Aaira?

I nodded slowly, my heart pounding in my chest. She confirmed a third time, her eyes boring into mine, demanding an answer.

Y/N: Do you really want to know, Aaira first look at yourself, can you handle it?

I took a deep breath, why would she even say it, does that mean he actually touched her ? I looked down, and started to fiddle with the lock of my dress.

Aaira: Yes.

She held my gaze for a long moment, then sighed again, this time more deeply.

Y/N: He did.

The words were even half a way, but i couldn't take them anymore. My mind went blank. I stood up without another word, my legs feeling weak beneath me.

Y/n: Aaira ?

I moved on autopilot, not fully aware of what I was doing. My hands shook as I reached for the gag and tied it back over her mouth, ignoring her attempts to speak.

Her muffled protests fell on deaf ears as I backed away. I just kept nodding my head as I was walking backward, The basement seemed to be mocking me, the dim light growing dimmer, the walls pressing in. I stumbled toward the stairs, my legs barely holding me up.

As i finally walked out of the room, without looking backwards once more I started walking towards the stairs passage. The hallways were silent, my heartbeat could be heard, What a miserable thing my life had become, hadn't it ? I saw the stairs to the mansion as I started ascending them.

Halfway to the stairs, my strength gave out. I collapsed onto the cold concrete floor, my body wracked with sobs. I couldn't hold it together any longer. I cried out, my voice echoing through the empty basement. I felt like I was falling apart, piece by piece, shattering under the unbearable pressure.

My cries grew louder, more desperate, as I clutched at the floor, trying to find something solid to hold onto. The cold, hard surface offered no comfort, no solace, no peace, just stillness. I was lost and drowning in the reality of what had been done, of what had been allowed to happen under my roof, to a person I barely even knew, yet was now responsible for something I had lost.

I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. All I could do was cry, the sound of my own cries filled the space, bouncing off the walls, coming back to me like a haunting echo. I felt like I was trapped in a nightmare, unable to wake up, why was all this happening to me, why at the happiest time of my life, my life took such a turn.

I don't know how long I lay there, crying on the cold floor, but it felt like an eternity. Eventually, the sobs subsided, leaving me exhausted and numb. I curled up, hugging my knees to my chest, trying to make myself as small as possible, wishing I could disappear entirely.

No matter how much I wished it away, it was still there. And I had to face it. Somehow, I had to find a way to keep going, to deal with the truth I had uncovered. But for now, all I could do was lie there and cry, mourning the life I had thought I had, and the person I had thought I was.

Suddenly, my sobs turned into a twisted, hysterical laughter. I clutched my stomach, the laughter bubbling up uncontrollably. It felt as though I was losing my mind, as though the sheer absurdity of it all had pushed me over the edge, i started to lose my senses.

Aaira: Look at you, Aaira. What a joke. You thought you were the only one? You thought you had Aimin so you won?

The laughter echoed off the cold basement walls, a manic sound that seemed to come from somewhere deep inside me. I felt like I was split in two, one part of me laughing in mockery, the other still crying inside.

Aaira: You couldn't even protect your husband. You kept thinking he would come to save you. You were so blind, so stupid!

My voice rose in pitch, I was mocking myself, taunting the person I had become, the person who had failed so completely in everything.

Aaira: You thought bandaging her wounds would make it all better for you, for her? How pathetic. How utterly pathetic!

The laughter grew louder, harsher, until it was almost a scream. I clenched my stomach, it hurts so badly, I kept laughing, when my eyes were still tearing. It was the third time it was happening to me.

Aaira: Mumma, you're such a loser, look at you, joker.

I felt like I was outside of myself, watching this spectacle unfold, unable to stop it. My body shook with the force of my actions, I can't believe it was me.

Aaira: Why are you even alive? Why don't you go and just die.

I gasped for breath, the laughter finally subsiding into ragged sobs. I lay there, my energy spent, feeling more broken than ever. The basement was silent again, except for the sound of my uneven breathing.

Aaira: What am I going to do now?

I had no idea what to do next, no idea how to move forward. I stood up for now, As I reached the stairs again, I leaned heavily against the railing, trying to catch my breath, as I ascended with the help of it. I felt sick to my stomach, my body trembling with what I had just learned.

As i finally stopped inside the house, I quickly moved towards the stairs not thinking twice about anything, I started to ascend the stairs towards my floor, but suddenly a voice came towards my ear.

Jungkook: Aaira?

His voice broke through my thoughts, and I looked up to see him standing at the top of the stairs, his face etched with concern. He rushed down to me, his hands reaching out to steady me.

Jungkook: Aaira, what's wrong? What happened? I was looking for you ?

I couldn't meet his eyes, the guilt and shame was too overwhelming. I shook my head, unable to form the words to explain what I had just discovered. He gently guided me to the living room of the first floor, sitting me down on the couch.

Jungkook: Talk to me, Aaira. Please.

I shook my head again. Jungkook quickly reached for the glass on the table, his hands trembling as he brought it to my lips.

Jungkook: Here, drink this.

He made me drink it, his eyes full of worry. I just stayed silent, the liquid soothing my parched throat but doing nothing for the turmoil in my mind. I didn't want to say anything to him. I was fine, right? I kept telling myself she lied. She must have lied.

Aaira: It's alright. I'm fine.

I whispered, more to convince myself than him. I repeated it like a mantra, hoping it would somehow make the pain and confusion go away.

Jungkook: Aaira, please. You're not fine. I can see it.

His voice was gentle but insistent. He was desperate for answers, but I couldn't give them to him. Not yet. Not when I was barely holding on myself.

Aaira: She lied. She has to be lying.

I murmured to myself, only I could hear it. I could feel his eyes on me, searching for any sign of what was going on inside my head. But I couldn't face him, couldn't bear to see the pain in his eyes. Couldn't let him see the pain inside my heart.

Jungkook suddenly hugged me tightly, his embrace both comforting and suffocating. I wanted to push him away with all my will, but I couldn't. He was the love of my life. Despite everything, I still needed him. I tried to hug him back, but my arms felt heavy, like they were made of lead.

Jungkook: Aaira, what happened? Please tell me.

His voice was gentle. I struggled to find my voice, to come up with an explanation that wouldn't shatter his world.

Aaira: I... I fell.

I lied, my voice was shaky, yet unconvincing. He pulled back slightly, his eyes scanning my face, searching for the truth.

Jungkook: You fell?

He repeated, clearly not convinced. The weight of his gaze was too much to bear I felt myself slipping away under his stares, as I couldn't find the strength to say another word. Before either of us could react further, the room started to spin. My vision blurred, and I felt myself collapsing on his chest.

Jungkook: Aaira...

The last thing I remember was Jungkook's panicked voice calling my name and the sensation of his arms lifting me up. Darkness enveloped me completely, but I could still feel the warmth of his embrace as he carried me toward our bedroom.

── ᯓᡣ𐭩 ── "I wondered if what I had done, in pursuit of peace, would instead lead to my untimely death." ── ᯓᡣ𐭩 ──

When I woke up again, it was to the soft glow of the late evening sun filtering through the curtains, casting a warm golden hue across the room, I felt so warm. The air was filled with the soothing aroma of jasmine candles, their delicate floral scent mingling with the faint breeze that drifted in through the open window.

I was laying on the bed, the pillows under my neck were placed comfortably, The room itself seemed like a chamber of calmness and serenity, I found myself tucked snugly under the soft sheets, It was as if the bed itself was cocooning me, offering solace and protection from the outside world.

Just then, the door creaked open quietly, and Jungkook walked in, a trolley in his hands adorned with a steaming teapot and a plate of freshly baked cookies. His smile was gentle and warm as he set the trolley down beside the bed, for two minutes I had to wonder why I was here, and when I realised, it made it hard for me to even smile back at him.

Jungkook: You're awake, my love?

His voice was calm. He poured a cup of tea and placed it gently on the bedside table before sitting down beside me. I nodded weakly, still feeling a bit disoriented but grateful for his presence, I don't know why I was letting myself believe her words, she could have been lying.

Jungkook: How are you feeling?

He asked softly, reaching out to brush a strand of hair away from my face, I slightly pulled back my face, earning a hurt expression from he, he slightly turned his face to look at me, but I just looked down.

Jungkook: Aaira, what happened, are you alright, did I do something wrong ?

I refused from my head, I don't want to burden him with my thoughts, my pain.

Jungkook: Are you alright?

He asked me again, I took a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts.

Aaira: Better, I think.

He nodded understandingly.

Jungkook: You scared me, Aaira. I thought I lost you, why did you faint like that huh?

His eyes were filled with tears, I felt a pang of guilt knowing how much my actions had hurt him, i took his hand in mine before planting a kiss at the back of his palm.

Aaira: I'm sorry.

The words came out hoarse. He shook his head gently, his eyes finding mine, before squeezing my hand lightly, I tried to give him a small smile, to reassure him I was alright, when I was draining from inside.

Jungkook: Don't apologize.

I nodded, He leaned in and kissed my forehead tenderly, his lips warm against my skin, I just closed my eyes, not letting the tears spill from the edge of my eye.

Jungkook: I brought some tea and cookies. Thought you might be hungry.

He offered me a small smile, and I couldn't help but return it weakly.

Aaira: Thank you, My Lord.

He poured another cup of tea for himself and settled back against the headboard, his gaze never leaving me. We sat in silence for a moment, the only sound was the beating it out hearts.

Jungkook: Do you want to talk about what happened?

His voice was gentle, giving me the space to open up if I chose to. I took a sip of the tea, feeling its warmth spreading through me, calming my nerves. I just refused from my head, as i looked down.

Aaira: There's nothing wrong.

He nodded again, clearly not convinced.

Jungkook: Take all the time you need. I'll be here, okay?

I managed a small nod, as I nibbled on a cookie, savoring its sweetness. Jungkook sat beside me. His eyes seemed to search for something within me, a connection that felt shattered and distant in that moment.

Jungkook: Don't you ever want to ask how I've been doing?

His voice was soft. I realized then, with a pang of guilt, that I had been so consumed by my own pain and suffering that I hadn't once considered how he might have been feeling.

Aaira: I... I'm sorry. I... I haven't been thinking straight. Sorry....

I looked down, unable to meet his gaze. Had I been inadvertently hurting him all this while by not reaching out, by not asking how he was coping? I know I've been hurting him again and again.

Jungkook: Don't you want to know if I was living or dying without you?

His words were a whisper, I chuckled softly, the sound bitter on my lips.

Aaira: Of course I do. I should have asked. I'm sorry.

He didn't say anything for a moment, his expression softening as he reached out to gently brush his fingers against mine.

Jungkook: It's okay, Aaira. Just rest now. You need to take care of yourself.

I nodded slightly, but the guilt was still there.

Jungkook: Rest well, Aaira.

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"I sought salvation through my own suffering, blind to the fact that it would hurt him too."

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