Oh my God. Why had I forgotten this conversation? Why had I forgotten that Tae had also made a wish? I had been more focused on the fact that I only had 30 days, and that he was going to be hurt, and had somehow forgotten that I was apparently going to help him get his wish. 

~♡~

Let him love me...let him make a difference. That's what I was supposed to do?

Maybe I had been spending too much time thinking and worrying, when I should just be living, and enjoying every second. But I didn't know if I could. I wanted to. I wanted to believe that everything would work out just how it was supposed to.

If I could convince myself to believe that, to accept that everything that happens, or that will happen, is supposed to happen just the way it does, maybe I could enjoy the rest of my time here. But I didn't know if I could just ignore the fact that Tae was going to end up hurt.

How could I accept his love, knowing that in less than 2 weeks, he'd be left heartbroken?

"Taehyung  wants to know that he's made a difference in someone's life."

He had made such a difference to so many, but I understood that it would feel so much more rewarding to know the person who he'd helped, to be able to have someone specific in mind when he remembered that he'd made a difference, and changed their life.  

"You are the person whose life will be changed by Taehyung. No matter what the future brings for you, you're life will be better after having known him."

My life has already been changed, so much. It was difficult to put into words the impact being around him, all of them really, has had on me. There was such a positive energy surrounding them. The time that I had spent with Tae that hadn't been filled with worry had been amazing. I just felt a constant happiness in my heart.

He was a part of me now, he held a place in my heart that would always belong to him. No matter what my future held, Taehyung would be a part of it. I would always have this to look back on, and I knew that even in my worst moments, the memories of my time here would bring me so much joy.

"Then continue to be happy. Let Taehyung love you. Let him make a difference. Don't stress over what might happen at the end of your time here. Focus on the now. Don't waste your wish. Things have a way of working out just how they're supposed to."

Don't waste my wish.

That's what I was doing. I was losing precious time with him because I was so worried about how this was going to end, and how I didn't think I wanted him to find me because after all we've experienced together, I know I could never think of him as just a friend. On top of that, the fact that I could technically be his mother would make things so awkward.

I didn't want to waste my wish. I wanted to let him love me. He'd already made a difference.

Things have a way of working out just how they're supposed to.

I wanted to focus on now. I wanted to trust that Taehyung would be okay. But even if I could believe that, would he?

I rolled over, pulling the sheet up over me, wondering what I could say to him to get him to just accept whatever was to come.

Would he even want to talk to me after what I'd said earlier?

I sat up, grabbing my phone, wondering if I should text him. It was almost 2am, I was sure he was asleep. But he would get it in the morning, and maybe It would alleviate some of the tension I knew would be present after what had happened.

I opened my contacts, rolling my eyes when I again realized that he was my ONLY contact. My fingers slid across the screen as I typed what I hoped would be enough of an apology to take away the hurt I'd caused, without causing anymore.

I don't know the right words to let you know how sorry I am for hurting you. I'm so scared, and I hate that I've taken that out on you. I guess I've somehow lost sight of what I've known all along, that this was only supposed to be temporary. All I've been able to think about is how I don't want it to end. But I knew right from the start that it would, and I should have kept that knowledge closer, instead of letting it fade into the background.

More importantly, I've realized that this is beyond my control, beyond our control, and whatever is meant to happen will happen. No matter what either of us do, it's out of our hands. So I'm letting go of the worry, and the fear. I just want to spend time with you. I want to see your smile. I want to be close to you. I want you to love me. It's all I want. I just want to be with you. I want to focus on right now, not a future we both know we don't have.

I can't express how sorry I am for what I said earlier, but please know that it was my fear of being without you controlling my emotions. I know that making a wish to be here, with you, and having it come true, has been the absolute best thing that ever could have happened to me. It wasn't a mistake. I will never regret a single second I've spent with you.  I hope you can forgive                                                           me.                                             
                                                      1:55am

It was a long message, but it was what I needed to say.

I hit send, and placed my phone back on the nightstand, lying back down and knowing I needed to get some sleep. I would just close my eyes and try not to think. But for some reason, I just didn't feel tired.

TAEHYUNGS POV

Why couldn't I fall asleep. Tomorrow was going to be a bitch if I ended up awake all night.

I sighed. I wished I could talk to Delaney. I was hurt, there was no denying that. That didn't change how I felt. But I no longer knew how she felt, after what she'd said. I hated that we'd left things like that.

Then there was Jungkook. I wasn't even sure why he'd been so upset. He'd cried in the car, and I had tried to recall what had been said that may have caused him to get so emotional, but I just didn't know.

I'd heard him leave his room earlier, because it was across from mine. Not long after, I'd heard him come back, his door closing with a bang. I knew the others had probably talked about what had happened, and I wondered if Kook had walked into that conversation, and gotten more upset.

I'd been laying here for hours, not able to fall asleep. I'd waited till I was sure everyone else had gone in their rooms, and I'd quietly crept to the kitchen and grabbed a sprite and something to snack on, and locked myself back in my room. I wasn't really hungry, but I hadn't eaten much during the day, and I thought maybe if I ate, I'd be able to fall asleep. It didn't work. It was now almost 2am.

I picked up my phone that I'd dropped on the bed beside me, and stared at it for several seconds, wishing I knew what to say, so I could text her. I dropped it on the bed again, closing my eyes, throwing my arm across them in frustration.

Seconds later, my phone vibrated, and I picked my head up in surprise. I wanted it to be her so bad, but I knew it could be Kookie, unable to sleep as well, or even Jimin, who sometimes stayed up even though he should be resting.

I picked it up, swiping it opened, and tapped the message icon, drawing in a sharp breath when I saw that it was from Delaney.

I was afraid to read it. I was afraid she had changed her mind, maybe wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

I took a breath, and looked at the words in front of me.

Delaney:

I don't know the right words to let you know how sorry I am for hurting you. I'm so scared, and I hate that I've taken that out on you. I guess I've somehow lost sight of what I've known all along, that this was only supposed to be temporary. All I've been able to think about is how I don't want it to end. But I knew right from the start that it would, and I should have kept that knowledge closer, instead of letting it fade into the background.

More importantly, I've realized that this is beyond my control, beyond our control, and whatever is meant to happen will happen. No matter what either of us do, it's out of our hands. So I'm letting go of the worry, and the fear. I just want to spend time with you. I want to see your smile. I want to be close to you. I want you to love me. It's all I want. I just want to be with you. I want to focus on right now, not a future we both know we don't have.

I can't express how sorry I am for what I said earlier, but please know that it was my fear of being without you controlling my emotions. I know that making a wish to be here, with you, and having it come true, has been the absolute best thing that ever could have happened to me. It wasn't a mistake. I will never regret a single second I've spent with you. I hope you can forgive me.                                                                                                                      1:55am

I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding, relief flooding thru me. I sat there for a few minutes, letting what she'd said sink in.

She was right, as much as I hated to admit it. All of this was beyond our control. No matter how badly I wanted to remember her name, no matter how hard I tried, if I wasn't meant to, I wouldn't. I knew that.

Focusing on right now...that sounded like a good idea. I didn't want to spend the rest of her days here worrying about the future.

  A future we both know we don't have

As much as it hurt, it was true.

I started to type a reply back, wanting to say something that would make her smile, but knowing it probably wasn't appropriate at the moment. I settled for something simple.

You should be sleeping. 8am will be here before you know it.                             

                                                                                                               1:58am

I sent it, thinking I should have said more. What if she thought I didn't want to talk to her? I was such an idiot.

My phone vibrated in my hand, and I lifted it to my line of vision immediately.

Delaney:

I think you're the one who should be sleeping! All I have to do is stand there and wait for you to need your hair fixed or make up touched up. Why are you still awake? I didn't wake you, did I?                                                                                          
1:59am

I smiled.

You didn't wake me. I can't sleep.

                                                 2:00am

Delaney:

I'm sorry. I know that's my fault. I upset you. :(

2:00am

I couldn't really deny that, because I had been upset. But I didn't want her to feel bad.

I could always come to your place, I'm sure being next to you would help me sleep better. :)

                                                 2:01am

I expected her to tell me to go to sleep, and that she would see me tomorrow.

Delaney:

So what are you waiting for? ;)

2:01am

A slow smile spread across my face. It would take me about 20 minutes to walk to her apartment, 10 if I jogged. I knew I would be seeing her in 6 hours, along with everyone else. I didn't want to wait. I wanted a chance to see her alone, just her and I.