"I know those boys will miss you very much, I can see how sad Tae-ah is already. Please take care of yourself, and if you get a chance, come back to visit sometime. It's been a pleasure to have you here, Laney. Do take care of yourself."

~♡~

Taehyung bowed, and I smiled at the man as we turned to leave, thinking how lucky they all were to have someone like him to steer them in the right direction, and help them achieve their dreams.

We walked, hand in hand, and I waited for Taehyung to speak, but he stayed silent. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, and he seemed to be deep in thought.

"What are you thinking about?"

He sighed, his gaze falling to the sidewalk in front of him, and shook his head.

"Nothing. Just trying not to check the time. I'd rather not know how much time is left till today is over."

I nodded.

"I don't wanna do this Delaney."

I squeezed his hand.

"I don't either."

We kept walking, despite the fact that neither one of us wanted to actually get where we were going. We both knew we didn't have a choice.

As we got closer to the dorm, I noticed that he slowed his pace. Maybe we couldn't stop it from happening, but we didn't have to rush it, so I gladly slowed down.

"Are you hungry? We could get something and take it home, sit on my bed and eat."

I smiled, not really hungry, but knowing that he was trying to think of something to slow down time. Nothing would. But it was the thought that counted.

"I could eat."

He nodded.

"Okay, but just something light. How bout some kimbap?"

"I don't know what that is, but sure." I answered, seeing him turn to me, his eyes rolling.

"Right. I forgot. It's...what you call sushi."

"Oh! Ok, I love sushi."

We walked to the place he wanted to order from, and we waited a few minutes for our order to be ready, then headed for home. It took us about 10 minutes, and we were stepping thru the front door.

No one was there yet, so he went to the kitchen to grab a soda, and then motioned for me to follow him down the hall to where his bedroom was.

We entered his room and he set everything down on the bed, coming back and closing the door.

I stood there, looking around his room. I'd never been here before. It was neat, for a guy anyway. It was grey and white, with yellow curtains on the only window. There was a desk with a computer on it in one corner, and a loveseat in the opposite corner, with a Tata plushie similar to the one I had sitting on the back, resting against the wall.

His bed was unmade, but that was the only thing in the room that wasn't tidy. There were a few pairs of shoes neatly lined up along a wall, with a few jackets, a hoodie and a bathrobe hanging on a row of hooks above the shoes.

A small lamp sat on his night stand, and he walked over to turn it on, as it was starting to get dark, diminishing the small amount of daylight coming thru the window.

"Let's eat."

He moved to the bed, and sat, scooting closer to the middle, pulling the bag of kimbap towards him, and removing the container, and a pair of chopsticks.

I followed, climbing onto the middle of the bed, and crossing my legs, facing him.

His smile was the saddest I'd seen it, and I reached across the space between us, my hand resting on his cheek as I looked into his eyes.

"I wish you wouldn't be sad Taehyung." I stroked his cheek with my thumb. "I hope you know just how much you've changed my life, how much of a difference you've made for me. It's because of you that I'll be okay."

He turned his head, kissing the palm of my hand, his hand coming up to cover mine.

"And it's thanks to you that I'll  be okay." He whispered. "But it might take me some time."

I hoped that meant that he realized he'd saved me, that his wish had been granted.

We ate our kimbap, Tae feeding me with the chopsticks, and then taking one himself. After we'd each had about 5, he closed the container, and climbed off the bed, placing it on his desk and grabbing the soda.

He popped it opened, and handed it to me. I took a drink, and gave it back, seeing him do the same before putting the can down.

He looked at me, and I could see from the look on his face that he was fighting the emotions that were trying to surface. I climbed off the bed, and went to him. He immediately pulled me into his embrace, hugging me tightly. I returned the hug, never wanting to let go.

After some time just holding each other, he pulled back, and I could see his eyes shining, but he was holding the tears back. He brought his hands up, cupping my face, and leaned down to kiss me, gently, slowly, his lips so soft and sweet against mine. His kisses made me dizzy, every time.

Soon, I felt his fingers slide into my hair, his hand holding the back of my head as his tongue slid between my lips, finding mine, and we kissed with the sole purpose of satisfying our hunger for each other.

We finally pulled apart, breathless, our foreheads meeting, and when our eyes locked together, I almost couldn't bear the pain I was seeing in his.

My eyes filled with tears, and I couldn't see him clearly because of it, so I squeezed them closed, forcing the tears out, letting them roll down my cheeks and fall, landing where ever they did in the non-existent space between our bodies.

His hands found mine, fingers intertwining together, and we stood like that, looking into each others eyes, bodies as close as they could be, foreheads touching, communicating without speaking.

I could see so much in his eyes. His desire for me to stay. His love for me. His fear of being without me. He'd said all those things to me in the past, but at this moment, I could see it in his eyes. I could also see that he wouldn't fight it, because he had no choice. He'd accepted it, he knew he had to let me go.  

"I keep trying to think of you as someone old enough to be my mother..." he said quietly, "because I feel like if I can do that, maybe it'll be easier to let you go. But it's not working."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "Maybe if I scold you for not making your bed, it'll be easier to see me that way..."

I smiled at him, and he chuckled, bringing his hands up to guide mine around his waist, then lifting his to warmly cup my face again. He brought his lips to mine, kissing me lightly.

"I didn't mean I couldn't think of you that way, I just meant that even when I do, it doesn't change how I feel about you."

I closed my eyes, overwhelmed with sadness for probably the 100th time just today. I felt his thumb slide across my lips, before he claimed them again with his in another soft sweet kiss..

"Do you know how hard it's going to be to know that you are somewhere in the world, and I can't find you, or see you, or talk to you, or even write to you?" He mumbled, his lips brushing against mine as he spoke.

It hardly seemed fair. I would know where he was, what he was doing. Maybe not in exact detail, but in general. I'd be able to see him, in video's, on award shows, in pictures and posts on social media. I saw no reason to point that out though. I was sure he knew.

"How do you know you would want to talk to me? What if you didn't like 51 year old me?"

"Give me one reason why I wouldn't."

I looked at my feet, so many reasons popping into my head.

"Because that me isn't vibrant and full of energy like this me is. That me no doubt has a few wrinkles, and some grey hairs. That me has experienced things in life that have made me someone I sometimes don't want to be, but I don't know how to separate myself from that part of me."

His hand stroked my hair, his index finger moving the strands that had fallen in front of my face.

"I think those experiences have taught you things, and made you a better person. Life is full of lessons, right? We are supposed to learn from them, and let them make us stronger. As far as wrinkles and grey hair, I think they would just add to your beauty. And don't try to tell me that you aren't vibrant and full of energy. You got here after an encounter with God, during a walk to the park, right? Besides, you know what we say...Forever, we are young..."

His words made me feel better.

He put a little distance between us, and pulled me to sit on the edge of the bed next to him. He held my hand, putting his other hand on top and resting them on his leg. He didn't look at me when he spoke, instead, looking at his hands holding mine.

"I don't know what's going to happen, Delaney, and I'm not going to pretend I'm not scared. I don't wanna be holding you, and have you just...disappear. I'm afraid to go to sleep, and I'm afraid not to."

I leaned my head on his shoulder, wishing I knew the right thing to say to lessen his fears.

"I don't really know either. I remember being in my room, curled up on my loveseat hugging Tata, and looking at you hanging on my wall. The next thing I knew, I was in my tiny apartment here, not sure where I was or what was going on."

"That doesn't make me feel any better." He glanced at me, one side of his mouth quirked up.

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm guessing I fell asleep, and when I woke up, I was here. I don't know how long I was asleep, and considering the time difference, It may not have been long at all. But I don't think you have to worry about me just disappearing. I'm sure nothing will happen until we are both asleep."

"What if I can't fall asleep? What if you fall asleep, and I don't? Then what? That's what's scaring me." He drew in a shaky breath, his next words coming out in a whisper. "What if when you fall asleep, he tries to take you from me? If that happens, I'm not letting you go."

My heart ached, for him, and for me, and for everything that we would be losing.

"I don't think it'll happen that way Taehyung." I said quietly.

He stood, and I stood next to him. He released my hand, and turned to move the rumpled covers down, then turned back to me.

"Can I hold you?"

I nodded, looking at him, but the tears filling my eyes made his face look all distorted. I felt him take my hands, and I let him guide me onto the bed. He moved to one side, laying down and waiting for me to lie down next to him, so he could pull me close.

He pulled the covers up over us, and we lay facing each other. His eyes held mine, and I tried to blink away the tears that just wouldn't stop filling my eyes.

His hand rested on my cheek, his thumb rubbing the tears away as they escaped the corner of my eye.

I was suddenly hit with such emotion at the realization that these were my last moments with him, and my body started to shake as I cried, burying my face into his chest. He hugged me tight, his hand moving to the back of my head, fingers gently moving into my hair.

I felt a pain in my chest that was almost unbearable. It hurt to swallow, it hurt to breathe, and I was sure my heart was breaking.

There was no stopping my tears, but I pulled back so that I could look at him. I didn't want to spend the end of my time here with my face buried into his chest. I wanted to see him.

We stared into each others eyes, and I felt like I would drown in the depths of sadness I saw in his.

"I don't wanna go, Tae. I don't wanna fall asleep."

He didn't speak right away, but I saw his adams apple move as he swallowed. His eyes became glassy, and he closed them, just for a second or two, then opened them to gaze deep into mine.

"Don't ever forget that I love you, Delaney Harris. Whenever you see me, in video's, or on social media, on TV, or even when you look at your wall, remember how much I love you. Promise me...that you'll never forget."

The tears ran from the corners of his eyes, and across the bridge of his nose, falling onto the pillow beneath his head. I remembered what Jungkook had said to me when we'd had our conversation earlier.

I nodded, reaching to wipe his tears away.

"I promise." I leaned in to kiss him, our lips reluctant to leave each others. "I love you, so much Taehyung. I don't know if you realize how much. I'm so torn, because I feel like it's okay for this me to love you, but once I return to my reality, it's no longer going to be okay. It doesn't mean I'll stop, I couldn't if I tried. But I want you to know that without you, my world was shades of grey. There was no color before you came along. All my eyes seemed to see were shadows and darkness. All my ears heard were dull, unpleasant sounds. All I felt was discontent, sadness, hopelessness."

His tears continued to fall as he gazed into my eyes. The galaxy that I used to see in his was no longer visible, clouded by darkness.

I cupped his face in my hands, looking deep into those sad eyes.

"But then I found you, and everything changed. I saw beauty where before there had been none. It was all around me. The darkness faded, and was replaced by colors as vibrant and beautiful as the brightest rainbow. And hearing you, that changed how I heard everything. Nothing sounded the same. I compared everything to you. The thing is, nothing compared, no one has ever come close to making me feel the things you make me feel, with your voice alone."

I smiled at him, remembering how his voice had touched me to the deepest corners of my soul. It left me speechless, oftentimes in tears, and always wanting more. I never tired of hearing him, sing, talk, laugh, hum, cry, yell, it didn't matter. I would never get enough.

"You are my heartbeat, Taehyung. That's what I want you to remember. You are my smile. You are my joy. You are my everything. That will never change. I love you, I will always love you."

He suddenly sobbed, letting out everything he'd been trying to hold inside, and I pulled his face into my chest. Tiredness was starting to take over, and I was noticing It was getting harder to keep my eyes opened.  I let my tears fall as he cried, his arms having slid around me, holding me tightly, and I prayed that we would both fall asleep together, so that neither one of us had to fear letting go of the other as they disappeared from our embrace.

I finally pulled back, wanting to look at him. I wanted to fall asleep, with him being the last thing I saw. We gazed into each others eyes, tears spilling, hearts hurting, souls shattering. I reached up, touching his cheek with my fingertips, feeling the wetness. His hand came up, covering mine, and I cupped his cheek, his hand pressing mine to his lips, as he kissed my palm.

"Don't forget me..." he whispered against my palm, and I sobbed, feeling a pain in my chest so intense I gasped, feeling like the breath had been forced from my lungs.

The last thing I remember is wiping the tears from his face, gazing into his sleepy eyes, and trying with everything in me to keep my eyes opened for just a little bit longer, as I saw his flutter closed, open, then close again, remaining closed.