"No, but one day, I think I'll be able to miss her with a smile, and then hopefully It won't hurt so bad to remember."

~♡~

The car had come to a stop, and the three of us exited, making our way into the building, and heading for the lounge.

Jungkook hadn't said anything else, but at least he didn't look like he hated the entire world anymore.

He purchased a can of soda from the vending machine, and mumbled something about going to get a shower, and disappeared.

Tae and I sat at one of the tables, knowing the others would probably be here any time.

"You know we're probably going to get questioned when they get here, right?"

"I know. Just remember, it's because they care."

A few minutes later, Jin and J-Hope came in, eyeing Tae and I before approaching us.

"Are you two okay?" Jin asked.

"We're fine hyung. We had a bit of a misunderstanding the other day, but we've worked it out. Everything is fine." Tae said, smiling.

J-Hope looked at me, and I gave him a smile.

"Tae-ah, I think we should talk. I'm worried about you, and what your intentions are once Laney's... gone."

Tae sighed, lowering his gaze to the floor briefly before looking right at Jin.

"I don't have any intentions, hyung. My only intentions are to show her all the love I can until she..." he shook his head, his eyes closing, "until she has to go."

He kept his eyes closed for a few more seconds, opening them to see Jin still looking at him.

"So you aren't going to try to  find her?" J-Hope asked, brows furrowed.

He shook his head. "I'm not. If I'm meant to, than I guess I will. But I'm not going to try to force it. Even if I never remember her name, I'll always remember her, and that's what I'm going to hold on to."

I could see the smile in Jin's eyes, even though his mouth didn't show it. J-Hope looked relieved, but also sad.

"Okay! Well we have two days off...I say we all go to Lotte World, since we didn't go last time we had days off, like we talked about doing." Jin exclaimed happily.

Tae smiled. "That's because I was being selfish and wanted to keep her all to myself. But I think that sounds like a great idea, as long as Kookie comes too."

"As long as Kookie comes where?"

We all turned towards the voice, seeing Jungkook standing there, his damp hair sticking up everywhere from being towel dried, dressed in clean track pants and a t shirt.

Before anyone had a chance to answer him, the rest of the guys and their stylists all came in the door.

Namjoon looked at all of us, brows raised.

"What's going on?" He asked, confusion on his face.

Jin laughed. "Nothing, we were just deciding that we're all going to go to Lotte World tomorrow, so Laney can experience it before...well, so she can see what it's all about."

I gave Jin a small smile, thankful that he'd re-worded his sentence. I saw Jungkook roll his head back, sighing deeply, and I quietly walked over to him.

"Kookie, are you still mad?"

He looked at me, his expression tired. "I'm not mad. I'm...frustrated, at this whole situation. How is it fair that things can work out the way they're going to? How is it okay that Tae, who's already dealt with so much hurt from losing people he loves, and you, who obviously deal with unhappiness every day, have to go through something like this? How many more people is he going to lose? How much more is he supposed to go through before he just finally breaks, and can't take anymore?"

I understood how he felt. It didn't seem fair at all. I glanced towards the others, seeing Tae involved in a conversation with Jimin.

"Can we go talk someplace where no one will overhear us?"

He looked at me, slight surprise on his face.

"Sure, uh, follow me."

We left the lounge, and he entered another small office that was empty, closing the door behind me after I stepped inside.

He looked at me, brows furrowed as he waited for me to speak.

"Kookie, I'm so sorry that what's going on has ruined what you think love should be, but I hope you'll give it some time, and maybe one day realize that when love happens, you can't stop it. It doesn't always work out exactly how you want it to, but that doesn't make it any less beautiful while you've got it."

He shuffled his feet, keeping his gaze on the floor between us. "I still don't want it."

"There's something I want you to know, and I  hope it will change your mind about being there for Taehyung."

He looked up, his eyes meeting mine. "I doubt it. It's not that I don't want to be there for him, but I can't. I can't watch him willingly do this to himself. Don't take that wrong, because I mean nothing bad against you. I know you couldn't have known you would really end up here when you made your wish. But Tae could have saved himself the heartache he's going to have to endure. He could have refused to keep you as a stylist when he found out the truth. He could have decided to stay away from you."

"He almost did."

Jungkooks eyes widened a bit as he looked at me.

"The night I told Tae the truth about how I ended up here, he walked out on me, right after he told me that he would be requesting a new stylist, and that I needed to get some help."

He crossed his arms, looking uncomfortable and unsure of what to say, so I continued talking.

"Jungkook, I know it might not make you feel any better about what he'll go through, but Taehyung made a wish himself. Apparently, we can help each other, and that's why my wish was granted. Me being here is going to help Tae's wish come true, if I understand correctly."

"Tae made a wish?"

I nodded. "He wants to be someone's reason for not giving up. He want's to know he's made a difference in someone's life. That's his wish. Apparently, he's wished it more than once."

Jungkook suddenly looked ashamed.

"It's because of his friend that he lost, isn't it. I remember him crying, and saying that if he'd just been there more, made time for him, maybe he could have helped him."

"I think that's a very big part of it."

"So...is he your reason for not giving up?"

I smiled, thinking about how much better everything seemed to get after I learned of the existence of BTS, and of Kim Taehyung.

"He is, but not in the way you may be thinking. I wasn't thinking of giving up on life, not in the literal sense. I'd just had enough, and I didn't care anymore. I didn't care about myself. I was just existing. I wasn't happy. Life had just become a boring routine. It was hard to care about anything."

I remembered feeling a spark of happiness the day Sadie had played 'Save Me', and not really understanding what caused it, only knowing I wanted to listen to it again, because it was the first time in a long time that I felt happy.

"You all have helped me in ways I can't even begin to explain. I'm not saying everything just magically got better. But I realized suddenly I was happy, and I realized that most of those things I was letting get to me didn't bother me as much anymore, not when I had you guys in my life. I was inspired to be a better person, to take better care of myself, and do what makes me happy. I was working on it, and it made a difference."

He looked thoughtful, like he was considering my words.

"Taehyung, well, he had me right from the start. I couldn't tell you what it was about him, but he always brought the biggest smile to my face, and my heart just felt so full of love for him. It was kinda scarey, the way I felt, but it felt so nice that I decided to just accept it. I didn't see any reason to deny my attraction to him, or pretend that he didn't make my heart pound, because after all, he was countries away, and what was it hurting for me to fantasize about him."

Jungkook smiled, a cute crooked smile, and shook his head a little.

"I guess that's why I started wishing to be younger. I knew I was way to old to be feeling the way I did. I know it probably sounds strange to you, or maybe even creepy, and I'm sorry if it makes you cringe.  "

"No, actually, I think it's sweet."

I smiled at him, trying to decide if I believed him.

"You think I'm joking, don't you?" He quirked an eyebrow at me.

"I don't know...are you?"

He shook his head. "Not at all. I think noona's are cool." He said, a smile lighting up his face.

I was glad he was smiling .

"Tae doesn't know that I know of his wish, Kookie. I don't want him to know, so don't say anything."

"I won't. But I still think he's going to be devastated over losing you."

"I'm going to be devastated over losing him...I hate the thought of it. But we both know we can't change it. He's accepted it. If he's meant to remember my name at some point, he will. If not, then he won't. That's just the way it is. But hopefully, there will come a point when he will realize that he has made more of a difference in my life than anyone else ever has, that because of him, I'm living again. I'm happy. I smile every single day. I can't live without him, and even if I have to love him from a distance, I will always, always love him."

My eyes shined with tears, and he took the couple steps between us and embraced me, giving me a much needed hug.

"I'm sorry I've been acting like such a child," he said as he released me, stepping back.

"You haven't. Not wanting to see one of your closest friends get hurt isn't acting like a child at all. I'm sure Taehyung understands why you've been acting the way you have."

He looked around the room, his hand coming up, his index finger resting along his top lip.

"I don't know if I can stay strong enough to be there for him. I want to, but this is killing me, and I just don't know if I can."

I drew my brows together, not sure what he meant.

"He was so damn happy. I could see it. I thought he was finally going to be able to leave all the sadness behind, and just smile for once. I thought he was finally getting what he deserved, instead of all the bullshit he always seemed to have to deal with. But of course, that's not it. He's still going to lose in the end, and I don't know if I can watch him go through another heartbreak."

His eyes were glassy, and I had no idea what to say, so I said the only thing that seemed appropriate.

"I'm sorry."

It seems my selfish wish was going to affect more than just Taehyung. It would quite possibly affect all of them in one way or another, because they were so close. I was slowly becoming aware of just how close, when I realized that one of them feeling pain literally was painful for all of them. For that, I truly did feel regret for what I'd done.