I grabbed a pillow and the blanket off my bed, and went to the couch, curling up in the corner. I was just going to sit here, and try to figure out what I would say to him when I got there 5 hours from now.

~♡~

I had dozed off, my alarm scaring the bejesus out of me when it went off at five minutes to five. I threw the blanket off me, stretching my stiff muscles, wishing that I had laid down instead of curling up in the corner like I did.

Oh God, it was time. I was going in to work early to try and talk to Taehyung. Yet I still had no idea what I was going to say, or if he would listen to me.

But I was dressed, and pretty much ready to go, so there was that. I stood, straightening my clothes, and telling myself to stay calm, and breathe.

I put my sneakers on, then found my hair tie and pulled my hair into a bun. Okay, it was 4:59. Time to go.

I hesitated by the door, taking a few deep breaths. Then I opened it, pulling it closed behind me, and walking to the elevator. Once I was in the tiny lobby on the ground floor, I hesitated again, feeling a bit nauseous.

I swallowed the bile threatening to rise, and pushed my way out the door, making my way the short distance to the building I currently work at. I pushed the door opened, expecting to see someone, since the doors had just been unlocked, but there was no one. I was glad.

I walked to the elevators, and pushed the button, the doors immediately opening. I stepped on, pushing the 9, and watching the doors slide closed in front of me. I laughed as I found myself wishing maybe the elevator would get stuck between here and the 9th floor. But I've learned I should be careful what I wish for.

Once at the 9th floor, I stepped off, pulling my card out of my pocket, and walking to the door that would lead me into the main room. I swiped it, pulling the door opened, and holding it so that it would close quietly behind me.

Taehyung was supposed to be in the hair and make up room. I made my way to the door, turning the handle carefully, and pulling the door opened, once again closing it quietly behind me.

The only light in the room was a muted florescent lamp on Mi Ok's work surface, but it was bright enough to see around the room, only the corners of the small room appearing dark.

I leaned against the door for a minute, trying, without success, to calm my racing heart. But I was here, I'd made it this far. Truth be told, I did want to talk to him.

I pushed off the door, and turned to go back to my area, my breath catching as I caught sight of him. He was sitting in the salon chair, reclined half way, his arms  crossed over his chest, rising and falling slightly with each breath he took, his feet on the small foot rest, knees spread wide, sound asleep.

Seeing him there had initially caused my heart to race even faster, but once I noticed how relaxed he was, and realized how stunningly gorgeous he looked in sleep, my heart actually calmed.

I stared at him, entranced by just how beautiful he really was. Pictures didn't even come close to doing him justice. His face was perfect, every feature complimenting the rest. I found myself wondering if God had ever created anyone else as beautiful as this man was.

I hated to wake him, but I knew I should, for a couple reasons. The first being that I needed to try to fix things with him before the day started and everyone else got here, but also because I imagined he was probably going to be pretty stiff after spending the night in this chair, and he had an important performance coming up later today.

I looked at him for another minute, wanting the memory of how he looked right now to stay with me forever. I smiled, thankful for this, even if things didn't seem to be working out the way I'd have wished for them to.

I reached my hand out, touching his shoulder lightly. "Taehyung, wake up..." I said quietly, not wanting to startle him. There was no response, so I shook his shoulder a bit, hoping he wasn't going to be difficult to awaken, or possibly wake up swinging.

"Tae, wake up, you shouldn't be sleeping in a chair." I shook him a bit harder, and I heard him groan in discomfort, his adams apple bobbing as he swallowed, his eyes fluttering opened.

He glanced at me in confusion, and I watched him as he took note of his surroundings, his eyes scanning around the room. He inhaled thru his nose, his hand coming up to fist and cover his mouth as he yawned and exhaled at the same time.

He looked at me, his expression guarded.

"What time is it?"

At least he was speaking to me.

"It's just after 5am."

He narrowed his eyes at me.

"How did you know I was here?" 

I looked at the floor, and took a breath. "I...was told I'd find you here."

"Right." He nodded. "Of course."

I backed away some, not liking the tension I could feel between us.

"Tae...I don't know what to say to you anymore. To be honest, I wish I'd never made this wish in the first place. If I'd known it was going to turn out like this, I never would have."

He looked up at me, and when our eyes connected, I could see so many questions that I wondered if he'd ever ask.

"I know it was extremely selfish of me to wish for what I did, and I am so sorry. But I can't change it now. I've tried."

A tear rolled down my cheek, and I wiped it away, looking down, needing to break eye contact.

"I just wanted some happiness, a reason to smile. You had been my reason to smile everyday since I'd come to know of your existence. But I didn't think of you when I made my wish, I only thought of myself, and what I wanted."

I met his gaze again, hoping for just a tiny bit of understanding.  

"I don't know when I let the loneliness take over, and I never meant to, it was one of those things that I realized only after it had already happened. But finding BTS made the loneliness better, because even though I'd never really met any of you, and never expected to, I always felt like I was with my best friends whenever I closed myself in my room, and had my posters around me, and my music playing. It was comforting."

His expression seemed to soften a little, and it gave me hope that maybe he could forgive me for wishing myself into his life against his will.

"Finding you, specifically, made everything better. You caused so many emotions to surface, just by being you. You've made me laugh, and also cry, sometimes in happiness, other times in sadness, but I always end up smiling after watching you, or listening to you. You make my heart feel light, and the loneliness went away completely with you, I always felt better."

He closed his eyes, staying like that, and I'd have given anything to know what he was thinking.

"I hope you can forgive me, but if not, then the most I can hope for is that I haven't ruined your perception of army, and that you always know how much you are loved.  Your heart is so pure, and you are so unassuming, which makes everyone love you even more."

He opened his eyes, looking into mine. I saw no anger, and that made the tightness in my chest ease a bit. At least if he wasn't angry with me, my remaining time here might be a little less awkward.

"I understand that everything I've told you is...the kind of stuff people make up, or that you read about in stories, and I still haven't totally given up on the thought that this may all just be a crazy dream that I'm going to wake up from soon. At this point, I'd actually prefer that, because I hate knowing that something I did, however foolishly, will cause you pain of any kind."

I had to look away again, his eyes flashing something I couldn't figure out. As long as he didn't hate me, and we could get thru the next 26 days on speaking terms, I could get thru this.

"I will apologize every day, so that you know how sorry I am. Trust me, I know why you don't believe me, if I were you, I wouldn't believe me either. I didn't have to tell you. It was my choice. I could have just carried on the way I had been, enjoying every magical second I was able to spend with you, and when my time ended, I would have just...disappeared from your life."

I wanted to look at him, to try to get an idea of what he was thinking, but I didn't. I was afraid to.

"But not telling you became impossible, once I found out that you had feelings for me. As unbelievable as that was for me, it was also painfully unfair, because it was everything I could have ever wanted, yet, it would never have a chance to develop into something real for me. But more importantly, it was unfair because if your feelings grew, and then one day I was just gone, with no explanation..." I shook my head at the thought, "I just couldn't do that to you."

I finally gained the courage to look at him, meeting his eyes, and seeing sadness. He leaned forward, getting up from the chair, and more than anything I wanted to hug him. But there was to much space between us for me to do that without taking a step or two, and I was afraid to make the first move to do so.

"I can accept that you don't believe me, just please, don't hate me." I whispered, knowing that I couldn't live with myself if I thought for even a second that he hated me.

He took a step, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close to him, and I melted into his embrace, my worries slipping away momentarily.

I felt his nose nuzzle into my hair, his lips pressing against my head in a kiss, and I had never felt such relief. The tears welled up in my eyes, and silently started to fall, and my arms went around him, my hands folding into the back of his hoodie, hanging on for dear life.

"I don't hate you," he said quietly. "I hate what's happening. I hate that I believe you. I hate that I'm going to lose you, and there's nothing I can do about it.  But I could never hate you."

I buried my face into his chest, crying harder, my arms tightening around him. He believed me. I knew that was a good thing, but it made me cry, nonetheless. I let him hold me, wanting more than anything to just freeze time for awhile.

I finally pulled away, his arms loosening, his hands finding mine, folding around them warmly.

"Do you really believe me?" I didn't think he would say it if he didn't, but I still felt the need to ask, to make sure.

"I don't want to believe you," he said, his lips turning down slightly, "but I haven't been able to come up with a single reason why you would lie to me, or what you could gain by doing so."

"I'm so sorry that you didn't have a choice in this. I'm sorry that I made a wish without thinking of what the consequences would be, or of how it would affect you."

"Nobody thinks of what the consequences might be when they make a wish they don't expect to come true. You didn't do anything wrong, Delaney."

"I did though. It's not like I made the wish, and it just one day suddenly came true. I was being told that I could wish for anything I wanted. I knew that I would only get 30 days, and then everything would go right back to the way it was. I was being given every reason to believe that what I wished for was going to come true, and I chose to believe that I was just having a crazy dream."