Let's rewind to the time I wasn't in Hexside.. when I still had a broken leg. A time I felt so catastrophically in love with a girl I didn't know was okay to fall in love with.

A time where hours stood still, when days passed in years. When her eyes glowed like the gold they were, now faded dull.
A time I felt like everything else was meaningless.

...

Is this what it feels like to grow up and face reality?

Yes.

Now let's go back to the present, sitting at the table eating breakfast. I planned on going on a personal day trip to watissa just to get a change of scenery, nobody knew I was going to skip school.
So I quickly made my way to Hexside, walking to the farthest back corner before flying to watissa, I sighed and landed on the stone path, quickly changed to regular street clothes in a bathroom before walking around the place. A few Emperors guards glare at my obvious adolescence before looking away, I continue to walk on, buying knickknacks and small things to eat. I was actually having.. fun.

It was about twelve twenty by the time I sat down with the lunch I'd bought, it was a type of seafood dish that just radiated the word 'YUM'.
Boy was it good too, I thanked the vendor before heading further down into watissa, buying a few notebooks, pencils and a package of pens.
Then I walked off my eyes looking around, my eyes caught two students I didn't think were capable of skipping classes, Darius and Alador, I turned around as they recognized me and walked off. I didn't want them to talk to me because Eda was a lot closer to them than I, my heart ached.
A hand grabbed my shoulder, I turned but looked away from Darius' eyes. He gets a small abomination to lift up my head, worry etching his face. I tried to keep my eyes still but they wavered and glossed up, Alador's skin gets shivers as he goes to speak, nothing comes out of his mouth. I pull off the abomination and look down again, wanting to hide my tears. "This is because of Eda... isn't it?" Darius asks, I scoff and wipe away my tears "I don't know what you're talking about... Ugh- I'm going home.."
I then walk off before getting on Prince and flying through the sky, Prince's staff form dropped a little midair as I sniffed, he regained a steady flight pattern.

I sat on the roof for a while until it was time to go home (from school) only to see Dell and Gwen standing with arms crossed, I looked down and just simply hid under my blankets.
The air went silent, my bedroom door closing as they exit.

"Something is wrong dear.. she never skips school." Dell clears his throat before murmuring something.

That night I snuck into Eda's room and got the portal, going to my room to open it. As soon as I was on the other side the portal snapped closed, disappearing in thin air.
I took my house key and walked inside my house, walked past mamá who was very awake and up to my old room. I sat on the bed and looked out the window.

❌

Times like this I wish nothing had happened.. I wish I'd never broken my leg, I wish my heart wasn't stolen by a girl who.. who..

Ugh. Nothing.

It was useless to think it.

❌

My door opened, revealing mamá. She paused in the doorway before sitting at the corner of the bed, I looked back out the window, my eyes looked at the pitch black darkness of the woods.
After a long hour of just staring mamá stands up and walks out, mumbling in Spanish how she was worried. I stood up and quickly approached the window as a howl filled the air, running top speed down the stairs I quickly tell mom to stay inside before running into the woods.
The portal glows bright yellow as Eda's beast searches for a scent in a panic, Gwen desperately trying to get her daughter to settle.

The owl beast looks at me, black lines staining the feathers on her cheeks. The owl beast quickly ran to me but I held out my hand, saying near silently "settle down." Her eyes snapped open wide, looking at my tired expression. I walked through the portal with a sigh, Eda's owl beast looking at me confused.. the beast doesn't know that me and Eda are distant.
Her feathered head tucks under my arm, cooing hoots of confusion. I frown, getting the beast to drink the elixir. I sat on my bed and looked away as Eda reformed back to a witch, I heard footsteps walk out before my door closes.

   
I took the potion Dell gave me in the morning, he told me it would settle my nerves enough that I could think.
And well.. it did.
I often disliked potions but god did I need one. I drunk it down much like a drunk chugging beer, sighing heavily before the potion takes effect, I look at him with a kind smile before thanking him. Then I head out to Hexside I walked this time, knowing Eda would be flying. As much as the potion did work, I was still upset about Eda ghosting me for something so small it was stupid.

Darius approached me in the hall but I just sighed and looked away, he patted my shoulder before exiting swiftly with a grumble.
A few moment later someone bulky is shoved onto me, I jerk my body around to look at Eda who is embarrassed then scowls silently. My face fades from irritation to saddened with glossy eyes, she freezes, going to cup my cheeks until I mumble "don't touch me."
She pauses before resuming what she planned on doing, as soon as her skin touched mine I irritably yelled out "don't touch me! Don't you dare pretend to care about me now after ignoring me, scoffing at me for being excited or insulting me because I got ONE good grade over you!"
I huff harshly, catching my breath. "Who do you think I am?! Some random girl who wished upon a damn star that a witch would heal my broken leg? No!-" Eda's face goes red, my anger boiled as her curse threatened to peek out.
"What happened to you? I don't even know why I'm here anymore." Eda throws up her arms, yelling out bitterly "I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE EITHER!- You don't belong here!" I looked at her with wide eyes, scoffing before walking to the entrance.

She looks over at me, asking irritably "where are you going?" I shake my head "home." As I reach the twin doors Eda says matter-of-factly "but schools still going-" turning around I say with a distraught smile and tear stained cheeks, "not in the human world- god I should have stayed there when I went there last night." Her eyes widen in panic but I walk off, getting on Prince to go to the Emperors castle rather than the Clawthorne house. But something catches my eye.. Raine.. struggling with a textbook? I fly down and get off my staff next to them, they look up with a pleading look. I see it's potion making.. I can help with that.
They frown as the gold liquid explodes in their face, kneeling down with soft, faint laughter I take the cauldron from them.

They look at me with curiosity, both of us saying nothing at all. I shugged before reading line after line in the textbook, finding out that the explosion was created by the firebee honey not getting it's frost beetle counter ingredient quickly enough. Raine laughs as if telling themself that they were stupid, silently thanking me with their eyes.
I lean my head down and chuckle, smiling for once. "I don't know why Eda hates you... the two of you were so.. close. Now she's constantly jealous of you." Raine finally says, I look at them before looking at the trees. "Doesn't bother me."

They cock their head curiously, adjusting their glasses. "Are you sure? You have a glint in your eyes that says otherwi-"
"Yes I'm fine!" I interrupted in a yell, immediately closing my mouth and letting the bottled up tears fall, shaking my head no in response to my own response. They frowned before pulling me into a hug, I sniffled little whines and whimpers as the tears burned my cheeks. Rubbing my face into the cowl of their uniform to wipe the tears away, their hand rubs my back in gentle, reassuring circles. "She'll come back.. it's okay. I promise." A few people sit on the grass, I turn my head to see Odalia, Alador and Darius with the aftereffects of annoyance. Odalia grabs her necklace and looks at the crystal, studying it, everyone looks at her expectantly "in time.. yes. Series of the current normality, conflict.. a moment of unbearable sadness, then stillness. Calm. Happy."

She then pushed her necklace back into her shirt, I looked at the ground "I don't know why you guys are hanging around me. I expected you to take Eda's side and bully me.
I get several answers at once, I first caught Raine "I don't like hurting people in any way." Then Darius, "I only would bully someone if they bullied you or anyone in our friend group." ..Odalia, "I'm irritated by her immaturity Camilla, everyone can see you're hurting by her insults yet she just continues just to spite you." And finally making it's turn to introvert Alador, "Camilla. We're still your friends even if Eda is having a... moment." He looks nervous to his reply, I look down and nod before chuckling.

But then I froze, tearing up. I bury my face in my shoulder cape, trying to hide my tears. "I was about to go home.. home. Before I saw Raine.. I just can't handle this.."
Odalia's eyes widen, shock deep within them. She cups my cheeks, making them illuminate in red, her black painted nails slightly digging into my cheeks. "Please don't leave Camilla! You're the one person who has made me realize I could be a better person.. you made me realize that everyone is worth it and beautiful in their own ways."

She goes to lift my tunic to reveal my scar but I rip the fabric down, immediately hit with pure fear. I didn't want her to acknowledge she knew. "That scar on your side doesn't change who you are.."
I looked to the side and hugged my legs close to me "how long?" I ask, she looks at me confused "how long.. have you known?.." she glances to Darius who looks down. "We knew you had it a week after you came here, we noticed you didn't like sports in gym and.. so when you stretched out your arms your shirt rose.. we saw the scar and knew why.."

I pulled my tunic further down, embarrassed tears pricking my eyes. "you.. don't like people to see it and you seem sad when you touch it.. why?" I swallowed down my heart, trying to look up only to fail, I breathed in deeply. "I once tried out for sports and cheerleading.. but the other girls told me I was imperfect, flawed physically.. I don't want to be bullied here.. I don't like to touch it because.."

My shaking hand wipes away my tears, my nose sniffing slightly. "Eda used to kiss it when I felt self conscious.. it's a permanent memory now that someone who once said I was hermosa, her love.. her life, as corny as that was. Said I didn't belong here."
I look up slightly and catch the tail of orange hair as the owner walks away from the corner to the front, setting my head on the wall I close my eyes. A small chirp appears, then Prince's head nuzzles my jaw. I look up to the approaching footsteps, principal Bump appearing from the corner. "You five should be in class.." he warns slowly, standing up I wipe the snot from my nose, mumbling, "okay.." and walk to the front door. I pull the hood of my cowl over my head as I walk in, feeling like everyone had the same opinion as Eda. I felt so suddenly aware that I was the only human here, like the world was far too big and I was the only sore thumb sticking out. I sat at my desk in potions class, immediately pulling out my notebook to distract myself.
I looked towards the window as Eda sat down with a heavy sigh, my eyes glancing to the few classes of students who had sparring day.. lucky. Odalia was in one of the classes, using a spiritual form to block an oncoming attack from another student in the bard coven.

     
A few weeks passed since that day.. I was.. nonetheless frazzled.
My attention however did not go to Eda anymore but was more paid attention to my currently failing grades, I took breaks when I felt like I needed one but was on task most of the time.

I was walking out of class and pretty much trying to focus on on stepping on anyone's heels, my ears tuned into Raine's voice "Eda?.. why do hate Camilla? She is really nice and does her best to put on a smile in most situations.. she even helps me with my homework even if i tell her it's okay." Eda scoffs, her footsteps falling faster on the linoleum.
"Eda- don't ignore me please!" They began to jog to keep up with Eda, eyes wide as they looked up at Eda. "Tell me the truth!" They demanded, grabbing Eda's arm, she threw her hands up "BECAUSE SHE'S WEAK! she's not a witch! Those gloves she wears were a gift from the Emperor because she COULDN'T do magic! I only tolerate her enough because she lives in my house! If she didn't I could only imagine how I'd treat her!"

She scoffs harshly, saying in a growl "her coming here was the hugest mistake this realm had ever had happen to it.."
Raine begins to worriedly slap Eda's arm as they see me standing stiff as a board, eyes looking up at Eda's face.

So that's it? That's all I was to her? Someone she tolerated because I was new to such a strange place?

Did she ever even love me?...

Were all those 'I love you' s.. even genuine?

Before she could say anything to Raine I ran past the two of them, slamming into Eda's side in the action from standing still to complete sprinting. I could hear her say in an immediate panic "oh gods, what did I even say?!" Before yelling to me "wait please Camilla!"