A/N: Thanks for your patience. It's a bit on the shorter side, but I didn't want to go on and on and start having tangents for this scene. Hopefully, it does it justice. Enjoy (or don't), either way, I love y'all <3

Chapter 63

Song: Unknown (To You) by Jacob Banks; Tribulation by Matt Maeson (Ft. Verite); Just Asking by Aquilo; Arcade by Duncan Laurence

(Lots of other songs were needed for this scene, but these hit the hardest) <3

Vince's POV

"I just..." I trailed, running a hand through my hair. "I did...do want this. But-"

Simon frowned. "Then was it what Sarah said? Or the council? Or me? Is that what's bothering you?"

I shook my head. "No, it's just that-"

"We don't have to do those things they said," he exclaimed. "I don't have to be your luna, or have the mark, or adopt, or whatever. You said you wanted this, though. Us, right? Just talk to me. Goddess, you've been acting like a fortress to talk to. I'm right here, Vince. Just tell me."

"I...it's just I've been thinking," I sighed, watching as he rolled his eyes. "I just can't-

He crossed his arms as he looked unamused. "What? You can't what?"

"You. You don't need me," I said, coming off more like a question. "And...and I don't need you."

He huffed. I bit the inside of my cheeks as he narrowed his eyes. "Is that what you think?"

"I can't give you the things you need, Simon," I explained. "You need more, you need the kind of love you deserve."

He blinked, his jaw clenching. He curled his fingers into a fist.

"Someone who knows how to love you." I went on. "And...and I don't think I can be that person."

He shook his head slightly. "If you would just try, Vince-"

"No. This," I stated, gesturing between us. "This can't be...I can't possibly give you that."

"You are a coward. Terrified to get what you want, to chase after what it is that you want, you know that?" He seethed, his voice raised in volume. "You said you wanted this, so why? Why must you keep lying to yourself? To me?"

I huffed. "A lie? I want you to be happy, Simon. I want what's best for you."

"And you think this is it?" He gestured between us. "Pushing me away? Lying to me?

"I just..just wanted to get it right. All I do is fuck it up, ruin the things that were supposed to matter most. I wanted to get this right, Simon. At the very least, this. Us. But I...I-"

"Then what?" He jeered. "You're going to give up? You think that this isn't right anymore?"

I blinked, unsure what to say as he placed his hand on his forehead. "Vince, where is this coming from?"

"I don't think I can be the person to love you," I mumbled pathetically. I took a shaky breath. "I mean honestly, Simon, why couldn't you just hate me? That you don't need me, or that you don't care at all?"

I bit my lip, my eyes filled with unshed tears, as I continued. "Things would've been easier that way."

"Is that it?" He scoffed. "You want me to hate you? To pretend that all this progress we made was for nothing? Is that what you want? To think that you're some terrible person who doesn't have a damn chance at obtaining a modicum of happiness?"

"Simon, please-"

"No. Is that what you want?" He spat before breathing heavily. He shook his head glaring at me with unshed tears in his eyes. "To throw it all away. For me to leave again. To leave...this behind, to walk out of this pack again?"

No, I don't want you to leave, but...

"Vince, answer me." I wasn't sure if it was my fears or his, but it was suffocating. "Tell me the truth, Vince. Is that what you want?"

...If it means you're happier, then yes.

The tears streamed down his face and it took everything in me to not fall apart along with him. His happiness, I told myself. He deserved that much. He deserved happiness. He needed that.

"Yes," I breathed, as warm tears rolled down my cheeks. "Yes, I want you to go."

There was a pause, a shift in his expression. From shock to disbelief, to anger.

"Ridiculous," he finally uttered before storming toward his bag on the floor. Fear washed over me as my wolf whined, propelling me further as I gripped his hand in mine.

It was cold.

I gasped, the lack of warmth sent a shiver down my spine. I gulped as he sneered at me. Just like that, I could feel everything start to shatter right in front of me. Why was his hand so cold? This wasn't right, no.

"Let go," he scowled, pulling his hand away from mine. He took a few steps toward his bag, and I could feel my heart pounding against my chest, my wolf begging me to do something.

"Wait," I blurted.

He stopped right in front of his bag before snarling, "what?"

"Reject me." He didn't move at first. I wasn't sure he had heard me, but he turned around, with an unreadable expression. I stared into his brown eyes, turning colder and colder as he looked at me with an intensity I had never seen from him. "If you're leaving, then reject me, Simon."

He stared incredulously for a moment longer before slowly shaking his head. "No, I'm not doing that to you. You don't deserve that."

"But I did that to you, and more. It's the least you could do."

"No." He frowned, my breaths becoming more and more labored. "If you're going to deprive me of what I actually want, then I don't think I owe you the rejection you say you want. And I would never wish that kind of pain on anyone. Not even you."

"Please, Simon."

He shook his head. "I'm sick and tired of these pathetic lies, Vince. I thought I could just deal with it, but not when you keep lying to yourself. It hurts me knowing that you'd rather lie and punish yourself like they want you to be, even when I told you that I don't care what they have to say. I just wanted you here, and I thought you wanted the same. Maybe you lied about that too, what is even true with you anymore."

"Was it a lie then?" I breathed, not even bothering to try and swat the tears away. "When you said you'd stay?"

"What?"

"You promised you'd stay."

He chuffed. "Seriously? Why should I when you're the very one pushing me away."

"Simon-"

"No. You're right," he exclaimed, flinging his arm out. "I deserve someone who will make me happy, who knows how to love. Someone who knows what they want, what I want, and how to make us both happy."

I took a step closer, but he stepped back. It had been so instinctual, like the way he did when he first came back. There was a lump in my throat as I watched him stare at me with a defeated look in his eye.

"Not someone who's willing to give up so easily. Or let his thoughts and fears override everything you could have possibly wanted," he went on, sniffling a bit before continuing firmly. "Not someone who would rather lie and refuse to see the truth in front of us. And...and not someone who would strip their mate of happiness over and over again. I don't deserve that."

I watched frozen in place as he stalked over to the couch, gripping his bag tightly in his hand before turning to look back at me, presumably for the last time. "I hope this makes you happy, Vince."

And with that, he marched to the door. Each step away was a piece of me shattering. I couldn't speak, couldn't breathe, I wasn't sure my heart had even been beating. He paused at the door frame, and for a split second, I wondered if there was even the smallest of chances at rescinding all that I said. Despite how miniscule of a chance, I hoped he'd turn around, to see that I hadn't meant it. That I didn't want him to leave, that I wanted to be selfish for a bit longer, and have him by my side.

But he walked out the door, and I could feel it breaking. I let out a silent scream, the room blurring from the tears. I tried to steady my breathing but gave up, biting my bottom lip till it bled.

What had I done?

It was a mistake. Another big mistake. I didn't like this feeling. Didn't like what was happening. I wanted him here. So why had I pushed him away? Why had I let him go?

But I knew the answer. I was a coward, just as he said. A liar.

But he deserved better than that. He needed that, wanted better. Wasn't it better this way? Free of all my lies, my fears, and anxieties, from all the pain? Free to find someone better?

I don't know how long I stared at the spot his bag had laid. My eyes shifted between that spot at the door frame, letting the argument repeat over in my head, wanting so desperately to just go back and end that stupid fight. There were so many ways I could've stopped him, prevented him from leaving. So many ways I could've gotten it right for once. I could've been honest, could've told him that leaving would ruin me. I could've told him the apprehension I had, the expectations everyone had that put me on edge. I could've done something, so why had I done nothing?

Why did I ruin everything?

I wanted to be angry, I should've been angry. At myself, and at how I had been this entire time. But I was numb, detached, and I wasn't sure what to do. Cry, rage, it didn't matter what I did. I had messed up another thing, and there was no one else to blame besides myself.

I knew it was Xavier by the sound of his footsteps. It was heavier this time, thunderous, and quick as I heard him come up the stairs and down the hall.

"Vince," Xavier exclaimed, running into the room. Out of breath, he looked at me with a perturbed look. "Vince, why is Simon-what is going on? He had his bag and...and-just tell me what's happening."

I gulped. "He's leaving."

"No...you can't be serious," Xavier muttered. His breaths came out in short gasps as he shook his head in disbelief. "Vince...what have you done?"

I turned away, unable to meet his prying eyes. "I...I set him free."

"Wha-" He let out a shaky breath, before mumbling under his breath, "no. No, you didn't-"

"Xav."

"No," he muttered over and over again. "Why...why?"

What was I supposed to say to him?

He scoffed, letting out an incredulous laugh. I watched as his feet shifted and he turned to leave. I couldn't face him, don't think I could face him and see the disappointment on his face.

I heard the shuffle of his feet as he turned back towards the door. I asked, "where are you going?"

"I won't just let you stand there and ruin the one good thing in your life," he said firmly before turning on his heel to walk out the door. The footsteps faded just as I felt my hands shake. The air thickened as the sheer gravity of what I had done was slowly creeping in and pressing down on me.

"It's too late," I muttered, but Xavier had already been out of earshot, the cold feeling in my chest becoming unbearably painful. "I already have. Sixteen years ago."