A/N: I wish I could say the big 5-O chapter was a monumental piece in this story's plot, but it is not lol. It's more of a build-up to the great planning I have for the next chapter which I'm super excited about. I barely finished this chapter on time, as my fellow discord peeps have seen. If you're interested in joining, dm so I can add you, since the link was giving me issues last chapter. We have lots of fun, and I tend to spoil this book to people who haven't read it lol. And I love a good trivia partner, hehe. Anyways enjoy wholesome Xavier time <3 And let me know what you think. Comments, votes, and follows are well appreciated. Love y'all!

Chapter 50

Simon's POV

To no surprise, Vince wasn't there when I woke up, my hand loosely draped on his side of the bed that had gone cold. It was always two steps forward, one step back with Vince.

Although expected, it still left a bitter feeling in my chest. Since I've been here, it was this constant come and go with him. Some days, like yesterday, felt like we made some headway, others it just felt we were starting back at the beginning again.

And with how things were going, I should've guessed things would go backward.

But whatever he was thinking about that prevented him from moving forward, I would be there for him to take those three, four, five, even twenty steps forward if he needed it. I didn't come here after everything that's happened, just to see him belittle himself and ruin his own esteem over pesky things. Progress was possible. It had happened yesterday, no matter how little he made it sound, he had opened up. It had been the most vulnerable I had seen him, the most vulnerable he let himself be around me. And that was something, no matter what he said.

I laid in bed for a bit longer, staring at the blank walls in front of me as I stretched my limbs, letting my mind wander to last night. Focusing my eyes on my outstretched hand, clenching and unclenching it, remembering the way Vince's hand felt in my own. Then I thought about us in the hospital, when we were visiting his mother. He had been so insistent on keeping my hand in his, and then, he had said those words, he's my mate. Just hearing it in his voice made me feel that we were really getting somewhere finally. He had never admitted it before, hadn't said it aloud in front of me. In the past, he had denied it, and sixteen years ago he had called me a liar.

And when he had told his mother that he'd take care of me, protect me, it was like a breakthrough. Even if it had been a lie, it had sounded convincing enough for me. I clenched my hand in the sheets in front of me.

I was still here, but where were you?

I got ready in silence, putting my nightclothes next to the duffel, one I probably should have unpacked a while ago. I had put it off, and it felt weird like I was already encroaching on his space. That feeling hadn't left, even after how many weeks it's been.

I sighed, patting the bag as if it'd do anything.

Then a knock at the door, followed by Xavier's voice. "What's the sigh about?"

I turned to see him failing to hide a box behind his back. I grinned, pointing at the box. "What's that about?

"Oh, this?" He seemed to blush in embarrassment. He presented the box before struggling with the lid. "I decided to make cookies. They probably aren't the best, but I'm determined to master it if it's the last thing I do."

I chuckled. "I'm sure they're fine. Could I try?"

"Why would I flaunt these in front of you if I was going to keep them all to myself?"

I took one, looking at it in a comically harsh way before taking a bite. I chewed, and chewed, and chewed.

He looked worried, lowering the box as I chewed. "That bad?"

"No," I reassured, and meant it. "Chewy, but the flavor is good."

"Really?"

"You've improved," I said. "Hopefully the kitchen isn't that messy."

He let out a nervous laugh. "It's not that bad."

"So," I drawled out. "You came here just to greet me with cookies at seven in the morning?"

"Well, that, and I had a little surprise for today," he replied. "Let's go."

In a blink of an eye, Xavier had set the box of cookies down and was dragging me out of the room by my hand. "Wait-where?"

"Come on," he said with a smile. "I think you'll love it."

Xavier wouldn't tell me where we were headed, but about halfway there, memories from nearly two decades ago made me figure it out. "The orphanage?"

He turned around, slowing our pace as he grinned. "You used to love volunteering here. They've upgraded the place."

As we approached the place, I almost didn't believe it. It had probably doubled in size, the building looked completely different. If it hadn't been for the same hand-painted sign in front of the yard, I would've thought it was somebody's mansion of a house.

"It's beautiful," I found myself saying. Through the windows, I could see some of the kids talking amongst each other, a few of the workers holding smaller infants. As much as my younger siblings had caused me stress growing up, my love of children had stemmed from them and this very place.

It was where my mom had met Stephen, a miracle baby they had called him. He had all the odds stacked against him during his mother's pregnancy, but she had carried on. The birth father had died in a rogue attack, and with a broken bond, his mother was determined more than ever to pull through, to keep the last piece of him alive. She hadn't made it, but my mother had fallen in love with her story and was determined to help their child.

And like my mother, I had fallen in love with every single kid I met here. They were braver and far stronger than some of the people in the pack we looked up to. Despite the kids not having their parents, they were always so positive, always willing to see and appreciate things graciously. Even the older kids who were struggling emotionally with the loss of their parents had been some of the strongest people I've met. Back then, I had always felt a bit guilty volunteering, when at the end of the day, I'd come back home to my family, and those kids didn't have a place to call home. All they knew was the orphanage. And now that I could relate to some of them, being here just felt like it made sense. Like I could go there with my head held high and tell them that they were far stronger than the rest of us. That no matter what they've been through, things would be okay, even if it hurt for right now.

As we walked up the steps, two workers stepped out, opening the door and shouting greetings before we could even knock. One had a child on their shoulder, while the other worker had a child wrapped around his leg.

"Xavier!" The older lady said with much enthusiasm. "There's my sweetheart, I was beginning to worry you forgot about us old lads."

The man stepped forward, patting Xavier's shoulder. "Marianne, he wouldn't dare forget about us. My boy's here every week, right on time."

"Marianne, Bernard," Xavier greeted, before giving the two kids attached to them a gentle wave. "It's always lovely to see you too. This is Simon, I asked him to volunteer with me. Hope you don't mind."

"You know we're always happy to see volunteers. The kiddos would really appreciate the extra attention. Especially little Lilah and Jonah, wouldn't they?" Marianne smiled softly, looking up at the little girl hanging out on her shoulder. The little girl blushed, but Xavier reached over and poked her nose gently, and she giggled. Jonah pressed his face against Bernard's pants. They couldn't have been more than three years old. "They're our shyest ones, the poor darlings."

Bernard bent down to Jonah's height before ruffling his black hair. "Jonah, Lilah, go say hi to uncle Xavier."

Xavier and I both kneeled down as Marianne set Lilah down. The two held hands as they looked at us nervously. I wasn't sure if I should say anything, but Xavier smiled and extended his arms out. They hesitated before slowly walking into his arms and mumbled, "hi uncle."

It was the cutest, most jumbled I've ever heard a kid call someone uncle, and it was like back then, falling in love with every kid I saw there. Talking to them, playing games, even just watching them interact with each other. There was at one point that I had known every kid's name, and their story.

So together, we spent the morning playing with the kids, Xavier introducing me to all their names. Lilah and Jonah stuck around the staff we met earlier, but would often look at Xavier like they wanted him to carry him. It was fun seeing him all flustered, as multiple kids would want him to pick them up at the same time, a chorus of them shouting, "me, me, me!"

I never struck Xavier as a fan of children, but he looked so happy, as well as overwhelmed by all their silly demands. Some wanted him to feed them, others wanted to climb onto his shoulder, while others were trying to give him gifts of toys. He took it all in stride though, getting to each and every one of them. A few of them had approached me, but most of their attention had been on him. To them, I was a stranger, but to them, Xavier was like a celebrity.

I was enjoying myself just watching them when I felt Jonah and Lilah pull on my pants leg. Immediately I crouched down, looking at them with a small smile. Jonah was more skittish than Lilah, as he held onto her shirt, his other hand holding something in his clenched hand.

"Why, hello," I greeted, before pointing towards the other groups of kids who had tackled Xavier to the ground, some of them climbing on top of him. "Did you want to play?"

Jonah hid further into Lilah as she shook her head before she held out a toy block, an oversized plastic one. I took it in my hands, before saying softly, "is this for me?"

She nodded before nudging Jonah, who very sheepishly held out his clenched hand. I waited patiently before he opened his hand to reveal a small yellow flower.

"Is this for me, Jonah?" He nodded, so I took it into my hand. "Thank you. Thank you, Lilah. Would you like to play blocks?"

I gestured to the blue building block, and she nodded. We played for about ten minutes, just the three of us, and we topped the tower of other blocks with Jonah's little flower. Some of the works turned to gawk, apparently amazed that the two sheepish ones were playing.

It was getting close to nap time when Xavier could finally get a break from all the kids. He sipped on one of the kid's milk you'd get at school before gesturing to Jonah and Lilah who were getting ready for nap time. "They really liked you. Even the workers have a hard time getting them to play."

I shrugged. "The others seemed to be obsessed with you."

"They just think I'm a playground to climb on," he joked before looking at me. "I'm serious. Jonah and Lilah never warmed up to me after how many times I've seen them. The fact that Jonah gave you a gift is a miracle."

"What's their story?"

"Rogue attack. Maybe a year ago. Their parents were deltas. It's been rough for them, they didn't have any grandparents and their uncles and aunts are from different packs."

I frowned, knowing that a lot of the pups here had similar stories. Some more forgiving than others. Others had lived their entire lives here, a handful had only lived here a week before being adopted out. But the energy here seemed more vibrant than back then. For the most part, the kids were happy, even the older ones. Of course, there are always more reserved ones, but this place really has gotten better, and it appeared Xavier had a large part in that.

I finished my own carton of milk before asking. "Did you ever want kids?"

He hummed, before fiddling with an empty carton in his hands. "Honestly, it didn't cross my mind for years. I never felt obligated to, being the third in line. I figured I'd never be an alpha, so I wouldn't have to provide an heir. That and I was more focused on finding my mate at first, so kids weren't something I thought of. Then after a while, I started working here, it was shortly after mom was deteriorating. She had loved this place, so I thought if I came here in her stead, I could tell her how things were going. Keep her memory alive for as long as possible."

I let him take his time as he stared at the kids settling down. He set the carton down. "Then I fell in love with this place too. And I felt for these kids, you know? And there was at one point that I told myself whether I found my mate or not, I wanted to help at least one kid. At least give them a life they deserved. I was one of the lucky ones. Even though dad died, and mom was dying, I still got to live a pretty decent life before that."

"You'd be a great dad," I told him. He smiled.

"You would too, Simon."

"I wanted to adopt too," I told him. "After we adopted Stephen."

Silence fell between us for a few moments before I asked, "Did Vince ever want kids?"

Xavier hummed as he stared at another milk carton he opened. "He tried, with Sarah."

He took a sip before continuing, "didn't work out. But I'm not sure if he ever really wanted one. I mean an heir was expected for an alpha, but that doesn't mean he wanted or didn't want one."

I let the subject drop, my curiosity leading into more silence.

Xavier finished the milk before watching a few of the kids wanting to run away from naptime. He chuckled to himself at the sight, before asking, "how was it after you two left? After the hospital visit? He wasn't there this morning."

"It was-" I paused, thinking about how he had turned away after what I said. "Okay, but it could have gone better."

"He surprised me yesterday."

I scoffed, before telling Xavier openly, "me too. Last night he told me about the fight, with your mother. I thought we were getting somewhere, and then he pulled away again."

He frowned. "He's...an eccentric one. I still don't understand him sometimes either."

It was like the arguments we'd had earlier or the silly things he'd say. And then there was that whole suspicion against Michael. I had wanted to understand, but he was still so closed off. The only semblance of vulnerability was from last night, which got immediately shut down.

"Do you trust Michael?" I blurted out.

Xavier tilted his head in that confused manner he'd often do like a puppy. "What do you mean? He's my brother."

I shook my head. "I don't know, Vince said something about him the other day, about not trusting him. I was wondering if you felt the same. Maybe it's stupid."

He hummed. "Well years ago when he said he wanted to kill you, I wasn't sure he was sane, but he seems to have forgotten about that."

"Maybe Vince is just paranoid," I shrugged. "He didn't really tell me why."

"I mean, Michael's treated you well," Xavier replied. "Surely he would've done something if he meant harm, right?"

"Yeah," I agreed. "I figured that. But Vince seemed upset every time I mentioned him or would tell me to stay away from him. Just wondered if you knew anything."

Xavier seemed to debate what to say. "Well, if Vince has his suspicions, it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye out. Best case scenario, he's just paranoid."

I nodded, hoping that that would be the case, after all, it wouldn't be the first time Vince had made a false accusation.

"I'll look into it," Xavier promised.

---

Unlike this morning, I was delighted to see that Vince hadn't holed himself up in the council room, slaving over the letters or the work he had piling up. Instead, he was laying in bed, his eyes staring at his phone in his hand, one pillow propping his head up awkwardly.

"You finished work?"

"No," he said curtly, not even looking away from the phone. "I'm taking a break like you said."

I let out a dramatic gasp. "I never thought I'd see the day."

Even behind the phone, I could see that he rolled his eyes. "I heard you were with Xavier."

"We visited the orphanage," I responded. I walked over to the bed, sitting down before fluffing the pillows. "I've never seen that many kids collectively want to tackle someone. You should've seen it."

He clenched his jaw before pausing the intense scrolling he was doing on his phone. "Sounds like you had fun."

I hummed before laying down towards him. He resumed his phone search, but my bad habit of curiosity struck again. "Whatchu reading?"

"Research," came his curt reply. The silence grew awkward, so much so that I pouted, wondering if he even noticed the weird faces I was making next to him. Instead, he continued scrolling before sighing. He placed his phone down. Finally, something.

"Well," I prolonged. "Visiting the orphanage gave me an idea."

He frowned but turned to glance at me. He didn't reply so I continued, "let's visit my home."

He blinked as if he didn't hear me, but I knew I said it clear enough, considering he was literally two feet away from me. His nostrils flared before giving me a concerned look. "What-"

"Hear me out," I interjected, giving a toothy grin. "Please."

He blinked, then looked away. "That's not a good idea."

"Oh, come on," I pouted. "I can't just keep running away from it. And I think I'm ready this time."

"Do you not remember what happened the last time you went there?" He raised his tone just a tad. "When I was there, nearby?"

"I know." I pursed my lips. "But I can handle it now."

"It was like a week ago."

I frowned before taking his hand in mine again. This time he didn't pull away, didn't even give it a glance, almost as if he had expected it.

"Look, you let me meet your mother, you shared those personal feelings of yours," I told him, tracing circles on the top of his hand. "The painful ones. I think it's only fair I share mine."

"It's a terrible idea," he muttered. "Taking me there."

"Maybe it is," I told him, before squeezing his hand. "But it's about time I pay my respects properly. Give them the farewell they deserve."