A/N: Two updates this week, make sure you read ch 46 if you haven't already. I typically don't like the backtracking/recap to illustrate a different point of view, but this is one of those cases where I felt like I needed to show at least a snippet of what Vince was going through because otherwise it would never get addressed, so I apologize if it may feel a bit repetitive. Let me know what you think! Vote, comment, follow, etc. <3

Chapter 47

Vince's POV

I was drowning.

Or that was what it felt like while being trapped in your own subconscious, unable to move, say or do anything while my wolf took the lead. But at least it numbed the pain, the pounding in my head, and the unwarranted shift my body tried to do earlier finally fading away.

But it didn't numb everything. I could still feel the bond. Still feel the tension, the anxiety rolling off Simon as he cowered in the corner. And just like those dreams and even back then, I was powerless.

I tried to get him to stop moving, to make my wolf stop whatever he was planning, but with his resurgence, he was proving to be far more in control of my body than I could contain.

And with every step my wolf took towards him, I was mentally screaming at him to leave him alone. To just give me back control so my wolf wouldn't do something we'd regret. Our wolves were dictated by instincts only, and whatever he was planning couldn't have been good.

Leave him alone, I urged. Walk away.

No, he growled at me before kneeling in front of Simon. He whined as he reached a hand out. Mate.

You're scaring him.

He growled again before gently taking Simon's arms in his-in ours. It was such a strange feeling, being able to feel exactly what my wolf was feeling. The lines that marred his forearm, the way his hair stood up on his arms as goosebumps started to form. The feeling of his blood pumping in his veins, his pulse steadily increasing.

"Vince," Simon's voice warbled, but I could still hear him. I could still see the way his eyes fluttered, worried, but still trying to reach me, searching for me in here. I'm here, I wanted to say, to tell him that I was trying to stop this, that I didn't want to scare him. I hear you.

With his lip quivering, the slightest trace of our touch and he was shaking. He was terrified. Just like that day. Even with the bond, his body language did not lie. And my fears were coming to life.

He didn't trust me-us. Could never trust us. But, I mean how could he?

And if my wolf continued this any further, Simon would surely leave. Scorn me, hate me for not being able to stop any of it. As my wolf leaned forward, hovering dangerously over that spot, I pleaded with him, begging him to let me surface.

No, not like this, I was practically banging on the nonexistent walls of the void, wishing I had the strength to yank my wolf back. He doesn't want this.

He growled lowly, he will. One day he will.

No, I argued. He won't. Not with me.

You're wrong, he snarled. We want this too.

No, I- I paused. Did I want this? I wasn't sure. My wolf growled, but before we could continue our arguing, Chase luckily showed up.

My wolf wasn't happy, but I couldn't be more grateful. With him here, Simon would be okay. Even if he were to leave for good because of this, at least Chase was here now.

I'm here, I could hear Simon say through the link I'm not leaving.

I was slipping, drowning again. I wasn't even sure if I heard him properly, maybe it was just my imagination.

As I fell into his arms, I could feel my wolf relaxing, finally stepping away from our consciousness. I caught a glimpse, the slight glow of light ahead of me, Simon's presence sending a warm pulse through the bond.

All I could think was that I didn't want him to hurt anymore. I wasn't sure what that meant, but for what it's worth, I was certain of that.

But I felt so tired, heavy from the taxing events, that I could see the light fading, the dark void slowly enveloping me. It was like quicksand, pulling, and dragging me further into the depths of darkness until the subconscious prison of mine consumed me into the bowels of unconsciousness.

---

I woke up to darkness. At first, I thought I was back in my subconscious, that maybe my wolf was still somehow in control, but he was silent.

I looked around, nothing but pitch black, nothingness. And then I could hear it. A faint sound.

"Help," it cried out. I couldn't see anyone or anything. It cried out again, "help."

"Vince," it sounded louder. Then in Simon's voice, "help!"

I whipped my head around towards the sound, but he was nowhere to be found. All I could see in this vast nothingness was my own hands.

"Simon?" I voiced, turning in circles.

To my left, he cried out. "Help me, please!"

"Where are you?"

A pause, and then a heart-wrenching scream. My heart dropped into my stomach. No.

"Simon!" I shouted. "Where are you?"

I kept turning, but he wasn't here, I couldn't see him. He sounded like he was right there, but I couldn't find him. Please, no. Where are you?

"Hello, brother." My heart stopped. No.

Turning around, the darkness faded until I realized I was at the pack hospital, laying in one of the beds, my body weighed down by a sheer blanket. I couldn't move, not even my fingertips. And there I found Michael and Simon standing before me at the foot of the bed. Michael's arm wrapped around Simon's neck, just enough to restrain him.

"He-help me," he struggled to say, Michael's arm slowly constricting his breathing.

No, I repeated over and over in my head. Please, no. Please be just a dream.

Stop! Please, just stop, I wanted to say, but I couldn't, only able to let out shaky breaths.

"Vince," he cried out, clawing at Michael's arm. "Do something."

I'm trying, I tried to scream.

Michael smirked, before undoing his chokehold, instead, gripping his right hand under Simon's chin, squeezing tighter as he jerked his head to the side.

"A shame," Michael chuckled. "You lost your chance. Can't say I didn't warn you."

And in a heartbeat, Michael flashed his canines before lunging forward, puncturing Simon's neck, right where the mate's mark, where my mark was supposed to go. Pain exploded in my chest, the sound of Simon's screams matching my own. His body jerked, the blood running down his neck, as Michael's eyes glowed, staring me down.

And then his eyes shifted. They were blue, my own eyes. And instead of Michael, it was me there, my canines biting into his skin. The feeling of his blood, the horrid taste on my tongue now. I had just witnessed myself hurt him, force the mark on him. No.

I was screaming, my throat burned, the iron taste still lingering in the back of my mouth. This couldn't be real. This had to be a dream, please.

Despite the burning in my chest, the feeling of my body being torn to shreds, nothing hurt worse than Simon's next words.

I hate you.

---

There was a gentle warmth wrapped around my hand when I came to, along with the steady sound of a heart monitor. Everything hurt, but if I focused on the warmth long enough, it wasn't so bad. I wasn't sure how long I had been asleep, but I still felt extremely tired, I couldn't find the motivation to even open my eyelids. So instead, I squeezed the hand back, hoping that the warmth would never leave.

It was still bright out when I could finally open my eyes, Simon's hand still in mine as he dozed off in a chair next to me. I blindly fumbled with the cords and tubes around me, until I managed to pull them off. A chime went off, and Simon immediately shot up in his seat. He blinked, before rubbing his eyes, then looked at me confusedly.

"You're up?" He said in disbelief, before sitting at the edge of the bed, leaning over me with concern. "You alright?"

I hummed as I looked around, still a bit disoriented. "What happened?"

He blinked, frowning a bit before saying softly, "your wolf. He's back."

"Ah," I thrummed.

"You don't remember?" The way he tilted his head in confusion made me frown. It wasn't that I didn't remember, it was that I was trying to process what really had happened, and what had just been a scary dream. Especially the one with Michael, it had seemed so real. Even my throat still felt dry like I had been screaming. But he wouldn't be here if that had happened, right?

To ease my nerves, I reached a hand out, gripping one of his shoulders to take a better look, only to see it bare, clean of any wounds or signs of a mark. So it had been just a dream, thank goddess.

"Vince?" He seemed taken aback by that, but I changed the subject.

"Did you get hurt?"

He frowned before looking down at the blood-stained clothes he still had on. "No."

"That's good," I sighed. With him this close, I could tell he probably hadn't slept well, his eyes blinking occasionally like he was struggling to keep them open. He was probably exhausted from that ordeal, especially since it happened in the middle of the night. "You know you don't have to stay here."

"I said I'd stay here," he said softly. "After what happened, I figured you wouldn't want to wake up alone."

"Yeah, but I'm awake now," I frowned. "You don't need to stay."

In fact, you shouldn't stay at all, not after what happened.

He huffed. "And if I said I wanted to?"

"I'd call you crazy."

He grinned. "Then call me crazy."

"You are," I agreed. "Especially after what happened with my wolf."

"He was just curious."

I made a face. "He terrified you."

He pursed his lips before replying, "you both did. I thought you were dying. Then he showed up, and I wasn't sure what he was thinking. And those eyes...they were just like that day. It scared me to death."

"Then why did you come back? Why come back to a pack, to someone who terrifies you?"I blurted, regretting it the second I said it.

He blinked, before staring at his hands. "Honestly? I was curious. That, and I wanted Cedar and Aspen to have a home."

"There are always different sides to a story," he continued. "My mom always said I shouldn't judge anybody until I've seen each side. So I was curious. About you. About the pack. As selfish as it may sound."

He chuffed, not looking at me like he was lost in thought. "Your wolf and I have quite a lot in common. I feel like a big portion of my life just has this void in it. Like a missing puzzle piece that has simply just been misplaced. And until I can find it, I don't think I could rest. I need to know all the pieces, to see it completed."

"And once you find it, what then?" I frowned, thinking about the letters I've tried to write, the missing pieces scattered and unfinished. "What if they don't fit?"

"I guess I'd have a dilemma. But if it's just one piece, the image wouldn't necessarily be ruined."

"Would you give up, toss it aside for a new one?"

He stopped to ponder on the question, frowning before replying, "after all that work and effort, I could never. But I guess it would depend."

I wondered if we were even talking about the same thing at this point. There was no way the past could be justified, right? I mean, if it had, things would've been far easier.

"But if you could, if we could've chosen our mates, I would've never been a choice, right?"

He blinked, before his brows furrowed, almost upset at my question. "If we could've chosen our mates, we would've never been in this situation. You probably would've never done the things you did, sure. We most likely would've been two drastically different people. Xavier would've been different, Aspen, Sarah, everyone. But things happen for a reason, Vince. There's a reason that we were paired, that the others were paired, and I'd like to know why."

"But-"

"If this has to do with me staying here, nobody forced me to solve this puzzle, Vince. I came here because I chose to stay here," he insisted. "I choose to."

"And if it's the wrong choice?"

"We still have choices, Vince. I still have some to make, and you still have choices to make too. And in the meantime, whatever you decide, I'll be here."

Before I could dwell on it further, the clinic doors opened, Xavier standing in the doorway. Simon turned and gasped, shocked to see him as well. He stared at me blankly for a few seconds before ignoring me, heading straight towards Simon, who got off the bed to greet him. He was still hurt, no surprise there. I wasn't sure things would ever go back to the way it was with Xavier. And honestly, as much as it hurt, I knew deep down he deserved to be this way. To want to scorn me, hate me.

"What are you doing here?" Simon said confusedly, as Xavier looked down at his shirt, frowning at the sight of the dried blood.

"Are you hurt?"

Simon laughed nervously, "this isn't mine. I'm alright. But-um what are you doing here?"

"I needed to talk to you." Xavier ran a hand through his hair. "Privately."

"Oh," Simon gushed, before turning to me. "Is that alright?"

"You don't need my permission."

"Yeah, that's silly," he chided himself before ushering Xavier out of the room, the air suddenly that much more awkward. Xavier had turned to give one last look, one that screamed he was still furious with me.

Simon said he'd be here, that he'd choose to stay here. But that seemed impossible.

For how long, the question lingered on my tongue. How long until you realize you're better off somewhere else? Away from me and everything that's happened? How long until you hate me just like my brother?