Chapter 34

Simon's POV

"Is it true, what Chase said?" I brought the subject up to Vince one night. It had caught him off guard, given we've really only made small talk for the past two weeks. "About your wolf?"

"Huh?" Was his reply, as he seemed to completely forget what I was referring to, but who could blame him. Most days, I hung around Xavier, either cleaning or cooking with the maids and cooks within the packhouse. To some, it might've seemed like I was avoiding Vince for the past two weeks. It wasn't like I actively avoided him, but it was easier to just hang out with Xavier, or Aspen.

Sure, Vince would occasionally bump into us, telling us we looked crazy for doing chores, but I insisted it kept us busy. I wasn't just going to spend all day holed up in his room or laying around doing nothing. I'd just be a burden and a deadweight if I did, and I enjoyed helping out. It kept my mind busy, away from dwelling on the fact that I had been living with Vince for the past few weeks. Being busy kept me from thinking too much, and it was probably the only reason I had tolerated our situation for this long.

Of course, it was always awkward being in the same room, and at night it was a wonder how he was putting up with me and my nervous antics. And quite honestly, I was surprised it had lasted this long to begin with.

And Vince was sleeping in his own bed again. No more awful cot to sleep on for him. He had complained about it incessantly, even though I told him he didn't have to. I'd wait for him to fully fall asleep before I could even close my eyes, but it was progress, as slow as it was.

So bringing up what Chase said probably sounded so out of the blue. But I needed to know. The past few days I had been thinking about the pills Chase had given me, thinking about how Vince had become so dependent on it that it may have had lasting impacts on his wolf. And if his wolf truly was dying, where would that leave him, or me?

Would he really go insane? Would I end up like their mother?

But I already knew the answer, it was just a matter of when, or if it could be reversed.

"Your wolf," I reiterated. "Is your wolf dying?"

He blinked before shrugging, "I don't know. Does it matter? I'm going to take a shower."

He turned to pull his shirt over his head. "Vince-"

"Look," he turned, his features taut as his lip threatened to show his teeth. "I don't know what your game is, alright? Why does it matter?"

I bit my lip before stepping closer to him, summoning all my courage to be firm with my words. "Chase told you what would happen. You really can't feel him, can you?"

He scoffed. "Of course I can feel his annoying ass."

"Hardly," I muttered out without thinking, finding it hard to meet his glare now.

"You don't know shit," he sneered, his voice raised a bit. "How could you possibly know what I feel?"

I immediately thought of the one time I could feel his wolf in over sixteen years. During his fight with Michael. How desperate his wolf was during that time, and how free he felt for the time being.

And then I remembered when I had first found out about Vince being my mate. The pull of the bond pulling our wolves together, the incessant whining, and demands to get closer no matter how far apart we were. It had been before he started those suppressants, his wolf free from the oppression of those stupid pills. His wolf was at full strength then, and when I had reached out to Vince, touching his arm, it was a feeling I couldn't describe. The sparks I felt, the sense of peace and euphoria that washed over me, and my wolf was a feeling I thought would last forever.

It was a brief moment. Maybe a mere few seconds, until Vince had jerked away, and his bout of rage and wrath took over.

But those few seconds had been the best feeling in the world, and I wanted more.

So I knew exactly what it felt. Even being a couple of feet away, I couldn't sense his wolf at all, when back then, I could feel the pull from miles away. Back then it felt like a taut piece of string had connected us, while now it was so loose, that even pulling at it felt like there was nothing there on the other end.

"I've felt him before," I informed him, looking up but only as far as to his chin, not feeling confident enough to meet his eyes like I had before. "Fighting Michael."

"You saw that?"

"He was weaker than before." I frowned. "And now I can barely feel him at all."

He didn't say anything at first. Then ran a hand through his hair. "So, what? You're going to fix him?"

I ignored his comment, trying to find a way to get him to see reason. If not for me, at least push him to do something right for his wolf.

So despite the protest and overwhelming nerves and bouts of anxiety, I reached forward, shortening the distance between us as I placed my hand on his chest, right above his heart. Just like it had in the conference room, his skin seemed to burn, and I had to force myself to keep it placed there. I stared straight ahead, afraid to look up and see what kind of expression he might have on his face. Hell, I was surprised he hadn't jerked away at this point, instead, standing incredibly still, only the hairs on his arms had moved, standing straight up.

I waited, hoping that whatever ounce of the bond was left could be felt, the slight tug of the string between us, that at such a close distance I hoped could be felt again. That sense of peace I felt so long ago was something I yearned for. Just to calm the nerves, to even ease my racing thoughts a fraction would be a blessing.

But nothing happened. Closing my eyes, I focused entirely on searching for anything, letting my wolf come to the surface beside me. We stood there for what felt like hours, as I tried to ignore the pounding of my heart in my chest, listening for anything that would indicate Vince's wolf was there.

And then there was something. Like a slight hold of the other end of the frayed string, and a low hum. It didn't tug or pull, but I could sense something there at the other end. My wolf whimpered, the presence of Vince's wolf seemingly miles away. So muted and distant that I wasn't sure if he could even sense us back.

Then the fear was back. Was there even a chance of redeeming him back? Could Vince even reverse the damage he's done?

Would I ever feel that feeling again?

This time, I jerked my hand away from him, mumbling some half-hearted apology, before slowly looking up at his expression, wondering if it would hold the same disdain as the last time. Luckily, it wasn't disdain, more like a confused, maybe even an annoyed look.

At some point I said out loud, "he's still there, barely."

"See, he's not dead."

He didn't get it, still didn't get it. "If it wasn't for my wolf, I'd be dead a long time ago," I told him, thinking about all the times I'd wake up in a pile of blood, all the scars I carried on my arms. The scars from rogue attacks, even the scar on my hip from crashing into Sam's car. If I had lost my wolf, those all could've killed me easily.

He huffed, before sitting at the edge of the bed unamused. "Your point?"

"Maybe Chase is right," I said. "Maybe I can help you, with your wolf."

"And if you can't?"

I gulped. There was a good chance I wouldn't be able to. A lot of it rested on Vince's part, lowering his doses, having the will to try too. But if I didn't try, then the chances to feel the way I did back then really was zero. And if it meant just a fraction of a percent chance of making things right, it would be worth it.

"Well, at least we can say we tried." I frowned, looking toward the bags on the floor. "And if it doesn't work, I guess I'll stay out of your life for good. Whatever, and wherever that means."

"Fine by me," he mumbled before heading to the bathroom to shower. 

A/N: (Spoiler: it wasn't in fact fine by him later. You'll see; take it how you want). Fairly short, I'll try to upload the next one quickly. Not totally happy with this chapter, and I understand if things seem boring so far, I haven't really fleshed out the in-between moments before major events so far, but a big one is coming up within the next few chapters so hopefully things will get more interesting. 

Also, I understand Vince is still a dick, but I don't want him to suddenly become a totally different person where it's totally unrealistic. I promise he'll get better, but like everything, it'll take time, and hopefully the next chapter we'll start to see a different side to him. Anyways, sorry for the rant lol, thanks for the views and comments so far, I enjoy reading the comments, no matter how heated they get during Vince's chapters lol.