A/N: Hey, another long chapter! This occurs just a little before Ch 16, sorry for the previous cliffhanger, and that this chapter doesn't immediately follow after. 

Since the time jump was a bit confusing, Simon is currently 29, Vince is 33, Sarah is 31, and Xavier is 27; 13 years after Simon was kicked out. On a positive note, Simon will be seeing some happiness soon, in the next pair of chapters in his point of view :) 

Thanks for the 20k+ views btw! I never thought I'd hit this milestone tbh, and it means a lot. Don't forget to vote, and comment what you think so far! I appreciate any and all feedback :) 

Enjoy!

Chapter 17

Simon's POV

Call me a coward, but I couldn't give Michael a proper response. However, when I had given my half-assed "maybe" response to Michael three years ago, I hadn't expected complete silence. A part of me had expected him to go through with the plan on his own and I'd magically be given keys to a home and be reinstated as a pack member. I even dreamt of living with Aspen and Cedar in a quaint home on multiple occasions.

When Michael had sounded so urgent and sure of this plan, I was certain he'd attack the pack within a week, but it was like he vanished in thin air. Months after our discussion, none of the rogues I knew had any clue where he was and it didn't appear that an attack on the pack was imminent. So soon after, the dreams and hopes had nearly been forgotten, and my life with Aspen and Cedar had gone on like nothing happened.

Sadly, our situation was getting worse. Motel rates were rising, and renting an apartment was out of the question. Aspen struggled to keep his part-time jobs, Cedar was fifteen, uneducated, and he was still too young to have a job. All the kid talked about now was finding his mate, and it was getting on both of our nerves. Aspen was struggling to cope with his newfound bond with Sarah, and I had been resorting to making money the only way I knew how. Aspen hated it, but I refused to quit. We needed the money, and I wasn't going to let Aspen work himself to death. I made sure to keep it in under wraps from Cedar, despite his curiosity. But the kid was too bright for his own good. He knew something was up, but for our sake shut his mouth about it.

When I wasn't out looking for money, I'd try and teach Cedar some basic education. He could read and write, but his education level was that of a fifth-grader at best. Even division was difficult for the kid. I knew it frustrated both of us, but I was determined to at least try and give him the best possible chance of being normal. Maybe it was a sense of obligation, but I didn't want to fail him the way I had failed my younger siblings.

"Si," Cedar said, reaching for the peanut butter sandwiches I was making. "What's a mate like?"

I paused, before setting the butter knife down, refusing to meet the kid's eyes. He was a curious fellow, always questioning the world, asking random questions. It took me almost a minute to collect myself before I forced a smile and looked up at him.

"They're...your other half," I started. I hated lying to him, but I also didn't want him to know the truth that I had to learn, even though I highly doubted he would have the same experience. "They complete you, like the filling and the bread. Just eating the bread on it's own can be boring, but with the jelly and peanut butter, it completes it."

"And makes it better!" He grinned before chomping down on the sandwich. He chewed on it before looking up with gleam. "So when will I know?"

I wiped some of the jam off his cheek before pointing to his heart, replying, "You'll feel it right here."

"You'll feel this magnetic pull towards your mate, and so will they," I continued. "Then when you touch, that warm feeling here in your chest spreads all over. Your wolf will know and tell you that's the one."

He seemed in awe, almost ignoring his sandwich. "And then, happy ever after?"

"Yeah," I replied softly, not wanting to upset him. If only it was that easy. "Sure thing, bud."

I ruffled his hair, before going back to making my sandwich. Before I could dwell on it any further, I could hear Aspen's footsteps approaching the door before he busted in, a vexed look on his face as he threw his bag unceremoniously on the table.

"What's wrong?" I asked, approaching him near the door.

He looked at me, then at Cedar before huffing. "I got laid off."

"What?"

He lowered his voice. "They said they had too many people."

"That's ridiculous," I responded. "What are we going to do?"

"I gotta find another job, maybe the grocery store down the road, or I can see if there's anything maybe a little further away," he sighed before rubbing the back of his neck.

I frowned, even then, we'd have to wait a few weeks until he gets paid. I made sure Cedar was focused on his sandwich before whispering, "I can work these next few nights. Maybe double or triple until we can pay for the room and then-"

"Absolutely not," Aspen nearly shouted, gripping my arm so tightly. "Are you insane? I don't want you 'working' at all if that's what you're going to do."

"We need the money, Aspen, and if they laid you off, your other job won't cover the room," I insisted.

"No," he squeezed my arm. "I'm not letting you do this."

"Aspen," I tried.

"No, end of story."

We frowned at each other before he walked past me, greeting Cedar and grabbing a sandwich. Aspen didn't talk to me for almost the whole night, rather focused on trying to find new jobs in the area on his phone, as Cedar insisted on watching some old cartoon show that the old box TV actually could play.

I stared aimlessly at my phone, debating what to do. As much as I didn't want to upset Aspen more, I couldn't just sit here and wonder how we were going to get money.

I was going to get that money, even if Aspen hated me for it. I couldn't think of a good enough excuse to step out, so I waited and bid my time. I scrolled through the usual contacts I knew who would be willing, when I settled on one number. I opened up the chat, telling him to meet me at the bar at midnight. He wasn't my favorite person of choice by far, but he paid well, even if he was a bit rough.

I'll be waiting, came the reply, followed with a wink face that made me almost second guess what I was doing. But when I glanced over at an all too cheerful Cedar, and Aspen slowly nodding off with his phone still in his hand from pure exhaustion, I knew what I had to do.

I waited until Aspen and Cedar finally retired to the bed to sleep, while I feigned sleeping on the couch, checking the time almost every ten seconds. It was almost half-past eleven, and I needed to head out soon or I would be late meeting up with Tom, and if I was even a second late, Tom wouldn't hesitate to beat me red. He had dabbled in bondage frequently and often would take things too far, especially if you made him mad, and nothing made him madder than being late.

As soon as my phone read eleven-thirty, I quietly slipped out of the motel room and started speed walking to the bar. Remembering the last time I had been with Tom made me want to turn back, but I knew if I were to get more money for one night than just getting a little here and there, this was the way to do it, and even if I felt humiliated and disgusted after, at least Cedar and Aspen wouldn't have to worry about where to sleep.

Luckily I had made it in the nick of time, spotting him at the counter five minutes before midnight, already two drinks in it appeared. I rushed to his side, sitting next to him and brushing my arm against his.

He leaned forward to whisper in my ear, "I thought you'd never show. It's been a while, Simon, too long in my opinion."

I gulped before trying to play it coy, rubbing circles on the top of his hand. "What, you missed me that much?"

He handed me one of his drinks before placing his hand on my inner thigh and giving it a squeeze. It took a lot in me to not flinch as he practically breathed down my neck. "Oh, you know it. Finish that drink, and we'll head back to my place. There are some things we haven't tried yet."

He gave off this creepy grin that made me want to bolt out of there, but I had to remember why I was doing this.

I sipped on the drink before smirking at him, lying through my teeth. "Can't wait."

I hadn't even finished the drink before he became too impatient and held a firm grip on my upper arm, leading me away from the counter. His other hand had travelled to the small of my back, as we weaved through the other patrons heading towards the entrance. Despite the little alcohol in my system, I had already felt a bit woozy and wondered if Tom had been that much of a prick to spike my drink. Blaming it on my tiredness, I tried to remain focused on the task at hand as it seemed like some psychedelic trip just to head to his car. I knew something was up as everything seemed to be spinning now, and fear was slowly creeping in. Whatever Tom had done, I knew it wasn't a good sign.

It seemed like twenty minutes to just get to his car when the sudden draft of wind seemed to pick up a sweet familiar scent. Whatever trip I was on was bizarre as the intoxicating smell got stronger and I started to hear what sounded like my name be called. My vision was so blurred, that I could only focus on Tom's hand that was gripping me and the feeling of his other hand grasping my butt.

As the voices and smells got stronger, suddenly Tom's grip on me had vanished, and I could feel myself falling before someone had grabbed me from under my arms.

"Simon?" Someone said, but it sounded so muffled, almost like underwater. "Can you hear me?"

I hummed, almost disappointed that the sweet smell had faded away. The person who had grabbed me was far more gentle than Tom had been, and I almost worried where he had gone. I started worrying more when I realized I had no idea who this random stranger was who grabbed me. The person had steered me somewhere, presumably towards a car, as I heard a door open and soon they had struggled to sit me down in the seat.

"Who?" I think I mumbled, as the person handed me a water bottle from the console. After a few seconds, my vision started coming back and noticed a male opening said water bottle when I hesitated. He seemed familiar, but the spinning was preventing me from getting a good look at him.

"Can you hear me, Simon?" The male asked, lifting the water so I could drink.

After sipping it carefully, I frowned. "Wh-where's Tom?"

He sighed, before setting the water to the side and placing his hands on the sides of my head. "Simon, It's me Xavier. Can you hear me?"

I blinked, my vision slowly settling down. I squinted trying to focus on his face. Sure enough, Xavier was staring at me worriedly, as he gritted his teeth. I glanced around us, noticing that I was not in Tom's car, and I was sitting in what appeared to be Xavier's car.

"What...why?" I frowned, still a bit disoriented.

"You were drugged, Simon." He responded, offering me the water bottle again. "By that man Tom, I presume? Do you remember?"

I blinked, remembering why I had even been here in the first place. Money. Tom. I needed money. Looking around, I felt trapped. Xavier blocking my way out of the car, as the panic settled in. I gulped, pushing the water bottle aside as I tried to get up, only for the dizziness to return. Somewhere on me, my phone was vibrating, but I ignored it, trying to focus on my surroundings.

"Easy, just sit down, Simon."

"No," I mumbled, trying again and failing to get up. "T-Tom. Where is he?"

Xavier placed a hand on my chest to sit me back down. "Simon, please sit down. You're not well."

"N-No, I need to go to him," I frowned.

He sighed, "Simon, I don't know exactly who he was, but it looks like he drugged you and is trying to take you home and hurt you. I'm not letting you go to him until your mind is cleared."

"You don't understand," I tried to reason. I need the money.

"Maybe I don't," he insisted. "But I'm not letting you do this. I'll take you home, alright."

"Please," I begged. "Don't. I need him. Just let me-"

"No," he affirmed. "He was hurting you, Simon. I'm taking you home."

I wanted to punch him, even though I knew it was futile. He didn't understand, didn't want to understand. He was just like Aspen, that I wanted to just run off and find Tom anyways. So what if he was hurting me, I needed the money. He wouldn't understand, Aspen wouldn't either. And fighting back would be in vain. He was so much stronger, more powerful than I was. So instead I settled on glaring at him.

He buckled my seatbelt before quickly shutting the door and going to the driver-side door. A part of me wanted to take off but knew it was futile.

"Where do you live?" He asked as he turned on the car, adjusting the AC and the radio.

It was such a simple question, but shame flooded through me. What would he think of me, living in such a dingy motel in a sketchy part of town. It wasn't even a home. Surely, he would judge how poorly I've been living these past thirteen years.

I reached for the seatbelt, not wanting to face his scrutiny, "I can just walk home."

"Where do you live, Simon?" He repeated, putting his hand on mine to stop me from unbuckling.

"You can just drop me halfway, I can walk the rest," I insisted. He huffed before pulling out of the parking lot.

We were stopped at a red light when he turned to look at me. "I know what you were planning, Simon. Quick cash, right?"

I looked at him in shock. I fidgeted my hands, before settling on gripping my pant legs.

He continued, "It's not worth it. If I let you walk home, you'll go seek someone else. I'll drive you home, alright?"

"Why?" I nearly whispered.

"I can't let you get hurt."

It made sense now. What Lucas was telling me, even what Michael was saying. They didn't care about what happened to me, they just cared about what happened to Vince. If I get hurt, so does he. My eyes were starting to burn.

"I'm not going to die, Xavier. You don't have to worry," I frowned, opting to stare out the window of the car.

"What?"

"I'm not doing this to hurt Vince. I'm doing this for the money, that's it." I clenched my fists. "You don't have to worry about your brother."

He huffed. "I'm worried about you, Simon. This has nothing to do with Vince. I'm trying to protect you."

"It has everything to do with him," I cried. "You're trying to protect him by making sure I don't get hurt!"

"No," he gripped the steering wheel tightly. "I mean, yes, I'm worried about the bond between you in general. But, right now, I'm worried about you, and your safety only. Simon, I was your friend! I've seen too many things happen to people who approach men like Tom. I'm trying to protect you. Even if that means protecting you from yourself."

"I don't need your help. J-just drop me off here, I'll walk."

"No," he replied. "I'm taking you home, and that's final."

We said nothing except me reluctantly giving directions occasionally. I sipped on the water that was in the cupholder, not wanting to say anything or look in his direction.

After the current song on the radio finished, he asked quietly, "Why were you with Tom?"

I squeezed the water bottle gently, "you know why."

"Why do you need money?"

I hesitated, waiting as we hit a red light to reply sarcastically. "Drugs."

He whipped his head so fast, I nearly felt bad for him. I smirked before replying, "No, it's for food. Housing."

He frowned before the light turned green and he remained silent for a few minutes.

As we neared the motel, I could feel the tension build up in him as he seemed almost angry at my living situation. I regretted not lying about where I was staying, wishing I had just pointed to some random suburban home or decent apartment building that wasn't far away. He parked the car and before I could reach for the seatbelt he locked the doors and turned to look at me.

"How much?" He pulled out his wallet.

"Huh?"

"How much do you need?"

I shook my head. "I don't want your money."

"Please," he replied. "I don't want you to repeat what you did earlier."

"Why are you trying to help me? I don't need your help," I said, pushing his wallet back towards him.

"I have to."

"What are you talking about?"

Xavier placed his wallet back on the dashboard before sighing. "Vince wants me to look after you, ever since Michael threatened Vince."

I huffed, before replying, "he just wants to make sure I'm not dead. To him, I'm just a liability."

"That's not true."

"Besides," I interjected. "I don't think Michael wants me dead."

"What makes you say that?"

"I talked to him. If he wanted me dead, I'd already be dead. My death really doesn't mean anything to Vince..." I frowned. "If anything, there's a lot more important things Vince loves that Michael probably wants to destroy."

"The alpha role," Xavier seemed to realize. "You think Michael is going to fight for it?"

"I'm surprised he hasn't already," I said honestly. Xavier seemed to ponder on the idea for a while before grasping my wrist gently.

He looked up at me before saying softly, "Vince can hardly shift now. It wouldn't be a fair fight."

"I know," I mumbled, visions of his painful shifts were a common nightmare these days.

"Will you be alright? Isn't it unbearably painful?" He searched my eyes, and despite the intensity of his blue eyes, it seemed to soften.

Unassuredly, I nodded. "I'm...quite used to the pain."

"That's not fair," he said shakily, his eyes seemed to fill with water. "It shouldn't be like this. You don't deserve any of this."

"It's okay, Xavier. I've accepted-"

"No," he barked, and I flinched, leaning towards the car door. "It's not okay!"

"Sorry," he lowered his tone of voice, as his voice seemed to falter. "I-I'm so sorry for this. All of it."

"Don't" I responded. "You don't have to apologize."

"Why?" He sighed exasperatedly, running his hands through his hair in frustration. "Why did everything have to go so wrong?"

It was a question I asked fairly often. Why? Why did things with Vince turn out like this? Why did my family have to die? Why did I still feel so attached? Why couldn't I get over it?

The anxiety, doubt, sadness swirled back in my mind as I stared out the window, listening to Xavier rant and grumble the things I've been thinking for years. The tears silently fell down as my mind spiraled back into the dark moments of my life.

I wasn't sure how long we had stayed in his car, practically crying our eyes out in the dead of night, blathering about our misfortunes. There was something about seeing Xavier, the so-sure-of-himself, the so put-together youngest brother break down and be this vulnerable, that made me feel so much less awful. Maybe that sounded bad on me, but it was nice knowing that there were other people suffering too, that you weren't alone in sorrow. And after all, Xavier had suffered just as I had, his mate Nicole had died too that day. My sister, who insisted on keeping it a secret, had been lost to that stupid day.

Yet, I still couldn't manage to tell Xavier about Nicole. Would it have really made a difference?

So I mulled it over, letting the tears dry before deciding it was time to head back to the motel room, where I knew Aspen would be furious if he found me missing.

Xavier and I had exchanged numbers, and he promised to keep me updated. As he drove off, I couldn't help but feel a sense of dread heading back to the room.

And sure enough, before I could even open the door, Aspen had opened it, looking less than pleased at my disappearance. Great, I had a lot of explaining to do, and I didn't even have money to justify it.