"I can explain!"  The words tumbled out carrying my emotions as tears started pouring from my eyes. It wasn't going to be easy-- I  already had a planned lie but in this moment it seemed so wrong. They'd been nothing but kind to me, but telling them the truth could put them in jeopardy and I didn't want any more blood on my hands. Kyle's blood was enough. I'd never be able to think about the future or the past without thinking about the things he'd done for me.

June tucked her hands beneath her legs- almost creating for herself a physical barrier to stop the impulse of grabbing the phone and I sat down next to her on the couch.  Buster lay protectively across my feet letting me know he was there.

"GenTech was my father's company.  He worked there for years on projects they assigned. I got sick, very sick and he thought I was going to die."

Tom sat down on the other end of the couch and kept his face neutral. I stopped speaking and wiped my face with the sleeve of the T-shirt.  They both sat motionless making it even harder for me to go on, but I did.

"So he started working on a gene experiment. One he probably shouldn't have- it wasn't authorized... but it worked. I'm alive and now they want his work for profit, and maybe to do horrible things with but he died and he can't tell me what do."

The words came out haggard and between sobs and my body shook as I let the floodgates open.  I knew it was vague and maybe not even all true in the way it can out but it was what I had to give. Buster whined and bumped my leg with his head but I didn't have the energy to scratch him.

"Kyle - the buy who got shot was running away with me. He's Mr. Kayle's son and he house me and Maddie over the company, over his father. And his father was going to shoot me--and Kyle, he jumped in front of me and I ran.."

I tried to form more words but all that came out were loud wailing sobs that I couldn't hold in. I pulled up my knees and hugged myself  tight rocking back and forth until I felt the warm arms of June wrap around my back.

I let it all out. My parents, Kyle, the anger and fear --finally not caring about being strong or in control. I wanted my parents. I wanted to be the kid I always was and forget any of this ever happened. I'd take the sickness or death or anything else but the pain of knowing I'd caused Kyle's pain.

I cried in June's arms until I was exhausted and she lay me down on the couch and covered me with the afghan that had been spread across the end of it. Somewhere in the distance I heard Maddie's cries and no natter how I told my body to get moving it wouldn't.

Soft humming filled my ears and I could tell June was in the room cuddling Maddie while Tom moved to the kitchen.  When June began telling him how to warm the bottle in a sing song voice as she held my sister and stroked my head, I allowed myself to fall into a deep level of sleep.

I woke up in the dark. I was under a blanket and the only light I could see was a soft yellow glow filtering in from the hallway. Buster lay on the floor below and when I sat up he bolted onto the couch and licked my cheeks happily. My muscles were sore and tired and I made myself get up and use the bathroom. Following the light of the hall I found my way into the bedroom they'd set up for me and found Maddie snuggled with a blanket in the makeshift crib.

Picking her up as she slept was all I needed to focus. Her warm sticky neck nuzzled against mine and I could feel the quick bird like rhythm of her heart. It was home, and the safest feeling I could imagine. 

Tomorrow was a new day. Despite the deep feeling of exhaustion in my bones I felt better after a long cry and some deep sleep. Slowly, I paced the floor ignoring my sore aching feet while holding Maddie in my arms. I needed a plan. I needed more from Tom and June. Despite my fear, I needed to get to the place my dad had left for me.

Kyle needed to know where Maddie and I would be waiting. Maybe his dad would stop him, maybe he'd be glad that something made the choice for him to stay behind, but deep down I hoped he still wanted to be a part of my crazy mixed up idea of a family. And most of all, he needed to know I loved him.

Val could get me the paperwork I needed to get money and things could still work out. My dad always said that there were never problems in life, just situations. This was a situation, and they could always be solved.

Tomorrow was going to be a new day and it was time I got moving. I lay on the small mattress and put Maddie between myself and the wall. Buster lay at the foot of the bed with his tail thumping lightly against the mattress. The light from the moon shone down through the window and everything looked soft and serene.

Maddie was clean, fed, and relaxed. Tom and June had dome everything for her while I slept and I imagined June at least, enjoyed it.

It was in that second all my plans changed. Maddie was going to be okay. She was meant for something wonderful and I knew my dad had done the right thing bringing her into the world. It was time for me to do that too.

I was going to see Kyle. No matter what I told myself, I'd never be at peace until I got to see him, tell him how sorry I was and that I left him, and unburden myself for leaving because I was afraid.

It was the dumbest idea I'd ever had and it made perfect sense. I lay my hand on Maddie's chest and closed my eyes. I could feel my muscles relax knowing I'd finally chosen not to run away from the mess I'd made.

Silently I uttered a prayer asking for another miracle. I needed help from Val and Tom and most of all June. I was going into the lions den and Maddie and Buster wouldn't be coming.

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I know it's a bit shorter than some, and definitely late, but it's here. And not bad considering it's a draft and it took me forever to figure out which way to go. Cassie tends to go from shouting to dead silence and as frustrating as it is, I listen.
Feel free to give me thoughts in the comments---like any work, stories in beginning stages are only improved with feedback (Thanks in advance)