Guilt?

Early in the morning Sarakshi rushed back to their home only to witness Siddharth curled up in the corner of their room, wrapped in her shawl and Snow lying beside him.

She ran towards him and kneeled down infront of him. She, with a great difficulty pulled him up and patted his cheeks.

Sarakshi: Siddharth... Sid... Sid enaachu ungaluku???

Siddharth looked at her with half-opened eyes. His eyes shone with relief as she returned, but his heart screamed from the events of the night before. He only wanted her presence, but she wasn't there when he needed her.

Siddharth: Enga pona? En nethu veetuku varla?

Sarakshi: J... J kooda pub le iru... irundhen.. Ungaluku idhu enaachu, Sid?

Siddharth: Ellame mudinjuduchu...

Sarakshi: What??? Enna mudinjuduchu.. nee.. neenga en modhala ipdi irukinga.. Sid enaku bayama iruku.. please enaachu sollunga?

Sarakshi's gaze was drawn to the strangely dormant Snow. Even he seemed melancholy, which scared her. Snow was usually the one to solve their troubles, whether it was by pressing them into a hug or licking their faces. Sarakshi's heart sank as she saw him upset.

Siddharth remained silent.

Sarakshi: Sid... Please edhachu sollunga.

Siddharth took his phone and showed her the articles. Sarakshi widened her eyes in shock and looked at the pale Siddharth, gulping his tears.

Sarakshi: Sid... That's okay. She whispered.

Siddharth slumped against the wall, a single tear streaming from his left eye. Sarakshi despised herself for not being with him all night.

Her emotions roared as she tried to be a responsible sister or a friend to J, but she failed to be Siddharth's girlfriend.

She carefully placed her hand above his, resting her head on his shoulder.

Sarakshi: Sid... I know idhu ungaluku evlo periya vishayam nu.. But trust me.. something big and better is on the way for you.. Ellam seri aagidum ma.. I'm there with you.

Siddharth's eyes were now dripping with tears, which were dripping onto Sarakshi's brow.

Sarakshi raised her head and fixed her gaze on him. She then sat on his lap, her legs on either side of him.

She brushed his tears away with her small thumb as she held his face. She then pressed her cool lips to his burning forehead. Their tears flowed in unison. She kissed his teary eyes slowly. She pressed her lips to his, attempting to soothe his sorrows.

Siddharth, on the other hand, backed away from the kiss. She frowned as a result of this. He wasn't even looking at her. When she realised he wasn't interested in kissing her at the time, her frowning brows arched. She sat alongside him after moving back from his lap.

Siddharth rose up and walked out of the room without saying anything. Sarakshi began to cry uncontrollably after that. She cried as she hugged her knees and reflected on what had occurred.

His dreams were also hers. Their fantasy had been destroyed. She made every effort not to make a sound and choked on her tears.

It was now Snow's turn to console his mother. He yanked her skirt down and motioned for her to take him up.

Snow laid on her chest, blankly. Sarakshi tightened her embrace and cried for a longtime.

She returned to the living room to cook some food because she knew he hadn't eaten anything the night before.

Before she could call Siddharth, she noticed him leave their house.

Sarakshi: En Sid ipdi panra?? What did I do?? I know I was not there for you.. but edhukaaga enkita sollama pora?

Siddharth drove his car to a location that was somewhat far from his home. Fortunately, the road was absolutely empty as he sped along it. At a certain point, his car came to a screaming halt. He cried while lying his head on the steering wheel.

He got out of his car and went along the dunes of the beach. Because the sun had not yet risen, the area was still black. He sat on the beach with his legs tumbling.

Siddharth: Idhuku munnadi ipdi nadandhapodhum enna console panna yaarume irundhadhu ile.. Appa , amma were against me at that time. Enaku oru hug kuduthu idhelam seri aagidum nu solla yarum irundhadhu ile..

He spoke inbetween his tears.

Siddharth: I'm sorry, Sakshi... Enaala mudila di... Enaku unna hurt pannanum nu ile.. Aana en life le Enakaaga ellame kuduthutu dhideernu nethiku ne ilama poita... I thought I was left alone. Thirupi ellam pazhaye maari aagiduma nu bayam vandhuduchu.

He hugged his knees and burried his face and sobbed.

Siddharth: But... But I had our baby by my side.. Avanum nee irundha naala dhana enaku kedachudhu? So I'm not alone right?

His little heart, on the other hand, was not prepared to accept the emotional devastation that struck him within a day. He was overjoyed to see his family that morning, but by the end of the day, he felt as if his world had disintegrated.

Siddharth was not afraid of being in front of the camera, but he despised it when people asked him sad questions and mocked him.

Siddharth: Ipo na set ku ponaalum ellarum enna pathu Idhey kelvi uh dhana kepanga?

He wiped away his tears and sat there looking at the sun rise.

The sun always rises, no matter how much people sigh or curse. It is up to the people to decide whether they see the sun as a barrier or a new ray of hope.

Siddharth made his decision, brushed away his tears, and drove back to his house. He didn't find Sarakshi, but he did hear some shower noises. He went into another room to refresh himself.

She noticed her arranging the table and plating the food for them , when he came back from the shower. He sat next to her and they ate in utter quiet. He could feel her stare on him all the while, but he didn't even look at her.

This broke her heart, but she decided to allow him some space to heal. She waited for him to call her, but he strolled up to his car and sat in the driver's seat without saying anything.

Sarakshi: Avlo aagiducha?? Enna koopda pora?

Siddharth pressed the horn harder, pleading with her to come. She huffed, kissed Snow goodbye, and sat beside him in the passenger seat.

The entire journey was deafeningly quiet. Neither of them said anything. Sarakshi was dropped off immediately at the sets, and he stepped out of the car without a single look on his face. She realised he had to face the people's sad inquiries.

She took a deep breath and made her way to the sets. People were grumbling and gossiping about him, as one might expect. That was when she met John.

John: Hey, Sarakshi!!!

Sarakshi: Hi John.

John: Erm.. I feel so sorry for you.. Enaku puriyudhu ipo neenga rendu perum enna nelamai le irupinga nu.. but trust me he'll bounce back.

Sarakshi: I know, John.. but enaala avara ipdi paaka mudila... He doesn't deserve this.

John: But you deserve this , Ms. Sarakshi. Feel the pain. I wil show you what real pain is.

John: If you want.. Namma vena shoot uh thalli podalaam. Let him be alright first.. aprm we can resume our shoot.

Sarakshi: I don't think he'll be ready for that. Inum climax matum dhana shoot pannanum?

John: Yes!! And that's a wrap for the shoot. Adhuku aprm full post production works aprm konjam music works.. but adhuku elam time iruku. So if he wants.. shoot uh konjam thalli vekkalam.

Sarakshi: Na avarkita kekre.. you carry on with your works.

John: Sure... Call me if you need anything. Na Inga dhan iruken.

She smiled in response and walked away from him.

John: Epdiyaachu shoot extend panna... I'll get some more time to execute my plan.. Aana na enna pannalum avala thodave mudila... Arghh!!!

~

Sarakshi called Siddharth to inquire whether he wished to postpone the shoot, but he wasn't picking up her calls.
Feeling defeated she walked to his caravan and saw him sitting with his face burried in his palms. She went near him and kneeled down taking his face in her small palms.

Sarakshi: Sid... Please da.. ipdi irukadha.. Enaku ennamo maari iruku.

He remained silent.

Sarakshi: Look at me... Ellam seri aagidum. We will get through this.. Un talent ku unna thedi varuvanga elarum.. so please ipdi irukadha...

She sighed when she got no reply from him. She was deeply hurt and felt guilty for her deeds. But she brushed away her thoughts and made up her mind to make him happy.

Sarakshi: Seri Namma vena veliya polama?? Unaku pudicha place engayaachu? Shoot postpone panna sollidlaam... Seriya?

Siddharth: Shoot ku time aachu... Na poganum!

He gently took her hands away from his face and moved away from his caravan leaving a shattered Sarakshi behind.

Sarakshi: Why are doing this to me , sid!! Enaku romba valikudhu..

She cried for some time and walked back to the shooting spot. She saw Siddharth who was rehearsing his dialogues with tears glistening in his eyes. She frowned and sat on the chair infront of him.

Sarakshi: John... Dialogue script na pakala.. ipo climax le endha scene shoot panrom?

John: First shot of the climax.. Hero was in a misery without anyone with him at that time. Heroine... That is J apo avar kooda ile.. He had to face everything alone. Andha pain uh avar heroin mela kaatanum.. Adhan shot.

Sarakshi's heart sank when she heard it. How was he going to act? Maybe he could relate with his character now.

Siddharth spoke every dialogue that he had in his heart. His eyes said what his heart had. His glistening eyes bought more pain to her heart.

Siddharth: Nee enaku romba theva pattapo enkooda ilama poita.

He finished delivering his dialogue and blinked away his tears.

"Cut" was the only voice he heard and his eyes looked at hers with pain reflecting.

He moved back to his caravan without any word , while the entire set was happy that the shoot has successfully wrapped up.

Sarakshi: Idha ipdiye vitta seri varadhu.. Wait pannunga Sid.. ungala epdi en vazhiku kondu varadhu nu enaku theriyum.

She mentally giggled and gave him an imaginary flying kiss.

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Sakshi enna panna kaathirukaar??

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