Funny how people can set off chain reactions.

And you set off a ticking time bomb.

From your words . . . I became insecure.
From your smile . . . I became weak.
From your eyes . . . I became overly determined.

Without you . . . I would no longer be here. However, with you, I feel like I want to escape.

Without you, I would yet again be that frightened child who separated herself from others due to the fear that she'd hurt them. With you, I feel like I can never amount up to anything.

Oh, how the beautiful people walk with their genuine looking smiles and happy words, believing that they will get somewhere, that they'll explore brilliant places.

I sit alone in my room of emptiness feeling out of place in the surroundings. Chaos ensues as paranoid thoughts rage in my head . . . fighting. My thoughts are always fighting.

Why??

I could be happy, friendly, carefree . . . all of the time. Staying oblivious to any of the hurtful moments in my life. I could escape, not understand the power of true emotions, while hiding in my dream world. Maybe one that is not filled with nightmares.

And yet, if given the chance to go back to change everything, to not meet you, I wouldn't take it.

Yes, there are many things that I have done that I regret. Yes, I do feel like a failure on a regular basis.

But those worse times give way to the best times. My imperfection is beautiful. And so are you.