One of the most problematic concepts in romantic stories over the years is marital rape and it's justification.

Over the years, I have come across various stories where marital rape has been described but not necessarily in these terms. Most often such instances in the story are defined as "he forced her" or "consummation of the relationship" while it is definitely not the latter.

Consummation involves willingness of both partners and when the guy is doing it forcibly it is rape.

Marital rape is the act of sexual intercourse with one's spouse without the consent of the spouse.

What is appalling to me is how these stories show how women being raped and forgiving the partners despite this while continuing with the marriage as if nothing happened. And moreover  how the readers never question such stuff.

Now one may say that it is just a story, a work of fiction that is not based in reality so why should we question but the truth is that this fiction/ series/story also affects you on a subconscious level. Even an advertisement on tv affects you below your conscious awareness to buy a product, so imagine the effect these stories have on young people's minds.

Following is the examples of negative effects of media or rather the influence fiction has on people
Note that this is a true story and I m not making this up. We had studied this as a part of our course.

After the movie 'Twilight' was released there were incidents of girls asking their partners to bite them. Various instances of fans asking "Robert Pattinson" (the actor who played the role of a vampire) to bite them. Now imagine if a thing like vampires  ( a work of fiction ) also seemed true to women, can u think what effect concepts like marital rape being justified may have on the readers.

For most people who read such "romantic" stories, the first impression they would get that marital rape is acceptable and there is nothing wrong with it. That is why the woman never objects and in fact forgives the guy no matter what. Girls might get the idea that this is the way life is going to be while guys may think that if your wife/lover is not listening to you the best thing to do is to force her (rape her)

Young girls reading such stories where marital rape is romanticized will often think it is okay for the guy to force me because he is helping my parents or that is what marriage means

While rape in itself is a problematic area, the reason why I m stressing on marital rape is that most romantic stories depict marital rape as the husband's rights over the woman. While under no circumstances is this true and acceptable. Marriage does not give the man the rights over the woman.
If a girl gets married, the guy does not get a license to use and abuse her body just because he followed a few rituals  or that their relation has got legal and societal  acceptance !
Marriage is just a social ceremony conveying that the acceptance of the bond that if the man and woman are having/see to have relations in the future willingly, the society would accept them. Note the usage of the word willingly.

Now I m going to enlist a few scenarios/storylines where marital rape is shown as justified in romantic stories or perhaps "revenge stories" While there exist innumerable instances, these are the following that come to my mind.

a) Guy lusts the girl. Gets married to her. Forces her. Later falls in love with the girl. And the girl too falls in love (waah waah👿😁😂😂)

b) Both girl-guy love each other. Guy is angry so he forces her (rapes). She is angry but later forgives him (another great story👿😂😂😂)

c) Guy has some weird mmisunderstanding. Wants revenge so he rapes her. But later revenge is complete so girl forgives him. (Kaise😂😂)

d) Guy is drunk so forces the girl. But he loves the girl na :( (fav justification 😂😂)

d) Girl is arrogant, prudish. Guy is irritated at her, wants to teach her a lesson so rapes her. (Iss mein kya galat hai? ) EVERYTHING  !!

e) Girl's family did something to guy's family toh best way to take revenge is rape only nah (NEVER !!)

It is very important here to point out that none of the above scenarios can be justified. A woman is not some property that u destroy in order to settle scores with someone. Neither is her dignity a tool you can use to punish her.

It doesn't matter whether the guy loves you or not. Even if it is your lover who in some state of anger, raped you (yes it is rape no matter what), a girl can never forgive the person.

Rape in psychology refers to robbing someone of their self esteem (the respect you have for yourself).

Now tell me could you ever forgive the person who traumatized you and robbed you of your self respect. No matter how much he cares for you.

Now whether the man in question rapes you in a state of anger or in a state of insecurity or possessiveness (to stake his claim over you), it is still rape.

Scroll through the romance section and you will find numerous stories involving marital rape. Most stories will have an arrogant insensitive jerk raping the girl, torturing her but he cares for her family so she suddenly falls for him and forgives him.
SERIOUSLY !!???

Tell me would you be comfortable living with a person,  (forget loving him 😁 )who raped you just because the guy helped your parents or in some RIDICULOUS stories ( loves you😂😂😂)

Love means care and respect for the person. If the guy cannot respect your dignity (irrespective of his State of mind whether he is angry, troubled or insecure), he cannot love you !

One reasons why I feel marital rape is not criminalized is that if we were to criminalize it, more than half the spouses in our country would be in jail. It is true that most women are raped by their husbands and they continue to care for them. I don't think they love them, they might be attached to them. But since voicing out this issue may cause harm to the women she lets it go.

Now give me an honest answer !Could you ever forgive a person who brutally murdered your family !! What makes marital rape less heinous than any other crime?

In earlier days when women were not independent, even if they spoke about marital rape they were hushed. Perhaps that is why they learnt to live with it and cared for their husband no matter what. I think that is one of the reasons why they romanticized it so that the woman is not dejected when she is met with such harsh realities. But that was for earlier days.

In this day and age woman are educated, they know their rights and most of all know that forced intercourse in a marriage is not the way it is supposed to be .

Young girls reading these stories will often think it is okay for the guy to force me cz he is helping my parents or that is what marriage means

It is  not okay for a guy to take revenge by rape cz there is no other way to hurt a woman. You dislike the girl, feel she is arrogant or she is cheating you, you just rape her. Problem solved👿 Really !!????
It doesn't work like that and never should.

Thus the point I m trying to make is that let us question such stories where  marital rape is romanticized. I am not saying that as writers don't write such instances. As writers I know it needs to be shown as it is a harsh reality but then don't try to redeem the guy or don't make him the hero. Rape is still rape no matter whether your story villain does it or your hero.

As readers and writers on a social platform where your story could be read by numerous people of any age group, it is important to know the implications of writing about such topics.

With this I conclude for the day😊😊😊 Hoping that my update was helpful and insightful😊😊

Waiting for your feedback now😁 Bye😘