wooyoung san

18.08.17

it would be an understatement to say san is merely excited to find out more about hongjoong and what he's hiding.

he's twitchy with motivation, glad to have a sole task to fixate on amid his craven denial. anything to focus on besides jung wooyoung; precipice of his desire and heartbreak, subject of his selfish wants and needs. gorgeous beyond measure, with eyes he can lose himself in too easily and hair his fingers want nothing more than to thread themselves in.

right. the focus of today is hongjoong. kim hongjoong, who san is trying not to think of as wooyoung's boyfriend. the blind boy hasn't formally announced their relationship, but that's what all his friends are defining it as.

thank god for seonghwa, who's finally given in to aiding san's detective work despite his initial objections. the platinum haired is currently sitting beside san, face disinterested as he scrolls through the information yeosang's given him on hongjoong's college.

"it's a perfectly regular college," he's saying, while san struggles to follow siri directions to their destination. "not state of the art but not too shabby. they have a boarders only policy though, so hongjoong might actually be there."

"it's summer, genius." san mutters.  spinning the wheel a little too sharply to take the next turn. "even boarders go home for summer. "

his friend frowns, looking up from his phone. "not all do. i didn't, at least. boarded my way through highschool in japan without going home before moving here."

san's quiet for a moment, realizing he doesn't actually know that much about seonghwa's past. "so why'd you move?"

the question receives a drawn out sigh, the older setting his phone down and stretching his arms up. "long story. kind of sad, not very interesting."

"do tell, mr. ambiguous." san replies, intrigued.

throwing him a funny glance, seonghwa seems to hesitate, but carries on. "my parents are kinda homophobic. odd, in a world where our lovers are decided for us, you'd think. but they were determined the name on my arm be a girl. i knew i was into guys as well as girls early on, so i stayed away."

he nods, glad the directions indicate a straight road for a stretch while seonghwa talks. "and then when i turned eighteen, i got yeosang's name. a boy's name. i didn't want my parents to find out, and i tried so hard to change it. slept around with a new girl every other night- but it was pointless. it always made me physically ill, to be with someone other than him. so i moved here. to south korea, where he lived, so i could find him. my soulmate."

there's a misty look in seonghwa's eyes, a soft look on his face as he talks, causing san to clench his jaw and keep his opinions to himself at first.

"so why did i find you with chengxiao, on the night of yeosang's birthday?" san questions, causing the older to wince with a sad smile.

"my dad called me. i don't know why his words affected me so much but- i tried one more time to make it work with someone else. with a girl." seonghwa laughs lightly at the statement, as if the night was a very long time ago. "clearly it didn't work. but after i met yeosang, everything was okay. and i don't take either of my parent's calls anymore."

san whistles when he finishes, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel rhythmically. sometimes he forgets he isn't the only one who has had it hard in the world. it tears at his chest, making him feel selfish for always being so caught up in his own matters.

"i suppose neither of us have had it easy, huh." he remarks thoughtfully, causing seonghwa to redden a little.

"wow. i just rambled about my awful home life to a guy with a dead sister, dead father and a mother he doesn't talk about it. sorry, dude. that was insensitive as hell."

it's not insensitive to have your own problems. san wants to say, the words forming in his mind immediately. everyone's trauma is valid, no matter the level of severity.

but if he says that, he'll just be directly quoting dr. suh, which makes him feel immensely uncomfortable for some reason. so he keeps the words to himself, instead laughing it off.

"it's no big deal." san tells him, making the last turn siri rudely tells him to take at the last minute to find hongjoong's college.

there are another small stretch of seconds in which neither of them speak, both just getting accustomed to the new atmosphere in which more and more is uncovered between them. san likes this; the getting closer to a friend after a while. perhaps seonghwa won't leave him.

"i did want to ask." the older says a little suddenly, his eyes shifting slightly as he speaks. "whats with the weird tension between you and wooyoung?

he just rolls his eyes with a smirk as he parks the car, taking in the bricking of the building through his windscreen. "illicit affairs and longing stares." he says with a sigh, vague. no shame in being a swifty. "we made out while he was on a very sad date with hongjoong. he's pretending he doesn't still have feelings for me."

seonghwa isn't able to suppress his chuckle. "you little casanova. what a mess you've created."

san unstraps his seatbelt, stretching his arms with a grin. "can't help it. we're meant to be."

that earns him an indecipherable glance, which he pointedly ignores. then, hesitantly, "are you okay? like... you're okay with getting with wooyoung even after what yeonjun did to you?"

tensing, san's smile fades. oh. he should've realized telling people things would result in them following up about it. checking in. can't i just... trauma dump and move on without you worrying?

but he considers the question, regarding seonghwa carefully. "it's different with him. when i want it, you know? i get that i'm hypersexual as a response to my trauma and blah blah, so i cope using that. but he never makes me feel like i have to do anything. yeonjun, and instances like with him... those are disgusting. i never feel like that with wooyoung."

nodding, seonghwa gets out of the car, not replying. san's glad, and appreciates him for it. sometimes he doesn't want a response.

another summer's day means blue skies ahead, only a few wisps of clouds discoloring the flawless azure expanse. trees outline the hills surrounding one side of the college, dark green casting shadows on the uneven slopes.

the college itself is quite a large building, accommodating its constant boarders as well as lecture rooms and canteen halls. san wrinkles his nose as he gets of the car to feel the sun on his face, disliking the place schooling hongjoong.

"so what are we even doing here?" seonghwa asks, hands on his hips as he squints ahead after shutting the car door behind him.

"hopefully talking to people who know him." san suggests, taking his upper lip between his teeth. "we'll see who's still boarding, despite the holidays."

"you didn't really think this through, did you?" seonghwa chides disapprovingly, but leads the way into the property nonetheless.

upon entering the building, the two wonder the empty halls, following signs that lead to a reception room. even in the holiday, there would be someone there as long as students are still here. much to san's displeasure, the college's interior resembles that of a hospital's, holding similar characteristics save for the trademark chemical smell.

the reception room itself is quite different, at least, containing a vending machine and a slightly worn sofa, the woman at the desk eating a bag of chips idly as she scrolls through a computer. a girl a little older than him with deep red hair is putting coins in the vending machine, her black lined eyes tired.

san strides over with conviction, confident hongjoong's school is the place to find the answers he wants. seonghwa follows more carefully, a few paces behind the younger's heel.

"hi!" he greets cheerfully, getting the receptionist's attention. "we're looking for a friend but forgot his room number. his name is kim hongjoong."

without saying a word, the woman types something into her computer, adjusting the chopsticks holding the loose bun behind her head.

"room 1117." she drawls out, hardly looking up at them. "that's room seventeen, on the first floor in the first building. he's not here, but his roommate is."

he and seonghwa both bow in thanks, neither quite knowing where that is. but san is as determined as he had been this morning, still fully focused on what he wants to know.

the platinum blonde haired takes him to the side of the room, looking mildly irritated. "that's fantastic," he hisses softly. "but where the fuck is room 1117?"

"room seventeen, on the first floor in the first building." a female voice says, startling both of them. "like she said. you need a tour guide?"

it's the red haired girl from before, now chewing the gum she had bought from the vending machine. hands in pockets and and shirt unbuttoned some of the way down, the girl is extremely attractive in an unruly and intimidating way, her narrow piercing eyes accentuated by the dark eyeliner adorning them.

"that would be great." san thanks her, a smirk coming habitually to his face. he's a flirt by nature.

unfazed, the girl turns from him deliberately, talking as she walks ahead of them. "i'm seulgi. 1117 is my girlfriend's brother's number, i think. but his name's bae jinyoung, not kim hongjoong."

"that's fine," seonghwa replies, now walking next to san. the two share a glance, satisfied they won't be running into hongjoong.

apparently, this is the first building, because it doesn't take long for seulgi to stop outside a door once they reach the dormitories. she knocks for them, leaning against the doorway. with her hand on the doorframe, san can see the name imprinted onto her left forearm.

the engraving reads bae joohyun, the name stark on seulgi's otherwise flawless skin. she brandishes it proudly, like a statement. it practically screams in san's face, and he finds himself turning away.

the door opens to reveal a young looking black haired boy, who actually looks vaguely familiar as well as a little or a lot high. (it's hard to tell, seeing as his shaggy hair falls into his eyes.)

"'sup." bae jinyoung gestures with a nod, squinting when he sees it isn't just seulgi outside his door.

"these guys are looking for your roommate," she tells him, and then walks away before they can thank her for helping them.

"ohh, you're looking for hongjoong, huh?" he ponders, lowering his joint. "why? you're probably not his friends."

"we just want to ask some questions about him." san jumps in, not getting any closer. "why wouldn't we be his friends?"

jinyoung shrugs, eyebrows drawing together. "guy just doesn't have many. he's alright. kind of sweet, actually. just a little sus, y'know?"

confused, san shakes his head, waiting for the boy to explain.

not replying, jinyoung steps forward, examining san carefully for a moment too long. "i have a strong feeling i know you," he mutters, before going back to the topic. "right. hongjoong. i mean, he's a pathological liar. so it's hard to keep friends when you lie about everything over and over. i do feel bad for him, though."

oh. san had been hoping for something a little more incriminating. his heart sinks a little, which he scolds himself for. this is a good thing. if hongjoong is nothing but a compulsive liar, wooyoung didn't have too much to worry about.

"let's go, san." seonghwa nudges him, drawing him out of his disappointment. "you got your answers."

they are about to go, but jinyoung clicks his fingers, pointing at san giddily.

"i do know you! choi san, right?" he giggles, while san stands there, confused. "you're the guy from that party last year. you cried when i tried to top you."

he goes rigid, unable to recall the night. jinyoung goes on, still a bit giggly. "we were both very drunk. sorry about that! maybe i'll see you at another party sometime."

"i doubt that." san manages, very desperate to leave. his chest is tightening, a feeling of nausea creeping up his throat.

you cried when i tried to top you. the words replay in his head, memories swirling in the back of his mind, suddenly trying to punch their way through.

"san!" seonghwa calls from the end of the hallway, not having heard the exchange. "are you coming?"

san throws jinyoung a last look, a strange terror chilling his bones. a feeling not associated with jinyoung himself, but what he had tried to do. what yeonjun did. he runs from the room marked 1117, joining seonghwa wordlessly.

left to fathom why he's unable to remember certain things, struggling to grasp memories from the locked treasure chest of his mind, san wonders if he owes dr. suh a call.

-

yes i'm aware i instill mass confusion ❤️

but things are hopefully coming together (2gether😼😼)

tysm for reading !!

xxx

edit: sanhwa bonding wheeee

ah, the simple days of when 2gether was airing.