oh, god damn, my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

san wooyoung

25.08.17

tired from the boat trip to the island, none of the boys are too keen to do much on the first day. yeosang and seonghwa have disappeared into their room, and san to his, leaving the last room for wooyoung and hongjoong.

the blonde's cane guides him to the doorway, where he hovers uncertainly. he can hear hongjoong moving around inside, but suddenly feels awkward to be alone with him.

removing the dark sunglasses from his face, wooyoung folds the shades and attaches them to his t-shirt instead. perhaps his boyfriend would relax if he doesn't wear them. running a hand through his
wind-riddled hair, the younger taps his way into the room, waiting for hongjoong to say something first.

"hey," he says quietly when the older still doesn't speak, announcing his arrival feebly. he hopes hongjoong isn't angry.

"i put your bag on the bed." hongjoong tells him shortly, tone clipped.

wooyoung gives a small nod, setting his cane against the wall after feeling the plaster with his fingertips. "the others went to their rooms. i guess we can all relax for a short while before taking a walk around the island."

"okay." the older replies, and wooyoung hears him sit down on what he assumes is the bed. "sounds good."

pursing his lips, he silently prays for this awkward tension to break. he wants to apologize, but isn't entirely sure what he's done wrong, if anything. he blames san's cocky self, not surprised the raven haired is already getting on his boyfriend's nerves.

"a-are you mad at me?" wooyoung stutters after a moment, playing with his hands as he makes his way over to the bed.

to his surprise, hongjoong laughs. "why would i be mad at you? of course not."

the blind boy recoils into his darkness, wanting to disappear. now he just feels terribly stupid. his left hand grips the bedsheet a little, giving away his discomfort.

"it's just-" wooyoung tries, wanting to talk things out, but hongjoong kisses him instead.

the action is not a first, but still fairly new in their relationship. due to his surprise, he doesn't even kiss back for at least five seconds, worsening the atmosphere. even when he does, he isn't really into it at that moment. he wants to talk, not make out, but the older keeps kissing him, so he complies. maybe that'll make him happy.

hongjoong's hands go to his shoulders as he leads the kiss, but the younger remains stiff on the bed, mechanically moving nothing but his lips.

before anything else can happen (to his relief), there's a knock on the doorframe as someone clears their throat. wooyoung pulls away, angling his head to the newcomer in the doorway.

"sorry to interrupt," yeosang speaks drily, not sounding very apologetic. "but i was hoping for a briefing on our itinerary."

his boyfriend scoffs, not removing his hands from his shoulders. wooyoung lowers his head, embarrassed to be found like this.

"couldn't you have asked san or seonghwa?" hongjoong inquires, annoyance creeping its way back into his tone.

"they're busy." yeosang explains simply, and wooyoung listens carefully as his friend shuffles his feet to rearrange his stance. "and wooyoung's parents are the ones who organized this trip, so i figured he might know more than they would."

the blonde clears his throat, angling his body away from hongjoong and towards the doorway, hoping his boyfriend will let go of him. seeming to get the message, his hands finally drop.

"they didn't really plan anything," he tells them. hand going to the back of his neck, his skin feels oddly warm beneath his palm. "just told me to have as much fun as i can and do whatever i felt like."

"and what do you feel like?" yeosang questions, its ambiguity locking wooyoung's jaw shut. the question seems to hold some interior meaning, which he decides to ignore. his friend is being meddlesome again.

"maybe just a walk today." he suggests, pretending not to notice yeosang's implication. "i'd like to get a feel of the island and just enjoy the fresh air."

"sounds good." hongjoong affirms, hand returning to squeeze his shoulder briefly. "i'll go let the others know."

the older stands up, the bed rising as it's relieved of his weight. wooyoung waits for him to leave, and then throws the waiting brunette an exasperated look.

"why aren't you with seonghwa?!" he whisper shouts, and hears yeosang walk over to him.

"i thought i should check on you, mr. i can't decide who i want to date!" his friend exclaims, and wooyoung groans. "i'm glad i did. that kiss was painful to watch."

"yeosang!" he pleads, shutting his eyes. "san and i are friends now. everything is fine! we're just in that awkward stage of dating- so if you want us to kiss normally i suggest you don't interrupt next time!"

his friend laughs shortly, unable to conceal his amusement. "okay. okay! i'm sorry. now how about that walk? jeju island is really lovely."

"i'll take your word for it." wooyoung mutters, getting up from the bed to retrieve his cane before walking beside yeosang into the hallway.

-

later; they have all returned to their respective rooms once more, having finished the walk.

wooyoung had enjoyed the crisp island air, its saltiness clinging to his skin and faint scent remaining on his clothes. the sweet smell of flowers had also been strong down a few paths, clogging the air and attracting the low buzz of bees.

despite its size, the island holds a whisper of secrecy in its seclusion amid its gentle tranquility. there are few intruding noises from the outside world, meaning it's easy for wooyoung to be grounded and relaxed.

thankfully, san had been quiet for almost the entire stroll, meaning no tense exchanges took place. hongjoong hadn't gotten moody again, and they all seemed to be in cheerfully calm spirits. wooyoung liked spending time with yeosang and seonghwa, because his best friend became almost a different person. the same as he always is, of course, just somehow calmer and happier. he supposes that's what it's like when you have your soulmate. it doesn't feel like that with hongjoong. maybe he's not...

lying in the bed, he listens to his boyfriend snoring softly, unable to fall asleep. despite all the calm comfortability he had just described, wooyoung's tense in the unfamiliar bedroom. new places are always hard for him to get used to. their foreign newness means he's unaccustomed to his surroundings, a factor that does not play in well with his blindness.

turning over, the boy doesn't try to sleep. his eyes stay unseeingly open, his whole body feeling restless. after staring at the empty space in front of himself for a few minutes, wooyoung springs out of the bed, deciding to walk off his unsettled state.

taking his cane, wooyoung is careful not to wake hongjoong as he opens the door as quietly as he can, stepping into the hall and closing it gently behind him.

he's met with the eerie silence of night, the nothingness he's so used to a difference kind of darkness at this time. wooyoung stretches his arms up, not really sure where he's going or what he's doing. the troubled feeling in his gut reverberates lowly, propelling him on.

not wanting to disturb anyone, he walks up and down the hall until he realizes his own stupidity. it's the middle of the night, and he's definitely lost. wandering around at whatever ungodly hour it is, wooyoung has forgotten which room he came from.

the only thing he can do is listen outside each door, hoping to hear hongjoong's snores. however, something different catches his attention on the third door he stops outside of.

a soft whimpering comes from within the room, and as wooyoung listens, the more familiar it sounds. he hesitates outside the door, concern brimming within him as he raises a hand to knock gingerly.

but the knocks are only met with more cries, leading him to believe that the person inside is having some sort of nightmare. unable to simply stand outside any longer, wooyoung finds himself suddenly turning the handle, desperate to get inside.

the door is unlocked, so he enters without any complications. once inside, wooyoung's heart constricts as san's whimpers louden, clear now that he stands in the same room. san.

dropping his cane without a second thought, wooyoung rushes over to the bed immediately, hands frantically trying to find their way to san. now on the bed, the younger feels his throat tighten as the boy cries out, engrossed in the nightmare.

"san?" he asks, trying to wake the boy up as he leans forward and shakes him gently. "it's not real. wake up, san."

hearing san's strangled sobs is tearing him apart. wooyoung has never encountered him in such a vulnerable moment, has never experienced such a side to him. and he can't take it.

pulling him into his arms, wooyoung encircles the trembling boy in a close hold, rubbing his back and shushing him. san's screams muffle themselves in his shirt, and wooyoung feels his tears as they soak the material.

"leave," san sobs, the word cracking. he doesn't seem to be awake, though.

"it's okay." he tells him, not letting go. "i'm here. you're okay." the words are whispered into the dark, only for them to hear.

san grips the other's shirt, holding onto him unconsciously as wooyoung tries to calm him down. he rocks him as he quivers in his arms, his shaking fists tightening around the material.

"leave me!" he's still sobbing, repeating the words brokenly as his voice becomes more raw. "please go! just leave!" all wooyoung hears is don't leave. please don't go.

"i'm staying." wooyoung whispers firmly, his chin on san's shoulder as he pulls him closer to his body. "i'm not going anywhere."

"wooyoung?" the word is a whimpered plea, his name tearing at wooyoung's very soul.

"it's okay. you're just dreaming." he murmurs words of comfort into his ear, praying san hears. "i'm right here."

san's response is to clench his fists around the front of wooyoung's shirt even more tightly, his tears spilling onto them both. he's crying silently now, still shaking but seeming to be calming down.

wooyoung just holds him there in the dark for as long as he needs, keeping him safe in his arms. the cover of night means they're both blind, san clinging to him as the blonde rubs his back and speaks to him softly. he doesn't know how long they sit there, whether it's minutes or hours or mere seconds, but san finally stops shaking.

"it was just a bad dream." wooyoung repeats, feeling san's hair brush against his neck as his head falls onto his chest.

he loosens his arms only slightly, figuring san might not want to talk about it yet. but he tenses up when he thinks wooyoung might be leaving, breathing becoming uneven against his skin.

"don't leave me." he whimpers, the words barely inaudible. san seems to have woken fully. "not again."

"i won't." wooyoung assures him gently, shuffling downwards to lie with him, arms still around him. "i'm not leaving you. never. you're safe."

and eventually, they fall asleep in each other's arms.

-

i've had this scene written in my notes for ages and it's one of my favourites 🥺 damn near cried

p.s if you read 'soft', there is an announcement on my profile addressing the rape/assault some of y'all thought took place :)

xxx

edit: by now i have so many scenes pre-written it's BAFFLING. most of them are smutty though lmao not tear inducing