wooyoung san

01.07.17

july. the first day of the month he's been dreading happened to be a saturday, which means he has the opportunity to spend it in contemplative solitude. san had intended not to go anywhere, remaining in decided denial that his eighteenth birthday's a mere nine days away, but he's kind of in dilemma. 

going out of his way to spend the day differently to how he did every other day just implies he gives two craps about the whole soulmate ordeal. he does not. the nearing of his birthday was not to impact him in any way, because it makes no difference: that coming day is not special to him.

he's getting restless, and there's a burning urge itching in him to just do something. anything to replace the dark pit in his mind that continues to expand expand expand when he lets himself think for too long. he needs to fill the void, whether it be with alcohol or sex.

perhaps not the latter; it's been a total of four days since he'd last seen jung wooyoung, the object of his current desire not having shown up to school since the incident.

san half debates calling chengxiao, but discards the idea quickly. he had made his positioning with the girl very clear and doubted she would be willing to take him back, even if it's just for a one night stand.

but the thought of her reminded him he does know someone very accustomed to the art of using sex to solve all your problems. a certain platinum blonde fuckboy by the name of park seonghwa happened to be on san's radar, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't in the market for an accomplice to accompany him on his hellish endeavours.

of course, his intention is not to sleep with wooyoung's best friend's soulmate as that would undoubtedly ruin all possibilities of a chance with the blind boy in question. but the male could very well end up being his one way ticket into jung wooyoung's bed. which is always a plus.

san figures that motivation probably makes him sound like some vulgar and salacious creep, but the last thing he wants is mistaking his sense of protection and responsibility for romantic feelings. he can find the boy breath-taking and desirable without desiring his heart. after all, there's no shame in being a little horny. (for a certain blind boy.)

now that he's made up his mind, the next bridge to cross is actually befriending kang yeosang's soulmate. the first step is finding his instagram, which doesn't take san long, and soon he's found the boy is actually somewhere a little too familiar for his liking. seonghwa has posted an extremely obnoxiously attractive selfie on his story less than an hour ago, with the caption "wish me luck". he's in front of the hospital wooyoung's aunt is at. 

san assumes he's looking for yeosang to try and apologize or something, which would work quite well for san except for the fact he's trying to avoid wooyoung at the moment. despite his efforts to avoid the blonde boy until he can get a firm hold on his stupid feelings and his stupid fluctuating heartbeat, it looks like he's going to be seeing him anyway. 

with a defeated sigh, he's already on his way to his car to make the short commute. perhaps the nervous bounce in his step is a little too enthusiast, he thinks, simultaneously half wondering how he's going to explain his appearance. san believed himself to be many things, a stalker not holding a place on that list- he prefers the term "resourceful". unsettling facts set aside, he'll have to come up with an excuse.

truthfully, the probability of him thinking straight right then was far from likely but what he thought he needed above all else was a distraction. one he's hoping to find in kang yeosang's soulmate.

the drive to the hospital leaves him time to contemplate what the fuck his stupid fluctuating heartbeat means. he doesn't want this to happen. but it's hard, being near wooyoung, when he feels like he's constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss him. which he doesn't think the boy will take very well. and san wants, the timeframe he's known wooyoung completely insignificant. it's impossible not to want him, when he looks like he does, acts like he does, and exists as he does, all the while being completely ignorant of himself. 

he radiates warmth, his laugh an automatic serotonin boost that san is growing to love a little too much, invites starlight- his eyes a black hole of all the beauty in the world and all the stars in the sky. he's quietly loud, loudly quiet, his presence deafening and feather footsteps always somehow creeping up on san from behind. he's a reminder there's still goodness in this crazy fucked up world.

but san's convinced himself he doesn't want to be with him. huh. nothing in his head makes sense anymore, and it's driving him insane.

it feels like he's only blinked once before the hospital is in front of him, and he's pulling into the parking lot, tires crunching over the gravel. its walls are as looming and ominous as ever, the red cross above the entrance sneering at his return. 

as he's getting out of the car, san half starts to panic, because, what if wooyoung isn't here? no- what if seonghwa isn't there? because that's who he's looking for. he wipes his hands on his jeans while walking up to the automatic doors, slowing down his breathing. he's being stupid- it was stupid enough to come here in the first place, but his overthinking is as stupid as ever. oh well. he's come this far.

his heart lurches, it fucking lunges out of his chest when he looks up, and yeosang is there with wooyoung in the lobby. he almost turns around and runs, his brain blaring sirens of STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID all the while. 

yeosang notices him first, his frown somewhere turning deeper and countenance becoming even more irritated than before. his arms fold across his chest, the annoyed huff he lets out alerting wooyoung to glance over, confused.

"what, is today national dickhead day or something?" 

san cringes visibly at the retort, a sheepish smile pulling the corners of his lips. judging by that remark, seonghwa has been and gone. he clasps his hands in front of himself, an explanation stuck on his tongue.

"uh- is seonghwa here?" he asks dumbly, because, he isn't, but his brain doesn't want to form the correct words.

yeosang rolls his eyes far enough san's not sure they'll come back to the right side of his head, but when they do, they're regarding him apprehensively. 

"not sure i even want to know why you're looking for him." the way he says 'him' isn't dripping with disdain, but the clipped pain he tries to keep out of his voice is somehow worse. "he just left."

pursing his lips awkwardly, san swings his foot, wishing he could disappear. "do you know where he went?"

that's when wooyoung decides he wants to speak up, face having gone from confused to forcibly indifferent. "i do want to know why you're looking for him, actually."

"trying to get me to admit i have no friends, jung?" it's easy to slip into their flirty banter. he wants it to be easy.

the hint of a smile plays on wooyoung's lips, dancing around his face before he's able to control it. he steps into san's vicinity, much to yeosang's dismay, swapping his cane from his right hand to his left. san's eyes fall to his hands involuntarily, skimming his grip, his knuckles.

"maybe," he muses, blue eyes shimmering as they blindly search his face. they just look at each other for a few beats, san memorizing the bridge of his nose and curve of his lips while wooyoung just looks, without seeing.

"i'm-" "wooyoung-" they start at the same time, and it's so cliché but wooyoung's immediately following blush is too pretty for san to care. 

"you first." san encourages softly, smiling despite his best efforts.

he inhales sharply, face contorting a little as he musters the words he was trying to get out a second ago. "i'm sorry i blamed you." san's smile falls, because he blamed himself too. "it wasn't your fault."

"it wasn't yours, either." san replies faintly, hoping the younger actually believes him. it's the universe's fault, and its unjustified hatred of san and its irritating fuckery. 

"right," wooyoung says, but he doesn't smile. "so why are you looking for seonghwa?"

san shrugs, eyes flicking to yeosang, who's clearly eager for him to take his leave. "just want to make conversation. i have something, uh, important to ask."

"cool. very nice." yeosang deadpans, raising his eyebrows. san waits, and the brunette groans in defeat. "fine. i saw him go into a bar across the street like ten minutes ago. walking distance."

"thank you." san flashes a grin, gaze lingering on wooyoung a heartbeat longer than intentional before he's turning on his heel, striding out of the hospital lobby. his eyes are glued to his white shoes on the blue carpet, and he thinks yeosang says something to wooyoung behind him, but he can't be sure of what.

the chic bar isn't difficult to find, and san's pushing open its door in no time. the atmosphere is much more to his taste than the hospital, and he's glad to be somewhere more familiar. scanning the few afternoon residents briefly before finding who he's searching for, san surveys the vintage paintings and dim lighting cheerfully, absorbing the strong smell of various alcohols. he strolls over with the cocky twist of a smile adorning his casual appearance, pulling up a stool right next to where the male sits drinking alone.

"day drinking, are we?" san chides by way of greeting, seonghwa shooting him a surprised look that quickly turns to recognition and then annoyance. it's honestly staggeringly similar to yeosang's reaction. 

"aren't you too young to be in a bar?" he replies, irritated, swirling the clear liquid in his glass. clearly luck hadn't been enough for his confrontation to go well.

"please," san scoffs, pulling something out of his back pocket and laying it on the counter. "you're barely older than me. besides, fake ids are pretty obtainable."

"who are you again?" seonghwa asks, setting his glass down and massaging his temples like san's the worst headache of his life.

"choi san. pleasure to meet you." he informs him, leaning his elbow on the bar and tilting his head. the blonde ignores his outstretched hand, which he withdraws with a quick eye roll. rude.

after a moment, the male whips his head around, his eyes widening sizably. "wait a minute," he ventures almost nervously. "you were there that night. and you've been creeping on my insta-"

san shushes him like the details are unimportant. "you accepted me, park."

"because i thought you were friends with yeosang!" seonghwa objects, downing the last of his glass in one go.

"not exactly. just a suitor for his best friend." san explains, waving the bartender over and ordering another bottle of soju. "anyway, i was bored and on the lookout for a reckless friend. surprise! you're the top contender."

seonghwa raises an eyebrow at him disbelievingly. "someone like you is ought to have loads of friends. and what makes you think i want to suddenly befriend you?"

san makes a face, pouring himself as well as the other a glass. "define 'someone like you.' and i'm not exactly an easy person to make friends with." he mutters, raising his glass.

"besides," he continues before seonghwa can answer. "you said you're new in town, which means you don't have friends." the older clinks their glasses admittedly. "not to mention i have connections to your soulmate."

"so you didn't follow me and come find me because you thought i was hot and wanted to have sex?" the other clarifies, and san sips his drink amusedly.

"why? are you disappointed?" he asks, raising his eyes provocatively to which the older huffs and runs a hand through his bright hair.

"no." he affirms, and san tips his head back with an uninterested sigh. "i didn't want to sleep with you in the first place. and there! someone like you. attractive. witty. flirty."

the younger made a wounded sound as if he's hurt, placing a mock hand over his heart. "you're not that appealing to me either, justin bieber. but you flatter me."

seonghwa glares at him, patting his hair self-consciously. "good." he mutters, averting his gaze. "i'm trying to make it right with my soulmate."

san rolls his eyes, his own forearm prickling under the material binding it at the mention. "not worth it, if you ask me."

"well, i didn't." seonghwa shoots back, before adding less defensively, "if that's your view, why're you 'suiting' for my- yeosang's best friend?"

san sighs, raising his head before leaning back again, not thinking about the question too hard. the images of jung wooyoung that came to mind, unbidden, seem obvious reasoning. his wondrous eyes so blue they seemed to hold pieces of the sky, having lured them down there and captured them - the fragments content with staying, captivated by his vulnerable beauty. his innocence and attitude, the magnetic aura surrounding him that draws san in more and more with each passing day, the temptation of him inexplicably unavoidable. the explanation seemed painstakingly clear to anyone but the pair themselves, who dared not visit the possibility.

he can only explain this in so many words, and by the time he's finished seonghwa lets out a long whistle, indicating for him to take a long drink.

"so basically; you're whipped." he summarizes, and san acts on the indication wilfully.

talking about the boy made him realize how much he wants to see him again and talk more than they had earlier. to resume his advances. if san doesn't achieve what he wants soon, he figures it's going to drive him crazy, because he's entitled like that.

"maybe not the term i would use." san denies, the statement a little too close to something different with meaning he doesn't like. doesn't want to admit.

"choi." seonghwa's tone holds amused warning. "i haven't known you for very long but you're so fucking desperate for this guy, it's like i can feel the frantic energy radiating off of you. you're like a sex addict going into withdrawal."

"that," san clickes his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "is an unkind synonym, park seonghwa."

the male smiles for the first time in san's presence, and he raises his eyebrows unsympathetically at the younger. "if you're going to stick with me, you better get used them." he says arrogantly. "there's a lot more where that came from."

the darker haired boy points a triumphant and accusatory finger, releasing a noise of victory. "so you are willing to join the devious endeavours of choi san!"

"when you put it like that, it's not hard to believe why you don't have many friends." seonghwa comments, and san laughs short but darkly at his new friend's current ignorance.

"there's a lot you don't know about me, park." he replies cryptically, earning a judgmental look from the older. "ready you regret the decision you just made?"

seonghwa raises his glass to the question, exhaling in agreement, already sounding regretful. "you bet i am,"

"now that i'm your sidekick, what's the plan to win your critically acclaimed blind boy's ass?"

-

gOnbAEhAJA likE a tHundER-

answer soty.

anyway sorryyyyy i had to edit chapters 7 and 8 because i realized i somehow fucked up the dates 🥺😭

xxx

edit: uhm... take me home soty?? this is so embarrassing i'm sorry lol pretend it hasn't been 29012892 days since an update. also i fucked up the dates so many times lol ANYWAY