Charlotte's POV...

"Charlotte, what are you doing?"

"I can't sleep, and I can't do nothing either," I tell Landon.

The hospital kicked us out around 9pm and my mind has been going crazy since. I'm supposed to be resting after my procedure, but instead, I'm tearing the house apart looking for more hidden pills.

"So, am I helping you clean or make a mess? I want to help but I'm not sure what you're trying to accomplish here." Landon follows me around my bedroom, watching me empty every drawer of clothes.

"Hey," he gently grabs my arm, forcing me to look at him. "Talk to me Charlotte."

Tears are threatening my eyes again and I know I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown.

"I'm looking for all of his hiding spots, if there are any other pills here, I want to find them. Please help me."

I'm desperate and tired and feel totally helpless. Landon must see it all over my face because he doesn't argue with me.

"Okay, how about you keep searching in here and I'll search the bathroom. If we don't find anything, promise me you will lay down and get some rest."

"I can't sleep in our bed while Levi's in the hospital...I need him here." More tears. How I even have any left to spare at this point is beyond me.

I frantically search our entire bedroom. I empty the closet, run my fingers through every pocket of every piece of clothing, rip off the bed sheets and look under the mattress. My lower stomach cramps return, and I realize I'm probably bleeding again. Landon's gone through the bathroom and has even taken apart the back of the toilet. Neither of us have found anything and yet it brings me no relief.

Landon heads into the living room so I can have some privacy while I wash up and apply a clean pad. I'm overdoing it and making myself bleed more than I should be. How am I supposed to rest though, I've made a mess of my room and can't sleep in here anyway so, I put on a pair of comfy pajamas and join Landon on the couch.

"Here, I made you some tea," he hands me a warm mug and covers me with a blanket while I rest my feet up on the ottoman. He's being amazingly strong for me right now when I know he's hurting just as badly.

"How did I miss it? Who did he even get them from?" And, more crying, I can't help myself.

Landon wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into him. I allow my head to lean on him while I continue to sob. "Why didn't he tell me what he needed? Whatever he needed I would've helped him."

"I don't know Char, we all missed it. We can help him now, you have me and Jake, Derek, Krysta. We can all help him together."

"I feel like I failed him. Sometimes I wish that his family brought him somewhere else for rehab after his accident."

"Charlotte, look at me," Landon places his fingers under my chin and angles my face towards him.

"Please don't think like that. You are the best thing to ever happen to him. Sure, he had a good life before his accident. He's been blessed with an amazing career, great friends and wonderful parents, but he wasn't completely happy, Emma didn't make him happy, he was missing true love until he found you. It's shit what happened to him, and he struggles every day since the accident, but it's because of you that he chooses to fight. He chooses you to wake up to everyday knowing you're worth every effort."

"But if he didn't meet me, things would probably be different and easier for him. I fell in love with my patient, I made him go back to London, I screwed up his rehab because I chose love over my work."

"If Levi never met you, he still would've been in that accident, Emma still would've left him, and he would still be in a wheelchair and probably wouldn't be able to do half the things he's able to do now. You are the one who rescued him when he wanted to give up, you are the one who is by his side always and through everything. He is lucky his family found you, so please stop beating yourself up about the things you can't control."

Everything he's saying to me is reasonable. I want to believe every word, yet Levi must've been unhappy for him to do this to himself, right?

"How am I supposed to tell him I lost our baby, Landon? He already wants to give up on himself again, this will break him."

Landon hugs me tighter to his side, his body slightly shaking as he tries to compose himself. He needs to grieve too; this is so hard on all of us.

"The miscarriage isn't your fault, and I really don't believe Levi was trying to hurt himself. You'll get through this," his voice quivers as he speaks.

"Thank you for being here Landon, thank you for everything," I sincerely tell him.

"Always." He gives me another squeeze.

We sit in silence for I don't know how long, his arm wrapped around me as I lay my head near his shoulder. I wish we knew what really happened, what was really going on in Levi's mind. I hope when he wakes up, he's able to tell us. The unknown is messing with our heads. I'm thinking the worst and I can't get a true read on Landon. At least he's trying to stay positive, which is more than I can say for myself. Every time something good happens to us, another obstacle comes barreling down in our way, forcing us to seek another more difficult path.

I feel Landon's breathing become rhythmic and shallow. Neither of us have spoken another word. His arm hangs loosely around mine and for the first time today I feel some relief that he's able to get some sleep.

Landon's right. Levi's family did bring him to the best place for his rehab. Although, I did make some wrong choices when it came to his physical care, some selfish choices and we both suffered the consequences. I can't imagine my life without him though. If his family hadn't flown him to Boston, who knows how limiting his disability would have been now. Emma would've left him all the same and who would've saved him? It's so hard to imagine a world without him in it. He's brought just as much love to my life as I've brought him.

Underneath his disabilities, his struggles, and pain there is the most beautiful, talented, kind, and humble man I know. He's taught me how to persevere, how to laugh, how to let go, how to love. We've been saving each other and I'll be damned if we stop now. What ever we need to do to get through this together we will do.

Landon thinks Levi is lucky that he found me, but I am the lucky one.