Levi's POV...

What the bloody hell? I feel like I've been run over by a car again, except this time I can feel my arms and legs and all the pain. My head feels the worst.

Where am I?

"Levi, can you open your eyes for me?"

Who the fuck is talking to me? I don't recognize the man's voice. I can't seem to open my eyes either. Maybe I'm dreaming...a very painful dream. "Ugh." Wait, did I just moan out loud? Maybe I'm not dreaming. Fuck! Everything hurts!

"Levi, are you trying to speak? Can you squeeze my hand?"

Who is this guy? Where's Charlotte? No I can't squeeze your hand, whoever you are. I can't open my eyes either and I'm afraid my head is going to explode from the pain "Ugh...errr," there I go again, someone help me.

I feel a soft hand brushing across my cheek, although I'm probably imagining it.

"I think he might be in pain, his heart rate is high too."

"I think you're right, I'll have the nurse administer some pain medication."

That's was Charlotte's voice! She's talking to that man. I need to open my eyes. Keep talking Charlotte, touch my face again.

Oh God, the light hurts but at least my eyelids are trying to cooperate. I see her! Charlotte! I want to say her name. What's wrong with me? I feel my wet tears run down my face, that's a good sign I think.

"Hey Handsome." There's my girl's sweet voice.
Her soft fingers wipe my tears away and I feel her beautiful lips kiss my forehead. "I've missed you, I'm so glad you're waking up."

Keep talking to me, I've missed you too, I don't know how long I've been asleep. The white ceiling and the sounds of monitors beeping make me realize I'm in a hospital. The way my head and my body feels tells me that I'm not in good shape. Fuck, what did I do?

I still can't move or speak but I can feel everything, last time I couldn't.

"I love you so much," she whispers. Her hand squeezes mine and I want to tell her I love her too, but all I can do is look at her.

"Please try to squeeze my hand Levi," this time Charlotte is asking me so I need to try. I'll try for you, Love.

I look down at my hand resting in hers and focus as hard as I can. I feel my fingers twitch, so I keep concentrating. Please don't let me be completely paralyzed this time.

Her hand's warmth radiates through mine as my fingers close around hers. "That's it babe! Good!" She praises me and I watch her bring my hand up to her lips. She's crying now and I hate to see her upset.

"Don't cry," I hear the sound of a dying animal.

"Levi, say something else!"

What? Oh, shit, I'm the dying animal sound.

"I love you," manages to croak out of my mouth.

"Oh thank goodness! I love you too, so much!" Charlotte half cries.

"Hey, Mate, you scared us for a minute," Landon's voice I recognize. He steps closer to my bed and I surprise myself by holding my hand out to him. He grabs it and I hear Charlotte start crying again. Why does she keep crying? This must be bad.

"Mr. Dawson, I'm going to ask you a few questions and have you follow some commands," there's that man's voice again. I look up to see said man wearing a white medical coat, so he must be the doctor.

"You're doing good babe, you've got this," Charlotte encourages me as her fingers glide through my hair around the wires that are attached to my head. I need to hug her or for her to hug me.

The doctor then proceeds to shine a light into my eyes and I want to punch him for causing more pain in my head. "Follow the light with your eyes," he says.

"My head hurts, everything hurts!" I blurt out.

"Do you know where you are?" He asks.

"A hospital, why does everything hurt?"

"Squeeze both of my hands," I do what he says hoping he will answer my questions too.

He taps both my knees and ankles with a tool and my legs jump up, well my right leg more than my left leg does. Then he scrapes the tool on the bottom of my feet and along my shins. My right foot feels it all, my left still has the same minimal sensations as it had before I ended up in this hospital bed. At least I'm not any more paralyzed than I was before.

"Your pain medication should kick in soon. Do you remember what happened to you?" He asks me.

Bits and pieces are coming back to me. I remember Landon bringing me to PT and I wasn't feeling well. I took a pill Lance gave me and then I felt sick. Shit! Everyone in this room must know now. This was not how I wanted Charlotte to find out.

I whip my head in Charlotte's direction, scared to death of what she thinks of me or what she thinks I did. I'm not sure what I've put her through or how long I've been out, but she's here by my side...crying.

"Levi?" The doctor's voice again. I continue to stare at Charlotte and nod my head.

"Yea I remember up to the part where I walked into PT and that's it."

Endless tears pour from my love's beautiful eyes. What have I done to her? How injured am I ?

"I'm sorry," I tell her, because I am sorry and I don't know what else to say. I've never seen her cry this much.

"What happened to me?"

Landon makes his way over to Charlotte and hands her a box of tissues and then sits in a chair next to her. I have both of them in my view now and it will be easier to observe their reactions.

The doctor begins to answer me, "It appears that you took something containing Fentanyl which caused swelling on your brain, resulting in multiple grande mal seizures. It took some time to control the seizures, so we sedated you to allow your brain to heal. The swelling appears to have subsided quickly. We will do another head CT today to make sure. The good news is that you're awake and responding appropriately and following commands."

"Do I have any other injuries? Did I injure my spine any further, because I can't move my legs very well and it's painful when I try."

"I believe you fell onto your right side, you have some bruising on your shoulder and hip. You already had a right hip injury, that's all we found. When you're in less pain, we will test your range of motion and get your legs working again. A seizure causes a lot of trauma on the body and you had multiple seizures. What you need is rest. I'll have the nurse come in and take the wires off of your head and wash your hair. The head CT will be this afternoon," he says. Then he writes in a clipboard and walks out the door.

"We were so worried Mate! You're going to be okay and that's all that matters," Landon chimes in. Charlotte's quiet though, she's holding my hand and staring at the floor.

"How long was I sleeping?" I ask Landon.

"Not long, thank God. It happened yesterday morning while Charlotte was at her appointment."

Our baby!

A sudden gut wrenching sensation consumes me and I want to vomit. Charlotte isn't crying only for me I realize.

I painfully move my hand towards her and cup her cheek. "Charlotte, please talk to me."

Just then, the nurse walks in with a bucket and water. Charlotte moves away to give the nurse some room.

This nurse has Impeccable timing, and it takes all the moral I have not to tell her to leave us alone.

The three of us remain quiet while she removes the wires and glue from my head and then washes my hair. Honestly, it feels good to have my hair washed, so I thank her before she leaves.

Landon whispers something to Charlotte and she nods her head.

"I'm going to give you two some time together. Call me if you need anything at all, I'll just be at the apartment," Landon says and leans over for a handshake.

"Thanks Mate."

Charlotte begins pacing the room when Landon leaves. Her hands are shaking, her emotions are all over the place.

"Love?" I try to get her attention and pat the space of my mattress.

"Come sit with me," I tell her.

She turns towards me, not taking a step closer. "Did you want to hurt yourself?" Her voice is a near whisper. "Where you giving up on yourself?" She rephrases the question.

"No, Love. I promise I wasn't trying to end my life. I made you a promise that I'd never give up again. I'm so sorry I put you through this. Please believe me, I only took them to try and help with my hip pain."

Relief washes over her face and she uses her sleeve to wipe her tears away. She takes a few steps closer to me. Her mind is racing with the million questions I know she wants to ask me.

I pat the bed again, this time she comes all the way over to me and sits on the mattress. She takes my hand in hers and brushes her thumb across my skin.

"I was so scared that I was going to lose you," she's crying again and that gut wrenching feeling returns tenfold.

"I lost our baby and I almost lost you too," she sobs even more. My heart monitor starts beeping faster, it feels like I just got stabbed in the chest. This is my fault. I caused her too much stress.

I pull her on top of me and embrace her. "I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry," I cry along with her.

"Don't ever scare me like that again. We can try for another baby again when we're both ready, but there isn't another you. What ever you're going through, we will figure it out together. And if you felt like you couldn't trust me or had to hide things from me, we will figure that out too."

She's finally stopped shedding tears and now it's my turn. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you miscarried, I'm sorry I put you through all that, it's my fault we lost the baby," I sniffle.

"It's neither of our faults Levi. I was high risk. When you get out of the hospital and feel up to it, we can go back to the fertility specialist and figure it out."

She brushes her fingers along the side of my face and her touch brings me comfort. "You and I are what's most important. We will get through this like we have everything else. I believe in us," she leans in and kisses my lips, then she moves the IV around so she can lay beside me.

With her head on my chest and her arm wrapped around my torso, I slowly tickle her arm and whisper in her ear, "And I'll always believe in you."