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"hmm, this looks pretty"

The man mumbled as he picked up a fashion magazine.
The magazine showing a tall model with colorful clothing on the cover.

He hummed and tossed the magazine in the over flowing trolley cart that he slowly strolled away with.
The man nodded his head along the music that was playing through his headphones.
Music that was loud to block any sound and be heard by anyone.
But, he didn't care, no one was there to hear it anyway, he was all alone by himself.

Picking a nearby apple in the fruit section of the store, he munched on the fruit while thinking to himself what he should grab next.

Meat?
No, he has plenty of meat stored in his fridge at home...
Vegetables...?
.....
He didn't like vegetables one bit, so maybe no...
Oh right, he needed to stock up on his ramen and water supply, he'll grab some on the way out.

Humming a tune, he walked out the grocery store with a smile on his face.
His arms occupied with pushing the large over stacked trolley cart.
The man could faintly hear a loud screeching beep when he walked through the door, but didn't seem to quite mind it since he had his headphones on blocking the noise.
He tossed his finished apple core on the ground as he strolled, wandering the empty streets with bright lit stores.

Some stores boomed music on their own but alas, the man liked his music better.

He suddenly felt a little hungry, which was weird, considering he had just ate an apple.
But the man was always hungry, so he didn't mind.

He picked up red bean bun from his trolley cart but accidentally dropped it on the floor.
The man let out a sharp gasps, the sighing at himself at the realization that the bun had a wrapper.

He chuckled to himself about his own stupidity and dramaticness while bending down to pick up the bun.

When he got up, he met sight with a huge window to a fashion shop, the mannequins on display.
The man leaned forward to look at his own reflection,

"sigh..."

but frowned when he saw nothing.

"I bet you're looking stunning as always, Choi san", he still beamed happily.

San's eyes then lit up when he saw a steep hill along the sidewalks.
Standing on the side of his trolley cart, he rode the cart down the hill with a loud cheer.

***

5:34pm

"Woah"

"what?", a voice sounded through the phone.
"no, just felt like this strong gush of wind pass by me, it's probably just nothing", jongho said and asked the man on the phone to continue his conversation.

The boy had continued to roam the streets for a day now.
Sometimes lounging at restaurants, cafes or bustops for breaks.
He occasionally visited websites or stores to ask for any jobs he could apply for but all he got were turn downs.
It wasn't only until a few minutes earlier that his phone had rung.

Jongho picked up in an instance despite not recognizing the number in the screen.
With a slight skeptical tone he asked who had dialed his number and was reminded with his plead that he had put up online.

"yeah, please continue"

"yeah,
as I was saying.

I'm an accountant on factory business in Seoul, and we're running low on people on the handywork.
You said you were around myeongdong, is that right?"

Jongho agreed to the man's question.
"that's perfect.
I can contact my manager to see if we can arrange a proper interview this week.
How does that sound? "

Jongho immediately agreed to his request,
"yeah, I have the whole week."

"great then,
I'll send you the place and time as soon as we've decided, see you soon then?"

Jongho hummed and the woman soon hung up.
A smile appeared on his face, happy that he finally gotten an opportunity for a job.
He didn't care much if it was a hard task with many heavy work.
He could take any task given to him.

The boy tried his best to contain his huge grin, his footsteps were now a little faster due to his excitement.
He galloped down the busy sidewalk, dodging the careless people who weren't paying attention to their way.

Suddenly, a strong push delivered to his left, a yelp sounded right beside him.
Jongho was pushed into a narrow alleyway, though fortunately, not falling to the ground.

His head turn to the sound and saw a blonde boy trying to recollect his balance.

Yeosang's right hand quickly reached up to hold his bandaged one but didn't since his attention focused on not falling over instead.

Jongho stared at the boy for quite a while.
He knew it was rude to stare, but something about the boy just seemed so....
So...

Out of place.

The boy had messy, almost wet looking hair, his bangs long enough to be covering his eyes.
Even though his eyes were partially covered by his messy hair, they still displayed the boys dark yet bold makeup which weren't really usually what jongho had seen in the city since almost most people went for a more natural approach.

The boy wore a short tight, satin blue dress, one that would be usually worn by western girls on Instagram.
He held a glittery white purse and wore shiny blue platform heels, making him look like he was a teenage girl going to a local club.
Jongho would've mistakened the other as girl even, if he hadn't stopped to take a second look.

A large bandage covered his right arm, jongho thought he wouldn't get more shocked until he caught sight of stains of red on the bandage.
It was very noticeable, due to the red stains being a vibrant color.
And it seemed to have caught sight of many others as well, jongho saw many people staring as they passed.

The blonde boy seemed to have quite the trouble with standing up straight.
He kept on slumping over as soon as he almost tumbled over second before.

When yeosang had finally manged to catch his balance, he looked up to see the wide eyes of a brown haired boy.
A boy who he had no way of believing was a day over 20.
Still, he didn't seem to quite believe what his droopy eyes were seeing.

His vision seemed pretty blurry and didn't quite want to admit what he was witnessing.

Yeosang leaned in closer to jongho, who took a step back, disliking the invasion of his personal space.
The blonde boy was practically trapping the brunette against the wall, jongho blushed when he saw that people were now staring at them.

What the hell was he doing???

Jongho squeezed himself against the wall, not wanting to meet sight of the boy.
He was sure a tiny of red had now appeared on his cheeks.
"hey, what are you-"

"am I in heaven?", yeosang asked, not turning his gaze away from jongho's face.

"huh?"
Clearly out of everything, jongho had not anticipated that.
What did he even mean by that?
There's no way that....
Th-that....
He found him attractive?

Even if that was the case, he didn't know how anyone could be so upfront about it.
Even tho he found the blonde boy to be an absolute weirdo, he kinda.... liked being found attractive by him?
But, he would be happy being found attractive by anyone, so why was he blushing particularly hard at this?!

Jongho winced when he caught a weird smell of the boy.
One that he recognized to be the smell he had recognized whenever he walked past the clubs and liquor shops of Seoul.

The smell of sweat and alcohol.
He turned his head to the side disgusted by the smell, his hands pushed at the others shoulders trying to pry away.
He now knew why the boy was acting this way.
Clearly, he wasn't sober.
That explains alot.

Tho who the fuck drinks during daytime in a place like this?

When his light pushes weren't working, jongho then moved his hand and pushed the boy harder away from his from his torso this time.

Well, unfortunately for jongho, that wasn't a very good idea.

Not a second later, yeosang immediately turn another way and started puking on the floor.

The small commotion attracted the gazes of many more people.

Some pointing with disgusted faces and some laughing.
Now, Jongho felt completely humiliated being in this situation.

He didn't even know this guy!
This random drunk guy, that just started forcing themselves on him in the middle of a normal day then started puking on the floor catching everyone's attention??!
The people probably thinks he know him or something....

"I'm not dealing with this today...", jongho mumbled.
His blush on his cheeks now due to the embarrassment.

He turned on his heels and started walk away.

He felt a weak tug at his sleeve.

He turned around, "hey, fuck off already!", was what he wanted to say.

A pair of eyes looked up at him.

And jongho couldn't push him away a second time

***

San fell onto his comfy bed that he had brought into his shelter.
He rolled around in his pile of soft plushies, cuddling with a few before sitting up.

He reached his hand under his bed, searching out for something.
Under the bed, he felt some tossed around blankets, some used paint that he was too lazy to clean up.
San hummed when he felt a leather like fabric touch his fingertips.

Just what he was looking for.
He pulled out a decent sized notebook, the cover being made with deep brown leather.
The pages of the book seeming worn and used, the color of the pages a yellowish hue.
The paper was wrinkly, almost like it had been dunked into water at least once.
San reached under his bed once again, hand returning with a pen in hand.
The man bit off the cover of the pen, proceeding to write in the note book about his day.
He smiled fondly at the paper as he wrote, liking the peaceful atmosphere of his safe space.

He wrote about many things.
Things that has transpired today.
Like when he started a lovely oil painting of the elegant river by his home.
And his little trip to the ice-cream store and eating a whole bucket of mint chocolate flavored ice-cream.
He was just about to write about his shopping experience of the day when suddenly his pen had stopped flowing of its black ink.

"huh?", san questioned, displeased.
He turned to a used page and started scribbling on the pages.
The pens out of ink.
He sighed in annoyance.
He knew he was missing something on the way back home.
He had constantly reminded himself to get new pens every day before today since he saw that the ink was running out.
"this won't do....", san thought to himself.
He has to finish his journal for the day.
He made a promise that he would do so.
San hopped of his bed and checked his phone.

mq01:7

He'd have to hurry.
San quickly sprinted out of his room, grabbing a normal light brown jacket with a fur collar.
In the corner of his eye, he spotted a black case, one with the shape similar with the shape of a guitar case.
Without much thought, san hung the band of the case around his torso and headed out the door.
He picked up the bike that was lazily thrown right outside his front door and hopped on as he started cycling back into civilization, away from the secluded area from the place where he called home.

San huffed with heavy breathes, once again he dropped his bike on the ground with a mild sounding crash as he roamed the familiar grounding of where he previously just was.
The man turned his head around, eyes darting from one shop sign to another.
He reached in his pocket pulling out his phone again.

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"shit it's that late already?" san exclaimed, suprised.

He jogged towards a stationary store, it being the one he's most familiar with.
San entered the store, his goal repeating in his mind.

His situation was tight, he knew he didn't have much more time left, the man had no time to get distracted.
Get the pens and leave.
He walked with hurried steps towards the pen aisle.
'Grab it and leave,
Grab it and leave,
Grab it and leave,
....'

"ah."

San felt his body freeze when he saw that the pens weren't there.
The man stifled a nervous laugh, shifting his feet somewhere else.
How long has it been since he stepped foot in this shop?

Probably been at least a month, he never had the interest for office supplies and such.
Focus, Choi san!
Where would they be if their not where they were the past years?
Have they moved places?

No, from experience, the storage room was always garaunteed to have some, he should start by checking there first.
It was take much more time if he roamed the whole store searching for it anyways.
Ok, ok, san, you're letting your mind run wild again focus on the task in hand.

mq72:7

San fumbled around the boxes in the storage room.
He skimmed through the contents of the boxes as quickly as he could with one hand, the other holding up his phone as a flashlight.
A flash of his thought made him grin.
He could practically hear the voice of his friend if he told him what he did today.
"risking your life just for a stupid pen??!
You must be insane!"

Well, that wasn't wrong.
Risking your life just because of a mere promise isn't entirely worth it.
In fact, it's absurd.
But san was determined to keep that promise of his to make a journal everyday.
Sure it sounded childish, and stupid.
But if he couldn't even fulfill this one task in his life, then there really isn't anything more he's worth, san thinks.

The man finally beams when the opened box was stored with variations of markers and pens and many other writing materials.
He grabbed a handful of the supplies and shoved some of them in the pocket of his jacket.
This would let him last a while, at least he wouldn't have to make risky trips during night time anymore.

San walked out the storage room, trying to make his footsteps as quiet as possible.
The store was divided individually by long narrow shelves that felt like they were almost touching each side of san's shoulders right now.
Along with the tall dark, painted black ceiling, the place seemed almost stuffy and uncomfortable.
No, that was exactly how it felt like.

The man held his breath as he walked.
He took a peek at the almost dark sky out the window, knowing it was the time where the city had gone dark.
He knew somewhere out there, maybe somewhere around him, maybe even right beyond the other shelf beside him, stood danger.

He was never a fearful man.
Rather a pretty courageous one for even being here in the first place.
But even if he's been in this situation more than a couple times his entire life, he can't get seemed to get used to it.
Maybe it was for the better, no one should get used to a situation as such anyways.

San walked slowly and steadily, slow enough to make the sounds of his soles almost go unnoticeable.
Almost.
If his surroundings had danger around him, he should at least be aware of it.
So he focused on the path straight ahead, it was the only thing he could do at the moment.
Any sound, any shadow, any presence of a living being around him would already be a clear sign of danger Well enough.

And he wasn't quite sure if it were his paranoid self or he could faintly hear the unbalanced echo of his own footsteps.

Between each row of shelves had a small gap that opened up each shelf towards one another making it easier for people to get to whatever they want, the main purpose to section the different variations of products.
When someone walked through the gap, they were able to see whoever was there walking alongside them.

He thought that maybe he could some how use that to be sure of his surroundings.
San walked closer towards the gap, his fist clenching by the second.

He walked past the gap.
No one was there.

....
And he exhaled shakily.
Just as he thought.

His predictions was correct.

Someone was walking alongside with him.
And they now stood behind him.
When he walked past the gap, yes, no one was there.
But the way the echo of his footsteps stopped when he passed the gap couldn't go unnoticed by his cautious self.

And if that wasn't clear enough.
Let me repeat myself.
Someone was walking beside him this whole times until just now.
They stopped their steps in order to hide themselves from being seen by san when he walked through the gap between the bookshelf.
And noticing how san had frozen up at the realization, they realized they had no need to hide from the man anymore.

San turned around in an instant.
It was something that was the same height as him.
Something that was as muscular as him.
Something that had the same exact attire as him.
And also had black hair like him.
It was none other than San himself that stood behind him. But this creature could never be deemed as a person, because it has everything a human body could have.
All but a face.

On instinct, he elbowed whatever creature that stood behind him, and darted towards the exit of the store.
He didn't know how long the creature had been following him, maybe from the start it had already started following him.

The man got closer to the store, glancing in the direction of the huge windows placed by the door.
The reflection of the creature was no where to be seen.
But san already knew the ways of this world long ago.
That thing was still chasing directly behind him.

.... Or was it?
Around him, san could hear the echos of running in his direction.
They came from anywhere but behind him.
Okay, maybe the creature wasn't directly behind him.
But how could he be so sure?

San caught sight of another gap between the sections of shelves.
Maybe he could use that a second time to confirm the location of the creature chasing him.
And the small second of chance he had flew by.
He ran past the gap making use of his time by looking left then right in that millisecond.

Nothing.

But the hurried footsteps never stopped.
San has been in the situation a few times, he wasn't a fool to be clueless enough in this life or death situation.

He looked up.

And sure enough his face was met with another.
One that was blank.

San wasted no time and dodged the human shaped figure that had pounced towards san when he was caught off guard.
Its face met with the tile floor with a loud smash, san could hear a loud crack along but it seemed to pay no mind to it.
The man too fell on the floor backwards.
His elbows hitting the floor before his spine could.
San grunted as he picked up on his feet with a pained face.
But as soon as he could, he felt a tug at his jacket causing him to tumble.

San lifted his head.
His shoulder stung as it was met with the metal shelf.
The faceless creature walked slowly towards the man, san immediately noticing the huge deep red stain on its shirt.
His minds instantly traveled back to when the creature had landed on its face.
The way it landed evidently gruesome.
A normal person could never go on after such a fall without immense suffering.
But this was something else.

A huge cut could be seen around its neck.
The figure walked slowly and almost clumsily, the resemblance uncanny to a drunk in daylight.
San realized he had won.
The creature's hands occasionally came up to hold its head.
The man knew it wasn't because of the pain but to balance the head threatening to fall of its head.

The creature sprinted towards san, the figure holding something in its hand.
San wasted no time and kicked the creature before it could even get to him.
Once again standing up and keeping his eye on the creature to make sure he doesn't get plummeted to the ground a second time.

San knew any normal person with normal instinct would have bolted out of there immediately.
But he knew better than to be "normal" in this situation.
Even if he ran, the creature would just catch up within seconds.
It was better to just kill it off before it got to him.
San caught sight of the figure's hand, noticing it holding a shiny item, one with the resemblance of a pair of scissors.
Well that would make sense, they were in a stationery shop after all.

Just as he thought, the creature got up to its feet in no time.
The two pounced towards each other.
The creature held the scissors in its hands, san eyeing the item intently.
It aimed for san's stomach at first, but san had moved in the process, the scissors accidentally aiming for his thigh instead.
San shouted in pain, the pair of scissors digging into the flesh of his skin, and though the creature unsatisfied with where the sharp object had landed, it still felt satisfied with the way san's pants were soaked with blood.
San's hands reached to the creature's, prying away the hands that opened the pair of scissors, tearing the flesh of his thigh from the inside.

When san figured that the creature was too strong he instead punched it's head as hard as he could.
And just like he thought the head on its body immediately fell backwards.
Blood spilled out of its necks and the insideof it fully exposed.
The small piece of skin that originally connected had snapped due to the force of the pull.
Only the bone of the spine that connected the head to its body, while the spine threatening to fall out as well with the weight of the head.

In a panic, the creature's hands freed the pair of scissors, giving san some time to pull the pair of scissors out of his thigh.
The creature's hands reached for its falling head, but before it could, san tripped the figure making it fall to the ground.
The man kneeled on one of the creature's hands, stabbing the other hand.

And without hesitation, he grabbed the creature's head instead.

The figure was in a panic, struggling and writhing underneath the man.
San ignored the creature, he grunted as the man started to put force within his hands.
The creature under him kicked against the ground, if it had a voice, it would be shouting in agony, but fortunately for san, it didn't.
San felt splatters of blood on his face as the spine of the creature slowly started to get pulled out by himself as the creature continued struggling.
Blood everywhere as san continued.

The creature's hand's prayed up to san's shoulder's punching and hitting so harshly, san didn't know how much more he could take.
He tugged and tugged while the creature kicked the ground uncontrollably.
San felt droplets of blood flow down his face,
or at least,
that's what he likes to think.
He didn't like to admit that those were his tears instead.

He stared down at the creature in his hand, his own grunts drowning out anything rational in his mind.
He looked just like him, except without a face.
But....
That was exactly how san saw himself, wasn't it?
Who even was he?
He didn't have an answer for that.
All his instincts told him that he had to survive and that's what he's doing
But why?
Why did he feel so terrible about all of this?
It was the creature that had attacked him first
All he's doing is self defense.

Maybe...
Maybe he had known the answer to his last question.
But it was just pathetic to think about.

A loud snap sounded and san's shirt stained red.
Blood painted the tile floor.
He looked down at the head in his hands, connected to a Long spine that disconnected from its body.
The creature had stopped kicking and its hand fell to the ground.
San dropped the head in his hands, only leaving his palms in sight.
Dark, crimson red.
His shirt, his pants, his arms....
All splattered in a deep wine red color.

He knew the answer to his last question, yes.
But then there was more questions that appeared if he'd even think about it.
More questions that he'd know he'd probably never get the answer to.
And each that made him feel equally as bad.

Is this what he had to do to survive?

He was so sensitive,
So soft hearted,
So fragile.
But no one knew that.

How...

Weak.

Would people feel the same if they were in his shoes?
Or would they had stood up like nothing happened?
It was self defense after all.
It was either him or it.

Killing someone who was identical to him felt weird.
It was like crushing a bunny underneath your hands, seeing its blood splatter all over you just for the sake of seeing it.
It felt wrong.
Life stripped away just because the rule of the world was one or another.
It really felt like killing yourself.
And if that was so,

san could easily say he had died about a 100 times.

A/N

WEEEEEEEEEE

San finally appears lesssgoooo!!!!

YE probably very confused rn and I don't blame you.

Listening to pacify her X jealousy jealousy Mashup really put me in the mood for this one tho.

Anyways word count (4397 words)