(This is a Chapter with both Y/n and Briar)

[The episode begins with Finn and Jake walking through the Cotton Candy Forest carrying something. Finn whistles happily. Jake attempts to whistle, but no pitch comes out.]

Finn: Careful! You'll wreck my gift for Briar.

Jake: Whoops. Hey, what's it supposed to be, anyway?

Finn: It's... a scale model of her favorite instrument the Acoustic Guitar, made out of popsicle sticks from so many popsicles I ate! [Salivates]

Jake: ...Sooo this means you wanna give 'er your spit, huh?

Finn: Yup! [Realizing what he said and blushes] HEY, NO—

Jake: It's okay, dude. I totally get it. Haw haw haw.

Finn: I just wanted to give 'er somethin', uh... to celebrate her music... thing that she's doing with Princes Bubblegum and her science thing.

Jake: You mean their... Super Science and Music Barbecue?!

Finn: You think it's music-y enough for 'er?

Jake: Relax. She'll love it! [To himself] And then she'll love you more then she already does... Heh heh heh...

Finn: Wha?!

Jake: Hey, there's Briar, Bubblegum, and Y/n! [Bonnie dumps charcoal on a grill while Y/n holds a spatula and Briar holds a plate of steaks.] Hide it behind your back, man! [Bonnie feeds Flambo a piece of charcoal.] Princess! Bria! Bro!

Bonnie: Oh. Hi, guys! Just gettin' the grill cookin' for tonight's BBQ!

Y/n: I'm making so much BBQ that Guga Foods would be jealous.

Briar: Who's that Papa?

Y/n: Someone from papa's youth sweetie.

Briar: Oooo, what's that Finny.

Finn: Oh, I... I made you somethin'.

Y/n: [clenching teeth] You did?! [Bonnie smacks him upside the head] I mean that's great...

Briar: Can I see it?

Finn: Yes. Close your eyes.

Briar: [Doing so] A'ight.

Finn: [Holding gift in front of her face] Get ready to open your eyes!

Briar: Achoo! [She sneezes and knocks the popsicle sculpture, destroying it.] Can I open my eyes?

Finn: [Distressed noise] No, wait, uh, keep 'em closed for, like, three more hours!! [He pulls out glue and more popsicle sticks on the tray, attempting to make another model.]

Briar: I'm gonna open my eyes. [She does so then gasps.] Oh, Finn! It's black and white! I love black and white! Oh, thanks, Finny!

[Finn makes a blushing smile.]

Chet: [Running up to the three] Aunt Bria! Aunt Bria!

Peppermint Butler: [Walking up] Better not say nothing, you!

Briar: Tell Aunt Bria what's got you troubled Chet.

Chet: Um... So, I called vice grill-meister for the BBQ, but Pepper won't give up the secondary spatula!

Peppermint Butler: Fine, fine. You can have it... [Running away] ...when you pry it from my cold, dead hands!!

Chet: [Chasing after him] NOOOO!!

Briar: At least Papa is watching... [Briar notices an angry Y/n has set the grill on fire] PAPA THE GRILL IS ON FIRE!

Y/n: [shakes out of his anger daze] Huh it is?! OH DAMNIT!

[Finn gasps and jumps in. He knocks the flaming charcoal out of the grill and notices a pile of steaks.]

Finn: MEAT!! WAH!! [He knocks some steaks onto the fire then stabs a bunch of them so that they cling to his sword.] DIE, YOU FIRE!!! [He puts out the fire by piling the steaks on it.]

Briar: [Walking up to him] Finny! That was awesome.

Y/n: I suppose it was, but now all these steaks are ruined. If Sanji was here, he would kill you for wasting food. Man if I had a nickel for everytime I ruined food around him, I would be the richest man in OOO.

Finn: Oh. Heh... Thanks, Bria. I'm always happy to help.

Bonnie: I see. Your heroic brain is fascinating in a scientific way. Many scientific minds are going to be speaking at my barbeque. You should talk about something, too. Don't you agree Briar?

Briar: You'll do that for me, right Finny?

Finn: [Mesmerized] Anything you want...

Briar: Thanks, Finny! [She notices that Chet and Peppermint Butler are still fighting over the spatula while Bonnie trys to separate them.] Listen, I have to help Mother deal with this. [Walking away] See you tonight?

Finn: [Blushing] Uh... Yeah! [He takes a reality check and starts breathing hard.]

Jake: [Now a paper bag] Buddy, just breathe into me.

Finn: Ah?

Jake: [Turns back to normal] You're just gonna give a speech to a buncha' brainiacs.

Finn: I can't hang with those guys. I'm full of stupid.

Y/n: [walking up] Yes, yes you are. But I might know a way to make you smarter for Briar's sake. [mumbles] Against my better judgement.

Finn: A trip to Brain Town?

Jake: I think he mains the library.

Finn: [Mysteriously] The Library of the Undead...

Y/n: I've been there, necromancy is pretty fun sometimes.

Jake: The regular library then?

Y/n: Yep.

Jake: Wait aren't you supposed to be watching the grill.

Y/n: What do you mean? I am.

[Jake looks over and sees Y/n at the grill.]

Jake: You can clone yourself?

Y/n: Shadow Clone Jutsu, best thing I ever learned. [thinking] Especially when it comes to satisfying two women at once.

Jake: Cool. Now off to the library.

[Finn looks unimpressed. The scene switches to the library. Finn and Jake are reading. Jake stares at his book, then at Finn, then back at his book. Y/n is currently reading his own book.]

Jake: Hey, Finn, Bro, let's split. This turned out to be boring.

Finn: But I have to cram this info!

Y/n: Eat the book Finn, it totally works.

Finn: Really?

Y/n: No, jesus christ I was kidding.

Jake: Okay, okay... I'll just keep readin' this book about figs.

Y/n: I will keep reading my favorite book about things you are too young to know about Finn.

Finn: Okay then, and I'll just read this book about pigs.

[Finn blinks twice. Jake blinks. Finn blinks again. Finn notices that their blinks make sounds. Jake blinks twice. Finn smiles as he blinks rhythmically.]

Jake: Haha! Whatcha doin'?!

Finn: I'm bored now, too!

Y/n: Huh, musical blinks, that's new.

Turtle Princess: [Whispering] Shh! Hey! That's completely inappropriate! And also that book shouldn't even be here, it's inappropriate! [She shoves them out.]

Finn: But... w-w-we were just enthusiastic about learning!

Y/n: Man she doesn't know good literature, this book is art incarnate!

[Scene transition. Y/n, Finn, and Jake are walking elsewhere.]

Finn: Hmm... So, if I can't book-learn for beans, we'll just get some smarty to explain scientific junk to me!

Jake: Yeah, then you can at least sound smart... but where're you gonna find someone like that?

Y/n: [coughs]

Jake: You got something in your throat bro?

Y/n: Nevermind...

[They arrive at a big, hollow apple near Tree Trunks' house.]

Finn: Jake... Bro... we're goin' to college.

Y/n: Dear god... I can't do it again...

[Finn looks inside the apple. A professor worm is teaching student worms.]

Professor worm: And the great question endures... "Who would win in a battle between Nietzsche's Übermensch... and Mandroid?" The answer is... [Angry] WEREWOLF QUEEN! IT'S ALWAYS WEREWOLF QUEEN!

Y/n: Alright this professor is speaking facts.

Finn: [Whispering to Jake] Rad!

[Finn takes a marker out of his pack and draws a face on his finger. Jake also has a face drawn on his finger.]

Jake: Heh heh heh heh heh.

Y/n: Jake just shrink down.

Jake: Oh, yeah.

[Jake shrinks, but leaves his hand the same size.]

Professor Worm: And when I finally meet the Werewolf Queen, she will take me on as her royal consort and we will rule in blood!

Y/n: Nevermind the professor is crazy.

[Putting his hand in the apple, Finn is talking "through" his finger, pretending to be a worm.]

Finn: Hey, teach. Can you talk more about scientific... uh... stuff and things?

Professor worm: Well... sure, I could... [Irritated; raising voice] if this wasn't a class on THEORETICAL FIGHTONOMICS!

Y/n: THUGANOMICS IS BETTER!

Professor worm: WHO THE HELL SAID THAT?

Finn: [Awkwardly] Ohhh...

Professor worm: Are you even in this class, Mister....

Professor worm: Are you even in this class, Mister....

Professor worm: [Skeptical] McSquirmy, huh? Well, we'll just see about that, I— [Pleasantly surprised] Oh! There you are. W. McSquirmy. I'm sorry. Yes, you're registered and you haven't shown up for a single class!

[The worms all gasp.]

Worm: Truancy hurts us all, McSquirmy!

[Finn gets a spitball and a paper airplane hurled at his finger.]

Finn: Hey! Ow! Please! Where's your compassion?!

Professor worm: Let's kill 'im!!

[The worms attack.]

Worms: ASSAIL!!

[Finn gasps.]

Worm with glasses: Excelsior! [He gets jabbed by Finn.]

[Finn and Jake proceed to fight the worms. The worms all bite Finn's hand and Finn yells in pain.]

Finn: Jake, let's get outta here! [The professor worm strikes Finn's finger with a book.] OW! [He takes his hand out.]

Professor worm: [Peeking out of apple] And stay out of Academia! [Goes back into apple]

Finn: [Walking away with Jake following] Well... that's it. I'm all outta ideas on how to learn this junk.

Y/n: Welp guess your only option is magic.

Finn: No... That's the easy way out.

Jake: [Not seeing anything wrong] Yeah. It's the easy way out!

Y/n: Exactly.

Finn: [In realization] Oh! Oh, yeah! Let's go visit Choose Goose and his magical shack!

[Scene transition to Choose Goose's magic hut.]

Choose Goose: Magic, you say?! [Chuckles]

Finn: Yeah, Choose Goose! I need magic! Some kind of mind-enhancing magic.

Choose Goose: Ah, yes, the quest you are on, requires [Revealing them] the Glasses of Nerdicon!

[Finn and Jake gasp in awe. Y/n just keeps a neutral face.]

Finn: So... I just put those on, and then I'd be able to give that lecture... and Briar will totally dig it. Yeah! Whadaya want for it, CG?

Y/n: [clenches teeth and grips his hands into fists] Yep she sure will dig it... [thinking] I'm totally gonna punish Bonnie for making me help Finn get Bria's attention.

Choose Goose: Lately, I've been feeling drained. I only wish to be entertained.

Finn: [Thinking] Hmm... Oh! [He starts scatting and wiggling his finger. Choose Goose laughs.]

Choose Goose: Well done! The glasses, you have won! [Laughs]

[Finn makes a big gasp. The camera zooms in quickly on Finn's skin until his individual skin cells are visible. Soon, his molecules and then atoms are viewed. The zoom transitions into outer space where galaxies are visible. The camera zooms in on the milky way, then the solar system, then Earth, then Ooo, then back to Finn, who completes his gasp.]

Finn: [Grabbing onto Jake] Everything small is just a small version of something big!! I understand everything!!

Jake: Whoa, bud, are you okay?

Y/n: He figured out the secrets of the universe. No-one is okay after that.

Finn: Oh, Jake... I'm better than okay. I know exactly how to impress Bria.

Jake: More popsicle sticks?

Finn: No. No. Those popsicle sticks were as fragile as my old perception of reality. But wait! Maybe you're on to something and it involves bubbles! I could show Bria bubbles the likes of which no one has ever seen!!

Jake: And how will you do that?

Finn: I'll start with a solid bulleted list!

Y/n: [sighs] This isn't going to end well...

[Two bullet points appear. The Adventure Time logo spins onto the screen and lands next to the bullet points. The scene shifts to the Science and Music Barbecue where the participants are applauding.]

Bonnie: [To audience] Thanks again to Dr. Dextrose for sharing your fascinating research on the future of cuteness.

Finn: Yes, yes, how charming. What... quaint notions.

[Dr. Dextrose grumbles angrily about Finn as he walks offstage. ("Impudent...")]

Briar: And now for a special guest lecture by one of Ooo's greatest heroes... My Precious Finny!

[Finn and Jake take the stage. Jake pushes a cart with a tarp over it.]

Y/n: This should be good.

Finn: Ladies and gentlemen... and princess... [Winks at Briar who blushes and waves back] 

Y/n: [trying to get out of his seat but Bonnie holds him back with a device] What the hell Bonnie?

Bonnie: I'm not going to let you stop this. I wanna see how this turns out.

Finn: I'm here to talk about multi-dimensional bubbles! But I'm not just going to talk about blowing bubbles! I'm going to blow... your... minds!

Briar: Hmm?

Finn: [Revealing bubble creator] This is a bubble-blower of my own design. With this, you can blow bubbles in different dimensions. [He sets the device to two dimensions and blows a bubble with no depth.] This two-dimensional bubble casts a one-dimensional shadow. [He sets the device to three dimensions and blows a normal, everyday bubble.] A three-dimensional bubble casts a two-dimensional shadow. [He sets the device to four dimensions and blows a three-dimensional shadow that appears to be a projection of a four-dimensional tesseract.] A fourth-dimensional bubble casts a three-dimensional shadow... IT IS BEYOND COMPREHENSION! [The audience is amazed.] Beyond space!! Beyond time!!

Y/n: Wait a second... dear god... FINN WHAT DID YOU CREATE?

Bonnie: If I'm correct that means he created.

Briar: Aww, crap-baskets...

Finn: Yes I've created... A BLACK HOLE!!!

[The projection turns into a black hole. Everything starts going towards it. Jake protects everyone as Finn laughs maniacally. Jake grabs Finn and pulls him over.]

Y/n: FINN YOU DUMBASS!

Briar: DO SOMETHING FINNY!!

Finn: It's okay. I'm sure the solution is on my bulleted— [Losing it] LIST!! [The list gets sucked in.] Don't worry. I have everything under control.

Briar: UNDER CONTROL?! THE GUESTS ARE TERRIFIED!!

Finn: YES!! AND THEIR BRAINS ARE RELEASING ADRENALINE! DOPAMINE! EVEN DIMETHYLTRYPTAMINE FROM THE PINEAL GLAND! This has serious educational value!! Thanatophobia and this NDE is giving us euphoric altered awareness!! Don't you see, Bria?!? WE WERE ALL BORN TO DIE!!

Briar: BUT I'M IMMORTAL BECAUSE OF PAPA FINNY! I CAN'T DIE!

Finn: Oh I forgot about that, how could I possibly forget about that.

Y/n: Ugh, you dumbass. I'm gonna figure out how to fix this. Why did you think this was a good idea.

Briar: That's what I wanna know.

Finn: I'M TRYING TO GIVE YOU THE GREATEST CONFERENCE EVER!!!

Briar: Finny...! You've gone insane!

Finn: What?! No way! I'm, like, the smartest guy in Ooo, thanks to these glasses!

Briar: Glasses? Finny... take those off. You're not yourself and I don't like it!

Finn: But—

Briar: [Eyes watering] Please!! I need the real you! I want MY Finny back!

[She takes off the glasses.]

Finn: What's goin' on?! [Noticing black hole] WHOA!!!

Y/n: You created a Black hole with this damn bubble creator.

Finn: Then I'll kill it... with this! [His golden sword]

Briar: Be careful Finny.

Y/n: I'm gonna help him.

Bonnie: Please be careful N/n.

Y/n: Sure thing.

[Y/n flys over to Finn and Briar suddenly loses control over the bubble creator and it comes hurling towards Finn.] Finny!! Look out!!

[Finn stabs the device, turning his sword into a fourth-dimensional object.]

Finn: Wha? Fourth-dimensional! Y/n, throw me!

Y/n: SAY LESS!

Finn: YAAAAAAH!!! [He leaps into the black hole, readying his sword for attack.]

Jake/Bonnie/Briar: Finn/ FINNY!

Y/n: GO GET EM KID!

[The black hole is suddenly destroyed in a grand explosion. Finn is hurled out without his sword. Jake protects everyone from the explosion while Y/n catches Finn at the same time.]

Briar: Finny... My Science and Music Barbecue was a fiasco... [Cries]

Y/n: [cracks knuckles] Oh I'm gonna beat his ass for making her cry.

[All of the audience members suddenly cheer excitedly and enthusiastically. ("That was incredible!" "That was the greatest conference ever!") The bulleted list from earlier lands in Briar's hands.]

Briar: What's this? [Reading list] "Make hyper bubble. Cause black hole. Become insane. Bria takes off the glasses. Save the day. Win the heart of Bria."? Finny, you knew all this would happen?!

Finn: Huh? Knew what? I wrote that list when I was insane with smartness!

[She leans in and kisses Finn on his cheek. Finn blushes and breathes heavily and nervously before fainting. Briar giggles at him as the audience continues to cheer.]

Y/n: Well that was something. But did ya have to kiss him on the cheek Briar? I mean there's-

Briar: Papa I love you, but if you say that there is someone better for me. I will smack you, I don't care if you are my papa!

[Y/n smirks and laughs]

Y/n: Damn, I guess you are my daughter. Very well, you can pursue him if you wish. You have my permission. But if he ever makes you cry again then I can beat him half to death?

Briar: As long as I get a few hits in as well and thanks Papa, this means a lot.

Y/n: [patting Briar on the head] Of course sweetie.

[Episode ends]