[The episode begins with Finn, Jake, and the Swamp Giant falling from a great height. They are both gripping onto the giant. Y/n is floating next to them as they fall.]

Swamp Giant: AAAAH!

Finn: Last chance, Swamp Giant! Tell us where you hid the Mini Queen!

Swamp Giant: NEVER!!

[The three scream as they fall. Squeaking is heard.]

Finn: Huh? [He finds the Mini Queen.] Hi, Mini Queen! Jake! Bro! I've got 'er!

Y/n: Nice job Finn! Now grab on!

[Y/n grabs both Finn and Jake and helps them land on the ground.]

[The swamp giant hits the ground. Y/n walks up to the Swamp Giant and pokes him with his sword]

Y/n: He's dead like Chunky Kong.

 Jake: Heh heh heh. How's the Mini Queen?

Finn: I dunno. Can't understand a word she says. [The Mini Queen promptly writes a message on Finn's hand that says, "THANK YOU 4 SAVING ME, XOXO CALL ME." The Mini Queen shapes her antennae to look like a heart.] Aww! My pleasure, ma'am! I just like beating up evil! [Finn performs a "handshake" with one of her antennae. She squeaks.] Okay... Didn't... catch any of that either.

Y/n: She was hitting on you so hard dude.

Finn: Oh...

[The Mini Queen jumps on Jake's nose and then leaps away.]

Jake: [Sniffs] Mini Queen must've stepped in somethin' funky. [Sniffs] No... It's not tiny feet I'm smelling! This way! [He sniffs the ground and follows a scent. The scent leads him to a sword.] Whoa!

Y/n: Well I'll be damned.

Finn: What?

Jake: [In awe] Do you know whose sword this is?! This is the sword of Billy!

Finn: Billy?!

Y/n: Oh you mean the old geezer?

Finn/Jake: YOU KNOW BILLY?

Y/n: I mean yeah, I used to adventure with him.

Finn: And you didn't think to tell us?!

Y/n: Never seemed important, also you never asked.

Jake: He makes a good point. Also!

Finn/Jake: [Singing] BIIILLYYYYYY!!!

[Flashback]

Young Billy: Nothung!

[The sword comes to Billy and sparks lightning dramatically. The musical sequence begins.]

https://youtu.be/auQCYHbuaQY

[Back in the present]

Finn: Oh, yeah! That was the most mathematical thing ever!

Jake: Oh, yeah! Hahaha! He fought a bear!

Finn: This is so cool!

Y/n: Billy was okay, still think I was the better hero.

Finn: You are a great hero, but Billy is just better.

Jake: He's Billy.

Y/n: (mumbling) "あのジジイが私より優れたヒーローであるはずがない" (There is no way that old geezer is a better hero than me.)

Finn: You say something bro?

Y/n: No.

[Finn attempts to pull out the sword. The ground cracks and makes a hole in the side of the mountain appear.]

Finn/Jake: Whoa!

Finn: It's Billy's legendary crack!

Y/n: Phrasing Finn...

[They go inside. Finn and Jake gasp as they are treated with Billy's presence. Y/n just sighs.]

Billy: [Sighs] Hello. [looks at Y/n] Brat.

Y/n: [glares] Old Geezer.

Billy: I see you still haven't fixed you attitude.

Y/n: Feelings mutual.

Finn: [Whispering to Jake] It's him! It's him!!

Jake: [Whispering] I know, I know! Be cool!!

Billy: Yep. It's me.

Finn: Man! I'm such a huge nerd for you! Please take us on as hero apprentices!

Y/n: But you are already my hero appren-

Jake: Shhh, bro.

Y/n: "黙らせてやる" (I'll make you shut up.)

Billy: What for?

Finn: So that we could learn to kick evil's butt... just like you!

Jake: I wanna be the dog version of you!

Y/n: But you said you wanted to be the dog version of me.

Jake: [not paying attention] Yeah, yeah that too.

Billy: Ahh, that'd be a waste of time.

Jake: Heh. Yeah. I-I'm a little paunchy... but I could do some sit-ups!

Billy: No, I was talking about beating up monsters. It's as pointless as a dog chasing his own tail.

Jake: Heh. See, that's where you're wrong... 'cuz watch! [He tries to catch his tail, of course to no avail.] Ah... ah...

Finn: What do you mean, "pointless?" We just saved the Mini Queen from a monster!

Billy: You know where she is right now? She's probably being eaten by a different monster. She's probably dead. [Finn gasps.] In my youth, I was much like you. Motivated. Headstrong. Wore a silly, little outfit. Even had a magic dog.

[Billy points to his skeleton of a dog.]

Y/n: Why do you still have Fenrir's skeleton? 

Billy: Never mind that.

Jake: [Scared, yet smiling] Heh... I'm gonna pass out... [Falls backward]

Billy: All my life, I've beaten on evil creatures. [Deep sigh] But new evil keeps popping up. Kicking their butts was a hopeless effort!

Jake: What other way is there?

Billy: Nonviolently. Help people by being active in your community.

Y/n: That's stupid, old geezer.

Billy: And like your "Lazy Justice" is any better brat. You remember when sh-

[Y/n's aura then flares up as he glares at Billy]

Y/n: YOU DO NOT GET TO SPEAK HER NAME!

[Y/n takes a breather and steps outside]

Y/n: I'll be outside...

Jake: That was weird.... What was that all about?

Billy: Y/n might be a great hero, but his Lazy Justice is simply ineffective.

Finn: Oh.... [Sighs] I gotta try being nonviolent... the Billy way...

Jake: Me, too!

Finn: Billy, I won't let you down!

Jake: I love you, Billy! I got a secret crush on you, Billy!

[They run away screaming. Billy sighs wearily. The scene shifts to the Grass Lands. Finn is riding on Jake while Y/n just follows them silently.]

Finn: This is gonna be tough, Jake. I'll have to suppress my every warrior instinct.

Jake: Relax. It'll be easy not to beat up on monsters and still help people.

Y/n: This is stupid ya know. Helping your community is good, but it takes a real hero to be able to hurt others to protect others.

Cobbler: Help! Help! [Y/n, Finn, and Jake notice his cries.] A monster! [The cobbler runs into Jake's leg. Jake retracts.] Oh! Thank goodness! Heroes! I'm being chased by a horrible Dragon! Please, please help!

Finn: Oh, uh...

Jake: Oh...

Cobbler: Act quickly! He's almost upon us!

Jake: [Straightforward] Sorry. We don't beat stuff up anymore.

Cobbler: No, but please! [Stammers frantically]

Finn: [To Jake] Dude. We gotta do something to help him.

Jake: I could teach 'im how to not be such a spaz.

Y/n: You could just.... beat up the dragon? Like you usually do?

Finn: But that's not the Billy way. [To cobbler] Hey, Mister. Besides being chased by a monster, what else is wrong?

Cobbler: Well... I've been running all day. I guess I'm pretty hungry.

Jake: Say no more. [Walking away, pulling Finn with him] Come on, Finn.

Cobbler: Where're you going?!

Jake: To make you somethin' to eat!

[They leave. The dragon arrives.]

Cobbler: AAAH!! NO!! HELP!!

[The dragon attacks him by breathing fire and Y/n sighs.]

 Y/n: "私は関与しなければならないと思う" (Guess I have to get involved)

[Y/n jumps up into the air and punches the dragon into the ground knocking it out. The scene transitions to a town where Finn and Jake are running a food stand.]

Finn: I still feel weird about not fighting off that dragon.

Jake: Trust me. This is a way better way to help 'im. [Yelling out] Gruel! Get your free gruel!

Lady: [Walking up to stand] What's this all about?

Finn: Free gruel, ma'am. I can't beat monster butts, but I can beat your hungry guts. That's for sure!

Lady: Hahaha! [Eats gruel] I didn't throw up! This gruel is very adequate.

Finn: [Victoriously] YEAH!!!

[Cut to the other townspeople eating Finn and Jake's gruel.]

Finn: This is great, Jake!

Jake: Yeah, we're really helpin' people!

Finn: Whoa! Look who it is!

[The cobbler walks up to Finn and Jake.]

Jake: Dude! You're alive!

Cobbler: [Angrily] No thanks to you two!! I'm lucky that this guy right here managed to beat up the dragon with ease. I would have most likely gottten chased for two days ...And then got lost for... uh, three days... and then... fall under a spell of a beautiful enchantress for... [Unsure] a week? So that's two, plus three, plus a week—

Y/n: It would have been a bigger pain in the ass...

[Jake shushes him.]

Jake: [Deliberate] Dude. Gruel.

Cobbler: Oh, thank you! [Eats it] Hahahaha! Hahaha. [His hand suddenly becomes encased in stone.] AAAH! WHAT'S HAPPENING?!

Y/n: Oh my god... what the hell did you two do?

Finn: Huh? [Holds up glass with potion in it] Oh, that's probably the stone skin potion I added to the recipe. It gives your body the power to grow armor.

Y/n: [sighs] "馬鹿野郎" (You damn idiot)

Cobbler: Wha? Ah... uh?!

[More of his body becomes encased in stone. The cobbler strikes himself with a fork, and it has no effect. The cobbler panics.]

Jake: Dude... how much of that potion did you use?

[Finn holds up five more empty potion bottles. The townspeople have grown armor as well. One of the townspeople's belly button starts shooting flames.]

Townsperson: AAAAH!! MY TUMMY IS BREATHING FIRE!!!

Y/n: God damnit... I'm gonna fix this.

[Y/n goes to the food stall and begins cooking]

Finn: [To Jake] Geez... I thought people would like that.

Cobbler: Why?! Why would anyone want that?!

Finn: So you can defend against evil monsters!

Cobbler: You're supposed to beat up monsters so we don't have to defend ourselves! Like the man over there cooking!

Finn: No, see? I'm helping you nonviolently!

Cobbler: Helping?! I can't even move my hands! I'm a cobbler! How'm I supposed to cobble with these useless chunk mitts?!

Finn: Sooo... the village needs the help of a new cobbler, eh?

Finn/Jake: [Thinking] Hmmmmmm...

Cobbler: WHAT?! NO—

Y/n: Jesus Christ...

[Cut to the shoe-repair shop.]

Finn: Alright! We're cobblers!

Cobbler: No, you're not!! You're just watching my shop while I go to the guy outside cooking up the cure for us! [Leaving] And don't try to cobble anything!

Jake: [To Finn] What does "cobble" mean, anyway?

Finn: I think it has something to do with shoes...

Fine Lady: [Entering shop] Excuse me! Can you help me? I need a broken heel fixed. I'm going to a fancy funeral.

Finn: [Taking shoe and heel] Of course I'll help!

[Scene transition. Finn is hammering in the heel.]

Finn: There! [Rolling over to lady] Whah! [He puts the shoe on her foot.] Pa-kow!!

Fine Lady: Ah!

[She seems content with the repair. Suddenly, a blade comes out of the shoe. The lady makes a small gasp.]

Finn: Now you can fight off evil if it shows up at the funeral!

Jake: [To Finn] Did you fix that shoe with a magic nail?

Finn: Maybe... [The shoe arms axes, an extra blade, and a lasso.] Whoa!

Jake: Cool!

Fine Lady: I cannot go to the funeral in these!

Cobbler: [Entering shop] Hey, everyone! I'm back from the doctor! [The lady's shoe lace lasso's the cobbler.] WHY?! [The lace forces the cobbler to the ground.]

Fine Lady: [To Finn and Jake] ...And I'm not supposed to bring a guest.

Y/n: [Entering shop and sighs and sticks out his hand] CLOTHES BEAM!

[Y/n uses his clothes beam to return the Fine Lady's outfit back to normal]

Fine Lady: Thank you.

Y/n: No problem.

Cobbler: [To Finn and Jake] GET OUT!!

[Cut to outside the shop.]

Finn: Apparently, I suck at being nonviolent.

Jake: Dude, suckin' at somethin' is the first step towards bein' sorta good at somethin'. You and I are like little baby Billys right now, and we're "sucking" on our first bottle of nonviolent milk!

Finn: [Frustrated sigh] Totes. I'll stop "pooping" my diaper.

Jake: Whoa, what?!

Y/n: Wording Finn... Besides the only times non-violence and helping people works is either medical help or being a fire-fighter or working at a homeless shelter.

Finn: Medical help? Hmmmmm...

Y/n: No...

[The scene shifts to the hospital where Finn and Jake are doctors. Y/n is in a nurse outfit.]

Y/n: Why the hell am I in a nurse outfit?

Finn: It was all we could find.

Y/n: Fine...

Finn: How can we help?

LSP: I want surgery to make my body hot.

Finn: Yikes...

Y/n: Okay listen, not even I can fix... that.

LSP: Yeah. I know I'm already pretty smokin'... but I bought this swimsuit, so I need a swimsuit body.

Y/n: I'm going to go bleach my eyes. I'll be back...

Jake: [Whistles] [To Finn] You up for some serious plastic surgery?

[The Adventure Time logo swirls onto the screen.]

[LSP comes out of the hospital with a new body, complete with legs.]

LSP: Aw, yeah! This body's hot! And powerful! [Suddenly, machine parts form on her body like a cyborg.] Huh?! Aw, what?! [Her legs turns into a wheel. She makes pained noises.]

Jake: Dude, did you use a magic nail again?

Finn: I've got three left!

Y/n: [appears and grabs them and incinerates them] NO MORE!

LSP: Ohhhh... [She gains a robotic eye.] What did you do to me??

Finn: We transformed you into a cyborg fighter! That's hot, right?

LSP: No one thinks this look is hot!!

[The cobbler suddenly walks up.]

Cobbler: [To LSP] Oh, my laces! You're the most beautiful— [He suddenly gets shot with a laser from her robotic eye.]

LSP: Huh?!

[Her wheel activates, and she speeds into the cobbler.]]

Y/n: Yeah that one can solve it's self...

Finn: ...Jake...?

Jake: ....Yeah...?

Finn: I think us being nonviolent... is hurting people. Man... Billy is gonna be so bummed out...

Y/n: Who cares?

Finn/Jake: What?

Y/n: Pacifism is stupid, it never works when you are a hero. You need to understand that being a hero means that you need to fight. Sure when you defeat evil there will always be new evil to take it's place. But that is just the cycle of good and evil. What have I been teaching you two about Justice?

Finn: That justice always has different interpretations on how it should be enforced?

Y/n: Exactly and you both know that I am an avid user of Lazy Justice, which is just that sometimes justice is seldom worth pursuing, but when you need to enforce it, it should be done with little effort. I might seem lazy when it comes to beating bad guys and I usually want you two to do most of the work, but that's because I know you two can do it. I'll only get involved if I need too or I know you two can't handle it. You two need to find your own sense of justice. I'm not going to stop you on your non-violent path if you want to continue, but just know that I'll still be here when you make your choice.

Finn: Man... that was deep...

Jake: Yeah...

[Finn and Jake notice more cries for help.]

Old Lady: AAAH! AAAH! HELP ME!!

Swamp Giant: Hahaha! Relax! I'm just gonna grind you up!!

Old Lady: AAAH! AAAH!

Jake: [To Finn] Aw, man, this grass-bag again?? [Heroically] HEY, EVIL-DOER! [Weakly] Um... could you keep your evil-doing quiet? Finn is dealing with some heavy stuff over here.

Swamp Giant: It's not evil!! When they get this old, they wanna be ground up!! Hahaha! Right, you old bat?!

Old Lady: Help!!

Y/n: What will you do Finn? It's time to choose. Will you accept Justice or being a Pacifist?

[Finn sweats.]

Swamp Giant: Right?!?

[Finn strains, visibly in conflict.]

Old Lady: Oooh!! Aaah!!

[Finn raises his fist.]

Finn: Huh?? A fist raised in righteous anger?! Oh, no! It's my fist!! I've gotta think of a way to save this old lady without punchin' this guy in the face!! Hmmm...

Swamp Giant: [To Old Lady] Yeah, you wanna get ground up, right?!?

Finn: [Furiously] WRONG!!!! [He punches and uppercuts the Swamp Giant, saving the Old Lady.] [Quietly, to Jake] I couldn't think of anything...

Old Lady: Whooo! [Falls in Finn's and Jake's arms]

Finn: POOP!! I saved her with violence...

Old Lady: What's your huff, son?

Finn: The greatest hero in the world told me to help people without being violent... and I promised I would do that and not let him down... but I did let 'im down. But my other hero told me that being non-violent causes problems and that I should find my own sense of justice.

Old lady: Well you other hero is right about Justice! You sure helped this old gal out! And you did it with violence! Like a true hero, you were born to punch evil creatures! [Punches Finn] Just like I was born to be an old lady! Don't deny your rowdy nature, paladins! [Starts dancing] And don't take advice from old people! [Continues dancing]

Finn: Yeah... Yeah...! YEAH!! That old lady has a point!

Jake: Wait, didn't she say not to take advice from old peo—

Y/n: Eh, 50/500 on that. [To Finn] So have you made your decision Finn?

Finn: Yeah I havve bro, justice all the way! Also, sorry about ignoring you all the way. Maybe you are a better hero then Billy.

Y/n: Heh, well thanks for the compliment. Also, I'm proud of you for finding your true calling. Guess we get to continue your training.

Finn: It's all so clear to me! Back to the cave of Billy!!

[Scene transition to Billy's cave.]

Y/n: Hey Old Geezer!

Finn: It's us again.

Jake: And we've got exciting news!

Billy: Aw, I don't—I don't wanna buy anything.

Finn: Billy, an old lady told me that I shouldn't listen to you because you're old. Also, that I should do what I was born to do... which is kickin' buns and find my own sense of Justice like Y/n has taught me!

Billy: Don't you see how pointless it is? You know what's probably happening to that old lady right now? She's probably dead!

Jake: She's right here. [Turns around, revealing her]

Old Lady: Hello!

[Billy gasps.]

Y/n: I told you justice was a winner Billy. But you didn't want to listen.

Finn: We saved 'er, Billy.

Jake: You saved 'er.

Finn: I saved 'er, Billy. I saved 'er using violence and justice. And that's not a bad thing, Billy! This old lady is alive because of these! [Holds up fists and leg] And look how happy she is, man! She's elated!

Y/n: Thus proving that my justice is the best training out there!

Billy: Hmm. Perhaps you're right. [Pained groan] It's... it's as if your words are filling a void in my very being... You wanna watch? [He reveals a literal void in his stomach. Finn and Jake gasp and Y/n just makes a face of disgust. The hole starts filling up with body mass.] Nothung! [The sword comes back once again.] Finn and Jake... truly, you are my heroes. [They laugh excitedly.] Now you're freakin' me out... [Finn, Jake, and the old lady climb on Billy enthusiastically. Finn and Jake are taken off.]

Jake: We're his heroes!!

[Billy looks at the old lady.]

Billy: Huh... Hello.

Jake: Ha! Haha! I love you, Billy!!

Billy: Get outta here!!

[Finn and Jake run out quickly, laughing heartily. As Finn and Jake happily wander off, Billy nods contentedly. He then looks at Y/n who is walking out.]

Billy: Y/n...

[Y/n sighs and turns around]

Y/n: What do you want old geezer?

Billy: I just wanted to say.... I'm sorry for what happened all those years ago...

Y/n: It's fine... at least you finally apologized. I'll see ya later old geezer.

Billy: [chuckles] See ya later brat.

[The episode comes to a close.]