Timothy

I felt soft. And distant. I couldn't have said when I started to think of myself as a being. But, without a doubt, I was. There was a being that was me. A spirit that had a shape.

I wasn't in pain. And I wasn't tired.

I was soft. Distant. In a place where time had little meaning. My mind was made of whirling, slow clouds far above in the skies. I cared not of the mortal pressures.

My body lay rooted in the ground.

I could feel hundreds of little roots connecting me with the other roots of the swamp, feeding off the soil. Mingling with the fungal mycelia present. Absorbing energy, minerals and water.

A hard case formed, like a cocoon, over the tender processes of soft tissues forming over bones that had in them coded the formula of a human shape.

The swamp fed life in the vessel that was forming and would eventually guard my mind.

I would be of the soil. With a real physical form.

A physical form growing string by string, cell by cell, over bones of pure magic.

Valentina

After my pact with Mo my life changed. It had been changing for the whole academic year with Lavender transforming into Julia and Timothy exploding and Clover becoming slowly obsessed with modern technology. But the vampire Queen transformed my life in one short and effective shift.

In a month I had left Clover looking for a new flatmate. I could now afford a small studio much closer to the campus. The money came from two surprising sources:

After Timothy's burial, the very next day, I had received a call from a prestigious private high-school. They were looking for a Spanish teacher who could sometimes double French lessons, as their current French teacher was slowly approaching pension. That already more than tripled my income.

But it wasn't all that had happened. For I had also met with the University's principal soon after. He had taken interest in the self defense club I had somehow been keeping alive. It had received funding from the university and my self-defense courses now formed an official part of the university's gym program. There were more students taking interest than I had ever seen. And I got a small salary out of teaching the courses.

Yet, at the same time, some changes weren't visible. They weren't material.

My ankle, for example. For years I had lived in fear with it and been extremely careful not to sprain it. But now...

Blizzard was holding the cushion for me one late night as I practiced a jump kick at it. My heart skipped a beat as I landed badly on the right foot. It bent. I rolled on the tatami, trying to soften the movement.

Then I sat in a corner and laughed, bending and stretching an ankle that was just fine.

The vampire arched an eyebrow. But it was a good-natured gesture. There was the smallest of smiles playing on his lips.

Blizzard wasn't wearing his dark lenses as we were the only ones left at the dojo. I was getting accustomed to red eyes. And slowly, but steadily, I was also starting to forgive the man for the autumn. And was again enjoying his steady presence at the gym that put everyone at ease. I would never again mistake him for a student in his late twenties. But it didn't seem to matter with all that was going on.

Blizzard put away the cushion for me. I got to my feet and reached for a metallic water bottle I had left in a corner. I found it empty however. A clear sign I had stayed too late.

"Time to call it a day," I admitted to myself and Blizzard.

Blizzard didn't answer.

I turned around searching for him with my gaze. There was no one at the dojo, except me.

"Blizzard?"

No answer.

Suddenly I felt cold, even as I had sweated through the thick fabric of the white training suit.

I was absolutely alone. The cushion Blizzard had held for me had been placed neatly on the shelf with the other five. His bag was gone as well.

I took a deep breath. I knew Blizzard could just disappear. I had seen it a couple of times before. Still, it left me with an uncomfortable sensation, as if I had missed a step.

But, what reason had he had to go so suddenly?

Just then I saw in the mirrors how the curtain to the corridor was pushed aside, so a slender young man with curly brown hair could enter.

"Hi, I was wondering if you were here. I studied late and decided to check."

I whirled to face him.

But Hugo wasn't facing me. He had cast his gaze to the floor with an embarrassed look on his face.

I became suddenly aware that the jacket of my suit was open, revealing an extremely practical black sports bra and most of my belly.

I couldn't quite suppress an eyeroll which he obviously couldn't see with his own eyes directed to the floor.

Hugo was of a conservative Christian family. I had known him for most of my life due to the fact that my parents were catholic. I had left the church at around the age seventeen when I had been old enough to realize I preferred girls. It hadn't been a big deal. My parents and most of the parishioners didn't mind my gayness. However, some did, and I hadn't been that religious to start with. I was practical.

I almost felt like saying something sharp to lighten the mood, but thought better of it. Instead, I pretended he was looking me into the eyes as I said:

"You were looking for me?"

Hugo nodded at the matrtess he was standing on. "Yeah. There is a thing that troubles me. And I, ermm, well... I just wanted to talk to you about it... I'll wait if you want to change first."

I shrugged. I was rather clammy.

Hugo stared at his toes for the short time it took me to disentangle myself from the humid suit and slip into the clothes I had in my bag. Changing rooms were far away and I didn't intend to shower. I'd do that at home. I did live much closer to the campus now.

I cast a last glance at the cushions. I weighed my options. I could go to the Castle as well. Julia had spent there some nights of late. And I had promised the Queen some more of my blood soon. I decided against it however. I was tired and wanted to go home, shower, and fall off my feet. Julia wasn't going anywhere, and if the Queen really needed me, I would know.

"What did you come to talk to me about?" I asked Hugo as we exited the dojo and I shouldered the door shut. I turned the key and gave it a powerful shake. Locked.

"Are you busy?" he asked.

"Not that busy. What's on your mind?"

He licked his lips.

"You are Lavender's friend aren't you?"

"Oh."

A silence fell.

"There is a lot on Lavender's plate," I started at the same time as Hugo said: "Dew is kind of troubled..."

We both closed our mouths.

And went together to the Fair Marquise.

As Hellebore brought two cups of chamomile tea to our table, Hugo started talking again:

"Dew is kind of at his wit's end. I don't know how well you know the guy, but Dew doesn't often talk about anything serious. And he didn't say much, really. Just that Lavender has started to spend a lot of time outside, usually in the late evening and nights. She seems to evade the questions and maybe say something of a friend... Apparently she hangs a lot with you during those nights, or so Dew concluded. As said, he didn't really open up. But I don't know. It seems kind of dire. And I know you, so I thought... No... I am not sure what I thought, really. I am just worried for Dew. He isn't the most sensitive of guys..."

Hugo tried to sip at the tea but gave it up as too hot.

"Do you... do you know something on Lavender's end?"

I made the same mistake as Hugo, tried to sip at the tea too early.

I tried to think.

Obviously I couldn't say that Lavender had gained the memories of an ancient wizard. Or anything about the vampires... Hugo would think I was making fun of him.

Or maybe he would space out as I had.

"I... I have seen Lavender sometimes..." I started carefully. But then I didn't really know how to continue. Yes. I had seen her a couple of times in those nights she hadn't spent at home. But then again, I hadn't spent all that time with her. And I couldn't really explain where I had seen her.

I closed my eyes and then said something stupid:

"She should really explain it herself."

Even while saying it, I felt in my bones how absolutely frustrating those words were for the one hearing them. But to my luck, Hugo read more into my words than I had intended in them.

"I know. I am sorry. I understand I shouldn't poke my nose where it doesn't belong."

I sighed. Now I felt sorry for him. After all, Hugo was just trying to help out a friend who hadn't even asked for it.

"Don't be," I said. "It took some time before I was let in the loop. I still remember how it feels to stand on the outer ring."

Hugo lifted his face from his tea. He looked me in the eyes then, maybe for the first time. It startled more sincere words out of me:

"No, really. I am still not sure of everything that is going on. But I think... I think Lavender just needs a bit of time right now. Give it time, Hugo. It's really not your fight. I can't really say how it all affects Dew. And it's not my place to intervene there. There is a lot Lavender is going through right now. And... And sometimes, even if she were trying to tell..."

I painfully remembered my own journey. Even with all the effort and evidence... Timothy had really tried to communicate to me what had been going on.

"Even if she tried to tell, it requires a lot of effort and willingness on Dew's part as well. A lot. It's not something you can just explain and be done with, like a math problem you can lay down on a table and point out a clear logical pathway to solving it.

"And, to be honest," I said after a moment, "I am not even sure Ju... Lavender is willing to do any explaining right now."

I saw a type of desperate confusion in Hugo's eyes. He was really trying to find logic in what I said. I found myself quite as frustrated with not being able to deliver straightforward, clear answers.

"I am sorry, Hugo," I said. "If it helps at all, it really isn't about something that would be kept so secret that Dew absolutely couldn't figure it out. It can be figured out. He just needs to find the right memory."

As I said the word memory, I felt my hackle rising. It really was about memory.

"All of it," I said aloud, "is about a memory."

"Lavender's nightly wanderings are about a memory?" Hugo repeated.

"Yes," I asserted with passion. "That's exactly what they are. But not just that. It is also about Dew's memory. Something he doesn't remember."

"Right."

He didn't get it.

"I really can't explain it any other way."

"Mmm."

Hugo didn't say anything else, and I ran out of words too. For a moment we concentrated on trying to drink too hot, flavored water. Marquise came to put her head on Hugo's lap. I was just a bit envious as Hugo patted her silken fur.

"But, like, you have been with her, right?" Hugo said after a long awkward silence.

"Yeah?"

"So, it's not like drugs or anything... weird?"

He lifted his face as I didn't give an immediate answer.

Now, what was going on was definitely under the wide umbrella of weird stuff.

"It... It's not drugs," I said hastily, and too late. "But it is... weird." I tried to communicate with a grimace just how weird and awkward a place he had put me.

"That's informative," he commented.

"Just leave it," I tried desperately.

Then inspiration struck me. Hugo saw my face lit up. I suddenly knew how I got him off the case and would extinguish any curiosity he had.

"It's about magic," I said levelly, looking him in the eyes.

Hugo frowned.

"Magic?"

"Yes." I asserted. "Witches (I thought of master Aconite) and demons (I thought of Blizzard). Some alchemy (Marquise gave a twist to her tail). Odd powers (I thought of Timothy)."

Hugo's eyes widened. I felt I had hit the right key notes to play for him. Hugo was of a conservative Christian family. Any powers not coming from the one God were simply wrong. While the family was indeed living in Atlantis, they felt great pity for the worshipers of the myriad of little nature deities.

Hugo was searching my face as I had closed my mouth. He would get it. I waited.

A crack appeared between his lips. I waited. Did he really want to ask what kind of ceremonies were involved? Did he want to ask of demons we communicated to? Did he want to find out how deeply entangled I was? Had Lavender dragged me? Had I started it?

We had never talked of the fact that I was gay. I had known Hugo all my life and he had never so much as asked whom I was seeing.

I suddenly wondered if in his eyes I hadn't been close to a demonic possession already for some time.

I leaned back in my chair and said out loud, more to myself than to him: "It's not like I am complaining. But it really started with her. She has taken us all with her. I was never into religious things. But even I cannot deny what's in front of my eyes. Not anymore."

I closed my eyes and took the cup into my lap.

"Magic is everywhere around us. I am not sure if I am exactly grateful for all she has done to my life. But I am not complaining. I promised to stick with her as long as I possibly can. For that reason, I have given up most things. I think my soul might have been on that list."

My eyes closed, I heard him leaving. The chair scraped the floor. People around us talked of the weather, of family issues, of studies. I heard bits and pieces of conversation. Marquise came to poke my side tentatively. I gave a lazy hand to her scratching. She obviously welcomed my touch, dog or not.

The chair shifted again.

I opened my eyes to look at another brown-haired man. Hellebore cocked his head to a side, as if listening to the words of someone very small standing by the table. He was wearing the usual dark blindfold.

"I think you might have lost a friend there," he told me kindly.

"I think you might be right," I answered. "I didn't really mean it to happen."

"Has Mo been kind to you?" Hellebore asked.

"Very," I admitted.

"That is good to hear." Hellebore smiled. It was kind of unfair how I couldn't tell if the smile was genuine or faked as his eyes were veiled. I wasn't used to reading his body language.

He licked his lips. "I actually wonder if you wouldn't be interested in a bit of gossip that flew my way the other day?"

I had by now learned from Julia that Hellebore was infamous for making deals with people.

"Is the gossip free?"

He laughed. "You have spent time with the vampires, I see." Then he grew serious. "The answer is yes. This time, the gossip is free."

"Then, please, go on."

Hellebore leaned in across the table.

"I heard from a raven that flew by one swamp that there was a cocoon."

"A cocoon?" I frowned.

"Yes," Hellebore confirmed. "It was big enough to fit inside a small man. The raven tried pecking it. Some pieces came off, but the surface was hard, like a thick shell. The bird also got very nauseous for its efforts and couldn't drill a hole in the formation."

"A cocoon," I repeated.

"A cocoon. And a cocoon made of earth. It hosts a living being. Now we just wait for it to hatch."

"And," Hellebore added, pouring more tea into my cup, "I don't think it will take decades for the butterfly to emerge."